Moran Quotes

Big companies are often in the process of laying off workers. Small startup companies are the ones that are hiring. The statistics prove that's where job growth is going to occur. ~ Jerry Moran

Whenever you need to win a situation - talk about jazz, Johanna. It confuses people. ~ Caitlin Moran

Summer-damn-Quinn saw the world as if it was a painting waiting to be created. I only saw her. ~ Kelly Moran

Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't. ~ Dylan Moran

There are some women out there who are just going to look better with a mustache: that's statistics. ~ Caitlin Moran

After all, everyone is bisexual after 11pm. ~ Caitlin Moran

You'll get younger not from what you read but from what you apply in your life. (192) ~ Victoria Moran

She needed to come with an instructional manual. And one not written in Spanish. ~ Kelly Moran

I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else. ~ Dylan Moran

I feel in my bones that Lady Gaga is a true strident feminist and good for my soul - but how do I square this with the fact that she's constantly walking around in her bra and pants, even at, like, airports and stuff, where even nudists wear a fleece and linen drawstring trousers? ~ Caitlin Moran

I can't get involved in all the murders you need to commit to get this shit out of your system. ~ Dylan Moran

Of course, in the end, when Mapplethorpe turned out to be very gay, Smith was left with no other option than to go off and write Horses and grow the world's most influential lady mustache instead. Her hand was forced into productivity. ~ Caitlin Moran

I'm very drawn to Eastern Europe, so I like a Hungarian writer who wrote in French called Emil Cioran; he was always good for giving me such a stir. ~ Dylan Moran

Politics will always mean more to the poor. Always. That's why we strike and march, and despair when our young say they won't vote. That's why the poor are seen as more vital, and animalistic. No classical music for us - no walking around National Trust properties or buying reclaimed flooring. We don't have nostalgia. We don't do yesterday. We can't bear it. We don't want to be reminded of our past, because it was awful: dying in mines and slums without literacy or the vote. Without dignity. It was all so desperate then. That's why the present and the future is for the poor - that's the place in time for us: surviving now, hoping for better later. We live now - for our own instant hot, fast treats, to pep us up: sugar, a cigarette, a new fast song on the radio. ~ Caitlin Moran

For those of us with introverted tendencies, many think that hard work and good results is what matters most. It would be great if that were the case, but it's wrong to believe that to be true. Superb performance on the job is important, but if you don't have a supportive network, you're in for some big disappointments. We speak to people continuously who suffer from the missing component of good networking in their career path. Those people find that their missed opportunities or promotions are demoralizing and certainly frustrating. ~ Dorothy Tannahill-Moran

The thinking that says, 'I will start building my ideal future tomorrow, or next week, or next month,' is fatally flawed. The future you are going to live is the one you are creating right now at this very moment. ~ Brian P. Moran

... she is in the girl Matrix trying to catch invisible slow mo bullets those of us outside the Matrix can't see. You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing is happening. When a woman finds the right person, on the other hand, they just disappear for six months and then they resurface, eyes shiny and usually about six pounds heavier. ~ Caitlin Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. ~ Dylan Moran

Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it. ~ Caitlin Moran

There are natural and imprescriptible rights which an entire nation has no right to violate. - MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE ~ Michelle Moran

Her sudden grin depleted some of his brain cells. She was evil like that. ~ Kelly Moran

The undeniable feeling that, as you castigate a troll, he's rubbing his Red Dwarf mouse pad against his crotch and sighing, Angry liberal women typing at me. Oh yah. That's how I like it. ~ Caitlin Moran

Arjun: ...the men are talking because you're beautiful.
Sita: ...I would much rather they talk about me because I'm skilled. ~ Michelle Moran

And yet, despite the multiplicity of times we've done it, it is still a funny, exultant, true thing - where for a short time you turn into something else and fly; where you stop fretting and wanting, and are simply alight with joy - and all while never venturing beyond the walls of your room. And I would put our continued success down to one simple thing. At the end of every tumbling session, one of us will turn to the other and say, "Thank you very much. That was very pleasant. Very pleasant indeed. My dear, I am much obliged to you."
Because at the end of the day, that is the hottest sex tip of all: gratitude. That you've found someone who wants to do that thing, with you, and no government has yet found a way to charge you VAT on it. You can set fire to the sky, and not be charged a penny.
Sometimes, it's great being a human. ~ Caitlin Moran

I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef. ~ Dylan Moran

I understand that you are still grieving. But we will always be grieving. ~ Michelle Moran

Your mind is the projection screen every writer steals; it is the firing of your neurones that makes every book come alive. You are the electricity that turns it on. A book cannot live until the touch of your hand on the first page brings it alive. A writer is essentially typing blank pages – shouting out spells in the dark – until the words are read by you, and the magic explodes into your head, and no one else's. ~ Caitlin Moran

When the subject turns to abortion, cosmetic intervention, birth, motherhood, sex, love, work, misogyny, fear, or just how you feel in your own skin, women still won't often tell the truth to each other unless they are very, very drunk. Perhaps the endlessly reported rise in female binge-drinking is simply modern women's attempt to communicate with each other. Or maybe it is because Sancerre is so very delicious. To be honest, I'll take bets on either. ~ Caitlin Moran

We were all wondering - could you stop the maracas ~ Caitlin Moran

Because I am well read, I know what a terrible cliche it is to shout, "I *hate* you. I never *asked* to be born," so I refrain. ~ Caitlin Moran

Before Watergate and Viet Nam, the American public, as a whole, believed everything it was told, and since then it doesn't believe anything, and both of those extremes hurt us because they prevent us from recognizing the truth. ~ Daniel Keys Moran

It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator. ~ Dylan Moran

This is what happens, when it feels like the weight of the world is crushing right down on you. Your fear it's going to change you forever. And you're right. It is. It's going to turn you into something that's both beautiful, and the most indestructible thing on the planet. ~ Caitlin Moran

Twitter means all my friends are in my computer. All my ideas are in my computer. I can do whatever I want in there; I'm kind of ... bionic. ~ Caitlin Moran

I'm going to say 'Amen' now. This is a deal now. We are square on this. You will sort this out. Violet will not rat on us. Amen. ~ Caitlin Moran

Ladies, we are at a massive disadvantage in the workplace. Your male peers are flirting with their male bosses constantly. The average workplace is like f*cking Bromancing the Stone. That's basically what male bonding is. Flirting. They're flirting with each other playing golf, they're flirting with each other going to the football, they're flirting with each other chatting at the urinals – and, sadly, flirting with each other in after-hours visits to strip clubs and pubs. They are bonding with each other over their biological similarities. If the only way you can bond with them is over your biological differences, you go for it. Feel pressurised to actually f*ck them if you do? Then don't flirt. Find it an easy way to just crack on? Then crack on – and don't blame other women for doing it. ~ Caitlin Moran

Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time. ~ Dylan Moran

When Bowie yelps that he could do better than that, I hear another young person stuck somewhere, looking out of the window and imagining how much better they would invent the world, if they were just given the chance to lay their hands on the machinery. If they could just bust into the engine room for twenty-four hours with a toolbox. ~ Caitlin Moran

Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk - it's a talk-off ~ Dylan Moran

If you eat enough books, you start pooping out words. ~ Caitlin Moran

The people around you are mirrors, I think.
You see yourself reflected in their eyes. If the mirror is true, and smooth, you see your true self. That's how you learn who you are. ~ Caitlin Moran

She held my face in her hands as if I was the treasure. ~ Kelly Moran

Vegetarian is like raising a kid Mennonite. It's difficult but not that different. Raising your kid vegan is like being Amish. A totally different world. ~ Victoria Moran

You're not going to learn anything if you're not prepared to go flat, so I'm very happy to go flat. ~ Dylan Moran

it's hard to remember that the outside and the inside of people are two very different things. ~ Eleanor Moran

I'd tell you not to swoon, but he'd catch you, so never mind. ~ Kelly Moran

He needed a stiff drink. With a side of straightjacket. ~ Kelly Moran

I see feminism as a massive party. It's cool, the idea that 50% of the population can now start doing things and having fun and experimenting with their hair and makeup. ~ Caitlin Moran

When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office. ~ Dylan Moran

People will kill you. Over time. They will shave out every last morsel of fun in you with little, harmless sounding phrases that people uses every day, like: 'Be realistic!'
[What It Is (2009)] ~ Dylan Moran

I am an urban vegan. I love the glossy pages of 'Vogue,' even though I won't purchase the leather shoes and bags I see there, and being reminded that the fur trade even exists breaks my heart. ~ Victoria Moran

I genuinely miss writing now on the rare days I don't write; my mouth waters when I think about writing, and I have an extreme physical reaction to the idea of doing it. ~ Caitlin Moran

Downsiders," said the clown, "never look up. ~ Daniel Keys Moran

Royal jelly is the substance that worker bees produce and feed to the queen bee. Because the queen bee is the only bee that is fertile within the colony, laying around 2000 eggs per day, this substance is considered to help promote fertility in humans as well. ~ Sally Moran

I cannot understand anti-abortion arguments that centre on the sanctity of life. As a species we've fairly comprehensively demonstrated that we don't believe in the sanctity of life. The shrugging acceptance of war, famine, epidemic, pain and life-long poverty shows us that, whatever we tell ourselves, we've made only the most feeble of efforts to really treat human life as sacred. ~ Caitlin Moran

America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in. ~ Dylan Moran

This summer had been about finding herself, and learning to accept love in its various forms
and to give love. - Quinn Reynolds ~ Molli Moran

You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing; it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is. ~ Dylan Moran

Music's a powerful thing. A song can change your mood. Make a memory. One song can change your whole life. ~ Kent Moran

It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra ra ra' in front of people. ~ Dylan Moran

And of course, the deepest irony about the young being cynical is that they are the ones that need to move, and dance, and trust the most. ~ Caitlin Moran

Even in her casual white shirt and cotton pants, she was clearly an independent woman in charge of her destiny. She was so ... He paused, searching for words. So sophisticated, so self-assured. ~ Jan Moran

Poor people can write. It's one of the few things poverty, and lack ~ Caitlin Moran

I was very into New Order, Joy Division, all of that when I was younger. I had a lot of bootlegs that I saved up my pocket money to buy. I had all the obscure early EPs. ~ Dylan Moran

It's technically impossible for a woman to argue against feminism. Without feminism you wouldn't be allowed to have a debate on a woman's place in society. You'd be too busy giving birth on the kitchen floor
biting down on a wooden spoon, so as not to disturb the men's card game
before going back to hoeing the rutabaga field. ~ Caitlin Moran

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it. ~ Dylan Moran

I suppose I am one: an activist - for animals and a vegan lifestyle. I hear that word, however, and look around to see if someone is indeed referring to me. ~ Victoria Moran

America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of. ~ Dylan Moran

There are some things that money can't buy: peace of mind, for starters, and lean muscle mass. Neither the Queen of England nor the founder of Microsoft can put in an order for either one. ~ Victoria Moran

Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house. ~ Dylan Moran

Their lives are the same for generations. There is no social upheaval that will really affect them. If you're comfortably middle-class, what's the worst a government policy could do? Ever? Tax you at 90 percent and leave your bins unemptied on the pavement. But you and everyone you know will continue to drink wine-- but maybe cheaper-- go on holiday-- but somewhere nearer-- and pay off your mortgage--although maybe later. ~ Caitlin Moran

I've generally got low levels of embarrassment. ~ Caitlin Moran

'Make your plate look like a Christmas tree,' I tell people, 'mostly green with splashes of other bright colors.' ~ Victoria Moran

When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark ... for hours ... and don't move ... I'm locking the door now.' ~ Dylan Moran

At least that left hope for him. Except "Beauty and the Geek" wasn't exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale. ~ Kelly Moran

When I talk to girls, they go, 'I'm not a feminist.' And I say: 'What? You don't want to vote? Do you want to be owned by your husband? Do you want your money from your job to go into his bank account? If you were raped, do you still want that to be a crime? Congratulations : you are a feminist.' ~ Caitlin Moran

I don't need to critique things, or have an opinion, or pose, with John - we just go around being alive, and pointing at things. We're just, simply, in the world. It had never occurred to me what a wonderful thing this was. Or perhaps it did, a long time ago - but I had forgotten. I am full of how great life is. I am so happy to be alive. That point of life is joy - to make it, to receive it. That the Earth is a treasure box of people and places and song, and that every day you can plunge your arms in and find a new, ridiculous, perfect delight. ~ Caitlin Moran

First world babies are eating this planet like termites. ~ Caitlin Moran

You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself. ~ Dylan Moran

I have thought about Happy Days made into a movie. As far as the original cast not being a part of it, wow, I don't know who could be who! I just don't see it going in that direction. I can see the original cast doing the movie very easily though. ~ Erin Moran

Behind every impossible achievement is a dreamer of impossible dreams." - Robert K. Greenleaf ~ Brian P. Moran

It was the 'Are the boys doing it?' basis on which I finally decided I was against women wearing burkas. Yes, the idea is that it protects your modesty, and ensures that people regard you as a human being, rather than just a sexual object (...) But who are you being protected from? Men. And who - so long as you play by the rules, and wear the correct clothes - is protecting you from the men? Men. And who is it that is regarding you as a sexual object, instead of another human being, in the first place? Men.
Well. This all seems like quite a man-based problem, really. (...) I don't know why we're suddenly having to put things on our heads to make it better. ~ Caitlin Moran

To me, love was something a person gave up a piece of themselves for and never walked away from. ~ Kelly Moran

...political correctness is ... not about tolerance; it's about "toe the party line or it's the gulag for you, Comrade." - Solbury Tor ~ C.J. Moran

What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something that occurred to me ... there's something wrong with me', is in fact stuff that is universal. ~ Dylan Moran

One shouldn't live in the past, Parker. You'll smack into something in the present looking backward and not get a clear view of your future. Trust me. ~ Kelly Moran

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. ~ Dylan Moran

Because there's a silent, shrugging, stoical acceptance of all the things in the world we can never be part of: shorts, swimming pools, strappy dresses, country walks, roller-skating, ra-ra skirts, vest tops, high heels, rope climbing, sitting on a high stool, walking past building sites, flirting, being kissed, feeling confident. And ever losing weight, ever. The idea of suggesting we don't have to be fat –that things could change –is the most distant and alien prospect of all. We're fat now and we'll be fat forever and we must never, ever mention it, and that is the end of it. It's like Harry Potter's Sorting Hat. We were pulled from the hat marked 'Fat' and that is what we must now remain, until we die. Fat is our race. Our species. Our mode. As a result, there is very little of the outside world –and very little of the year –we can enjoy. Summer is sweaty under self-conscious layers. On stormy days, wind flattens skirts against thighs, and alarms both us and, we think, onlookers and passers-by. Winter is the only time we feel truly comfortable: covered head to toe in jumpers, coats, boots and hat. I develop a crush on Father Christmas. If I married him, not only would I be expected to stay fat, but I'd look thin standing next to him, in comparison. Perspective would be my friend. We all dream of moving to Norway, or Alaska, where we could wear massive padded coats all the time, and never reveal an inch of flesh. When it rains, we're happiest of all. Then we can just stay ~ Caitlin Moran

Being vegan is a glorious adventure. It touches every aspect of my life - my relationships, how I relate to the world. ~ Victoria Moran

Because I haven't yet learned the simplest and most important thing of all: the world is difficult, and we are all breakable. So just be kind. ~ Caitlin Moran

I could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained. ~ Caitlin Moran

He stroked Tibbles, who was starting to leak and make nasty little noises. ~ Kim Newman

I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People who look like ... they're waiting for a sandwich that's never going to come. I don't know what's wrong with me. ~ Dylan Moran

You exaggerate your own reactions. ~ Dylan Moran

Someone told me about drama schools, and they seemed like mythological places - you can really go and be in drama classes all day? I inadvertently entered into this world where people wore bicycle clips and did song-and-dance routines in the corridors. ~ Nick Moran

My favourite place in the world - the south beach at Aberystwyth -has a sewage outfall pipe on it ~ Caitlin Moran

As actors, we get to hide. You can change your hair and your accent, and it's not you. You have tricks, these masks. ~ Moran Atias

I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here. ~ Dylan Moran

I'm working as hard as I can. Yesterday, I had five different debates. I don't get a half an hour a day to talk to my wife. I don't know how much harder I can work. ~ James P. Moran

Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone. ~ Dylan Moran