Monty Panesar Quotes

If Shane Warne were to become England spin bowling coach I think it would be fantastic for myself and all those learning to bowl spin in England. ~ Monty Panesar

History generally records that Michael Vaughan quit the England captaincy in tearful circumstances following the Test-series defeat to South Africa in 2008. But the Top Spin can reveal this version of events is little more than a smokescreen. For it appears that what actually tipped Vaughan over the edge was a phonecall from a stricken team-mate - a call so harrowing Vaughan decided he could cope no longer.

The ex-skipper was enjoying a barbecue at home with friends two summers ago when he took a rare call from Monty Panesar. 'Hello, Monty.' 'Hello Vaughany. I've got some bad news for you.' 'Oh?' 'Yes, you know I was telling you about my parrot Gary last week?' 'Er...' 'Well, he's gone missing. Just thought you'd like to know.' 'Sorry to hear that Monty.' 'Bye.' 'Bye.'

So aghast was Vaughan that captaincy duty now extended to fielding calls from team-mates about escaped pets that he knew his time was up. Sure, the tears at the farewell press conference left an impression on us all. But it was Monty's ex-parrot that sealed the deal. ~ Lawrence Booth

Never let anyone tell you that something is impossible. ~ Monty Oum

A tractor-trailer overturned on U.S. 129 in Gainesville, Ga., "the poultry capital of the world," back in January. None of the drivers involved in the accident were hurt, but avian passengers in the trailer were killed, and Sarah Segal has asked the Georgia Department of Transportation for permission to a build a ten-foot-tall tombstone in their honor. The monument would read, "In memory of the dozens of terrified chickens who died as a result of a truck crash. Go Vegan." It would include an image of a chicken. PETA supports her initiative. Monty Python could not be reached for comment. ~ Anonymous

The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware of it, and Monty Python used to be on PBS at weird hours, so I used to try to watch that. And I loved George Carlin on SNL, that was the first stand-up I ever really remember seeing on TV. And then Steve Martin. I guess I was in fifth or sixth grade when Steve Martin showed up, and he was instantly my idol. And Richard Pryor around the same time too, I sort of became aware of him, though I don't remember the first time I saw him. ~ Louis C.K.

Come see the violence inherent in the system, HELP I'm being repressed! ~ Monty Python And The Holy Grail

A garden is not a place. It's a journey. ~ Monty Don

You must somehow understand that we as horsemen can do very little to teach the horse. What we can do is to create an environment in which he can learn. ~ Monty Roberts

I know that I have loved you before, I will love you in this life, and I'll love you in the one after. It's always us, Vallie. ~ Monty Jay

I wondered if villainy was like Armstrong Feint, someone once kind and gentle who lowered himself into treachery, or more like a mysterious beast, hidden in the depths and summoned to wickedness. But all these questions seemed wrong. They weren't my job. Like Hector and Widdershins, like Josephine and Monty and the rest of my associates, my job was not to ask questions about villainy, but to try and repair its damage. ~ Lemony Snicket

That hat is idiotic."
"I know," he says. "Percy made it for me."
"I didn't know Percy knew how to knit."
"He doesn't," Monty replies, and the brim of the hat falls in front of his eyes as though in emphasis. ~ Mackenzi Lee

Now, get in the damn jeep. It is, as you know, very, very rude and usually unnecessary to use profanity, but the Baudelaire orphans were too terrified to point this out to Stephano. Taking one last look at their poor Uncle Monty, the three children followed Stephano to the door of the Reptile Room to get in the damn jeep. ~ Lemony Snicket

That was sort of the 'Second City' approach, which was try to be intelligent and assume your audience is intelligent. We were influenced by 'Monty Python,' too, which would have philosophers in a wrestling match. ~ Joe Flaherty

The great thing about university is that they incline you to get up and do it, from the Classics to modern plays, to the humor that Monty Pythons made popular. ~ Michael York

I like that feeling of discombobulation that comes in creating an absurd world that doesn't make sense. 'Monty Python' does a good job of it; 'Bugs Bunny,' too. ~ Reggie Watts

A year and a half had indeed made some changes in Veda's appearance. She was still no more than medium height, but her haughty carriage made her seem taller. The hips were as slim as ever, but had taken on some touch of voluptuousness. The legs were Mildred's, to the last graceful contour. But the most noticeable change was what Monty brutally called the Dairy: two round, swelling protuberances that had appeared almost overnight on the high, arching chest. They would have been large, even for a woman: but for a child of thirteen they were positively startling. Mildred had a mystical feeling about them: they made her think tremulously of Love, Motherhood, and similar milky concepts. ~ James M. Cain

Good," Violet says. "Because I'll expect you to come back over when Monty and I get married."
"Monty?" Hadley asks, staring at her. She tries to successfully to recall if she's even seen them speak to each other. "You guys are engaged?" "Not yet," Violet says as she starts walking toward the dinning room. "But you don't look so gobsmacked. I've got a good feeling about it." Hadley falls into step beside her. "That's it? A good feeling?" "That's it," she says. "I think it's meant to be. ~ Jennifer E. Smith

There were two types of strong men: those like Uncle Monty and Abe Steinheim, remorseless about their making money, and those like my father, ruthlessly obedient to their idea of fair play. ~ Philip Roth

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!! ~ Michael Palin

Do any of them realize that Simon Wolfgard is falling in love with Meg Corbyn? Monty wondered. Does Wolfgard understand his own response to the girl? What about Meg? How does she feel? What would the rest of the Others do if one of their kind did fall in love with a human? ~ Anne Bishop

Everybody ought to be given a chance to do whatever they want, but be responsible for their own actions. ~ Monty Roberts

That's too bad," Mr. Hall said, opening Door 1. "You've won a goat."
"But you didn't open another door yet or give me a chance to switch."
"Where does it say I have to let you switch every time? I'm the master of the show. ~ Monty Hall

By the beginning of March, K Company, 333rd Regiment, had reached the Rhine. The men settled down in the village of Krefeld to await Montgomery's Operation Plunder, the crossing of the river; Monty was planning the operation with as much care as he had put into Operation Overlord, so the pause was a long one. By some miracle, the men found an undamaged high-rise apartment building in which everything worked - electricity, hot water, flush toilets, and telephones with dial tones. The had their first hot baths in four months. They found cigars and bottles go cognac. Pvt. Ray Bocarski, fluent in German, lit up, sat down in an easy chair, got a befuddled German operator on the phone, and talked his way through to a military headquarters in Berlin. He told the German officer he could expect K Company within the week. ~ Stephen E. Ambrose

I guess we have to help her though it. We are her team, after all. ~ Monty Oum

What does that make me, B?"
Without hesitation, no doubt, he responds with something I never saw coming.
"You're everything, Vallie. ~ Monty Jay

I swiftly discovered that there are few things in DIY (and possibly life) that can't be solved with a large mallet, a bag of ten-centimetre nails and some swearing. ~ Monty Halls

Fincher, Kubrick, Lucas, Spielberg, Del Toro, Tarantino. And, of course, Kevin Smith. I spent three months studying every John Hughes teen movie and memorizing all the key lines of dialogue. Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive. You could say I covered all the bases. I studied Monty Python. And not just Holy Grail, either. Every single one of their films, albums, and books, and every episode of the original BBC ~ Ernest Cline

Similarly, if we ask "What have philosophers ever done for us?" we get involved in the following dialogue:
"Well, their examples help us to decide what we think about issues we haven't thought about before."
"Oh, yeah, well, that goes without saying, doesn't it?"
"And their examples help us discover whether we really believe what we say we believe, or not."
" Yeah, all right. I'll grant you that their examples help us to work out what we think, and to think better. But apart from helping us to work out what we think, clarifying our views, and helping us to solve hard problems, what do philosophers ever do for us?"
"Well, their examples are amusing."
James Taylor, "Why is a Philosopher Like a Python? ~ Gary L. Hardcastle

Many businessmen fail to understand Python principles
the ultimate absurdity was an offer from America to buy the 'format' of the Python shows, that is, Monty Python without the Pythons
corporate methods do not have the conceptual framework to deal with an anarchist collective, run by intelligent and arrogant comedians who have proved that their method works. ~ Robert Hewison

When Bruce had used the word "brilliant" about Uncle Monty, he meant "having a reputation for cleverness or intelligence." But when the children used the word - and when they thought of it now, staring at the Reptile Room glowing in the moonlight - it meant more than that. It meant that even in the bleak circumstances of their current situation, even throughout the series of unfortunate events that would happen to them for the rest of their lives, Uncle Monty and his kindness would shine in their memories. Uncle Monty was brilliant, and their time with him was brilliant. Bruce and his men from the Herpetological Society could dismantle Uncle Monty's collection, but nobody could ever dismantle the way the Baudelaires would think of him. ~ Lemony Snicket

As a little kid when I would watch 'Monty Python' ... that would just blow me away because it was just so silly and absurd, but so intelligent, and I loved that. ~ Reggie Watts

Growing up, I watched shows such as 'Blackadder' and 'Monty Python' with my parents. ~ Mathew Baynton

My dad is into movies, and they let me watch movies. I was obsessed with Monty Python when I was in preschool - I don't know why. ~ Charlie Tahan

I have a weird sense of humour. My dad's the same. We love watching 'Monty Python' together. ~ Miranda Kerr

As you and I listen to Uncle Monty tell the three Baudelaire orphans that no harm will ever come to them in the Reptile Room, we should be experiencing the strange feeling that accompanies the arrival of dramatic irony. This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there. For no matter how safe and happy the three children felt, no matter how comforting Uncle Monty's words were, you and I know that soon Uncle Monty will be dead and the Baudelaires will be miserable once again. ~ Lemony Snicket

The number one worst piece of horsemanship on earth is violence. ~ Monty Roberts

If you endeavor to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve. It may not be immediate, and often your greater dreams are something you will not achieve within your own lifetime. The effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility even in death. ~ Monty Oum

At the end of Season Four of 'Mr. Show,' instead of doing another season, everyone just thought they wanted to go and do a movie. Kind of like Monty Python. Monty Python went right into 'And Now For Something Completely Different,' and everyone kind of compared 'Mr. Show' to Monty Python. ~ Scott Aukerman

Listen
strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. ~ Michael Palin

I was greatly influenced by 'The Goons' and 'Monty Python' reconstituting what comedy was - it could come from a funny word, not just a set up and a pay-off. I liked the zaniness; they were satirical, slightly saucy and very literary in their references. ~ Sanjeev Bhaskar

The solution of the Monty Hall problem hinges on the concept of information, and more specifically, on the relationship between added information and probability. ~ Hans Christian Von Baeyer

If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.' ~ Seth MacFarlane

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government ~ Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Poor Monty, with a father who beats you until you bleed.
Poor Monty, with a fortune to inherit and an estate to run.
Poor Monty, who's useless and embarrassing.
"Good night," Percy says, then rolls over, away from me.
Poor Monty, in love with your best friend. ~ Mackenzi Lee

The third of the biblical Ten Commandments instructs humans never to make wrongful use of the name of God. People tend to understand this in a childish way, as a prohibition on uttering the explicit name of God (as in the famous Monty Python sketch 'If you say Jehovah...'). Perhaps the deeper meaning of this commandment is that we should never use the name of God to justify our political interests, our economic ambitions, or our personal hatreds. As a resident of the Middle East I am keenly aware how often people break this commandment. The world would be a much better place if we followed it more devotedly. You want to wage war on your neighbours and steal their land? Leave God out of it, and find yourself some other excuse. ~ Yuval Noah Harari

What have the Romans ever done for us? ~ John Cleese

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. ~ Graham Chapman

Horses react appropriately while waiting for the human to get it right. ~ Monty Roberts

She looked so sexy with her sixteen cats that I just had to swipe right, but when she messaged me first quoting Monty Python, I knew it was Tinder love. Maybe on the first date we'll knit the blanket we'll make love under. ~ Jarod Kintz