Jury Duty Quotes

Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty. ~ Woody Allen

Never saw a point in showing up for jury duty. I already know I'm going to vote guilty." Ari's mouth made a tiny O, and she put her hand to her heart. "What about justice?"
"It is justice. Whoever they are, they're guilty of making me show up for jury duty. ~ J.C. Nelson

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

I vote and I do jury duty. ~ Christopher Hitchens

Raise your hand if you had no idea you'd see so much nudity in one week of jury duty.
Twelve hands flew straight into the air.
And unbelievably, Payton laughed. ~ Julie James

I got jury duty ... and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesn't? ~ Sarah Silverman

up. I kind of hoped jury duty lasted ~ Denise Grover Swank

If you were summoned for jury duty and you didn't show up, what would happen? You'd be in jail! ~ Trey Gowdy

Along with voting, jury duty, and paying taxes, goofing off is one of the central obligations of American citizenship. ~ Sarah Vowell

But even democracies like ours are rife with corruption. The founding fathers had the right idea. They never envisioned professional politicians. They wanted citizen legislators, leaving their farms for a few years to serve their fellow man. A civic responsibility like jury duty. But under our current system, you almost have to be a megalomaniac to have interest in entering the sewer that is politics. And success in this realm requires that backstabbing, shamelessness, lying, and manipulation become an art form. ~ Douglas E. Richards

I only subpoena folks for jury duty that I know will be fair... ~ Paul Henry Abram

Serving jury duty is a fascinating little slice of life, with its motley crew of personalities. ~ Nina Garcia

I had only been a citizen for two weeks when I received a summons to appear for jury duty! ~ Alex Trebek

So far, I've never missed a deadline for a term paper, a review, a manuscript. I perform the mumbo-jumbo of voting with belief in my heart, I've not yet won even a jaywalking ticket, and unlike my father, whom I fault in this respect, I refrain from opting out of jury duty; instead, they mostly kick me out. ~ William T. Vollmann

We're brainwashed with garbage idioms like "Big girls don't cry". Guys who "cry like a girl" are told to "man up". Or "she's crying like a baby", as if only babies cry, which makes no sense to me, given babies have the fewest problems out of all of us. They don't have mortgages or jury duty, and they get the fun end of the whole birthing situation. The mother is the one who is pushing and bleeding and tearing, and the baby basically just gets to jet down a water slide. I think the whole "crying like a baby" idiom should be reversed: what we should say about babies is "Jesus, that baby is crying like a grown-up! ~ Whitney Cummings

To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in mail one day and be like, I'm Secretary of State next month! ~ Wanda Sykes

Do you really want to be judged by twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty? ~ Emma Chase

Well I was on the jury duty on the Deauville Film Festival, a few years ago. ~ Liam Neeson

The great thing about our system of democracy is when they call you for jury duty, you have to come ... It's an honor and a privilege. I was called and I've got to be here. ~ Antonio Villaraigosa

I got put on jury duty, which is where I learned how to write. ~ David O. Russell

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. ~ Dan Castellaneta

For instance, while writing this, I was summoned to attend jury duty. Throughout the jury selection process, coordinators and judges reminded us how important our presence was, and how deeply they and the State of Oregon appreciated our service. The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Oregon and several judges who may or may not have been actors thanked us via video. The big joke of it was that attending jury service is mandatory and my summons threatened me with the possibility of being held in contempt of court for non-compliance. That pretty much sums up how the state "appreciates" its citizens. "We ~ Jack Donovan

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with. ~ Dana Gould

Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph. ~ John Mortimer

It's rare to find someone excited over jury duty. If they're out there, I've never met them. Not a one. When the summons for jury duty arrives in the mail, how many people scream, 'Yes!' and run to clear the calendar? None. Our first and only reaction is, 'Oh, no,' quickly followed by, 'How can I get out of this?' ~ Regina Brett

Have you ever heard that old joke about juries? Do you really want to be judged by twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty? Yes-that's exactly who you want judging you. Because juries are people unfamiliar with the letter of the law. And those are people who can be swayed-by lots of elements that have absolutely nothing to do with facts. ~ Emma Chase

The most sacred duty, the supreme and urgent work, is to deliver humanity from the malediction of Cain - fratricidal war. ~ African Spir

Brick's detachment is at last broken through. His heart is accelerated; his forehead sweat-beaded; his breath becomes more rapid and his voice hoarse. The thing they're discussing, timidly and painfully on the side of Big Daddy, fiercely, violently on Brick's side, is the inadmissible thing that Skipper died to disavow between them. The fact that if it existed it had to be disavowed to "keep face" in the world they lived in, may be at the heart of the "mendacity" that Brick drinks to kill his disgust with. It may be the root of his collapse. Or maybe it is only a single manifestation of it, not even the most important. The bird that I hope to catch in the net of this play is not the solution of one man's psychological problem. I'm trying to catch the true quality of experience in a group of people, that cloudy, flickering, evanescent - fiercely charged! - interplay of live human beings in the thundercloud of a common crisis. Some mystery should be left in the revelation of character in a play, just as a great deal of mystery is always left in the revelation of character in life, even in one's own character to himself. This does not absolve the playwright of his duty to observe and probe as clearly and deeply as he legitimately can: but it should steer him away from "pat" conclusions, facile definitions which make a play just a play, not a snare for the truth of human experience. ~ Tennessee Williams

Difficulties and obstacles are God's challenges to faith. When hindrances confront us in the path of duty, we are to recognize them as vessels for faith to fill with the fullness and all-sufficiency of Jesus. ~ A.B. Simpson

If I regarded my life from the point of view of the pessimist, I should be undone. I should seek in vain for the light that does not visit my eyes and the music that does not ring in my ears. I should beg night and day and never be satisfied. I should sit apart in awful solitude, a prey to fear and despair. But since I consider it a duty to myself and to others to be happy, I escape a misery worse than any physical deprivation. ~ Helen Keller

It is the duty of a man of honor to teach others the good which he has not been able to do himself because of the malignity of the times, that this good finally can be done by another more loved in heaven. ~ Niccolo Machiavelli

We never know who they are that God will draw, and have nothing to do with it. Our duty is to invite all, and leave it to God to choose the vessels of mercy. ~ J.C. Ryle

I took upon myself to enact the part of a poor, unfortunate crazy girl, and felt it my duty not to shirk any of the disagreeable results that should follow. ~ Nellie Bly

His games have a deeper meaning and fascination that adults can no longer fathom and require nothing more than three pebbles, or a piece of wood with a dandelion helmet, perhaps; but above all they require only the pure, strong, passionate, chaste, still-untroubled fantasy of those happy years when life still hesitates to touch us, when neither duty nor guilt dares lay a hand upon us, when we are allowed to see, hear, laugh, wonder, and dream without the world's demanding anything in return, when the impatience of those whom we want so much to love has not yet begun to torment us for evidence, some early token, that we will diligently fulfill our duties. Ah, it will not be long, and all that will rain down upon us in overwhelming, raw power, will assault us, stretch us, cramp us, drill us, corrupt us. ~ Thomas Mann

Being true to one's duty is a mark of true disciples of the Lord and the children of God. Be valiant in your duty. Stay in step. Do not fail in your most important task, that of keeping your second estate. Be true to your duty, for it will bring you to God. ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

A social organism of any sort whatever, large or small, is what it is because each member proceeds to his own duty with a trust that the other members will simultaneously do theirs. Wherever a desired result is achieved by the co-operation of many independent persons, its existence as a fact is a pure consequence of the precursive faith in one another of those immediately concerned. ~ William James

If I had any kind of creed in regard to living among strangers, it was this: once could criticize one's own place, indeed one had a duty to do so, but when crossing a cultural border one left behind judgements as to how life should be organized ~ Robyn Davidson

Patriotism takes the place of religion in France. In the service of la patrie, the doing of one's duty is elevated into the sphere of exalted emotion. ~ W. C. Brownell

Death is something inevitable. When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace. I believe I have made that effort and that is, therefore, why I will sleep for the eternity. ~ Nelson Mandela

The highest duty of the writer is to remain true to himself and let the chips fall where they may. In serving his vision of the truth the artist best serves his nation. ~ John F. Kennedy

By the laws of rectitude accused Persons, however atrocious their offences, are allowed to make their defence, and by a verdict of a Jury of their Peers, they are either convicted, or acquitted. I have some times thought that we Women are hardly dealt by since strictly speaking, we cannot legally be tried by our Peers, for men are not our Peers, and yet upon their breath our guilt or innocence depends - thus are our privileges in this, as in many other respects tyrannically abridged, and we are forced to yield to necessity. ~ Judith Sargent Murray

When love and duty are one then grace is within your soul. ~ Shannon L. Alder

Our God, the almighty Lord of heaven and earth," he began in a clear, authoritative voice, "bless these two here before you with your grace. Grace to keep one another in sickness and in health. Grace to learn together to serve as you would have them serve. Grace to give them strength for daily toil and duty. Grace to keep them in the hour of temptation or weakness. Grace that will enable them to give and love and labor. Make them fruitful. Bless them with your presence. Wrap them in your peace. And multiply their love - for you, for others, for one another. In the name of our blessed Lord and Savior, Jesus of Nazareth. Amen. ~ Janette Oke

There's going to be a lot of eating. My listeners have tweeted me and said "You've just got to keep eating, keep your energy up and have someone on duty to give you a massage if you need it." It will be a case of getting it done and making sure I don't get too cold, because that's crucial for the muscles. So that's all going to be taken care of. But really there's not much you can do - if you start cramping up you've just got to get on with it. ~ Greg James

As a poet, there is only one political duty, and that is to defend one's language from corruption. ~ W. H. Auden

Joy is the most important Christian emotion. Duty calls only when gratitude fails to prompt. ~ William Sloane Coffin

A lawyer once told a jury that the person his client stood accused of having killed was about to walk through the courtroom door. When the jurors looked startled, the lawyer asserted that if those jurors had wondered, even for one second that the victim might appear, that belief constituted enough reasonable doubt for them to find his client innocent. ~ John Adams

It's my duty as a guardian to protect Cross Academy, day and night. ~ Yuki

Everybody living at the orphanage . . . are fully convinced of the selection of men to salvation ex absoluto decreto. . . . They claim to find much comfort and refreshment in this theory that serves the Roman heresy (secus sentientes roman.); yes, they would even say that they cannot look upon a person as converted who does not believe it. I showed my pity for them and told them of our dogma, sufficiently well founded in Holy Scriptures, of the everlasting, impartial love of God in Jesus Christ to all mankind and held up to them some evident verses . . . which they answered in a shallow manner. Since they pray that God may convert all the children entrusted to them and lead them to salvation, I asked them whether they believe that God would like to have those children saved.

Their answer was that they did not know, but it was their duty to make such intercession. However, I showed them: 1. that they, with their theory, do not have any joy in praying for the salvation of all men. 2. If they would do it and wished for all men to be helped, then their love would have to be greater than the love of God, who nevertheless effects this impartial and general love in them. 3. Their prayer was against the will and command of God: God has, according to their opinion, decided from eternity, by virtue of His sovereignty and great power, to let only a few be saved and these alone and no others to be redeemed by Christ. How could they now pray (without acting against the will of ~ Johann Martin Boltzius

Duties are what make life most worth living. Lacking them, you are not necessary to anyone. ~ Marlene Dietrich

A vote for change is a vote for a stronger, safer, healthier America. A vote for Bush is a vote for a divided, unstable, paranoid America. It is our duty to this beautiful land to let our voices be heard. That's the reason for the tour. That's why I'm doing it. ~ Dave Matthews

How does one measure bravery? I suppose one starts by looking at the difference between what you are naturally inclined to do, and what your sense of duty tells you you should do. Courage is what it costs you to cover the deficiency. ~ Ian Gardiner

I believe that the supreme duty of the historian is to write history, that is to say, to attempt to record in one sweeping sequence the greater events and movements that have swayed the destinies of man. ~ Steven Runciman

Perhaps it is better to be a machine that does its duty than a flesh-and-blood person who will not, for a dead truth is better than a live falsehood. ~ L. Frank Baum

If we lacked curiosity, we should do less for the good of our neighbor. But, under the name of duty or pity, curiosity steals into the home of the unhappy and the needy. Perhaps even in the famous mother-love there is a good deal of curiosity. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

It is a narrow policy to suppose that this country or that is to be marked out as the eternal ally or the perpetual enemy of England. We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow. ~ Lord Paulmerston

Life is a warfare; and he who easily desponds deserts a double duty
he betrays the noblest property of man, which is dauntless resolution; and he rejects the providence of that All-Gracious Being who guides and rules the universe. ~ Jane Porter

I do a program called Fast Twitch twice a week, basically my lifting and strength training, I'm working with a spine specialist, which has been a new addition for me since my surgery to really get some great support for my shoulder, and I really love the way my body feels. It takes the pressure off my lower back and kind of just shares duties, really, with my body. ~ Kerri Walsh

I believe Congress has a duty to do so as well; not simply as a body of legislators, but more importantly as a community of friends, neighbors, parents and Americans. ~ Jim Walsh

Fine Knacks for Ladies

Fine knacks for ladies, cheap, choice, brave and new!
Good pennyworths! but money cannot move.
I keep a fair but for the fair to view.
A beggar may be liberal of love,
Though all my wares be trash, the heart is true.

Great gifts are guiles and look for gifts again;
My trifles come as treasures from the mind.
It is a precious jewel to be plain;
Sometimes in shell the Orient's pearls we find.
Of others take a sheaf, of me a grain.

Within this pack pins points laces and gloves,
And diverse toys fitting a country fair.
But in my heart, where duty serves and loves,
Turtles and twins, court's brood, a heavenly pair.
Happy the heart that thinks of no removes! ~ John Dowland

Good evening, Lord Corwin,' said the lean, cadaverous figure who rested against a storage rack, smoking his pipe, grinning around it.
Good evening, Roger. How are things in the nether world?'
A rat, a bat, a spider. Nothing much else astir. Peaceful.'
You enjoy this duty?'
He nodded.
I am writing a philosophical romance shot through with elements of horror and morbidity. I work on those parts down here. ~ Roger Zelazny

Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't. Please do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love you more if you do. Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don't. Please do not do as I request if you will feel shameful. And certainly do not do as I request out of any sense of duty or obligation. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

In the long run, success or failure will be
conditioned upon the way in which the average man, the average women, does his or her duty, first in the ordinary, every-day affairs of life, and next in those great occasional cries which call for heroic virtues. The average citizen must be a good citizen if our republics are to succeed. The stream will not permanently rise higher than the main source; and the main source of national power and national greatness is found in the average citizenship of the nation. ~ Theodore Roosevelt