No Duh Quotes

Cimil's eyes lit. "The Niccolo DiConti? What an honor!" Niccolo stood a little taller then. "Yes, I seek your assistance." Cimil rolled her eyes. "Well, no duh. You didn't abandon your queen's side, risking her wrath, to see me in my fabulous birthday suit. ~ Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Tara. I'm a vampire," Pearl said.
"Yeah, whatever, and I'm queen of the sea."
"Your Marine Majesty, I'm a vampire," Pearl said.
Concentrating, she slid her fangs out. "Tara. Tara!" She curled back her lips to expose the points. "See"
Tara screamed.
"I won't hurt you," Pearl said. Calm down. Sheesh."
Tara continued to scream.
Pearl considered biting her merely to shut her up. Regrettably that would be counter productive. Studying her nails, she waited for Tara to quit screaming. She noticed that Tara didn't try to exit the car, which was an interesting choice.
"You aren't running away," Pearl said.
"Duh, it's raining outside," Tara said. ~ Sarah Beth Durst

My town was all-white and shut down Section 8 housing because they didn't want black people to move into the town. And I thought that was wrong - duh. ~ Cecily McMillan

If toting the standard equipment is not what male or female, exactly what does?
well, duh, its barrettes.
At least thats what kids think it is your clothing, hairstyle, toy choice, favorite color.
Slippery stuff, that. You can see how perilously easy would be to err ~ Peggy Orenstein

Sometimes you really want to say "Duh," but you can't. It's a part of growing up, I guess. ~ Adam Rex

I'm just trying to do the right thing. I'm a vampire."
"Duh."
"And you're not."
"Again: duh."
"I could hurt you. I could lose control."
"If you were anyone else, I'd have kneecapped you by now. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

I have an allergy to catching and throwing and kicking and dribbling of any kind. Noah is not a team player. Well, duh. Revolutionaries aren't team players. ~ Jandy Nelson

We crossed one of the subterranean rivers, then wound our wag through the library quarter and the Chamber of Birds.
(Carter says I should tell you why it's called that. It's a cave full of all sorts of birds. Again
duh. [Carter, why are you banging your head against the table?]) ~ Rick Riordan

Richie saw the empty street where nothing moved and suddenly burst into tears. Bill looked at him for a moment and then put his arms around Richie and hugged him. Richie clutched at Bill's neck and hugged him back. He wanted to say something clever, something about how Bill should have tried the Bullseye on the Werewolf, but nothing would come out. Nothing except sobs. "D-Don't, R-Richie," Bill said, "duh-duh-duh-h-h - " Then he burst into tears himself and they only hugged each other on their knees in the street beside Bill's spilled bike, and their tears made clean streaks down their cheeks, which were sooted with coaldust. ~ Stephen King

Olive finished the doughnut, wiped the sugar from her fingers, sat back and said, "You're starving."
The girl didn't move, only said, "Uh-duh."
"I'm starving too," Olive said. The girl looked over at her. "I am," Olive said. "Why do you think I eat every doughnut in sight?"
"You're not starving," Nina said in disgust.
"Sure I am. We all are. ~ Elizabeth Strout

How did you come by this information? he asked.

I attended the Blood Council meeting, I replied.

There are vampires here?

Duh.

I'll take that as a yes.

A good supposition, I agreed. ~ Connie Suttle

I know all the new phrases: 'cowabunga,' 'radical,' cat's pajamas,' 'duh,' and 'hey, homie don't play that. ~ Si Robertson

We're [Ocean Conservancy group] trying to convince people it's a bad idea to catch fish faster than they can reproduce. That should be a duh, but it's still going on. ~ Mark Powell

Mike's booming voice was downstairs. He was on the phone, as usual.
"M-m-m-my sister is gettin' married," I heard him announce to the person on the other end of the line. "And I am gonna s-s-s-sing at duh reception."
A long pause followed. I braced myself.
"Oh, p-p-p-prolly 'Elvira,'" Mike said.
Perfect, I thought, pulling myself out of bed. Mike singing "Elvira" at my reception. As if my scaly chin wasn't enough, I needed one more thought to terrorize me for the rest of my wedding way. ~ Ree Drummond

I was having tea with a guy I was introduced to, about the possibility of working with him at his production company. He asked me if I'd written anything, and I said yes. Then he said 'why don't you just shoot it'? And I thought, "duh!" Best advice I ever got. ~ Chika Anadu

The only freedom you truly have is in your mind, so use it. ~ M.T. Dismuke

Cat's friends seemed like very sweet girls," Dad says.
"They were the bomb," I say fervently, and he looks back at me with raised eyebrows.
"'The bomb' is a good thing? Like 'sick'?
"Duh," I reply, and Dad lets out a sigh.
"Thirteen-year-olds should come with subtitles," he says, turning onto our street. ~ Maya Gold

My mom is all about risk vs. reward. So for example, if I were to go out on a date and have unprotected sex, the risk/reward would be possible STD for me vs. possible grandchild for her. Duh! Bring on the grandchildren! ~ Jarod Kintz

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. ~ Jay Leno

I said, Of course I'm full of questions, how can I find out the truth about stuff if I do't ask questions, DUH!" -Alex ~ Jack Cheng

Myth: A stake through the heart will kill a vampire.
Truth: Well, duh. It would kill anyone. ~ Kimberly Pauley

TimeTrap raised her head and looked pointedly at St. John. It was a dimensional portal, silly. Duh. ~ J.T. Bock

Cracking his knuckles, Cary dramatically prepared to open his fortune cookie. "Let's see. Will I be rich? Famous? About to
meet Mr. or Ms. Tall, Dark, and Tasty? Traveling to distant lands? What'd you guys get?"
"Mine's lame," I said. "In the end all things will be known. Duh. I didn't need a fortune to figure that out."
Gideon opened his and read, "Prosperity will knock on your door soon."
I snorted.
Cary shot me a look. "I know, right? You snatched someone else's cookie, Cross."
"He better not be anywhere near someone else's cookie," I said dryly.
Reaching over, Gideon plucked half of mine out of my fingers. "Don't worry, angel. Your cookie is the only one I want."
He popped it in his mouth with a wink.
"Gag," Cary muttered. "Get a room." He cracked his fortune with a flourish, and then scowled. "What the fuck?"
I leaned forward. "What's it say?"
"Confucius say," Gideon ad-libbed, "man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day."
Cary threw half his cookie at Gideon, who caught it deftly and grinned.
"Give me that." I snatched the fortune out from between Cary's fingers and read it. Then laughed.
"Fuck you, Eva."
"Well?" Gideon prodded.
"Pick another cookie."
Gideon smiled. "Pwned by a fortune."
Cary threw the other half of his cookie. ~ Sylvia Day

He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two." My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex?" "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen." I gaped at her. ~ Gena Showalter

Facinating." He broke into a wide grin. "I've discovered something, Khufu. This is not Memphis, Egypt."
Khufu gave me a sideways look, and I could swear his expression meant, Duh.
"I've also discovered a new form of magic called blues music," the man continued. "And barbecue. Yes, you must try barbecue. ~ Rick Riordan

emmersmacks: E youre going to be around for the Dog Days livewatch right

MirkerLurker: Duh. The day I miss Dog Days is the day I eat my own foot.

Apocalypse_Cow: *takes screenshot*

Apocalypse_Cow: let it be known on this day that if eliza ever misses dog days, she will eat her own foot.

emmersmacks: Masterminds would love that one

emmersmacks: Creator of Monstrous Sea eats own foot over teen soap opera

Apocalypse_Cow: tacky teen soap opera.

MirkerLurker: Tacky teen soap opera? Yes. Wildly entertaining? Also yes.

emmersmacks: Amen

...

Apocalypse_Cow: but seriously tho, dog days is the worst

emmersmacks: Not worse than the second season when Chris got with Ben

Apocalypse_Cow: chris got with jason in the second season, not ben

emmersmacks: Says the guy who doesnt watch Dog Days

Apocalypse_Cow: . . .

emmersmacks: Ah how the mighty have fallen ~ Francesca Zappia

I stand humbled on bended knee but, of course, the response to that would be 'Duh!' And to be given that incredible honor means that I represent the piss and vinegar, the energy, the defiance, the musicality of the Funk Brothers and Motown and Mitch Ryder and Bob Seger, Brownsville Station and Grand Funk Railroad and Eminem and Jack White and Kid Rock - are you kidding me? ~ Ted Nugent

Tohr jacked forward his in his seat. "What the hell!"
As Lassiter's big body cut through the projection onto the screen, a gigantic pair of flapping breasts covered his face and chest. "Adventures in the Milfy Way. A true classic."
"It's porn!"
"Duh
"
"Okay, I am not sitting through this with you"
The angel, still standing up. shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you know what you're missing. ~ J.R. Ward

The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler
from France. ~ Jay Leno

There are four cheeses! It's a 'Quattro Formaggi' Pizza!"
"A 'Four-Cheese' Pizza? Well, duh. That's a standard pizza topping, even in Italy. There's nothing special or even unusual about that! So why the big reaction?!"
"Because the four cheeses were blended together and balanced with absolute perfection!
The deliciousness of most cheeses is rooted in their mellow richness and sharp saltiness. With those flavors as his baseline... he took four cheeses and balanced them so that their quirks and strengths play off each other brilliantly! That sharp, salty battle is a stark contrast to the thick sweetness of the shigureni beef- the gap between them creating a full-bodied and indescribably delicious flavor!
Then there's the texture contrast of the gooey cheese and the crisply fragrant crust..."
"And you can't forget the tingly bite of the black pepper sprinkled across the top. What a marvelous accent! All the various flavors blossom to their full potential inside the mouth, each making the salty cheese stand out more and more..."
We came out of the blocks with the bitterness of the artichokes...
then we jumped to the cynarine-boosted sweetness of the shigureni beef...
... and ended with a leap to a salty Quattro Formaggi Blend! ~ Yuto Tsukuda

Without ever exactly putting his mind to it, he's come to believe that loss is the standard trajectory. Something new appears in the world-a baby, say, or a car or a house, or an individual shows some special talent-with luck and huge expenditures of soul and effort you might keep the project stoked for a while, but eventually, ultimately, its going down. This is a truth so brutally self-evident that he can't fathom why it's not more widely percieved, hence his contempt for the usual public shock and outrage when a particular situation goes to hell. The war is fucked? Well, duh. Nine-eleven? Slow train coming. They hate our freedoms? Yo, they hate our actual guts! Billy suspects his fellow Americans secretly know better, but something in the land is stuck on teenage drama, on extravagant theatrics of ravaged innocence and soothing mud wallows of self-justifying pity. ~ Ben Fountain

How did you get hired?" "I checked the box on the application that said "descendant" by mistake. I'm dyslexic and I thought it said something else."
"Okay," I said, thinking that was the worst employment application mistake ever. "And they all believe him to be the true ruler of Fallen?"
"All the Mei-Bettys do. They're, like, obsessed with it. It's a little like restaurant-of-the-body-snatchers, you know?"
"Then why do you work there?" I asked. "Clearly, you figured out something was wrong with them."
"Duh, but it pays well and they provide room and board. I sorta needed the job and a place to stay. It's got free wifi," she said, as if that explained everything. ~ H.D. Smith

I'm just having a bad day, that's all." "It seems like every day's a bad day with you." Shut up! Shut up! "It's leaf-bare," Sunfall began. Duh! ~ Erin Hunter

I hate the attitude of, 'oh we already have a Lydia Lunch, so we do we need a Bikini Kill.' Well, there's like 2 hundered million all-male bands writting 'baby baby I love you, let me drag you around on my ankle.' Is that enough already? Duh! ~ Kathleen Hanna

What are you? (Nick)
Completely perplexed. You remember everything that happened. (Acheron)
Yeah. Duh. Not like you're going to forget the killer zombie stalkers and psyched-out kitchen staff. What kind of freak show is this? (Nick) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Kill first and then say, Gosh, were you actually good? My duh! ~ Kresley Cole

Duh, Winning!!!!


(hhahaha) ~ Charlie Sheen

You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."
Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"
Y-yes, Mr. D."
Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"
You're a god."
Yes, child."
A god. You. ~ Rick Riordan

While I was deep in my fantasy, in yet another episode of perfect timing, Marlboro Man called from the road.
"Hey," he said, the mid-1990s spotty cell phone service only emphasizing the raspy charm of his voice.
"Oh! Just the person I want to talk to," I said, grabbing paper and a pen. "I have a question for you--"
"I bought your wedding present today," Marlboro Man interrupted.
"Huh?" I said, caught off guard. "Wedding present?" For someone steeped in the proper way of doing things, I was ashamed that a wedding gift for Marlboro Man had never crossed my mind.
"Yep," he said. "And you need to hurry up and marry me so I can give it to you."
I giggled. "So…what is it?" I asked. I couldn't even imagine. I hoped it wasn't a tennis bracelet.
"You have to marry me to find out," he answered.
Yikes. What was it? Wasn't the wedding ring itself supposed to be the present? That's what I'd been banking on. What would I ever get him? Cuff links? An Italian leather briefcase? A Montblanc pen? What do you give a man who rides a horse to work every day?
"So, woman," Marlboro Man said, changing the subject, "what did you want to ask me?"
"Oh!" I said, focusing my thoughts back to the reception. "Okay, I need you to name your absolute favorite foods in the entire world."
He paused. "Why?"
"I'm just taking a survey," I answered.
"Hmmm…" He thought for a minute. "Probably steak."
Duh. "Well, besides steak," I said.
"Steak ~ Ree Drummond

When the game ended, Mike laid down his control paddle. "So you've met the Nordic goddess, right?"
Aria glanced up at him warily. "Excuse me?"
Mike rolled his eyes. "Duh. Klaudia, which I'm pretty sure is Scandinavian for sex vixen. ~ Sara Shepard

Love, he realized, was like the daggers he made in his forge: When you first got one it was shiny and new and the blade glinted bright in the light. Holding it against your palm, you were full of optimism for what it would be like in the field, and you couldn't wait to try it out. Except those first couple of nights out were usually awkward as you got used to it and it got used to you.

Over time, the steel lost its brand-new gleam, and the hilt became stained, and maybe you nicked the shit out of the thing a couple of times. What you got in return, however, saved your life: Once the pair of you were well acquainted, it became such a part of you that it was an extension of your own arm. It protected you and gave you a means to protect your brothers; it provided you with the confidnece and the power to face whatever came out of the night; and wherever you went, it stayed with you, right over your heart, always there when you needed it.

You had to keep the blade up, however. And rewrap the hilt from time to time. And double-check the weight.

Funny...all of that was well, duh when it came to weapons. Why hadn't it dawned on him that matings were the same?

(From the thoughts of Vishous) ~ J.R. Ward

Gavin, come on. Mommy doesn't feel good," I complained.
He stopped bouncing and leaned forward to sprawl his body out on top of me, putting his face right up to mine.
"Do you want me ta' beat up your friends, Mommy?" he whispered conspiratorially.
I removed my hands from my head and opened my eyes to look at him.
"What are you talking about, Gav?"
He brought his hands up and put them on my chest, resting his chin on top.
"Your friends, Mommy. The ones who maded you sick," he said in a voice that clearly screamed, "Duh. ~ Tara Sivec

Don't duh me!" Puck snapped. "Trying to figure out what you're thinking from one day to the next takes more brains than I have."
Well, maybe you should stop. I'd hate to burn out that little peanut in your head. ~ Michael Buckley

I think you need to water your plants," Garrett [Swopes, PI]called out to me [Charley Davidson, Grim Reaper and PI].
"Oh, they're fake." He was looking at the plants I had along my windowsill. Either that or my mold problem was getting out of hand. After a long pause I heard, "Those are fake?"
"Yeah, I had to make them look real. A little spray paint, a little lighter fluid, and voila! Fake dying plants."
"Why would you want fake dying plants?" he asked.
"Because if they were all thick and healthy-looking, anyone who knows me would realise they were fake."
"Yeah, but is that really the point?"
"Duh. ~ Darynda Jones

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong. ~ Molly Ivins

You think food, dancing, and sex is the answer to everything.
Everything worth anything, duh! ~ Nancy Gideon