Kissing Funny Quotes

Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down ... and kissed him. And the world cracked open. ~ Agnes De Mille

What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve: The sure, sweet cement, glue, and lime of love. ~ Robert Herrick

And then she said, 'Let's play Truth or Dare' and then you fucked her."
"Wait, you fucked her? In front of the Colonel?" Takumi cried.
"I didn't fuck her."
"Calm down, guys," the Colonel said, throwing up his hands. "It's a euphemism."
"For what?" Takumi asked.
"Kissing. ~ John Green

How far away the stars seem, and how far is our first kiss, and, ah, how old is my heart. ~ Nora Roberts

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. ~ Steve Martin

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up. ~ Barbara Bush

Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses.' ~ John Lennon

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. ~ H.L. Mencken

I have a lot of boyfriends, I want you to write that. Every country I visit, I have a different boyfriend. And I kiss them all. ~ Anna Kournikova

I've no idea where ideas come from and I hope I never find out; it would spoil the excitement for me if it turned out I just have a funny little wrinkle on the surface of my brain which makes me think about invisible train platforms. ~ J.K. Rowling

Once they call you a Latin Lover, you're in real trouble. Women expect an Oscar performance in bed. ~ Marcello Mastroianni

I swear to God, Boss," he said one day. "Ya ain't never been a talker, but lately, if ya'd a had to rub two words together to make a fire, you'd a done froze to death. ~ Eli Easton

Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little tits. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw

And when you sigh from kiss to kiss
I hear white Beauty sighing, too,
For hours when all must fade like dew ... ~ William Butler Yeats

Without a reader, I cannot write. It's like a kiss: they cannot be done alone. ~ John Cheever

God is a weakling. He's quite scared of you. Far weaker than air and water, formless. Be so non violent, you won't hurt a fly, then only he appears.
God is a weakling.

Don't scare away god, not even unintentionally!
It's quite a funny law In God's kingdom, meekness is strength. This space formed from formlessness, Guess how strong it/he must be.
But in man's Kingdom, God is a weakling.

You feel bad if an infant is scared of you, No ?
Far weaker than an infant. When it comes to tender things, how careful you must be, realized ?

God is a weakling!

#SarojNotes #SarojPoetry ~ Saroj Aryal

Funny, now I can see, how looks can be deceiving. ~ Elvis Costello

It's funny when people say something is "unreal" about something that is, in reality, real. I'm so guilty of it, it's real! ~ Ethan Luck

So,like,what if she wakes up one night with an uncontrollable need to hook up with me?"
When my mom had wiped the tears from her eyes and caught her breath from laughing,she patted my face the way you pet an animal that you might find pathetic but in a cute kind of way.
"Sterling,honey?I'm almost positive you won't have that problem. ~ G.L. Tomas

Many things
such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly
are done worst when we try hardest to do them. ~ C.S. Lewis

I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler. ~ Mitch Hedberg

Don't kiss me if you're afraid of thunder. My life is a storm. ~ Anita Krizzan

Heart of my heart, that's who you are, Adria Morgan. Chosen and forever." Picking her hand off his cheek, he pressed a lingering kiss to the palm before placing it over the strong, steady rhythm of that very organ. "Wolf and man, you own every part of me. ~ Nalini Singh

Another day gone and no jokes. ~ Flann O'Brien

If you want to think about something really funny, kiddo, consider the fact that our favorite modern bad guys became villains by serving as heroes first
to millions. It is now a necessary apprenticeship. ~ William H Gass

Fuck, Christina."
"Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that. ~ Nenia Campbell

My life acccomplishments? Sanity, and you ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Funny thing about the army, they always promise to teach you "marketable skills," but they never mention that, by far, there's nothing more marketable than knowing how to kill some people while keeping others from being killed. ~ Max Brooks

I do not miss ITV, God no! Have you seen ITV lately? ~ Cilla Black

The more lives you have, the harder it is to change, yet the stronger you are. It's a kind of funny dichotomy. ~ Frederick Lenz

I strike fear into you because I am a man?"
"It isn't funny."
"I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing. ~ Catherine Anderson

We pass more women with swollen bellies hurrying towards the godshouse and Arjuro presses a kiss to Tariq's outstretched fingers.
'She's mocking me, runt of our litter,' Arjuro tells him. 'The Oracle is mocking me for choosing a man to share my bed. And her punishment is that I spend the rest of eternity staring between the legs of women. ~ Melina Marchetta

Hey!" Sam snapped, ducking the sticky shrapnel. "Keep your snot to yourself."
Dev scoffed at that. "Oh, so now you don't want to touch me, huh?" He tsked. "What is it with women? the instant you put a little slime on them, they get squeamish and have no more use for you. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Not everyone who stares likes us; we may look weird enough to get everyone's attention. ~ M.F. Moonzajer

There was an audible gasp, like everyone had been sucker-punched, and the sound reverberated through the hall like he'd just announced that not only was god dead, but he'd also been a hermaphroditic drag queen called Miss Demeanor. ~ Andrea Speed

It's been a while. I haven't seen the actual gag reel they put on the DVD. I just saw the DVD myself, so I know that it's going to be some version of what we saw at our wrap party. Some of the funniest things probably wouldn't make it to the DVD and that involved Ryan O'Neal singing and they intercut that with the American Idol judges judging him, which was pretty funny. ~ Emily Deschanel

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business. ~ Washington Irving

For they are yet ear-kissing arguments. ~ William Shakespeare

A lot of stand-up comedians are actually very insecure, and they come on slightly battling the audience. They want to be the superior person in the room, sneering at the world. That can be very funny. But to me, what's more interesting is that the world is on my shoulders, and it's pushing me down. ~ Stephen Merchant

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. ~ Robert Orben

Beneath my armor lies a heart more fragile than glass. Like water kissing sky forming clouds, like desert meeting wind that echos sadness carried for a thousand miles, we shall embark on a journey shared when our paths cross each lifetime. The moment I met you again, your eyes became the windows of eternity. ~ Tina Guo

Funny how terrified we are of inchoate things when our reality is far more desperate. ~ Layton Green

jenna had felt sexy-funny, like lucille ball with flour streaks on her face, a crumb-covered apron that didn't exactly flatter her, and yet nick had kissed her like a prom king falling for the reinvented girl in a movie. ~ Emily Franklin

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. ~ Larry The Cable Guy

You guys are weird," Tori said.
Simon sat on the crate beside me. "That's right. We are totally weird and completely uncool. Your popularity is plummeting just by being near us. ~ Kelley Armstrong

We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special. ~ Larry The Cable Guy

I recognized that the kiss was a door I had walked through. ~ Gayle Forman

Wit is the thought process that generates truly funny observations, as well as the most incisive comments, lasting quips, and brilliant asides. To say wit is mean is like saying the sun is mean for burning you: The giant ball of hot plasma at the center of our solar system is bigger than that, and why weren't you wearing sunscreen in the first place? ~ Benjamin Errett

I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium. ~ Henny Youngman

Give me a couple of years, and I'll make that actress an overnight success. ~ Samuel Goldwyn

I was there when I said it. ~ Murray Walker

If she rented the studio in town, I'd probably never see either of my parents again. Well, except for dinner. They usually showed up for food ~ Maggie Stiefvater

Or maybe, Zoey thought darkly, legends about monsters weren't so funny when girls were actually dying. ~ Claire Legrand