Lemony Quotes

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Quotes About Lemony

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If you know somebody very well, like your grandmother or your baby sister, you will know when they are real and when they are fake. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Villainy can win against one library, but not against an organization of readers. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Busman's holiday is an expression which refers to when people do the same thing on vacation that they do in their everyday lives, such as plumbers who visit the Museum of Sinks, or villains who disguise themselves even on their days off. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Nevermore Tree was gargantuan, a word which here means 'having attained an inordinate amount of botanical volume. ~ Lemony Snicket
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... and the Baudelaire orphans climbed aboard, turning the tables of their lives and breaking their unfortunate cycle for the very first time. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
The world is full of disappointment," I said.
"Yes," she said, "I heard him say that. And every creature is simply trying to get what it wants, and to make their way through a difficult world. Do you believe that?"
"No," I said. "There's more than that."
"Like what?"
"Like good books," I said, "and good people. And good librarians, who are almost both at once. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
There was a philosopher who said that all of life is just shadows. He said that people were just sitting in a cave, watching shadows on the cave wall. Aye - shadows of something much bigger and grander than themselves. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
I led her into the newsroom, removed the sheet, and pointed to the statue of the Bombinating Beast. She gestured to me that I should be the one to take it. I gestured back that she was the chaperone and the leader of this caper. She gestured to me that I shouldn't argue with her. I gestured to her that I was the one who had gotten us into the house in the first place. She gestured to me that my predecessor knew that the apprentice should never argue with the chaperone or complain and that I might model my own behavior after his. I gestured to her asking what the 'S' stood for in her name, and she replied with a very rude gesture, and I grabbed the statue and tucked it into my vest. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Wherever you can find a honeydew melon, you can find other melons. All other melons are better. There is really no point to having a honeydew melon under any circumstances whatsoever. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Operating theaters are not nearly as popular as dramatic theaters, musical theaters, and movie theaters, and it is easy to see why. A dramatic theater is a large, dark room in which actors perform a play, and if you are in the audience, you can enjoy yourself by listening to the dialog and looking at the costumes. A musical theater is a large, dark room in which musicians preform a symphony, and if you are in the audience you can enjoy yourself by listening to the melodies and watching the conductor wave his little stick around. And a movie theater is a large, dark room in which a projectionist shows a film, and if you are in the audience, you can enjoy yourself by eating popcorn and gossiping about movie stars. But an operating theater is a large, dark room in which doctors preform medical procedures, and if you are in the audience, the best thing to do is to leave at once because there is never anything on display in an operating theater but pain, suffering and discomfort, and for this reason most operating theaters have been closed down or have been turned into restaurants. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Lion which was nailed to the wall to the bowl of apple cores which sat on a small wooden table. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
In the days that followed, the Baudelaire orphans had pits in their stomachs. In Sunny's case it was understandable, because when Klaus had divided the peach, she had gotten the part with the pit. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Remember, sometimes something might seem like bad news, but it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
I looked at the poor, sickly plant, trying to grow in the coffee grounds instead of the earth, where it belonged. I wondered what happened to things that grew up in the wrong place. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Asinine is a word that sounds like you shouldn't say it, so when you do say it, people often gasp. This makes it a delicious way of saying 'not very smart,' which is all it means. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
The infant was standing on a spot in someone else's story, during a moment of her own. ~ Lemony Snicket
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There are words for a woman who walks the streets late at night," she said, with another meaningful look.
"Words like insomniac. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Idea. Mr. Poe meant well, but a jar of mustard probably also means well and would do a better job of keeping the Baudelaires out of danger. Violet, ~ Lemony Snicket
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It was something from the earth or the sky or the sea, or from a dream or the pages of a book I wasn't yet old enough to read, about monsters I wasn't brave enough to face. Soon it was an immense noise that rattled everything in my body. It was the sound of being chased in a nightmare, or the blind and violent fury of a bad parent, a tantrum that deafened the ears of the living and slithered across the bones of the dead. ~ Lemony Snicket
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My life felt heavy that night, with each year of my life like a weighty crate, so I had almost thirteen crates to carry around inside me, with each crate full of notebooks and each notebook full of secrets. It is hard to lug such a heavy load around with me and to keep everyone from seeing it. But some secrets are so strange and so dangerous that showing them to people makes the strangeness and the danger pour into their lives like dark, dark ink. I lived with this ink myself, emblazoned on my ankle for me to see each morning when I got out of bed, except for the days when I collapsed exhausted with my shoes on. But I did not want to stain anyone else's life. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I pushed the door open, slow as long division. ~ Lemony Snicket
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It is often said that if you have a room with a view, you will feel peaceful and relaxed, but if the room is a caravan hurtling down a steep and twisted road, and the view is an eerie mountain range racing backward away from you, while chilly mountain winds sting your face and toss dust into your eyes, then you will not feel one bit of peace and relaxation. ~ Lemony Snicket
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The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by. ~ Lemony Snicket
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I am sure you have heard that appearance doesn't matter and that it's what's on the inside that counts. Well that of course is utter nonsense, because if no one cared about what's on the outside no one would take a bath or comb their hair and the world would be a lot smellier than it already is! ~ Lemony Snicket
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A huge cloud of dust is not a beautiful thing to look at. Very few painters have done portraits of huge clouds of dust or included them in their landscapes or still lifes. Film directors rarely choose huge clouds of dust to play the lead roles in romantic comedies, and as far as my research has shown, a huge cloud of dust has never placed higher than twenty-fifth in a beauty pageant. Nevertheless, as the Baudelaire orphans stumbled around the cell, dropped each half of the battering ram and listening to the sound of crows flying in circles outside, they stared at the huge cloud of dust as if it were a thing of great beauty. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
If we keep waiting until we are ready, we will be waiting for the rest of your lives. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
If you like books with happy endings then put this book down immediately. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening.
If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Sometimes words are not enough. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
A fair deal, as everyone knows, is when both people give something of more or less equal value. If you were bored with laying with your chemistry set, and you gave it to your brother in exchange for his dollhouse, that would be a fair deal. If someone offered to smuggle me out of the country in her sailboat, in exchange for free tickets to an ice show, that would be a fair deal. But working for years in a lumbermill in exchange for the owner's trying to keep Count Olaf away is an enormously unfair deal, and the three youngsters knew it. ~ Lemony Snicket
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One of my prized possessions is a small wooden box with a special lock on it that is more than five hundred years old and works according to a secret code that my grandfather taught me. My grandfather learned it from his grandfather, and his grandfather learned it from his grandfather, and I would teach it to my grandchild if I thought that I would ever have a family of my own instead of living out the remainder of my days all alone in this world. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things."
"But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals. ~ Lemony Snicket
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We're all afraid, but that didn't stop us. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Mr. Poe opened his mouth to say something, but erupted into a brief fit of coughing. "I have made arrangements," he said finally, "for you to be raised by a distant relative of yours who lives on the other side of town. His name is Count Olaf. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Theodora glared at me, but Mrs. Murphy Sallis gave me a brief smile and offered me her hand, which was as smooth and soft as old lettuce. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Klaus sighed, and opened a book, and as at so many other times when the middle Baudelaire child did not want to think about his circumstances, he began to read. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Sometimes you are suspicious because of something, and sometimes you are suspicious because of nothing. This incident began in the library, where I could find nothing good to read. This was suspicious. ~ Lemony Snicket
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People who think nothing could go wrong are usually disappointed. ~ Lemony Snicket
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There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but a crying for all of the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you don't know and even the people you don't want to know, a crying that cannot be diluted by a brave deed or a kind word, but only by someone holding you as your shoulders shake and your tears run down your face. ~ Lemony Snicket
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The manager frowned, as if the middle Baudelaire had given him the wrong answer.
That's the rooftop bathing salon," he said. "People who sunbathe aren't usually interested in library science, so they're not picky about the salon's location. Now get moving! ~ Lemony Snicket
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But the siblings could scarcely remember when they had been able to relax and do the things they liked to do best. It seemed ages since Violet had been able to sit around and think of inventions, instead of frantically building something to get them out of trouble. Klaus could barely remember the last book he had read for his own enjoyment, instead of as research to defeat one of Olaf's schemes. And Sunny had used her teeth many, many times to escape from difficult situations, but it had been quite a while since she had bitten something recreationally. ~ Lemony Snicket
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An associate of mine named William Congreve once wrote a very sad play that begins with the line 'Music has charms to sooth a savage beast,' a sentence which here means that if you are nervous or upset, you might listen to some music to calm you down or cheer you up. For instance, as I crouch here behind the alter of the Cathedral of the Alleged Virgin, a friend of mine is playing a sonata on the pipe organ, to calm me down and so that the sounds of my typewriter will not be heard by the worshipers sitting in the pews. The mournful melody of the sonata reminds me of a tune my father used to sing when he did the dishes, and as I listen to it I can temporarily forget six or seven of my troubles. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I was once almost forced off the stage at a large chain bookstore that shall remain nameless, because she introduced me as Lemony Snicket, and I immediately interrupted her and said, "Oh no, Lemony Snicket isn't here," and then she tried to cancel the event right then and there. ~ Daniel Handler
Lemony quotes by Daniel Handler
People often forget to look at something right in front of them. ~ Lemony Snicket
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There are many, many things that are difficult in this life, but one thing that isn't difficult at all is figuring out whether someone is excited or not when they open a present. ~ Lemony Snicket
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The last safe place may not be a safe place after all. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Simply put, dramatic irony is when a person makes a harmless remark, and someone else who hears it knows something that makes the remark have a different, and usually unpleasant, meaning. For instance, if you were in a restaurant and said out loud, "I can't wait to eat the veal marsala I ordered," and there were people around who knew that the veal marsala was poisoned and that you would die as soon as you took a bite, your situation would be one of dramatic irony. ~ Lemony Snicket
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There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging. ~ Lemony Snicket
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A bolt from the blue. ~ Lemony Snicket
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The answer to nearly every question is written down someplace. It just might take a while to find. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Being curious is the most important part of being a journalist. It might be the most important part of being anything. ~ Lemony Snicket
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When you find the sort of people who will show up to give you a ride exactly when they've promised to do so, hold on to them for dear life. ~ Lemony Snicket
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If this were a book written to entertain small children, you would know what would happen next. With the villain's identity and evil plans exposed, the police would arrive on the scene and place him in a jail for the rest of his life, and the plucky youngsters would go out for pizza and live happily ever after. But this book is about the Baudelaire orphans, and you and I know that these three unfortunate children living happily ever after is about as likely as Uncle Monty returning to life. ~ Lemony Snicket
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As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [ ... ] ~ Lemony Snicket
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Even the most ridiculous of stories can contain a grain of truth. ~ Lemony Snicket
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E!" Klaus cried. "E as in Exit!" The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last
cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How
in the World Are We Going to Escape? ~ Lemony Snicket
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Baudelaires had visited the office of Vice Principal Nero and learned about all of the academy's strict and unfair rules. When they worked ~ Lemony Snicket
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It was amazing, she thought, how everything having to do with Count Olaf was frightening. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Why does anyone have a lot of rules? So they can boss people around, I guess. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I spent another sleepless night in my apartment and in the early hours of the morning I snuck once more into my little kitchen, to prepare a huge torta di ricotta. I needed a cheesecake: it was the only thing that could give me the peace of mind I craved.
Had I been too hasty in offering to give l'Inglese lessons? I asked myself, as I ground green almonds with my pestle. The power of my wrist quickly turned the almonds to powder. If only I could grind my worries away as easily.
I beat the ricotta, egg yolks, honey, sugar, lemon juice, and rind into the almonds. I beat and beat and beat the mixture until a sweat formed on my brow and my body began to glow with warmth. Even then I did not stop beating. I welcomed the exhaustion that began to creep up on me: I could feel the healing power of my cooking.
Really I knew nothing about l'Inglese. Nothing at all. Except that everything about him spelled danger to an inexperienced woman like me. I was afraid of him, yet could not bear the thought of not seeing him again. I was always thinking of him, imagining our next meeting: amusing myself with every possible scenario.
I whisked the egg whites into peaks in a matter of seconds. I reasoned that I had been right to speak out to him when I did. I knew how I would have hated myself if I had let the moment slip by. I knew how wretched and foolish I would have felt at my impotence, and yet this turbulence inside me was almost as bad. Acrobatic butterflies fluttered in ~ Lily Prior
Lemony quotes by Lily Prior
I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor. ~ Daniel Handler
Lemony quotes by Daniel Handler
If someone had told me, that day at the beach, that before long I'd find myself using my four teeth to scrape the bark off trees, I would have said they were psychoneurotically disturbed. ~ Lemony Snicket
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The rest of the place was ransacked, a word for something that is fun to do to someone else's room, but no fun to have done to yours. ~ Lemony Snicket
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It pain me to tell you that once again Count Olaf would appear with yet another disgusting scheme, and that Mr. Poe would once again fail to do anything even remotely helpful. ~ Lemony Snicket
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
You'll have to observe everyone you see, and make such judgments yourselves. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Coach Genghis rather ~ Lemony Snicket
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I had written eight drafts of the Lemony Snicket' screenplay when this changing-of-the-guard thing happened, and I said to the new producers, "I don't think I could write any more drafts." I guess I was sort of hoping they would say, "Well that's okay, this last one is perfect." But instead, they said, "It's funny you should say that. We don't think you can write any more drafts either." ~ Daniel Handler
Lemony quotes by Daniel Handler
Nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself, particularly if the idea comes from a sinister villain. ~ Lemony Snicket
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There's a lot that doesn't make sense ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Trivial as her hair. This morning she was thinking about how to construct ~ Lemony Snicket
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This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there's always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Imagining the worst doesn't keep it from happening ~ Lemony Snicket
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There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork. ~ Lemony Snicket
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The treachery of the Inhumane society was controlled by one man. As a brilliant scientist, he could have saved the town, but instead he fed on the loneliness and discontent of the fading town, and pushed people in the direction hw thought was right. ~ Lemony Snicket
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The part libraries play in education is the part bubbles play in champagne. They may seem at first to be merely a shimmery addition, but they are the central feature of the entire enterprise and the reason, joyous and astonishing, to keep imbibing. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Theodora had an impressive vocabulary, which can be charming if it is used at a convenient time. But if you are in a great hurry and someone uses something like "skip tracer," which you are unlikely to understand, then an impressive vocabulary is quite irritating. Another way of saying this is that it is vexing. Another way of saying this is that it is annoying. Another way of saying this is that it is bothersome. Another way of saying this is that it is exasperating. Another way of saying this is that it is troublesome. Another way of saying this is that it is chafing. Another way of saying this is that it is nettling. Another way of saying this is that it is ruffling. Another way of saying this is that it is infuriating or enraging or aggravating or embittering or envenoming, or that it gets one's goat or raises one's dander or makes one's blood boil or gets one hot under the collar or blue in the face or mad as a wet hen or on the warpath or in a huff or up in arms or in high dudgeon, and as you can see, it also wastes time when there isn't any time to waste. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Composer" is a word which here means "a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play." This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing.
This is called decomposing. ~ Lemony Snicket
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...he couldn't help but think that nearly anything could be used as a weapon, if one was in a weaponry mood. ~ Lemony Snicket
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There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. ~ Lemony Snicket
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If you don't care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn't care about dentists, for instance could say 'Dentist, schmentists. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Sunny did not eat the wood, of course, but she chewed on it and pretended it was a carrot, or an apple, or a beef and cheese enchilada, all of which she loved. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
scraggly trees produce apples so sour that one only has to look at them to feel ill. Lousy Lane traverses ~ Lemony Snicket
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Don't talk, Snicket," Theodora said. "Fools talk while wise people listen, so listen up and I'll tell you how we will solve this case sensibly and properly. ~ Lemony Snicket
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By 'aha' she means 'one minute' Stephano claims he knows nothing about snakes, the next he claims he is an expert! By 'aha' she means 'Stephano has been lying to us'. By 'aha' she means 'we've finally exposed his dishonesty to you'! By 'aha' she means 'aha'! ~ Lemony Snicket
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In life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important. ~ Lemony Snicket
Lemony quotes by Lemony Snicket
One of the greatest myths in the world - & the phrase 'greatest myths' is just a fancy way of saying 'big fat lies'
is that troublesome things get less & less troublesome if you do them more & more. People say this myth when they are teaching children to ride bicycles, for instance, as though falling off a bicycle & skinning your knee is less troublesome the fourteenth time you do it than it is the first time. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, & that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent. ~ Lemony Snicket
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Defenestration" is ~ Lemony Snicket
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If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough. ~ Lemony Snicket
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For instance, if you woke up in the middle of the night and saw a masked woman trying to crawl through your bedroom window, you might call your mother or father to help you push her back out. If you found yourself hopelessly lost in the middle of a strange city, you might ask the police to give you a ride home. And if you were an author locked in an Italian restaurant that was slowly filling up with water, you might call upon your acquaintances in the locksmith, pasta, and sponge business to come and rescue you. ~ Lemony Snicket
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I purchased some clothes for you," Theodora said ... "I was given you measurements, so hopefully they fit. If they don't, you will have to either lose or gain weight or height. ~ Lemony Snicket
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