Jatt Funny Quotes

Be nice. Funny. Smart. Generous. Kind. Feed your body with good food. Your soul with good friends. And your mind with new things. ~ Jillian Dodd

Pops gave him a cool stare that settled Tom down - a thing not always easy to do. "Son, do you know what history is?"
"Uh ... stuff that happened in the past?"
"Nope," he said, trying on his canvas change-belt. "History is the collective and ancestral shit of the human race, a great big and ever growing pile of crap. Right now, we're standin at the top of it, but pretty soon we'll be buried under the doodoo of generations yet to come. That's why your folks' clothes look so funny in old photographs, to name but a single example. And, as someone who's destined to buried beneath the shit of your children and grandchildren, I think you should be just a leetle more forgiving. ~ Stephen King

The more you complain the longer God lets you live ~ Bertrand Russell

Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too. ~ Reba McEntire

Life is an absolute Dream... then I wake up. ~ Jane

You. Me. Exorcist.
-Bones ~ Jeaniene Frost

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin. ~ Charles Dickens

Sam came around the side of the car and stopped dead when he saw me. "Oh my God, what is THAT?" I used my thumb and middle finger to flick the multicolored pom-pom on top of my head. "In my language, we call it a HAT. It keeps my ears warm." "Oh my God," Sam said again, and closed the distance between us. He cupped my face in his hands and studied me. "It's horribly cute." He kissed me, looked at the hat, and then he kissed me again. I vowed never to lose the pom-pom hat. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

The train gives off an earsplitting insect hum. It seems like you're watching something physically impossible, like a person lifting a house, or hearing a joke so funny the laughter threatens to rip you apart, and then, with a puff of air, it's over. When ~ Matthew Amster-Burton

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. ~ Mark Twain

Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses. ~ Bauvard

Why ban guns? Let's give everyone a rocket launcher! What could possibly go wrong? ~ Oliver Markus Malloy

The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it. ~ Alan Coren

Smashed fly or the dead pig, gone stiff in the sun. It made his stomach feel funny even trying. "I don't think it's fair we've got to do Luke's chores now," Luke's other brother, ~ Margaret Peterson Haddix

I have a beard. Just not on my face ... ~ Craig Ferguson

Travel and society polish one, but a rolling stone gathers no moss, and a little moss is a good thing on a man. ~ John Burroughs

He[Crystal's father] had found my height amusing, referring to me as his "little girl" at every opportunity even though I could see the bald patch on top of his head fringed by curls when we stood side by side. ~ Joss Stirling

His beard was nonexistent, except for a carefully trimmed goatee that met his mustache on both sides of his mouth.
The overall effect was decidedly villainous. He needed a black horse and a barbarian horde to lead. That or a crew of cutthroats, a ship with blood-red sails, and some knucklehead heroine to lust after.
"Look, I've had a bad day. How about you just walk away from my Jeep?"
The volhv smiled wider, flashing even white teeth.
If he started stroking his beard, I'd have to kill him on principle."He raised his hand to his goatee.
That does it.
"Yeah. And what's with the beard and the horse mane? You look like Rent-a-Villain. ~ Ilona Andrews

Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. ~ Michael Gambon

An empty skull is the vanitas symbol of modern education. ~ Bauvard

Katherine would later reason that if anything were going to take away her beautiful, funny, precious older sister, it would be that her heart was so big, it exploded. ~ Mitch Albom

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff-box from an emperor. ~ Lord Byron

Sometimes funny is all you've got. ~ Amy Harmon

Dude," I said low. "All cornfields are haunted. Trust me. I know." Then I came up on my elbows so I was closer to him and I said quietly, "They whisper to you." ~ Kristen Ashley

Yep those are goosebumps. Or a bad case of arm acne. Or as I call it, armcne. ~ Daniel Waters

One of the pitfalls about writing about illness is that it is very easy to imagine people with cancer as either these wise-beyond-their-years creatures or these sad-eyed tragic people. And the truth is, people living with cancer are very much like people who are not living with cancer. They're every bit as funny and complex and diverse as anyone else. ~ John Green

Clubs rattled behind them. Skeet Cooper rubbed the corner of his mouth with his thumb and rose from the bench. "Looks like Kenny's caddy's here."
Dallie lifted an eyebrow as his son stepped up on the tee carrying Kenny's bag.
Ted smiled. "Sorry I'm late. Mom made me eat breakfast. Then she started fussing with my hair, don't ask me why."
Dallie took the driver Skeet handed him. "Funny you didn't mention that you were going to caddy for Kenny today."
"Must have forgot." Ted smiled and shifted the bag. "I told Skeet."
Dallie shot Skeet an annoyed look that didn't bother Skeet one bit. Kenny gestured toward the tee. "Be my guest. I believe in showing respect for the elderly and the infirm. ~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

What people like are things to laugh at. Funny shows. It's all in the execution, the writing and the characters, not the setting. And the writing and the execution and the characters are GREAT on (Everybody Loves Raymond). ~ Joe Rogan

She never sat down in a car but stood, braced tense, facing the wind. Now and again she would turn her face toward me with an apologetic expression as though to say: "I have not forgotten that you are here but there are certain pleasures I cannot share with you." Her nose never ceased its sensitive quivering. ~ Mazo De La Roche

It's funny to have become an elegant skier now. But my drive is still the same. ~ Hermann Maier