Loch Ness Monster Quotes

As those of you with children know, rational parenting is like the Loch Ness Monster. We all hope it's out there somewhere, but we don't know anyone who has actually discovered it (and if we do come across someone who claims to have found it, deep down we think that person is a little off. ~ Holly Sprink

People often trust low-res images because they look more real. But of course they are not more real, just easier to fake ... You never see a 10-megapixel photograph of Big Foot or the Abominable Snowman or the Loch Ness Monster. ~ Errol Morris

Contrary to popular belief, the Loch Ness Monster is not a dinosaur
it's a huge mutant duck, a top researcher claims ... Most mainstream Nessie researchers consider Gluber's duck theory to be horse feathers and are trying to blast it out of the water. ~ Murphy J. Foster, Jr.

Unidentified flying objects, abominable snowmen, the Loch Ness monster and human cancer viruses. - Medical World News, 1974, on four "mysteries" widely reported and publicized but never seen ~ Siddhartha Mukherjee

Though if love was an animal, Garret knew, it would probably be the Loch Ness Monster. If it didn't exist, that didn't matter. People made models of it, put it in the water, and took photos. The hoax of it was good enough. The idea of it. Though some people feared it, wished it would just go away, had their lives insured against being eaten alive by it. ~ Tao Lin

Insight roams the sea of the unconscious like the Loch Ness monster, a rumor whose wake occasionally becomes visible, but even then it's mystifying and scarcely believed. ~ Diane Ackerman

Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists. ~ Kumail Nanjiani

If I ever see an alien fishing in Scotland, and witness it catching the Loch Ness Monster, I'd probably assume the world would want me to write a poem about the event, rather than take pictures of it. ~ Jarod Kintz

A theist can't empirically prove that God exists but he believes in God because no one can allegedly disprove God's existence. By his logic, you must believe in anything you can't disprove. That means all things are real until disproved
including the tooth fairy, the Loch Ness Monster, Santa Claus, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc. ~ G.M. Jackson

Up until the mid twentieth century the mountain gorilla was considered a myth. Oddly enough, a legend not unlike bigfoot or the loch ness monster. The chance of actually seeing/experiencing this elusive shadow was as likely as finding ones soulmate. Rare. Precious. Even once discovered they seemed unapproachable. The only way to get close to this magnificent creature was to become empathetic. Abandon all pretense and preconceptions. To bare an open throat. To collapse into the arms of vulnerability. All but extinct, these beings/moments are threatened by the black hearted. The cold and oblivious. The empty eyed profit seekers that overlook these rare precious moments. ~ Maynard James Keenan

B'gwus is famous because of his wide range of homes. In some places, he's called Bigfoot. In other places, he's Yeti, or the Abominable Snowman, or Sasquatch. To most people, he is the equivalent of the Loch Ness monster, something silly to bring the tourist in. His image is even used to sell beer, and he is portrayed as a laid-back kind of guy, lounging on mountaintops in patio chairs, cracking open a frosty one. ~ Eden Robinson

God, can you imagine what discovering the Loch Ness Monster would do to Luke's ego? ~ Jacqueline E. Smith

I don't understand the feeling of, the way people speak of writing as though it were, like, some kind of djinn to be summoned or like it's the Loch Ness monster or seeing a shooting star. It's a physical act. It is a thing you do with your muscles and your body and your willpower. Watch, I'll show you: get a piece of paper. Get a pencil. Put the pencil on the paper and write the word 'something.' ~ Matt Fraction

The inclination to believe in the fantastic may strike some as a failure in logic, or gullibility, but it's really a gift. A world that might have Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster is clearly superior to one that definitely does not. ~ Chris Van Allsburg

You do know that I can't just will mythical beings into existence, right?"
"Not with that attitude, you can't. ~ Jacqueline E. Smith

I actually saw the loch ness monster when I was 9. She was big as a house. Want to know who the loch ness monster is? It's your obese mother. Burn mother****er ~ Thom Yorke

Can I ask you a question? You know with vampires and werewolves and goblins and things, is there any mythological creature that doesn't actually exist?"
"Of course," he replied. "The unicorn and the leprechaun would be would be the two main ones. The Loch Ness Monster isn't real, either, that's just someone called Bert. ~ Derek Landy

Stories are important, the monster said. They can be more important than anything. If they carry the truth. ~ Patrick Ness

What is this place? Jurassic Park? ~ Mark A. Cooper

You must speak the truth and you must speak it now, Conor O'Malley. Say it. You must.
Conor shook his head again, his mouth clamped shut tight, but he could feel a burning in his chest, like a fire someone had lit there, a miniature sun, blazing away and burning him from the inside.
"It'll kill me if I do," he gasped.
It will kill you if you do not, the monster said. You must say it. ~ Patrick Ness

Who cares even if I didn't?!" Conor shouted back. "They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!"
The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seems to suggest otherwise. ~ Patrick Ness

He was waiting there for her beside the pool - a great black horse with shoulders like polished ebony and the water still streaming from his mane and tail. Morag stood and looked at him for a long moment. The great horse looked at her and never moved.
"Will you trust me?" he had asked her the evening before, and she had trusted him then. She trusted him now, and so she walked towards him. She grasped his mane, and still the black horse never moved. She stood on a stone beside him, swung herself onto his back, and the black horse moved. ~ Mollie Hunter

We ambled on to the gift store where I found a t-shirt that tickled my fancy. I also fell in love with a pen holder that looked like a family of spotted Nessies. I asked the clerk to first wrap the pen holder in some tissue paper and then in the t-shirt. My heart would be broken if it didn't survive the trip back home. There were some things a woman cannot live without. ~ Reyna Favis

Belief is half of healing. ~ Patrick Ness

Stories don't always have happy endings.
This stopped him. Because they didn't, did they? That's one thing the monster had definitely taught him. Stories were wild, wild animals and went off in directions you couldn't expect. ~ Patrick Ness

I wish I had 100 years. 100 years I could give to you" - A Monster Calls ~ Patrick Ness

It's not you it's me' she couldn't use that line. Even though it really was her and not him, everyone thought that line really meant, 'it's not me. It's definitely you.'
There was still a part of her that thought perhaps she shouldn't do it at all. In Andrew she had all the raw ingredients for a perfect life. Here was a grown-up, good-looking, solvent, generous, warm-hearted man who adored her. A man who adored her even when she looked like the loch ness monsters little sister and had a terrible temper to match.
It didn't take a huge leap of imagination to see Andrew standing at the top of the aisle, looking back at lou walking towards him with a grin as wide as the English channel. She could see him painting the nursery yellow; pushing a pram that contained two lovely brown haired twins (one boy, one girl); presenting her woth an eternity ring on their tenth anniversary, taking the twins to school, teaching them how to play football on long, summer holidays in Tuscany, giving the daughter away at her own wedding, cosying up to Lou on the veranda of their perfect house as their retirement stretched ahead of them- a long straight road of well-planned for, financially comfortable and perpetually sunny days.
'oh god' Lou poured herself a vodka. ~ Chris Manby

The answer is that it does not matter what you think, the monster said, because your mind will contradict itself a hundred times each day. ~ Patrick Ness

Witches cackle.
Goblins growl.
Spectres boo,
And werewolves howl.
Black cats hiss.
Bats flap their wings.
Mummies moan.
The cold wind sings.
Ogre's roar.
And crows, they caw.
Vampires bahahahaha.
Warlocks swish their moonlit capes.
Loch Ness monsters churn the lake.
Skeletons, they rattle bones
While graveyards crack the old headstones.
All the while the ghouls, they cry
To trick-or-treaters passing by.
Oh, the noise on Halloween;
It makes me want to scream! ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Not one of them lifting a hand to save theirselves from what's coming, hoping if they're meek enough, if they're weak enough, then the monster won't eat 'em. ~ Patrick Ness

The justifications of men who kill should always be heard with skepticism, said the monster. ~ Patrick Ness

Stories are wild creatures, the monster said. When you let them loose, who knows what havoc they might wreak? ~ Patrick Ness

My dad loved Scotland, so we would pile into his caravan and head for the Highlands, to Fort William and Loch Ness. It was such an adventure - my siblings and I were allowed to roam and explore the local beaches. We loved the freedom of those trips. ~ Rick Astley

("I knew it," Conor grumbled. "These kinds of stories always have stupid princes falling in love." He started walking back to the house. "I thought this was going to be good.")
(With one swift movement, the monster grabbed Conor's ankles in a long, strong hand and flipped him upside down, holding him in mid-air so his T-shirt rucked up and his heartbeat thudded in his head.)
(As I was saying, said the monster.) ~ Patrick Ness

The Third Tale
There was once an invisible man who had grown tired of being unseen. It was not that he was actually invisible. It was that people had become used to not seeing him. And if no one sees you, are you really there at all? And then one day the invisible man decided, I will make them see me. He called for a monster. ~ Patrick Ness

Connor:I let her go. I could have held on but I let her go.
The Monster:And that is the truth.
Connor:I didn't mean it, though! I didn't mean to let her go! And now it's for real! Now she's going to die and it's my fault!
The Monster:And that is not the truth at all. ~ Patrick Ness

There came a point when Harry stopped trying to fight back, when the blows from the monster were too strong, too many, too fast, when he began begging the monster to stop. ~ Patrick Ness

Even though it walked and talked, even though it was bigger than his house and could swallow him in one bite, the monster was still, at the end of the day, just a yew tree. ~ Patrick Ness

I liked it better when you couldn't be so sure. When terrifying rumors were distant enough to be a UFO at the bottom of Loch Ness. When the horribly compelling train-wreck tragedies of less fortunate people's lives were only as real as you let them be. Just a cover of a magazine, a black-and-white photo on some late-night commercial for a charity. Now confirmation is just a mouse click away. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both. ~ Patrick Ness

I have had as many names as there are years to time itself! roared the monster. I am Herne the Hunter! I am Cernunnos! I am the eternal Green Man! ~ Patrick Ness

This was a kingdom.
("What?" Conor said, looking around his backyard. "Here?")
(The monster cocked its head at him curiously. You have not heard of it?)
("Not a kingdom around here, no," Conor said. "We don't even have a McDonald's.") ~ Patrick Ness

There was once an invisible man, the monster continued, though Conor kept his eyes firmly on Harry, who had grown tired of being unseen.
Conor set himself into a walk.
A walk after Harry.
It was not that he was actually invisible, the monster said, following Conor, the room volume dropping as they passed. It was that the people had become used to not seeing him.
"Hey!" Conor called. Harry didn't turn around. Neither did Sully nor Anton, though thet were still sniggering as Conor picked up his pace.
And if no one sees you, the monster said, picking up its pace, too, are you really there at all?
"HEY!" Conor called loudly.
The dining hall had fallen silent now, as Conor and the monster moved faster after Harry.
Harry who had still not turned around.
Conor reached him and grabbed him by the shoulder, twisting him round. Harry pretended to question what had happened, looking hard at Sully, acting like he was the one who'd done it. "Quit messing about," Harry said and turned away again.
Turned away from Conor.
And then one day the invisible man decided, the monster said, its voice ringing in Conor's ears, I will make them see me.
"How?" Conor asked, breathing heavily again, not turning back to see the monster standing there, not looking at the reaction of the room to the huge monster now in the midst, though he was aware of nervous murmurs and a strange anticipation in the air. "How did the man do it?"
Conor could f ~ Patrick Ness

You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster! ~ Stephenie Meyer

When the monster struck a blow, Conor felt the sting of it in his own fist. When the monster held Harry's arm behind his back, Conor had felt Harry's muscles resisting.
Resisting, but not winning.
Because how could a boy beat a monster? ~ Patrick Ness

War is a monster ... War is the devil. It starts and it consumes and it grows and grows and grows ... And otherwise normal people become monsters, too. ~ Patrick Ness

You know that is not true, the monster said. You know that your truth, the one that you hide, Conor O'Malley, is the thing you are most afraid of. ~ Patrick Ness

One hundred and fifty years ago, the monster began, this country had become a place of industry. Factories grew on the landscape like weeds. Trees fell, fields were up-ended, rivers blackened. The sky choked on smoke and ash, and the people did, too, spending their days coughing and itching, their eyes turned forever toward the ground. Villages grew into town, towns into cities. And people began to live on the earth rather than within it. ~ Patrick Ness

They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!"
The monster looked at him quizzically. "How strange", it said. "The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seem to suggest otherwise.
"You're as old as the land and you've never heard of sarcasm?" Conor asked. ~ Patrick Ness

And a part of you wished it would just end, said the monster, even if it meant losing her. ~ Patrick Ness

War is like a monster," he says, almost to himself. "War is the devil. It starts and it consumes and it grows and grows and grows." He's looking at me now. "And otherwise normal men become monsters, too. ~ Patrick Ness

Conor shook his head. "That's a terrible story. And a cheat." It is a true story, the monster said. Many things that are true feel like a cheat. Kingdoms get the princes they deserve, farmers' daughters die for no reason, and sometimes witches merit saving. Quite often, actually. You'd be surprised. Conor ~ Patrick Ness

What are you?" Conor asked, pulling his arms closer around himself. I am not a "what," frowned the monster. I am a "who." "Who are you, then?" Conor said. The monster's eyes widened. Who am I? it said, its voice getting louder. Who am I? The ~ Patrick Ness

This is why I came walking, to tell you this so that you may heal. You must listen. Conor swallowed again. "I'm listening." You do not write your life with words, the monster said. You write it with actions. What you think is not important. It is only important what you do. There ~ Patrick Ness

It is a true story, the monster said. Many things that are true feel like a cheat. ~ Patrick Ness

And that, the monster said, is not the truth at all. Conor ~ Patrick Ness

("This is all sounding pretty fairy tale-ish," Conor said, suspiciously.)
(You would not say that if you heard the screams of a man killed by a spear, said the monster. Or his cries of terror as he was torn to pieces by wolves. Now be quiet.) ~ Patrick Ness

As destruction goes, the monster said behind him, this is all remarkably pitiful. ~ Patrick Ness

The parson refused to believe the Apothecary could help, said the monster. When times were easy, the parson nearly destroyed the Apothecary, but when the going grew tough, he was willing to throw aside every belief if it would save his daughters.
"So?" Conor said. "So would anyone! So would everyone! What did you expect him to do? ~ Patrick Ness