Paolillo Golf Quotes

I think O.J. protests too much. Not only did he say he didn't carve the holiday turkey, but he was in the back yard practicing his golf swing the whole time. ~ David Letterman

I fished a little while ago with a man, not in his first youth, who had wasted the flower of his life on business and golf and gardening and motoring and marriage, and had in this way postponed his initiation (to fly fishing) far too long. ~ Arthur Ransome

I see a lot of actors for whom life becomes one big schedule. I guess I try to be more sensitive to my private life - to take a breath of fresh air and be in the countryside or on a golf course. ~ Gerard Butler

That putt had more breaks than a government job. ~ Brian Weiss

I like travelers, but I don't like tourists. The difference is that travelers don't shop and they don't play golf. ~ Tom Robbins

President Clinton and President Obama played a round of golf over the weekend. President Clinton asked Obama what his handicap was, and Obama said, 'Joe Biden.' ~ Jay Leno

He suggested I play golf, but finally agreed to give me something that, he said, "would really work"; and going to a cabinet, he produced a vial of violet-blue capsules banded with dark purple at one end, which, he said, had just been placed on the market and were intended not for neurotics whom a draft of water could calm if properly administered, but only for great sleepless artists who had to die for a few hours in order to live for centuries. ~ Vladimir Nabokov

Forty minutes later, my hatred for field hockey was in full bloom, courtesy of Nikki. Whoever thought it was a good idea to combine Tag with wooden golf clubs and a rodent-size ball should be beaten senseless. ~ K.R. Conway

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett

I've gotten rid of the yips four times but they hang in there. You know those two-foot downhill putts with a break? I'd rather see a rattlesnake. ~ Sam Snead

I don't apologize for my clothes. There are a lot of bad dressers in golf, and I don't think I'm one of them. There are a lot of bad dressers in every business. ~ Sergio Garcia

Marathon running, like golf, is a game for players, not winners. That is why Callaway sells golf clubs and Nike sells running shoes. But running is unique in that the world's best racers are on the same course, at the same time, as amateurs, who have as much chance of winning as your average weekend warrior would scoring a touchdown in the NFL. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Of course, to my utter mortification, he looked amused. I half-expected him to start golf clapping.
Ooh, epic bitch fit! I give it five stars. Haven't seen one that good in forever, and I live in a town full of queens, so that's saying something. Now, if you've got that out of your system, sit your ass down and let's talk. ~ Amelia C. Gormley

A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf? ~ David Letterman

Maintain a childhood enthusiasm for the game of golf. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

At my first Masters, I got the feeling, that if I didn't play well, I wouldn't go to heaven. ~ Dave Marr

Well, I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade. ~ Bobby Jones

I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it. ~ Mac Davis

To find a man's true character, play golf with him. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

Everybody has two swings-a beautiful practice swing and the choked-up one with with which they hit the ball. So it wouldn't do either of us a damned bit of good to look at your practice swing. ~ Ed Furgol

Few would deny that blacks have become very dominant in athletics: football, basketball, track, now dominant in tennis and dominant in golf. ~ Jesse Jackson

Atrazine - a herbicide often used on corn fields, golf courses and even lawns - has become one of the most common contaminants in American drinking water. ~ Charles Duhigg

As every golfer knows, no one ever lost his mind over one shot. It is rather the gradual process of shot after shot watching your score go to tatters - knowing that you have found a different way to bogey each hole. ~ Thomas Boswell

Being a Scotsman, I am naturally opposed to water in its undiluted state. ~ Alastair Mackenzie

Follow through: The part of the swing that takes place after the ball has been hit, but before the club has been thrown. ~ Henry Beard

Playing on the PGA Tour and playing professional golf, I think it's what everyone has dreamed of doing - all the guys who are out here. I'm just happy to be able to call this a job, if you want to call it a job. ~ Rickie Fowler

I've learned a lot about my game every time I play golf in a men's event. ~ Annika Sorenstam

I think that (Alister) MacKenzie and I managed to work as a completely sympathetic team. Of course there was never any question that he was the architect and I was the advisor and consultant. No man learns to design a golf course simply by playing golf, no matter how well. But it happened that both of us were extravagant admirers of the Old Course at St Andrews and we both desired as much as possible to simulate seaside conditions insofar as the differences in turf and terrain would allow. ~ Bobby Jones

The most important shot in golf is the next one. ~ Ben Hogan

The terrible beauty is that in the brotherhood of golf we are all the same - certifiable. ~ Sean Connery

Golf is not a fair game, so why build a course fair? ~ Pete Dye

I don't play golf competitively. I tell everybody that I cheat so they won't gamble with me. That's why you can't watch football. Everybody's gambling. They don't want to watch the game; they watch the spread. ~ Jack Nicholson

What did I want with prestige? The British Open paid the winner $600 in American money. A man would have to be two hundred years old at that rate to retire from golf. ~ Sam Snead

If you have ever seen a dragon in a pinch, you will realize that this was only poetical exaggeration applied to any hobbit, even to Old Took's great-granduncle Bullroarer, who was so huge (for a hobbit) that he could ride a horse. He charged the ranks of the goblins of Mount Gram in the Battle of the Green Fields, and knocked their king Golfibul's head clean off with a wooden club. It sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit-hole, and in this way the battle was won and the game of Golf was invented at the same moment. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien