Legalese Quotes

I ask the vice president to stop dodging the issue with legalese, and acknowledge his continued ties with Halliburton to the American people. ~ Frank Lautenberg

Unconditional love is a gift of the heart. It's a gift that we can both give and receive that comes with no strings attached, no qualifications, reservations, footnotes, asterisks, objections, judgments, or other kinds of fine print legalese that later have to be uncovered, argued over, or cried about. ~ Catherine Carrigan

Several paragraphs of dense text began to scroll across the screen, an unreadable blur of legalese outlining all the details of enlistment. It would have taken hours to read it all, and then I still probably wouldn't have understood a word of it. ~ Ernest Cline

If my opinion runs more than twenty pages," she said, "I am disturbed that I couldn't do it shorter." The mantra in her chambers is "Get it right and keep it tight." She disdains legal Latin, and demands extra clarity in an opinion's opening lines, which she hopes the public will understand. "If you can say it in plain English, you should," RBG says. Going through "innumerable drafts," the goal is to write an opinion where no sentence should need to be read twice. "I think that law should be a literary profession," RBG says, "and the best legal practitioners regard law as an art as well as a craft. ~ Irin Carmon

She studied the document. "Looks like a bunch of legalese." "Pretty much." "You wanna give me the CliffsNotes since I didn't go to law school? ~ Blake Crouch

Genie: Okay, fine. So what are your three wishes?

Marco: Only three? In the stories I heard, the genies granted unlimited wishes.

Genie: Ah, not again. Well, let me clarify this for you. I only provide the "Limited to three wishes" plan, also called the "Classic package". There were certain gold and platinum plans offered in the past, which granted infinite wishes and where the genie practically stayed with the lamp-finder all their life. But those plans were discontinued around 2,300 years back. ~ Varun Sayal

The collective impact of these failures has been a complete erosion of ethical standards, ultimately leading to a novel system we still call Capitalism, but which is tantamount to economic slavery. In this system - our system - the slaves are unaware both of their status and of their masters, who exist in a world apart where the intangible shackles are carefully hidden amongst reams of unreachable legalese. ~ John Doe

Modernity has replaced ethics with legalese, and the law can be gamed with a good lawyer. ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Whereas, it is hereby decreed to all felines of the Middle Kingdom: They are enjoined to observe every provision of the judicial codes unless such provisions aforesaid have been abrogated heretofore, though any abrogation is liable to reinstatement at any time whatever and shall be effective retroactively without recourse on behalf of said felines whether or not said felines are presently or will be engaged in litigation. This decree is not susceptible to appeal. ~ Lloyd Alexander

How many words are you having trouble with, sir?"
"Just the ones that I've highlighted."
"I count at least a dozen, and I haven't gotten out of the first paragraph."
"That's as far as I got, too. I'm not sure you and I speak the same language. ~ Howard Tayler

Did you know that when you plead insanity, you're not telling the jury that you're innocent? Nope. What you're really saying, in legalese, is not what you appear to be saying in human talk. You're not saying "I'm innocent because I'm crazy." No sir. What you're really saying is "I'll concede that I'm guilty as hell. But I don't deserve to go to jail because I'm crazy." Big difference there. Trust me. ~ Bryan James

What exactly was Jesus' take on violent capitalism? I also have some big ideas for changing the way we think about literary morals as they pertain to legislation. Rather than suffer another attempt by the religious right to base our legalese upon the Bible, I would vote that we found it squarely upon the writings of J. R. R. Tolkien. The citizens of Middle Earth had much more tolerant policies in their governing bodies. For example, Elrond was chosen to lead the elves at Rivendell not only despite his androgynous nature but most likely because of the magical leadership inherent in a well-appointed bisexual elf wizard. That's the person you want picking shit out for your community. That's the guy you want in charge. David Bowie or a Mormon? Not a difficult equation. ~ Nick Offerman