Kaidan Quotes

I followed Kaidan up the stairs, attempting to convince myself that having tea with a demon and his knife-slinging son was nothing to be scared about. ~ Wendy Higgins

This is my friend Veronica," I told him. "And this is Kaidan."
"Oh, I've heard all about you." Veronica gave him a big smile.
His brow elevated, but he didn't take the bait. Instead, he stared at me funny. "Nice wart." Leaning forward without touching me, he flicked the wart from the tip of my nose.
Veronica let out a loud cackle, proving she should be the one in my costume.
"I told you it was stupid!" She gloated.
With my pointer finger, I moved the paint around my nose to fill in the blank spot. When I finished, he was still watching me.
"Your hair's grown a lot," I said to him.
"So has your bottom."
My eyes rounded and blood rushed to my face. Veronica hooted with hilarity, bending at the waist. Even Jay let out a loud snicker, the traitor.
I wished Kaidan weren't so perceptive, but it was true. The feminine curves that had always eluded me were finally making an appearance. Stupid tight dress.
"Dude, you can get away with anything," said the pirate to the straight-faced ape.
"I meant it as a compliment."
"That was awesome." Veronica grabbed Jay by the hand. "Come on. Let's go find me a drink."
She winked at me as they ambled away. I gave my attention to the dry, trampled grass and scattered cans for a moment before working up the nerve to say something.
"My dad gave me a cell phone." And a car. And a ton of money.
Kaidan set the ape head on the ground and pulled his phone from a fuzzy pocket, blowi ~ Wendy Higgins

Shoes. I needed to get on my tennis shoes. I scrambled through my things on the floor and found them, shoving my feet in and tying the knots. Of course Kaidan Rowe would know what freesia smelled like. He probably had to take a flower course during lust training.
"Going somewhere?"
In my peripheral vision I saw him standing in the bathroom door. I wouldn't meet his eyes, afraid they'd be as stormy as they were after our kiss.
I stood and looked at the clock. It was nine. "Yeah, I'm going for a run."
"Mind if I join you?"
I huffed out a determined breath and looked at him now. "Only if you'll do something for me."
He raised his eyebrows in response.
"Teach me to hide my colors. ~ Wendy Higgins

He peered up at the house.

"I know you're finished in there, Blake. May as well come out."

I breathed a silent sigh.

Blake strolled onto the deck wearing low-slung skater shorts and flip-flops. Being shirtless must've been mandatory in California. I kind of wished they'd get dressed so I could focus properly when I told them about the prophecy. Blake joined us beside the pool.

"So . . . ," said Blake, rocking back on his heels. "Lover's quarrel over?"

"We're not lovers," Kaidan and I said together.

"What's stopping you?" Blake smiled.

"What's stopping you and Ginger?" Kaidan asked.

"An ocean, man. Fu - " He glanced at me. "Uh . . . eff you."

"Eff me?" Kaidan asked, grinning. "No, eff you, mate."

Blake put a fist over his mouth when he caught what must have been a seething look on my face, and he laughed, punching Kaidan in the arm.

"Told you, man! She's pissed about the cursing thing! Ginger was right."

I shook my head. I wouldn't look at them. I was too humiliated to deny it.

"Girl, all you have to do is say the word, and Mr. Lusty McLust a Lot here will be happy to whisper some dirty nothings in your ear."

Kaidan half grinned, sexuality rolling off him as wild as the Pacific below us.

I took a shaky breath.

"I don't appreciate when people are fake with me." I pointed this statement at Kaidan.

Wendy Higgins

Let us go somewhere and talk," Kopano said to Kaidan.
"We can talk here. She never uses her senses."
Whoops. I was officially eavesdropping, but I didn't feel guilty. I was too desperate for insight into Kaidan's mind. They spoke in low tones, hard to hear with the rush of rainwater.
"Do not be upset, Kai. I feel only concern for her."
"I'll bet you do."
Kaidan's clipped, harsh response was in direct contrast to Kopano's tranquil words.
"Even you are willing to risk yourself for her, brother."
"That's because I actually know her. What's your reason? I suppose you'd like to get to know her, too?"
"You have made it very clear that she is not available in that way. Be reasonable. There is plainly more at stake here. I only wished to help."
"There's nothing you can do, Kope!"
They got quiet and I could hear Kaidan's ragged breaths through his nose.
"Please trust me, brother," Kopano said. "There is no stronger weapon for Pharzuph to use than your concern for each other. If he learns that you were here to console her, you will lose all leverage with him. Do not fool yourself into thinking he will not discard you."
"Yes, some of us have to worry about such things. Thank you for the reminder."
The sounds that came next iced my blood: heavy footfalls crashing into puddles, and the metallic zing of a switchblade. I stood up with a hand to my heart. Then there was a deep, gruff chuckle. My father's.
"Put it away, boy ~ Wendy Higgins

It would decidedly not be okay to touch the bum. ~ Wendy Higgins

I grew up back and forth between the British Isles: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales. I spent short periods of time in France, Italy, and South Africa. This is my first time in the States. I was disappointed by Atlanta at first - I'd wanted to live in New York-but it's grown on me."
Everything about Kaidan was exciting and exotic. This was my first time traveling away from home, and he'd already seen so much. I ate my apple, glad it was crisp and not soft.
"Which was your favorite place?" I asked.
"I've never been terribly attached to any place. I guess it would have to be...here."
I stopped midchew and examined his face. He wouldn't look at me. He was clenching his jaw, tense. Was he serious or was he teasing me? I swallowed my bite.
"The Texas panhandle?" I asked.
"No." He seemed to choose each word with deliberate care. "I mean here in this car. With you."
Covered in goose bumps, I looked away from him and stared straight ahead at the road, letting my hand with the apple fall to my lap.
He cleared his throat and tried to explain. "I've not talked like this with anyone, not since I started working, not even to the only four people in the world who I call friends. You have Patti, and even that boyfriend of yours. So this has been a relief of sort. Kind of...nice." He cleared his throat again.
Oh, my gosh. Did we just have a moment? I proceeded with caution, hoping not to ruin it.
"It's been nice for me, too," I said. "I've ~ Wendy Higgins

I wondered what kind of sexy getup Kaidan would be wearing. Maybe Adam in a loincloth? ~ Wendy Higgins

Blake got up after some time, claiming he was sweating because of Kaidan, the human furnace. ~ Wendy Higgins

Wait," Kaidan called from behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, but kept walking. Then I felt his hand around my
wrist, spinning me in a half circle and pulling me to his chest. His face was so close. He reached down and cupped my face with one
woolly hand, and wiped the top corner of my lip hard with his thumb. I flinched back.
"What are you doing?"
"I ... " He appeared to have no idea himself. "I wanted to see your freckle."
A vulnerable tenderness flashed across his face, more painful to see than the coldness. It took every ounce of strength I had not to
beg for one last kiss. As fast as his expression had softened, it was back to stone again.
"What do you want from me, Kai?"
"For starters?" His voice lowered to sexy, dangerous depths. "I want to introduce myself to every freckle on your body."
A powerful shiver ripped through me. ~ Wendy Higgins

I had a tattoo once," said Kaidan. "Last year, just before we left England."
"What do you mean, you had one 'once'?"
"Bloody thing was gone by the morning!" His voice was indignant. "Sheets were black with ink. I put myself through all of that for hours, and my body just pushed it back out!"
And once again we were both in a fit of hysterics, sharing the world's best inside joke. We were doubled over, unable to breathe, and I accidentally snorted. Kaidan pointed at me and laughed harder, clutching his stomach.
"What was your tattoo?" I managed to push the words out.
"You had to ask. It was a deadly-looking pair of black wings on my shoulder blades."
Kaidan and I started roaring again, muscles clenching from the exertion.
We had no way of knowing it would be our last reason to laugh for a very long time. ~ Wendy Higgins

At nearly three in the morning sleepiness weighted my body as we lay there together so still. I heard his breathing even out as we both hovered in that place between wake and sleep. And then his hand wandered lazily down my back and over my hip until he was cupping the full curve of my behind, part of me that he'd actively avoided touching all night.
Scratch that sleepy thing.
His firm hands clutched me closer and I breathed a heady gust of air at his throat. I'd been careful all night not to be too vocal about how good his touches felt. I knew each noise would act as fuel, making it even harder for him. He rolled to his back, pulling me on top of him with both hands fully on my backside now.
"Kaidan," I whispered.
Looking half-asleep, he shushed me with a hot kiss, pulling my hips to crush us together. I whimpered into his mouth.
"God, those little sounds," he said against my lips. "I want to hear how you sound when I make you - "
"Kai!" I practically leaped off him, and he sat up, eyes blazing, licking his lips. I was breathing hard. He had to be as tired as me after our long day, and it was starting to weaken us big-time. Oh, how I'd love to indulge that weakness.
I scooted farther away.
"Maybe we should try to get some sleep," I suggested, though I was feeling wide-awake now.
He stared at me with roaring passion. "I think a third shower might be necessary," he said.
A silly laugh wanted to escape me, but there was no humor ~ Wendy Higgins

I always wondered what your type was, but I never imagined it would be a hard-core rocker!"
Here we go. I had been hoping he'd be too sleepy for this conversation.
"He's not my type. If I had a type it would be...nice. Not some hotheaded, egocentric male slut."
"Did you just call him a male slut?" Jay laughed. "Dang, that's, like, the worst language I've ever heard you use."
I glowered at him, feeling ashamed, and he laughed even harder.
"Oh, hey, I've got a joke for you. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?"
He raised his eyebrows and I shrugged. "I don't know. What?"
"A drummer!" I shook my head while he cracked up at his joke for another minute before hounding me again about Kaidan. "All right, so you talked about my CDs, you had some cultural confusion with some of his lingo, then you talked about hot dogs? That can't be everything. You looked seriously intense."
"That's because he was intense, even though we weren't really talking about anything. He made me nervous."
"You thought he was hot, didn't you?"
I stared out my window at the passing trees and houses. We were almost to school.
"I knew it!" He smacked the steering wheel, loving every second of my discomfort. "This is so weird. Anna Whitt has a crush."
"Fine, yes. He was hot. But it doesn't matter, because there's something about him I don't like. I can't explain it. He's...scary."
"He's not the boy next door, if that's what you mean ~ Wendy Higgins

Ready to s-snuggle?" he asked Kaidan, a slight clatter in his voice. Only Blake could joke on a night like this and get away with it.
Kaidan shook his head and undressed down to his boxers, too, the tension finally shedding away from his frame. "I swear, mate. If I feel something poke me in the back ... "
Blake's laugh was dry. "I'm pretty sure my junk froze off, man, so don't worry. ~ Wendy Higgins

Give me your knife." I said again.
...
Kaidan lay there with a whismsical sort of look and said, "Gosh, that was hot. ~ Wendy Higgins

Halfway through the meal, while we were all laughing and telling stories, I made the mistake of placing my hand on Kaidan's upper thigh without thinking.
He let out a groan loud enough to silence the room. I slipped my hand back into my own lap, and Kaidan cleared his throat.
"Wow," he said. "The corn pudding is fantastic."
I snorted, which started a round of snickers. Patti smiled at Kaidan like he was a precious boy.
"Isn't it good? Anna found the recipe a few years ago. She's a great cook."
"Mm-hm." Kaidan gave a tight-lipped smile. "That she is. ~ Wendy Higgins

On the fifth day I knew Kaidan would have made it home. I held my breath and called him. I listened to every charming word of his voice mail, then hung up. That evening I sat on my bed and called again. This time I left a message.

"Hi, Kai, um, Kaidan. It's me. Anna. I'm just trying to see if you made it home safely. I'm sure you probably did. Just checking. You can call me anytime. If you want. Anyway. Okay, bye."

I hung up and buried my shamed face into a pillow. Now I was leaving messages after he'd made it clear he wanted zero to do with me? Next thing I knew I'd be frequenting his shows to give him psycho stares from the back, and then doing late-night drive-bys to see what girl he was bringing home. The thought of him with another girl made me writhe in discomfort and curl up in the fetal position.
Day six was our first day of back-to-school shopping. We still had a month before school began, but the state issued a tax-free day, so stores were having big sales. I eyed all the teensy skirts and fashionable shirts dangling on mannequins. I tried to imagine Kaidan's reaction if I came dressed like that to one of his shows, some guy other than Jay on my arm. Ugly stalker thoughts. I was full of them.
Two weeks passed, and I was still tripping over chairs to grab the phone every time it rang, like now.
This time it was Jay. ~ Wendy Higgins

We got hungry around three in the morning, and ordered a ton of pizza from an all-night pizza place. Afterward, Blake talked a guy into letting him borrow his skateboard, and he once again entertained all of us. If it had wheels, Blake could work it.
"Is he your boyfriend?" a girl behind me asked.
I turned to the group of girls watching Blake. They were all coifed and beautiful in their bikinis, not having gone in the water. My wet hair was pulled back in a ponytail by this point and I was wrapped in a towel. "No, he's my boyfriend's best friend. We're watching his place while he's . . . out of town."
A pang of fear jabbed me when I thought about Kai.
"What's your name?" asked a brunette with glossy lips.
"Anna." I smiled.
"Hey. I'm Jenny," she said. "This is Daniela and Tara."
"Hey," I said to them.
"So, your boyfriend lives here?" asked the blonde, Daniela. She had a cool accent - something European.
"Yes," I answered, pointing up to his apartment.
The girls all shared looks, raising their sculpted eyebrows.
"Wait," said Jenny. "Is he that guy in the band?"
The third girl, named Tara, gasped. "The drummer?" When I nodded, they shared awed looks.
"Oh my gawd, don't get mad at me for saying this," said Jenny, "but he's a total piece of eye candy." Her friends all laughed.
"Yum drum," whispered Tara, and Daniela playfully shoved her.
Jenny got serious. "But don't worry. He, like, never comes out or talk ~ Wendy Higgins

My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook. ~ Wendy Higgins

Kaidan leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his bare chest. His father looked up at him and chuckled low.
"Look at my boy standing there," he said to me. "Such a caveman. Son, find a shirt and join us. ~ Wendy Higgins

We wrapped ourselves in towels and went back in, eating sandwiches on the bed while Kaidan made fun of the pop love ballads on Marna's playlist. Funny how he knew the words to so many of them. ~ Wendy Higgins

I won't just be swallowing my pride; I'll be choking on it. ~ Wendy Higgins

Is this kind of . . . boring for you?" I asked him, feeling self-conscious.

"What?" His hand that was resting on my hip tensed. He almost looked offended.

I brushed imaginary lint from his shoulder. "I mean, you know, just kissing."

"This is better than anything I've ever done." His voice was soft and sincere. He pushed the long bangs from my eyes. "Besides, have you ever snogged yourself, luv? It's brilliant."

I laughed, hiding my face in his neck, and he chuckled, too.

"Why?" he asked, playing with my hair. "Are you bored? Seeing as how you've kissed so many lads now and all?"

I whipped my head up. "Ew, I don't even want to talk about that. Those were gross and sloppy and - "

"No details please."

"All right. How about this . . . I could kiss you all night, Kaidan Rowe."

"That's my plan," he said.

We leaned in and stopped an inch away, interrupted by a persistent beeping coming from down the hall. My heart jumped before I placed the sound.

"Brownies in bed?" I asked. He actually stiffened and looked pained. "What's wrong? Do you have a no-food-in-bed policy?"

"No. You're just . . . turning me on with the whole Betty Crocker bit." His eyes blurred as he seemed to be imagining something. I couldn't picture anything sexy about me cooking.

I hit him with a pillow and he held up his palms in surrender.

"Maybe I'll bring a glass ~ Wendy Higgins

Roses are red and violets are blue, That played-out shit isn't for you. I got your love letter right here in my eyes. If you look deep enough, you'll see through the lies. ~ Wendy Higgins

Jay took out his guitar. He was decent at it, but the piano was his best talent. He couldn't get a certain riff right, so he handed the instrument to Kaidan, and my heart flipped.
I recalled him saying he played guitar, but I'd never actually seen or heard him play. Kaidan began to pick at each string, testing and tuning with his full attention. I watched the way his hands moved across the wood and strings, gently, reverently, his body seeming to curl around it as if it were a part of him. . . . I felt my hands getting sweaty, because watching Kaidan get lost in music did crazy things to me. My breathing became ragged and I couldn't take my eyes off him.
He looked up at that moment and caught me staring hard. He knew. He knew what it did to me! I could tell because his badge expanded.
He angled himself away from the others and signed to me, I want to be alone with you tonight.
Patti did have a lot of guests staying in the house. I signed back, I'll work on it.
"Excellent," he whispered, a hot grin sliding onto his face. ~ Wendy Higgins

My mother was an angel," I blurted. "A guardian angel."
Kaidan began to chuckle.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"You. You're a walking contradiction. Horns and a halo. I don't belive it. ~ Wendy Higgins

Behave, Kai." My voice sounded more sultry than I intended. "I didn't say a word." He wet his lips, and I thought of that mouth on my body several days ago. We'd only been apart one day, and already it felt way longer. "Okay, stop," I said. He grinned. "Stop what?" As if he didn't know. Kaidan Rowe was anything but innocent, and well aware of his charm. ~ Wendy Higgins

Who else knows about this besides us?"
"Just Patti..."
"Okay. That should be okay. Is that it?"
"And Kaidan," I added. My eyes darted everywhere but his face. I was in for it.
"Who?" There was an edge to his voice.
His eyes searched mine. I didn't want to tell him a single thing about Kaidan. I knew how it would sound. I took my hands from his, pulling the braid over my shoulder to mess with it.
"He's my friend. He's the one who drove me here to see you."
"You told some human kid?"
I coughed, buying time. "He's Neph, too."
Jonathan LaGray went rigid and his ruddy cheeks paled. I squirmed as his eyes bored into mine.
"Which one's his father?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"Richard Rowe. I guess you'd know him as Pharzuph."
Oh, boy. He wasn't pale anymore.
"You came across the country - "
"Shhh!" I warned him as people looked over. He lowered his voice to a shouted whisper.
"-with the son of the Duke of Lust? Son of a - "
He pounded a fist down on the table and a guard stepped toward us. I waved and nodded at the man, trying to reassure him it was fine, and my father pulled his balled hands down into his lap. After a moment the guard walked back to the wall and looked away.
"Don't worry!" I whispered. "I told you; we're just friends."
He closed his eyes and massaged his forehead with his fingers to calm his temper.
"You tell him that his father is never to know about you or whateve ~ Wendy Higgins

Kaidan had been captivated by the store owner's deep Texan accent. He asked a ridiculous number of questions just to keep the man talking. He then tried to repeat the man's accent when we got in the car. "Where are y'all young'uns headed? We got us some maps over yonder by them there h-apples."
I laughed out loud as he butchered the man's beautiful drawl.
"He did not say 'over yonder'!"
"I've always wanted to say that. I love Americans. You've got a nice little accent, though not nearly as wicked as his."
"I do?"
He nodded.
Aside from the occasional y'all, I didn't think I sounded Southern, but I guess it's hard to say about your own self. ~ Wendy Higgins

This is right, Kai. We love each other."
He closed his eyes. "I'd do anything for you."
"Just love me," I whispered ~ Wendy Higgins

In two days I'll fly to Georgia to sign estate paperwork and retrieve Father's remains, which are going straight down a toilet at the dodgiest petrol station I can find. ~ Wendy Higgins

I'll need to see your colors to help me gauge your intoxication.
I assumed it would be a relief to let down my mental guard, but I felt exposed and didn't like the way my dad's eyes squinched up when he saw my colors. I'd been trying not to think about Kaidan, but that only made me think of him more. My dad pinched the bridge of his nose. I was guessing he didn't think dark pink passionate love had any business being in his little girl's wardrobe of emotions. But he didn't say anything about it-only let out a jagged sigh and began. ~ Wendy Higgins

I'm terribly sorry, Anna. I've forgotten my manners. I thought you were ... someone else." He stuck out his hand. "I'm Kaidan Rowe."
I peeled one arm away from my tight self-embrace to take his hand. Every inch of my skin broke out in goose bumps, and my face suddenly burned hot. I was glad for the dimmed lighting. I wasn't one of those people who blushed pink in the cheeks; I blushed crimson in the whole face, and my neck became splotchy. Not cute. ~ Wendy Higgins

He held his face an inch from mine. This is our home tonight. Anywhere with you is my home. ~ Wendy Higgins

He was smoking hot. As in H-O-T-T, hott. I'd never understood until that moment why girls insisted on adding an extra t. This guy was extra-t-worthy. ~ Wendy Higgins

I went back in and grabbed my running clothes, then changed in the bathroom. I opened the door to the bathroom, stopping when I saw Kaidan's toiletry bag on the sink. I was overcome with curiosity about his cologne or aftershave, because I'd never smelled it on anyone else before. Feeling sneaky, I prodded one finger into the bag and peeked. No cologne bottle. Only a razor, shaving cream, toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. I picked up the deodorant, pulled off the lid, and smelled it. Nope, that wasn't it.
The sound of Kaidan's deep chuckle close to the doorway made me scream and drop the deodorant into the sink with a clatter. I smacked one hand to my chest and grabbed the edge of the sink with the other. He laughed out loud now.
"Okay, that must have looked really bad." I spoke to his reflection in the mirror, then fumbled to pick up the deodorant. I put the lid on and dropped it in his bag. "But I was just trying to figure out what cologne you wear."
My face was on fire as Kaidan stepped into the small bathroom and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. I stepped away. He seemed entertained by my predicament.
"I haven't been wearing any cologne."
"Oh." I cleared my throat. "Well, I didn't see any, so I thought it might be your deodorant, but that's not it either. Maybe it's your laundry detergent or something. Let's just forget about it."
"What is it you smell, exactly?" His voice took on a husky quality, and it felt ~ Wendy Higgins

This little thing"-he made a triangle in the air, pointing between Kopano, Kaidan, and me-"isn't gonna fly. Don't worry yourselves about Anna anymore. You hear?" They both gave single nods. "Then get on out of here. And keep your heads in the game."
[ ... ]
Before my father could apologize or give me another sad look, I wrapped my arms around him ...
He ran a hand down my hair. "Does she (Patti) know about those two boys fighting over you?"
"They weren't fighting over me ... ~ Wendy Higgins

Anna ... the night of the summit, when you were saved, it was the only time in my life I've thenked God for anything
Those words. They would melt me over and over for all time ~ Wendy Higgins

I think a third shower might be necessary. ~ Wendy Higgins

Girl, all you have to do is say the word, and Mr. Lusty McLust a Lot here will be happy to whisper some dirty nothings in your ear. ~ Wendy Higgins

I want to introduce myself to every freckle on your body. ~ Wendy Higgins

I saw a lot of 47 Ronin on the TV, in the films, and I've done Chushingura Gaiden Yotsuya Kaidan [Crest of Betrayal, 1994] directed by Kinji Fukasaku. ~ Hiroyuki Sanada

New Mexico is my favorite state," I declared as we pulled onto I-40.
"I'm waiting to see it all before I decide. And by the way, your driving isn't half bad. I expected to be terrified."
"Why?"
"I imagined a timid, overly cautious little angel, but you've got an impressive lead foot."
Whoops.
"Your car drives so quietly," I said, "I don't realize how fast I'm going. I'll set the cruise control from now on."
"Don't worry. I'll keep an ear out for cops," he told me.
"Will we be passing the Grand Canyon?" I asked. "I've always wanted to see it."
Kaidan pulled out the map and studied it.
"It's a bit out of the way, more than an hour. But how about this? We can go on the way back, since we won't have a time crunch."
I didn't know if it was the desert air or what, but I felt at ease. I still had a thousand questions for Kaidan, but I wasn't in the mood for another heavy conversation just yet. I liked talking to him. We were still guarded, and it wasn't nearly as carefree as talking with Jay, but I was beginning to imagine keeping Kaidan in my life as a friend after this trip. Time would help us forget the kiss. My crush on him would fade. If I could stop analyzing every touch and every look, then maybe it could work. I vowed to myself at that moment: No more jealousy. No more flirting. No more lustful longing for the elusive Kaidan Rowe. ~ Wendy Higgins

Do you trust this boy?"
"I trust that he's probably listening to this conversation right now."
"Surely he's capable of being a gentleman and wouldn't do such a thing," she said with false sweetness. I knew she was saying it to him, not me. I wondered how Kaidan would fare against a mother's guilt trip. ~ Wendy Higgins