Lap Dogs Quotes

If you can't distinguish people from lap-dogs, you shouldn't undertake philanthropic work. ~ Anton Chekhov

O, girls! set your affections on cats, poodles, parrots or lap-dogs; but let matrimony alone. It's the hardest way on earth to getting a living. ~ Fanny Fern

No louder shrieks to pitying heaven are cast, When husbands or lap-dogs breathe their last. ~ Alexander Pope

Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers. ~ Christopher Moore

Lap-dogs and blood-hounds enjoy the greatest respect at court; house-dogs and no dogs at all are not even considered. ~ Franz Grillparzer

The unpleasant sound Bush is emitting as he traipses from one conservative gathering to another is a thin, tinny "arf" - the sound of a lap dog. ~ George Will

I've done movies that have mostly feminine characters and elements, and I think that both 'Heathers' and 'Truth About Cats and Dogs' are, in their own weird ways - they're different ends of the girl movie spectrum, but they're very much centered around the female characters, and I like those movies, and I like working with good actresses. ~ Michael Lehmann

People who wear fur smell like a wet dog if they're in the rain. And they look fat and gross. ~ Pamela Anderson

I bet he fucks like he drives - a little reckless, pushing all the limits, and in it until the very last lap. ~ K. Bromberg

To think that this is my twentieth birthday, and that I've left my teens behind me forever," said Anne, who was curled up on the hearth-rug with Rusty in her lap, to Aunt Jamesina who was reading in her pet chair. They were alone in the living room. Stella and Priscilla had gone to a committee meeting and Phil was upstairs adorning herself for a party.

"I suppose you feel kind of sorry," said Aunt Jamesina. "The teens are such a nice part of life. I'm glad I've never gone out of them myself."

Anne laughed.

"You never will, Aunty. You'll be eighteen when you should be a hundred. Yes, I'm sorry, and a little dissatisfied as well. Miss Stacy told me long ago that by the time I was twenty my character would be formed, for good or evil. I don't feel that it's what it should be. It's full of flaws."

"So's everybody's," said Aunt Jamesina cheerfully. "Mine's cracked in a hundred places. Your Miss Stacy likely meant that when you are twenty your character would have got its permanent bent in one direction or 'tother, and would go on developing in that line. Don't worry over it, Anne. Do your duty by God and your neighbor and yourself, and have a good time. That's my philosophy and it's always worked pretty well. ~ L.M. Montgomery

I often think about dogs when I think about work and retirement. There are many breeds of dog that just need to be working, and useful, or have a job of some kind, in order to be happy. Otherwise they are neurotically barking, scratching, or tearing up the sofa. A working dog needs to work. And I am a working dog. ~ Martha Sherrill

Julia edged closer, wondering what kind of vocabulary dogs understood. Frederico Fellini, her cat, was an intellectual and she could talk about books and films to him, as long as it was after he'd been fed, and fed well. She had the vague notion that dogs preferred football and politics. ~ Lisa Marie Rice

I have a pickup truck. And I prefer to be with dogs or on my sailboat than in a car - actually, more than any other place on Earth. ~ Gary Paulsen

And why do you want to be near me?
Because you're all I can think about, day and night. I don't know what the hell is going on with us; I only know I can't get rid of it. I don't care if you're batshit insane and think you're the reincarnation of Cleopatra. I hear voices; you hear dogs. We'll work it out. Maybe get a discount on therapy. ~ Jennifer Crusie

None were particularly interesting, although I got a kick out of a note from the Philadelphia Zoo suggesting that since the tiger was not entirely reliable around humans, perhaps Mr. Willing would consider a leopard for his painting instead. It had been a pet until the demise (natural) of its owner and would, if not firmly admonished, climb into a person's lap, purring, and drool copiously.
I pulled a sheet of scrap paper (the Stars spent a lot of time sending all-school e-mails about recycling) out of my bag and made a note on the blank side: "Leopard in The Lady in DeNile?" It wasn't my favorite, Cleopatra Awaiting the Return of Anthony. It was a little OTT, loaded with gold and snake imagery and, of course, the leopard. Diana hadn't liked the painting,either, apparently; she was the one who'd given it the Lady in DeNile nickname.I wondered if the leopard had drooled on her.
None of the papers were personal, but they were Edward's and some were special, if you knew about his life. There was a bill from the Hotel Ritz in Paris in April 1890, and one from Cartier two months later for a pair of Tahitian pearl drop earrings. Diana was wearing them in my favorite photograph of the two of them: happy and visibly tanned, even in black and white, holding lobsters on a beach in Maine. "I insisted we let them go," Diana wrote in a letter to her niece. "Edward had a snit.He wanted a lobster dinner, but I could not countenance eating a fellow model. ~ Melissa Jensen

One day I gave Clifford a bath. And I combed his hair and took hom to the dog show. I'd like to say Clifford won first prize ... but he didn't. I don't care. You can keep all your small dogs. You can keep all your black, white, brown, and spotted dogs. I'll keep Clifford ... Wouldn't you? ~ Norman Bridwell

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too. ~ Samuel Butler

Fired Up, Frantic, and Freaked Out Training Crazy Dogs from Over-the-Top to Under Control Laura VanArendonk Baugh CPDT-KA KPACTP Copyright 2013 Laura VanArendonk Baugh Cover design by Laura VanArendonk Baugh and Alena Van Arendonk Author portrait by Elemental Photography Technical editing by Casey Lomonaco Interior photos pages 25, 67, 77 by Alena Van Arendonk ~ Laura VanArendonk Baugh

Sometimes I think I am still that 5-year-old girl playing with her dogs in the yard. That's how I see myself. ~ Rachel Hunter

Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal ~ Dave Barry

I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumours to my dogs. ~ Andy Warhol

He ate one of my bras."
"Ah. I see. Which one?"
"An underwire," she mumbled.
"The black lacey one from Victoria's Secret?"
She folded her arms. "That would be the one."
Well, no one could fault the dog's taste, Gid thought. That
stingy bit of lace had always looked plenty appetizing to him, too.
He forced his mind back to the matter at hand. ~ Jackie Braun

Why should a lobster be any more ridiculous than a dog? ... or a cat, or a gazelle, or a lion, or any other animal one chooses to take for a walk? I have a liking for lobsters. They are peaceful, serious creatures ... Goethe had an aversion to dogs, and he wasn't mad. They know the secrets of the sea, they don't bark. ~ Gerard De Nerval

Animals are certainly more sophisticated than we used to think. And we shouldn't lump together animals as a group. Crows and chimps and dogs are all highly intelligent in very different ways. ~ Alison Gopnik

First, she tipped the cold, sloppy leftovers from her plate into my lap. I heard her say 'whoops!', as if she'd forgotten how her own hands worked.
...
I stood up, my dress dripping with food, and slapped her as hard as I could.
Penny screamed and clutched at her cheek. The whole hall went silent. I shook out my stinging hand.
"Whoops!" I echoed. ~ Sophie Cleverly

Love is love," I told her, as I tell all of my patients who are ashamed to find themselves shattered by the death of a dog. "Loss is loss. ~ Meg Donohue

Sometimes I had the feeling that all of us in his family were like pets to him. The dog you take for a walk, the cat you play with and that curls up in your lap, purring, to be stroked - you can be fond of them, you can even need them to a certain extent, and nonetheless the whole thing - buying pet food, cleaning up the cat box, and trips to the vet - is really too much. Your life is elsewhere. ~ Bernhard Schlink

My uncle used to sit me on his lap and play "ventriloquist", only I wasn't wearing pants. ~ Thom Yorke

As Rachel walked along the beach she realised that, because of the dogs, two strangers had chatted, found out quite a lot about each other, but never exchanged names, and may well never see each other again. ~ Mary Grand

She put a hand on the huntress's shoulder and asked, "Is everything as it should be?"
There were tears in Kaisa's eyes, and they ran down her cheeks as she answered, "Yes." Ash looked back at the carcass of the stag, and saw that the dogs were being held off now, and one of the men was approaching with his kit of knives to begin the butchering.
"Why do you do this if it affects you so?" asked Ash.
Kaisa looked down at the ground and said, "It is the way of life. It ends. ~ Malinda Lo

It just goes to show, never say never, or the next thing you know, you'll be doing what you said you never would, owning a dog you swore you didn't want and walking (or carrying) a tiny, totally enchanting little dog on a rhinestone-studded pink leash. ~ Danielle Steel

Some people have dogs. Not me. I have a therapist. His name is Adam. [...] Some people think it's all very cool to have a therapist. Me, I'm not into this. Will somebody please just give me a dog? ~ Benjamin Alire Saenz

Autumn
Into earth's lap does throw
Brown apples gay in a game of play,
As the equinoctials blow. ~ Dinah Maria Murlock Craik

So may'st thou live, till like ripe fruit thou drop Into thy mother's lap, or be with ease Gathered, not harshly plucked, for death mature: This is old age; but then thou must outlive Thy youth, thy strength, thy beauty, which will change To withered weak and grey. ~ John Milton

Motherhood is tough. If you just want a wonderful little creature to love, you can get a puppy. ~ Barbara Walters

Uncle had learned long ago that obeying a rule in fact but not in spirit was very hard on people who say we for I and who do not allow dogs on their premises. ~ E.L. Konigsburg

I crashed," she said.
"It was a helluva crash. If you're going to go down, go down big. You should be proud." And then he smiled.
He held her hand as it lay on her lap while she lifted her brandy to her lips with the other hand, trembling a bit. When it was gone, he said, "Come on. I'm putting you to bed."
"What if I cry all night?"
"I'll be right here," he said. ~ Robyn Carr

I'm convinced that petting a puppy is good luck. ~ Meg Donohue

As for the cages themselves, an ordinary citizen who kept dogs in similar conditions for their entire lives would risk prosecution for cruelty. A pig producer who keeps an animal of comparable intelligence in this manner, however, is more likely to be rewarded with a tax concession or, in some countries, a direct government subsidy. ~ Peter Singer

Dogs don't bark at parked cars. ~ Lynne Cheney

The nauseating liquid choked the dog's breathing and his head began to spin, then his legs collapsed and he seemed to be moving sideways. This is it, he thought dreamily as he collapsed on to the sharp slivers of glass. Goodbye, Moscow! I shan't see Chichkin or the proletarians or Cracow sausages again. I'm going to the heaven for long-suffering dogs. You butchers – why did you have to do this to me? With that he finally collapsed on to his back and passed out." Chapter 2 ~ Mikhail Bulgakov

Ministry of magic?' bellowed Uncle Vernon. 'People like you in government? Oh this explains everything, everything, no wonder the country's going to the dogs ... ~ J.K. Rowling

Every creature reproduces after its kind. A dog gives birth to dogs, a cat gives birth to cats, a cow gives birth to cows, a monkey reproduces monkeys and a human reproduces humans. So when God gives birth, what do you think He'll reproduce? gods, of course! When God created Man, He created him in His image and after His likeness. That's why we look like Him; we have two hands the same way He has two hands. We have two legs, one head, one mouth, one nose, two ears and two eyes just like Him. ~ Chris Oyakhilome

This hunting of the fox, you need the dogs, no?'
'Hounds,' I corrected gently. 'Yes, of course.'
'But yet,' Poirot wagged his finger at me. 'You did not descend from your horse and run along the ground smelling with your nose and uttering loud Ow Ows? ~ Agatha Christie

At the sound of her uncle's voice coming from the back door, Jay threw Violet off his lap.
Violet giggled as she hit the cushions on the back of the couch.
"What are you doing?" she complained. "It's just Uncle Stephen."
Jay sat up. "I know, but ever since the Homecoming Dance, I feel like he's always watching us. I just don't want him to think we're doing anything we shouldn't be."
The Homecoming Dance. It had been almost three months since that night, but the memories still made Violet shudder.
Not a day went by that she wasn't grateful Jay was still alive. Grateful the bullet from the killer's gun had only grazed his shoulder, despite the fact that the man-one of her uncle's own officers-had been aiming directly for Jay's heart.
If her uncle hadn't shown up at the dance when he did, firing the fatal shot that took the killer down, neither she nor Jay would have made it out of there alive.
Jay had always liked her uncle before then, but now it was something closer to worship. ~ Angie Frazier