Patton Quotes

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes. ~ Patton Oswalt

There are comedians that I like. I think a lot of it, you just figure out on your own. It's definitely one of those things that you get good at by doing it a lot. But I like Jim Gaffigan. Patton Oswalt. Janeane Garofalo. ~ Michael Showalter

When you act, you're being asked to pretend in a very rigid, controlled environment. It's very un-childlike. So a lot of times, when you put kids in that situation, you hope they have a better support system outside of what they're doing to bring them back to reality at the end of the day and to keep them well-rounded. ~ Patton Oswalt

I don't have a massive fan base. I don't have Patton Oswalt numbers, but the fan base I have is incredibly generous, and of the 22,000 people who follow me on Twitter, I think almost all of those people participate. ~ Greg Behrendt

If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently. ~ Patton Oswalt

The soldier is the Army. No army is better than its soldiers. The Soldier is also a citizen. In fact, the highest obligation and privilege of citizenship is that of bearing arms for one's country ~ George S. Patton Jr.

Quantitative methods are no more synonymous with objectivity than qualitative methods are synonymous with subjectivity. ~ Mike Patton

At one dinner he [George Smith Patton] toasted his officers' wives with the words: 'My, what pretty widows you're going to make. ~ Andrew Roberts

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong. ~ Patton Oswalt

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. ~ George S. Patton

I am the best damn ass-kicker in the whole U.S. Army! ~ George S. Patton

Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte; I didn't know what I was doing, and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up. ~ Patton Oswalt

Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits. ~ Patton Oswalt

Just drive down that road until you get blown up. ~ George S. Patton Jr.

The apocalypse is coming, that's the one thing I like about George Bush, I really think he can get us into the ... apocalypse, like the BIBLICAL ... I really think he believes that he'll be the guy in the white hat. I think he's read the Stephen King novel The Stand a couple times, and he really thinks there's a dark man in the desert somewhere and he's gonna fight him or something. ~ Patton Oswalt

If you go into a battle, it's better to win the first time. ~ George S. Patton

Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you're not being a slave to your possessions. ~ Patton Oswalt

You must do your damdest and win. ~ George S. Patton

In case of doubt, push on just a little further and then keep on pushing. ~ George S. Patton

Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable. ~ George S. Patton

I wrote the script of Patton. I had this very bizarre opening where he stands up in front of an American flag and gives this speech. Ultimately, I was fired. When the script was done, they hired another writer and that script was forgotten. ~ Francis Ford Coppola

When you're shooting a TV show, there's not a lot of time to build character. ~ Candice Patton

We just wanna be the happy bums that we are. That's all. ~ Mike Patton

A man must know his destiny. ~ George S. Patton

Prisoner of War guard companies, or an equivalent organization, should be as far forward as possible in action to take over prisoners of war, because troops heated with battle are not safe custodians. Any attempt to rob or loot prisoners of war by escorts must be dealt strictly with. ~ George S. Patton

To grow is sometimes to hurt, but who would return to smallness? ~ Sarah-Patton Boyle

We had our family patterns and were quite comfortable in them, which made it even more shocking when, just after his eightieth birthday, Papa began bringing up his time as a prisoner of war in Germany.

Of course, I had always known that he had served in World War II and been captured, just like I had always know the stories about my grandmother and the build of their house. It's that peculiar type of family memory, where someone has obviously told you but you were too young to remember actually hearing it, so it seems like knowledge that was instilled at birth. Papa never brought it up, and my parents said they hadn't heard him mention it once in the previous fifty years. But suddenly, he was talking. ~ Jesse Cozean

Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes. ~ Patton Oswalt

Becoming a mother is the best thing that's happened to me. ~ Paula Patton

Remember praise is more valuable than blame. ~ George S. Patton

In 1950 a very large slice of the white South stood at the crossroads in its attitude toward its colored citizens and [was] psychologically capable of turning either way. ~ Sarah-Patton Boyle

Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things. ~ Patton Oswalt

Go forward until the last round is fired and the last drop of gas is expended ... then go forward on foot! ~ George S. Patton

No matter how you look, we all hurt the same, cry the same, and feel joy the same. ~ Paula Patton

We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. ~ Patton Oswalt

Knowing comedy is knowing human nature. ~ Patton Oswalt

Revenge is good. I think revenge is healthy too, and if you can use music in that way, a sort of therapeutic way for yourself, it can't do any harm. So if King (For A Day ... Fool For A Lifetime) is angry in any way, it's angry in a random, chaotic, healthy way. Like the guy who goes into a building, shoots a bunch of holes in the wall and then leaves. He didn't kill anybody. ~ Mike Patton

A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later. ~ George S. Patton

Everyone deserves to have their voice heard. ~ Candice Patton

I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports. ~ Patton Oswalt

Fixed fortifications are a monument to the stupidity of man. ~ George S. Patton

There is no such thing as luck, merely opportunity meeting preparedness. George S. Patton Jr. ~ George S. Patton

A leader is a man who can adapt principles to circumstances. ~ George S. Patton

I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me. ~ George S. Patton Jr.

I visited Surrey in the early fall of 1994, and I would return only if I was tasked to kill a demon to save the world. Maybe not even then. Sorry, Surrey. Sorry, world. Yay, hypothetical demon. ~ Patton Oswalt

evaluate if we've built what we envisioned at the quality level we hoped for and in the timeframe we planned. Do this in a team product review and reflection. ~ Jeff Patton

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians. ~ Patton Oswalt

If I could have three wishes, one would be to take an '88 and shove that barrel up Hitler's ass so that cocksucker can cry like the little god-damned girl he is. And hell, after that, I wouldn't need two more wishes. ~ George S. Patton

Lack of forgiveness gives others power over us. Withholding forgiveness simply allows another person to have control over our well-being. ~ Sue Patton Thoele

Empathy, the least comfortable of human emotions. ~ Frances Gray Patton

Your identity & life passion/purpose in the context of your beliefs determine your vision, your vision determines your mission, your mission determines your KRAs, your KRAs determine your goals, your goals determine your thoughts, and your thoughts determine your life!" ~ gfp '42© ~ Gary Patton

Sometimes my helpless blood runs numb and, if only for a second, I forget how frail bones can be. ~ Taylor Patton

Containment is a strategy for losers! But as General George S. Patton famously observed, Americans play to win all the time. Americans don't play to lose. ~ Bobby Jindal

Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash. ~ George S. Patton

I don't care how high my shrink increases my Lexapro dosage - I WANT TO BE A ROBOT THAT HELPS WOLVES HAVE SEX. Otherwise my parents threw away the money they spent on my college education. ~ Patton Oswalt

Let's shoot the works and win! Yes win it all. ~ George S. Patton

After all, eyes are the windows to the soul. But Renzo had a bit too much soul in his eye. ~ Ripley Patton

Plans must be simple and flexible ... They must be made by the people who execute them. ~ George S. Patton

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself. ~ Patton Oswalt

Does anyone act more like an overserious senior citizen with time running out on their chance for immortality than someone in their twenties? ~ Patton Oswalt

Never draw a gun on a man unless you intend to kill him. And believe me, if you do intend to kill him he will already know it. Then he will feel the cold breath of the tomb. ~ George S. Patton Jr.

He would have shaved the centaurs, dipped them in honey, covered them with feathers, and hung them up like a bunch of pinatas. I'm just saying. - Warren ~ Brandon Mull

The leader must be an actor. ~ George S. Patton

Battle ... brings out all that is best. ~ George S. Patton

And you'll walk in rolling your eyes and you'll walk out whistling sadly through your teeth because the fuel of the Nerd Mafia is disappointment and exclusion.
- On the Watchmen movie ~ Patton Oswalt

Somebody is going to find a way digitally that is just as innovative. In the end, the tools can change, but there is always someone who can think of something cool to do. ~ Patton Oswalt

How much does an elephant weigh? ~ Rhonda Patton

The highest obligation and privilege of citizenship is bearing arms. ~ George S. Patton

Your General Patton, he refused to arrest the SS because he said it would be silly to get rid of the most intelligent people in Germany. Instead, he packed the Bavarian Provincial Administration full of Nazis. ~ Ayelet Waldman

I love things where I can be physical and I so love high stakes, and you usually don't get that unless you're doing a play or an action movie. ~ Will Patton

Pace yourself in your work and commitments. Nobody is indispensable. And when you get sick, honor your body by giving it the rest and medical attention that it's asking for. ~ Sue Patton Thoele

Notoriously outspoken, his sentences always punctuated with profanities, General George S. Patton was the epitome of what a leader should be like - or so he thought. Patton believed a leader should look and act tough, so he cultivated his image and his personality to match his philosophy. ~ Simon Sinek

To me it seems certain that the fatalistic teachings of Muhammad and the utter degradation of women is the outstanding cause for the arrested development of the Arab. He is exactly as he was around the year 700, while we have kept on developing. ~ George S. Patton

To tell an adult exactly what steps to take towards his salvation was apt to weaken him. It deprived him of his inalienable right to trial and error which was tonic to the character. ~ Frances Gray Patton

Whether ideas like this are inspiration or insomnia, I don't know," he writes in his journal. "I do things by sixth sense." Patton ~ Bill O'Reilly

I think it always makes for great television when two characters actually take time to realize that they want to be with each other. You have to leave it to the writers to know what makes great television. ~ Candice Patton

I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood. ~ George S. Patton

She wants me to take out Patton."
Barron's brows draw together. "Take out? As in transform him?"
"No," I say. "As in take out to dinner. She thinks we'd make a good couple. ~ Holly Black

As the Battle of Normandy raged, the Germans held fast to the illusion, so carefully planted and now so meticulously sustained, that a great American army under Patton was preparing to pounce and the German forces in the Pas de Calais must remain in place to repel it. ~ Ben Macintyre

Malaria prevention and eradication should be inspired by General George Patton's advice: "A good plan executed violently today is better than a perfect plan in a week." In this war of attrition, millions of people will be lost while waiting on researchers to finally emerge triumphant from their labs with the perfect malaria cure; yet meanwhile, there are plenty of time-proven, practical actions that individuals, families and communities can do today with what is already in hand that can decisively defeat malaria transmission if applied with vigor and disciplined consistency. ~ T.K. Naliaka

War is very simple, direct, and ruthless. It takes a simple, direct, and ruthless man to wage war. ~ George S. Patton

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck. ~ Patton Oswalt

Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men ~ George S. Patton Jr.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing. ~ Patton Oswalt

My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either. ~ George S. Patton

I hope that in the final settlement of the war, you insist that the Germans retain Lorraine, because I can imagine no greater burden than to be the owner of this nasty country where it rains every day. ~ George S. Patton Jr.

Discipline can only be obtained when all the officers are imbued with the sense of their awful obligation to their men and to their country that they cannot tolerate negligence. Officers who fail to correct errors or to praise excellence are valueless in peace and dangerous misfits in war. ~ George S. Patton

It's nice getting to play a different version of yourself. You sign on for a show and think you're just going to play one character for however many years, so it's nice, for an actor, to have a little bit of fun. ~ Candice Patton

The approach was successful, and Patton did give us a detailed account of his forthcoming battle plans. He said we would first make a hole in the German lines, probably in the western or Lessay sector, and through this hole he would hurl his armor, fanning it out in two great spear-heads, one of which was to go west to Brest and cut off the Brittany peninsula; the other to go east and encircle the German Seventh Army. He said he would be ready to go within two weeks. ~ Mrs. Patton

Stan Slaughter is the thoroughbred of the environmental educators I've hired. Second place is not even close. ~ Mike Patton

I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form. ~ Patton Oswalt

An incessant change of means to attain unalterable ends is always going on; we must take care not to let these sundry means undo eminence in the perspective of our minds; for, since the beginning, there has been an unending cycle of them, and for each its advocates have claimed adoption as the sole solution of successful war. ~ George S. Patton

Making African American films are hard in Hollywood. We need to rely on a support network and bring more cohesion to different filmmakers, actors, producers etc. It's a very difficult business. There aren't a lot of Africans Americans or people of color in high positions in Hollywood that we can green-light films. ~ Paula Patton

The best way to defend is to attack and the best way to attack is to attack. At Chancellorsville, Lee was asked why he attacked when he was outnumbered three to one. He said he was too weak to defend. - GEORGE PATTON ~ Jeff Shaara

My dad was nothing but a bingo call. ~ Ripley Patton

We were surprised, shocked really, to discover the type of leadership required for turning a good company into a great one. Compared to high-profile leaders with big personalities who make headlines and become celebrities, the good-to-great leaders seem to have come from Mars. Self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shy - these leaders are a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will. They are more like Lincoln and Socrates than Patton or Caesar. ~ Jim Collins

Be A DBF! (dog's best friend) ~ Michele Patton

For over a thousand years Roman conquerors returning from the wars enjoyed the honor of triumph, a tumultuous parade. In the procession came trumpeteers, musicians and strange animals from conquered territories, together with carts laden with treasure and captured armaments. The conquerors rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed prisoners walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children robed in white stood with him in the chariot or rode the trace horses. A slave stood behind the conqueror holding a golden crown and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting. ~ George S. Patton Jr.

If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple theaters Friday, Saturday, maybe Sunday, come home. ~ Patton Oswalt

Urge all of your men to pray, not alone in church, but everywhere. Pray when driving. Pray when fighting. Pray alone. Pray with others. Pray by night and pray by day. Pray for the cessation of immoderate rains, for good weather for Battle.Pray for the defeat of our wicked enemy whose banner is injustice and whose good is oppression. Pray for victory. Pray for our Army, and Pray for Peace. We must march together, all out for God. ~ George S. Patton