Joseph Estrada Funny Quotes

I hope that the truth shall eventually give me back my freedom. ~ Joseph Estrada

There is only one government in the Philippines and that is how it will stay, ~ Joseph Estrada

My detention has been worth every second if only to prove my innocence to those who truly matter most my countrymen. ~ Joseph Estrada

My term ends in June 2004 and I have no intention to change that, ~ Joseph Estrada

I will prove my innocence, ... I guarantee the Filipino people that I will be vindicated because the truth is on my side. ~ Joseph Estrada

Peace, ... is crucial, because my government aims to hasten Mindanao's development by transforming it into the country's food basket. ~ Joseph Estrada

We have to change the system. The system is very rotten. The executive is corrupt, the Congress is corrupt, the judiciary is corrupt ... So what's left We really have to have a radical and surgical change to bring back the image of our country. ~ Joseph Estrada

The downsides of globalization are indeed painful, ... But taking the bigger pills against its ills is superior to living inside a sterile bubble. ~ Joseph Estrada

The truth will come out in the end. ~ Joseph Estrada

I'm convinced I will be cleared of all these charges that were unfairly leveled against me. ~ Joseph Estrada

Philippine President Joseph Estrada said he was saddened by the conviction. It's very unfortunate and what happened is saddening, ... If he really is innocent, then the day will come that his name will be cleared. ~ Joseph Estrada

I lisp. My eyes disappear when I smile. My voice is funny. I don't sing like Judy Garland. I don't dance like Cyd Charisse. But women identify with me. And while men desire Cyd Charisse, they'd take me home to meet Mom. ~ June Allyson

Tex, you look like a serial killer in this picture!" I shouted.
"Yeah, so?" Tex answered.
I stared.
"You think people wouldn't pay good money to have a serial killer make them coffee?" he boomed. ~ Kristen Ashley

I am not one to turn down macaroni and cheese, even late at night. I love Italian food. I love pasta ... A refrigerator full of water and Gatorade? Honey, that's just not gonna happen. ~ Queen Latifah

A theology that endangers life rather than "giving life" is one that cannot accept the title of being adequately Christian. ~ Michael Joseph Brown

Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings. ~ Dave Attell

How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee? ~ William Shakespeare

Trying to be funny is one of the hardest things on the planet. I think that's tough for everyone. If you're just naturally funny it's a hell of a lot easier. ~ Doc Brown

The conjunction of ruling and dreaming generates tyranny. ~ Michael Joseph Oakeshott

I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming! ~ Chelsea Handler

I mean, I don't want to pass judgment - I just wish my husband didn't shoot deer."
"Oh, Mel, don't worry. I've been hunting with your husband - the deer are completely safe. ~ Robyn Carr

When in doubt, know your way out, I always say."
"I thought you always said, 'When in doubt, blame the dark elves.'"
"Well, yeah, that too."
Oberon said. ~ Kevin Hearne

I stay fat because it just wouldn't be fair to all the thin people if I were this good-looking, intelligent, funny, and thin. It's a public service really. ~ Rebel Wilson

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap. ~ Bob Monkhouse

Social structures, types and attitudes are coins that do not readily melt. Once they are formed they persist, possibly for centuries, and since different structures and types display different degrees of this ability to survive, we almost always find that actual group and national behavior more or less departs from what we should expect it to be if we tried to infer it from the dominant forms of the productive process. ~ Joseph Alois Schumpeter

High school is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship - nor, contrary to popular belief, an anarchic state. High school is a divine-right monarchy. And when the queen goes on vacation, things change. ~ John Green

Lenin and Stalin created the idiosyncratic Soviet system in the image of their ruthless little circle of conspirators before the Revolution. Indeed much of the tragedy of Leninism-Stalinism is comprehensible only if one realizes that the Bolsheviks continued to behave in the same clandestine style whether they formed the government of the world's greatest empire in the Kremlin or an obscure little cabal in the backroom of a Tiflis tavern. ~ Simon Sebag Montefiore

Generally speaking, it has been my ambition to write as a good old nurse will speak when she tells fairy tales. ~ Joseph Jacobs

After a while he became disagreeably affected by the sight of the roadway thronged with vehicles and of the pavement crowded with men and women. He was in a long, straight street, peopled by a mere fraction of an immense multitude; but all round him, on and on, even to the limits of the horizon hidden by the enormous piles of bricks, he felt the mass of mankind mighty in its numbers. They swarmed numerous like locusts, industrious like ants, thoughtless like a natural force, pushing on blind and orderly and absorbed, impervious to sentiment, to logic, to terror, too, perhaps.
That was the form of doubt he feared most. Impervious to fear! Often while walking abroad, when he happened also to come out of himself, he had such moments of dreadful and sane mistrust of mankind. What if nothing could move them ? Such moments come to all men whose ambition aims at a direct grasp upon humanity -- to artists, politicians, thinkers, reformers, or saints. A despicable emotional state this, against which solitude fortifies a superior character. ~ Joseph Conrad

I was shot from the funny gun. ~ Peter DeLuise

Learning to live in the spirit of prayer hour by hour decorates your life with insight and blessings ~ Ikechukwu Joseph

It's so funny whenever things come full circle. ~ Swoosie Kurtz

It's funny when you get married, you do find other couples to hang out with. ~ Jennifer Lopez

I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid. ~ Paris Hilton

He's back! He's back!"
"Who's back?" shouted someone else. "Who is it?"
"What does it mean? What should we do?"
"Are we on fire?"
"Get up and run, damn it! Everybody get up and run! ~ Joseph Heller

Somebody had tipped the American continent like a pinball machine and all the goofballs had come rolling to LA in the southwest corner. I cried for all of us. There was no end to the American sadness and the American madness. Someday we'll all start laughing and roll on the ground when we realize how funny it's been. ~ Jack Kerouac

You can find tea in a tea cup.. but cannot find world in a world cup. ~ Arjuna Ranatunga

Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.
'I was trying to make up the sofa bed so you could get some rest,' he explained, and pointed to the second sofa across the room. 'Unfortunately, it would appear that that is the sofa bed, and this, apparently, is just a sofa. ~ Derek Landy

I wish I had only offered you
a sovereign instead of ten pounds. Give me back nine pounds, Jane; I've a use for it.'
'And so have I, sir,' I returned, putting my hands and my purse behind me. 'I could not spare the money on any account.'
'Little niggard!' said he, 'refusing me a pecuniary request! Give me five pounds, Jane.'
'Not five shillings, sir; nor five pence.'
'Just let me look at the cash.'
'No, sir; you are not to be trusted. ~ Charlotte Bronte

But that's not what I'm trying to tell you," Violet said, her eyes taking on a slightly determined expression. "What I'm trying to say is that when you were born, and they put you into my arms - it's strange, because for some reason I was so convinced you would look just like your father. I thought for certain I would look down and see his face, and it would be some sort of sign from heaven."

Hyacinth's breath caught as she watched her, and she wondered why her mother had never told her this story. And why she'd never asked.

"But you didn't," Violet continued. "You looked rather like me. And then - oh my, I remember this as if it were yesterday - you looked into my eyes, and you blinked. Twice."

"Twice?" Hyacinth echoed, wondering why this was important.

"Twice." Violet looked at her, her lips curving into a funny little smile. "I only remember it because you looked so deliberate. It was the strangest thing. You gave me a look as if to say, 'I know exactly what I'm doing.' "

A little burst of air rushed past Hyacinth's lips, and she realized it was a laugh. A small one, the kind that takes a body by surprise.

"And then you let out a wail," Violet said, shaking her head. "My heavens, I thought you were going to shake the paint right off the walls. And I smiled. It was the first time since your father died that I smiled."

Violet took a breath, then reached for her tea. Hyacinth watched as her mother co ~ Julia Quinn

You're ruining that book!" He pointed to the page I'd torn out. "That's a perfectly good book!" Holding his gaze, I reached down and ripped another page out. "I'm making roses." "Well, it's my book." "Sorry." I tore out another. ~ Kate Avery Ellison

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release. ~ Joaquin Phoenix

What is love? Love is when your heart has a raging boner. ~ Oliver Markus Malloy

There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home. ~ Stephen Colbert