John Oliver Community Quotes

Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness. ~ John Oliver

Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people. ~ John Oliver

Drumpf is like a Magic 8-Ball. Every time you shake him, he gives you a different answer. ~ John Oliver

There is no greater anesthetic than sport. ~ John Oliver

I would hate to meet myself at 15. ~ John Oliver

People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. ~ John Oliver

Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect. ~ John Oliver

Americans just don't understand dry wit. ~ John Oliver

The Negro was invented in America. ~ John Oliver Killens

You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent. ~ John Oliver

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.' ~ John Oliver

It really helps a comedian to be an outsider. ~ John Oliver

Young people are at risk of being disinherited from their community if that community lacks the courage and confidence to teach its history. ~ John Howard

Some men never recover from education. ~ Oliver St. John Gogarty

It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. ~ John Oliver

It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge. ~ John Oliver

Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. ~ John Oliver

Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. ~ John Oliver

You know that things are not going well when you lose the moral high ground to a TMZ reporter, ~ John Oliver

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath. ~ John Oliver

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death ~ John Oliver

the houses much smaller and meek and timid and nondescript, and even the trees were scantily clad. ~ John Oliver Killens

There is more than a verbal tie between the words common, community, and communication. ~ John Dewey

It is essential to view learning as a total community responsibility, ~ John Abbott

We live in an era with no real sense of community or connection to nature. ~ John Zerzan

Politics has become infused with narcissism in America. ~ John Oliver

Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you. ~ John Oliver

We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound. ~ John Oliver

The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. ~ John Oliver

Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury. ~ John Oliver

I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician. ~ John Oliver

Economics is like the Dutch language - I'm told it makes sense, but I have my doubts. ~ John Oliver

I can't relax. I find vacations problematic. ~ John Oliver

Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. ~ John Oliver

We live out our call most fully when we are a community of faith with arms wrapped about a community of pain. ~ John M. Perkins

I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything. ~ John Oliver

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. ~ John Oliver

When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance. ~ John Oliver

When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. ~ John Oliver

Integration begins the day after the minds of the people are desegregated. ~ John Oliver Killens

The best food I've ever eaten in my life has come from the poorest communities. ~ Jamie Oliver

Mass society has displaced real community, where people function together and account for their own lives. ~ John Zerzan

God has decided, for his own good reasons, that people are not transformed outside of community. ~ John Ortberg

It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be. ~ John Oliver

The disconnect between America and its military is shocking. ~ John Oliver

I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in! ~ John Oliver

We can continue to make significant strides in the scientific community by exploring new stem cell research methods that do not include destroying human embryos. ~ John Boehner

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional. ~ John Oliver

I love the Sonoma wine community. It's like Pixar - nothing competitive, only supportive. They're always rooting for you. ~ John Lasseter

Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper. ~ John Oliver

If a community values its children, it must cherish its mothers. ~ John Bowlby

I want Britain to punch its weight in the European Community. ~ John Major

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love. ~ John Oliver

I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. ~ John Oliver

If a queen bee were crossed with a Friesian bull, would not the land flow with milk and honey? ~ Oliver St. John

The fight for freedom must go on until it is won; until our country is free and happy and peaceful as part of the community of man, we cannot rest. ~ Oliver Tambo

The Christian community is a community of the cross, for it has been brought into being by the cross, and the focus of its worship is the Lamb once slain, now glorified. ~ John Stott

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job. ~ John Oliver

Sanctification is a community project. ~ John Piper

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world. ~ John Oliver

I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would. ~ John Oliver

I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. ~ John Oliver

We must delight in each other, make others conditions our own, rejoice together, mourn together, labor and suffer together, always having before our eyes our commission and community in the work, our community as members of the same body. ~ John Winthrop

You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. ~ John Oliver

I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go. ~ John Oliver

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being. ~ John Oliver

There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. ~ John Oliver

A Southern accent is not a club in my bag. ~ John Oliver

I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life. ~ John Oliver

Jihad is holy struggle, a legitimate tenet of Islam, meaning to purify oneself or one's community. ~ John O. Brennan

I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it. ~ John Oliver

We are all members of a larger community which depends on everyone playing a part. ~ John Molson

If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. ~ John Oliver

The Negro loves America enough to criticize her fundamentally. Most white Americans simply can't be bothered. ~ John Oliver Killens

Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way. ~ John Oliver

Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. ~ John Oliver

If you've been here, in New York, it has been dominated by the UN General Assembly, the annual event where delegates come from all over the world to f*** up this city's traffic. ~ John Oliver

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or rather the hashish. ~ Oliver St. John

There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes. ~ John Oliver

The German language is so sonorous, isn't it? Beautiful language ... the language of poetry. Angry, angry poetry. ~ John Oliver

Mr. President, no one is saying you broke any laws, we're just saying it's a little bit weird you didn't have to. ~ John Oliver

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. ~ John Oliver

When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing. ~ John Oliver

If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. ~ John Oliver

What is left that only the family can do? According to the new economy - nothing. The leading view today is 'It Takes a Village,' that even love can be outsourced to teachers, coaches, clubs and mentors. The truth is that it does take a village, a community, but a community of families working, playing, cooperating and facing obstacles together, not a community of government institutions. ~ Oliver DeMille

There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. ~ John Oliver

The common characteristics of people make a community possible, but it is their uncommon qualities that make it better. ~ John Henry Fischer

Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve. ~ John Oliver Killens

The school must be "a genuine form of active community life, instead of a place set apart in which to learn lessons". ~ John Dewey

If I am wrong and you are right then the democratic process of the Australian community will vindicate you and condemn me. ~ John Howard

Arkansas is a curious and interesting community ... it is probably the most untouched and unawakened of all American states. ~ John Gunther

The original of morals lies with the thought that 'the community is more valuable than the individual' (Menschliches 2.1.89 ~ John Carroll

Men of integrity, by their very existence, rekindle the belief that as a people we can live above the level of moral squalor. We need that belief; a cynical community is a corrupt community. ~ John W. Gardner

A community of Jesus which seeks to hide itself has ceased to follow him. ~ John R.W. Stott

I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have. ~ John Oliver

By tearing down the wall between law enforcement and the intelligence community, we have been able to share information in a way that was virtually impossible before the Patriot Act. ~ John Ashcroft

We have to undo the millions of little white lies that America told itself and the world aboutthe American Black man. ~ John Oliver Killens

When results are shared freely amongst the biological community, as has been done for the worm and the Human Genome Projects, specialist scientists can move much more rapidly towards their goals. ~ John Sulston

Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word. ~ John Oliver

Do you know how hard it is to kill 30 million people? It's a logistical nightmare. ~ John Oliver