Lube Quotes

Collection of famous quotes and sayings about Lube.

Quotes About Lube

Enjoy collection of 39 Lube quotes. Download and share images of famous quotes about Lube. Righ click to see and save pictures of Lube quotes that you can use as your wallpaper for free.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
Lube quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Dear Lord," began Randy, who paused for long enough that Tristan sneaked an eye open to look at him. His saw his mother's cheek twitch with what he thought might be apprehension. "We are so grateful to be gathered here today with our family, and the family of our brother's homosexual boyfriend, and our new little goth friend who has a gay dad, whatever the heck that is all about. We'd like to say we're grateful this year for condoms, lube, and Ellen Degeneres, and for those guys on Queer Eye ... "
Randall Evan Phillips!" his mother shouted. ~ Z.A. Maxfield
Lube quotes by Z.A. Maxfield
Definitely. I've got posters of girls in bikinis, too. And like, a whole bedside drawer of lube." "I would be disappointed if you didn't." Cassidy laughed. ~ Robyn Schneider
Lube quotes by Robyn Schneider
Don't even think about it." Søren said as Kingsley pulled his coat and gloves off.
"I'm always thinking about it." Kingsley said. "I brought the lube."
"Kingsley, it's not even five in the morning yet."
"You beat me this early before."
"I was attempting to wake you up."
"With your alarm cock? ~ Tiffany Reisz
Lube quotes by Tiffany Reisz
You don't fuck with fate, Oz, because she'll ass-rape you with no lube, wearing a spiked dildo. ~ Katrina Monroe
Lube quotes by Katrina Monroe
While Hannah was busy positioning the laptop and shimmying out of her shorts and a thong, I pushed off my boxers and squirted lube into my palm. I glanced at my cock. It stood stiffly from me, nine thick, smooth inches for which I didn't thank God often enough. ~ M. Pierce
Lube quotes by M. Pierce
En route to the final destination, which was always to get trashed, wasted, hammered, crunked up, bombed, wrecked, sloshed, fried, flapjacked, fucked-up, or get plainlong fucked, laid, drained, get some ass, get some head, some skull, a lube job, get your oil changed, get some brown sugar, quiff, goo, pussy ... ~ Tom Wolfe
Lube quotes by Tom Wolfe
Y'look like someone told you they'd stopped making lube. ~ K.A. Mitchell
Lube quotes by K.A. Mitchell
Money was invented as a lubricant for the barter system, but we're way overdue for a lube and oil change. ~ Daniel N. Robinson
Lube quotes by Daniel N. Robinson
Arik didn't know how long he'd been in hell. Time was one never-ending, no-lube f&*k when you were in the dark and in agony. ~ Larissa Ione
Lube quotes by Larissa Ione
Yeah, well there's your first problem. You don't get it. You can't even see what you did. You're going to sit here today and you're going to convince yourself that you were right and I was unreasonable and you won't even think about what you just tried to make me into. But hey ... It's not my problem, now. You think what you want. I'm gone."
He sighed and reached for my suitcase. "Will you at least let me help you down the stairs?"
"Fuck off." I'd rather break my neck than let him give me a second of assistance.
"Topher, come on!" Now he sounded annoyed and seriously, fuck him, he didn't get to be pissy over this. I turned around and gave him a withering look.
"Be sure you clear the lube out of the bedside table before you bang your wife in that room. It's a dead giveaway. ~ Amelia C. Gormley
Lube quotes by Amelia C. Gormley
No more goddamn fingers. Fuck me already," Syn hissed over his shoulder. Furi slapped Syn's ass a few times with his hard cock. "Damn, you are a bossy bottom, aren't you? Look at you. Aching for my cock," Furi moaned, rubbing his sheathed cock up and down Syn's crease. He grabbed the lube and drizzled it messily over Syn's hole. "Damn, ~ A.E. Via
Lube quotes by A.E. Via
I struggled not to laugh at the brand-new bottle of lube in his left hand and the unopened box of condoms in his right. He watched me, his expression dark.
"Just buy those?" I asked lightly.
He nodded once.
"Had it all worked out in your mind, did you?"
He nodded again.
"Have you ever fucked a man, Seven?"
He shook his head, his right hand squishing the box of condoms as he tightened his grip.
"And ... this is what you want?" I looked at his face then, watching for any signs of doubt. There were none as he nodded again.
I opened my arms. "Come here," I said softly. ~ T.J. Klune
Lube quotes by T.J. Klune
Exercise is roughly equivalent to an oil lube and a filter for a car. You don't have to do it, but when you do, it makes the car run a lot better. ~ S. Jay Olshansky
Lube quotes by S. Jay Olshansky
Tell me you spotted a condom tree over to the right by the stream of lube. ~ Jane Davitt
Lube quotes by Jane Davitt
Judge moaned and rose up to his knees in answer. Michaels gripped the base of his dick. "Oh my god. Look at you." Michaels put his tongue deep inside Judge's cavern, stabbing it in and out without mercy. Judge's sensual moans spurred him on, had him overwhelmed with wanting him. Michaels quickly spread some lube down his length. Holding on to Judge's shoulder with one hand, he parted one fuzzy cheek with the other and slid his lubed cock up and down that dark crevice. Driving both of them mad. "Fuck me. Austin." Michaels ~ A.E. Via
Lube quotes by A.E. Via
Grab the lube, 'cause you are so going for the Fucking God button. ~ K.D. Sarge
Lube quotes by K.D. Sarge
Lube helps to prevent micro-tears on the delicate skin in and on the genitals, which leave us vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections. Lube also makes the friction between your vagina (or anus) and whatever is being inserted silky and comfortable, as well as aids in smooth and nongrating hand sex. ~ Elle Chase
Lube quotes by Elle Chase
His eyes are so heavy-lidded I can only see a slit of silver gleaming down at me. Then he licks his lips, and a thrill shoots up my spine. I know that look. I love that look. Wes shoves his trousers down. His thick erection slaps my abs. "I want to touch you," I beg. "No." His tone is commanding. It only intensifies the thrill. "Gotta hold you down so you don't go running off again." He gives me another lingering kiss just to drive the point home. And when he finally releases my wrists, he's off the bed before I can reach for him. "Don't move," he whispers, and I go still, watching in near fascination as he charges across the room to where he dropped his wallet. He opens it, extracts one of his handy packets of travel lube, and returns to the bed. "Arms over your head. ~ Sarina Bowen
Lube quotes by Sarina Bowen
To promote the sales of GM vehicles, Obama says the government will stand by your GM car warranty. And all the taxpayers will get a lube job. ~ Ann Coulter
Lube quotes by Ann Coulter
Please, please, please, I implore you, do not forget to pack lube. I've heard that dry vaginas can be fatal to a man's foreskin. ~ Tessa Teevan
Lube quotes by Tessa Teevan
Expecting someone?" I tease, as if Connor's not here just about every night she isn't at his grad dorm.
"Not if I don't finish my homework," she says, picking the pen back up and tapping the course packet with it. "Even when he's not my teacher, Connor's a pain in my ass."
"They make lube for that, you know."
"Francesca?"
"Yes?"
"Get out. ~ Dahlia Adler
Lube quotes by Dahlia Adler
An elephant walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The elephant replies, "Sex on the beach, please." To which the bartender responds, "Sorry, but I'm afraid your penis is too big for me." "That's no problem," the elephant says as he smiles, "how about a double shot of Don't worry, I brought a few gallons of anal lube. ~ Jarod Kintz
Lube quotes by Jarod Kintz
One day, I'll do it. I'll come deep inside of you so hard, you'll fall in love. It's gonna be like Cupid's arrow."
Zak let out a high-pitched moan, squeezing his fingers over his nipple, and pushed his ass into the warm, coarse hand. The vision painted before him was both obscene and beautiful, and this time, he nodded. "Yeah, and then you'll break my heart, you bastard..."
Stitch laughed into his shoulder and pushed two fingers in at once, but with the generous amount of lube, it was only a slight discomfort numbed down by his own dick throbbing in excitement. Not to mention his heart beating fast as never before. "I would never do that. I would care for you and keep your heart safe," Stitch whispered. ~ K.A. Merikan
Lube quotes by K.A. Merikan
The burn was immediate but welcomed. He rode his own fingers, getting lost in the friction, his eyes sliding closed. The bed shifted and Judge was gone but Michaels didn't stop, couldn't stop. Judge was back with the lube, hurrying out of his jeans and spreading the slick liquid on his fingers before he even got back on the bed. Someone else was just as restless as he was. Michaels pulled his t-shirt all the way off, spreading his legs wider in obvious invitation. "Fuck," Judge whispered; his eyes on Michaels' stretched hole. He rolled a condom down his long shaft and slicked himself up good. When ~ A.E. Via
Lube quotes by A.E. Via
I'm gonna need a strap-on, a dildo, some lube, condoms, and more of that tequila. ~ Kendall Grey
Lube quotes by Kendall Grey
I'm going to take you home, strip you down, and fuck you - " "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Kevin said. He was back to pushing away from Jagger. "I think you forgot something there. Actually, I think you forgot several things!" Jagger cocked his head. Kevin held up one finger. "Kissing. There has to be lots of kissing." Then a second finger, and one more for each point he ticked off. "And foreplay. What is it about men thinking foreplay doesn't exist? I want some groping and rubbing and more sucking! Then - No, before the foreplay starts, but it can be during foreplay, too - a shower. Gods, a nice, hot shower." Kevin's eyes gleamed. "The two of us, naked, soapy, rubbing all over each other. But no soap for lube, that burns." Another finger went up. "Food. I might even need that before all else, except maybe the kissing. If it's garlicky food, then - ~ Bailey Bradford
Lube quotes by Bailey Bradford
Furi grabbed the base of his cock to keep it from exploding. It took a few seconds before he was able to spread a thin layer of lube on his cock. With just a small dollop on his finger he pushed it inside of Syn's impatient channel. He closed his eyes and took a calming breath before lining up his long cock with Syn's hole. He tapped Syn's hole with his cock to tease him a little more, knowing the man was beyond ready to be fucked. "Furious. ~ A.E. Via
Lube quotes by A.E. Via
Jesus and Paul were serious dudes. They had teeth missing. Jesus was a carpenter, Paul was in prison. These guys didn't eat tofu dogs and bean sprouts. They didn't play tennis. If there were trucks back in their times, they would have been doing driveway lube jobs on a Saturday afternoon. Same thing with King David. Yeah, he might have played a lyre, but he slaughtered thousands of guys. ~ Mark Driscoll
Lube quotes by Mark Driscoll
You keep your phone under your pillow?" Kelly asked with a laugh. This was the first time they'd shared a bed while Nick was on duty. "How does it fit beside your gun and your knife and the lube? ~ Abigail Roux
Lube quotes by Abigail Roux
How did they even fit you inside a jail cell with a head that big?" "Same way I got inside you. Lots of lube, baby. ~ Cassia Leo
Lube quotes by Cassia Leo
God rolled the condom onto his aching cock and applied a generous amount of lube. Day got up and turned around, putting his back to God's broad chest. God let Day position his cock at his entrance and ease down onto him at his own pace. God gritted his teeth at the perfect view of his cock being swallowed by this sexy man. "Oh my fucking god. Leo, fuck," God groaned through gritted teeth. Leo's ~ A.E. Via
Lube quotes by A.E. Via
If you can't joke about giant french ticklers and gas powered dildos in a fucking locker room then the terrorists win, E. Our freedoms are eroding. I'll pick up lube and condoms instead. Bring your hand. It's the only action you're getting. ~ Celia Aaron
Lube quotes by Celia Aaron
Using lube has been known to make penetrative sex last longer, and even a drop in the well of a condom can make wearing one a lot more comfy. ~ Elle Chase
Lube quotes by Elle Chase
I can play the trumpet, but only if I have a sufficient quantity of anal lube. ~ Jarod Kintz
Lube quotes by Jarod Kintz
Oh God! You asked Jared for lube?"
"Yeah. Why not?"
"It just seems weird."
He shook his head at me and smiled. "When we first met, I thought you were an uptight prep."
"And now?"
"Now I know you're an uptight prep." He pressed closer. "Cute, though."
"I though you were a punk."
"And now?"
"I think you're amazing."
"Zach?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up a d kiss me. ~ Marie Sexton
Lube quotes by Marie Sexton
Something just ain't right about thanking the Lord for sending you an opportunistic pretty boy who carried a string of condoms and single use packets of lube in his pocket. Still, I did it. ~ James Buchanan
Lube quotes by James Buchanan
It works ... (Dr.Ducks Ax Wax & String Lube) .. makes the strings last longer ... ~ Larry Coryell
Lube quotes by Larry Coryell
Ding!

Lady Elizabeth Figgles. Her father's a viscount and a member of Parliament, and she's also Sam Berkinshire's - an old schoolmate and one of my dearest friends - girlfriend.

"Elizabeth? What the hell are you doing here? Where's Sam?"

"Sam can go fucking die." She looks right at the camera. "Are you getting this? You can go fucking die, Sam! I hope your prick gets caught in a wood chipper, you cheating bastard!"

"He cheated on you? Sam?"

Sam's a great guy. The kind of guy even really good guys want to be more like. He makes Abraham Lincoln look like a lying shit.

"Your face right now, that's exactly how I looked when I found out - but a hell of a lot angrier. I found receipts, knickers that weren't mine, rubbers. Faithless, worthless son of a bitch."

She bangs the table and her nails are long enough to double as claws.

"Now I want Sam to see what it feels like. So I'm going to fuck you. On television. A lot. Hopefully live. You'd better rest up, Henry. I brought lube - a whole bucket of it."

Wow.

Ding! ~ Emma Chase
Lube quotes by Emma Chase
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