Jasper Quotes

What do you miss, Jasper? How much do you miss it and in what increments? How large are your lost puzzle pieces? Do you want to find them? ~ Helena Fox

And he gave me a smile that looked as though it had come from a hastily-read handbook on cultivating personal charm. ~ Jasper Fforde

Information can liberate but also imprisonate. ~ Jasper Fforde

Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books. ~ Jasper Fforde

Did the memory erasure device work, Uncle?"
"The what?"
"The memory erasure device. You were testing it when I last saw you."
"Don't know what you're talking about, dear girl. ~ Jasper Fforde

Businessman, philanthropist, large egg. ~ Jasper Fforde

That's the big difference between [the BookWorld] and [the RealWorld]," said Plum. "When things happen after a randomly pointless event, all that follows is simply unintended consequences, not a coherent narrative thrust that propels the story forward."
I rolled the idea of unintended consequences around in my head. "Nope, I said finally, "you've got me on that one."
"It confuses me, too," admitted Plum, "but that's the RealWorld for you. A brutal and beautiful place, run for the most part on passion, fads, incentives, and mathematics. A lot of mathematics. ~ Jasper Fforde

I hate to admit it, but governmental deviousness is usually better explained by incompetence, vanity, and the need to protect one's job at all costs. ~ Jasper Fforde

To espresso or to latte, that is the question ... whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain ... or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream, or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache ... ~ Jasper Fforde

Love and magic are like oil and water
they just don't mix. ~ Jasper Fforde

What would you know about anything, Jasper?" Augustus asked. "Age don't slow a man's whoring. It's lack of income that does that. No more prosperous than you look, I wouldn't think you'd know much about it. ~ Larry McMurtry

She looked at Rose sitting between Jasper and Prue. How odd that one's child should do that! How odd to see them sitting there, in a row, her children, Jasper, Rose, Prue, Andrew, almost silent, but with some joke of their own going on, she guessed, from the twitching at their lips. It was something quite apart from everything else, something they were hoarding up to laugh over in their own room ... There was all that hoarded behind those rather set, still, mask like faces, for they did not join in easily; they were like watchers, surveyors, a little raised or set apart from the grown-up people. ~ Virginia Woolf

Sometimes your destiny takes you to dark places where you'd rather not be, but destiny, as they say, is destiny. ~ Jasper Fforde

Staying awake in the winter requires considerable pantry, a lot of luck, warm clothes, and several dozen good books. ~ Jasper Fforde

I beg your pardon, Mr. Cross, but in this conversation, you are superfluous."
He gave her his most frightening stare. "I assure you, I am anything but that."
"Am I right in understanding that you have neither the time nor the inclination to speak to me at this particular moment?"
She had backed him into a corner. "Yes."
She smiled. "There it is, then. As I find myself with both, I believe I shall begin my research now. Without you." She turned her back on him. ~ Sarah MacLean

His expression was composed; there was only the slightest hardening of his topaz eyes. 'She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, she thinks, near his former. . .family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back.' He sighed. 'It's got her worried. ~ Stephenie Meyer

London thou art a jewel of jewels, & jasper of jocunditie -- music, talk, friendship, city views, books, publishing, something central & inexplicable. ~ Virginia Woolf

The hardest mistakes to learn from are those that lack consequence. ~ Jasper Sole

History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with
it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times. ~ Jasper Fforde

Perhaps fantasy offers imaginative escapism more than other genres. ~ Jasper Fforde

She used to only play "Help Yourself," but now she only plays "Delilah." Is that normal?
"It's not unusual. ~ Jasper Fforde

Eli's a good kid, Jasper. Too good for the likes of me. He deserves better."
Jasper shot him a penetrating look. "What he deserves is a nice dame, but seeing as how that ain't in the cards, you're the next best thing." "Wow." Jessie stared in disbelief. "No one's ever insulted me with a compliment before. That's some talent you got there, Jasper. ~ Charlie Cochet

Fanfiction isn't copying - it's a celebration. One long party, from the first capital letter to the last full stop! ~ Jasper Fforde

I started writing because I wanted to write scripts, but I wasn't very good at it. Then I started writing short stories, sort of as treatments for the film scripts, and I found I enjoyed writing short stories far more than I enjoyed writing film scripts. Then the short stories got longer and longer and suddenly, I had novels. ~ Jasper Fforde

She had large, questioning eyes that seemed to draw me in and a sense of quiet outrage that simmered just beneath the surface. More than anything, within her features, there was a streak of wild quirkiness that made her dazzlingly attractive. ~ Jasper Fforde

I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit. ~ Jasper Carrott

For his part, Jazz knew he was handsome. It had nothing to do with looking in the mirror, which he rarely did. It had everything to do with the way the girls at school looked at him, the way they became satellites when he walked by, their orbits contorted by his own mysterious gravity. If attention could be measured like the Doppler effect, girls would show a massive blue shift in his presence. In the last year or so, he had even remarked the scrutiny of older women - teachers, cashiers at stores, the woman who delivered UPS packages to his house. What had once been a maternal flavor in their glances had taken on a lingering, cool sort of appraisal. He could almost hear them thinking, Not yet. But soon.
Despite his upbringing, despite the infamy of his father, they still watched him. Or maybe because of it. Maybe Howie was right about bad boys. ~ Barry Lyga

Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception. ~ Jasper Fforde

A Quarkbeast is a small hyena-shaped creature that is covered in leathery scales and often described as: 'One tenth Labrador, six-tenths velociraptor and three-tenths kitchen food blender. ~ Jasper Fforde

It's simple. If you go to see 'Saturday Night Fever' expecting it to be good, it's a corker. However, if you go expecting it to be a crock of shit, it's that, too. Thus 'Saturday Night Fever' can exist in two mutually opposing states at the very same time, yet only by the weight of our expectations. From this principle we can deduce that any opposing states can be governed by human expectation - even, as in the case of retro-deficit-engineering, the present use of a future technology."
"I think I understand that. Does it work with any John Travolta movie?"
"Only the artistically ambiguous ones such as 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Face/Off.' 'Battlefield Earth' doesn't work, because it's a stinker no matter how much you think you're going to like it, and 'Get Shorty' doesn't work either, because you'd be hard-pressed not to enjoy it, irrespective of any preconceived notions. ~ Jasper Fforde

Humans are the most gloriously bizarre creatures. ~ Jasper Fforde

Said by Maltcassion the Dragon:
"Humans," he scoffed. "Always so inquiring about stuff. Never satisfied with the status quo. It will be your downfall, but oddly enough, it´s also one of your more endearing features."
"Do we have any otheres?"
"Oy yes, plenty. ~ Jasper Fforde

We try to make art perfect because we never manage it in real life ~ Jasper Fforde

I love this country. I loved it the first time I came here, back in 1963. I love it because it's free. My mother escaped from Nazi Germany; the rest of her family never made it. The first thing Hitler did was take over the press and make it subservient to the government. Lenin did the same." Jasper had drunk a few glasses of wine, and as a result he was a shade more candid. "America is free because it has disrespectful newspapers and television shows to expose and shame presidents who fuck the Constitution up the ass." He raised his glass. "Here's to the free press. Here's to disrespect. And God bless America. ~ Ken Follett

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert. ~ Jasper Fforde

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing. ~ Jasper Fforde

I decided that if my work contained what I could identify as a likeness to other work, I would remove it.' ~ Jasper Johns

There is a contract between the reader and the writer. The readers give me their hard-earned cash, and I have to entertain them. ~ Jasper Fforde

Take an object. Do something to it. Do something else to it. ~ Jasper Johns

Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them. ~ Jasper Carrott

My Gullah grandfather is bringing a bag of dust to a vampire war. I feel better. ~ Elle Jasper

Now, Jasper, as a great man once said, 'A brave and steadfast heart can overcome any fear.' So don't worry. I'll be back with Benelaius shortly. In the meantime, look about for clues, only don't disturb anything.
[ ... ]
I knew only too well who that great man was whom he spoke of. Camber Fosrick. I had committed the quote to memory as well. So Lindavar, one of the War Wizards of Cormyr, was addicted to trashy literature too. I would have chuckled had I not been so scared. ~ Chet Williamson

He had found that all snails have the capacity to do over one hundred miles per hour and find their way to a given location with pinpoint accuracy, but didn't because they were horribly lazy and couldn't be bothered. ~ Jasper Fforde

I was driving, which might have been unusual anywhere but here in the Kingdom of Hereford, which was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age. That explained why I'd had a license since I was thirteen, while some were still failing to make the grade at forty. ~ Jasper Fforde

What was it you told me before you crossed back here the last time? Ah, yes. I think it went along the lines of 'geez, Jasper, it's way safer over there than over here!'" His sky blue eyes were filled with amusement. "The last time you crossed, I found you on the verge of being raped. Now this time around, we're here just over amonth and you manage to get held up at knifepoint. ~ Mireille Chester

I love it when you use my full name. ~ Elle Jasper

After all, color in itself has no color - it's simply a construction of the mind: a sensation, like the Humming Chorus from Madame Butterfly and the smell of honeysuckle. ~ Jasper Fforde

She didn't take it well, I guess," Jasper said. "Hard to deliver that kind of news."
"No ... no, you don't understand. But then you haven't met her." Slowly Rule looked up, relief blooming inside. He felt like he had as a small child, waking from some terrible nightmare to find his father's hand on his shoulder. The sudden bone-deep reassurance wasn't logical, wasn't reasonable. But it was real. "It's okay. It's good. Grandmother is coming. ~ Eileen Wilks

I turn to Jasper. "What do you think? Do we hurry up so we can leave with them?"

"The oxen go faster, more consistently, when they see other wagons in front of them. And I know we've had our disagreements with those men, but all in all, I want to believe they're decent specimens of humanity. If something were to happen to one of our wagons, they'd no sooner leave us behind to die than we would them."

I hope he's right.
I turn to Jasper. "What do you think? Do we hurry up so we can leave with them?"

"The oxen go faster, more consistently, when they see other wagons in front of them. And I know we've had our disagreements with those men, but all in all, I want to believe they're decent specimens of humanity. If something were to happen to one of our wagons, they'd no sooner leave us behind to die than we would them."

I hope he's right. ~ Rae Carson

Don't anyone move ... I think we've driven into a mimefield. ~ Jasper Fforde

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all. ~ Jasper Fforde

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank. ~ Jasper Carrott

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable. ~ Jasper Fforde

Your parenting skills are much like bad porn, the kids are watching but they aren't getting much out of it. ~ Dawn Jasper

Mind you, if we we're talking about regeneration, we could go a step further and take a leaf out of the sponge book. There are sponges you can chop to pieces, whiz up in the blender, and then press through a sieve, but they'll still regenerate."
"Useful, maybe," I replied, "but I think there is a limit to the amount of fun you could have as a sponge. ~ Jasper Fforde

Good thing no one but the dead would see my hiniesca (high-nee-sca is a juvenile, made-up word for ass, and I use it frequently) ~ Elle Jasper

Sorry.
Sorry means you feel the pulse of other people's pain as well as your own, and saying it means you take a share of it. And so it binds us together, makes us trodden and sodden as one another. Sorry is a lot of things. It's a hole refilled. A debt repaid. Sorry is the wake of misdeed. It's the crippling ripple of consequence. Sorry is sadness, just as knowing is sadness. Sorry is sometimes self-pity. But Sorry, really, is not about you. It's theirs to take or leave.
Sorry means you leave yourself open, to embrace or to ridicule or to revenge. Sorry is a question that begs forgiveness, because the metronome of a good heart won't settle until things are set right and true. Sorry doesn't take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It's an offering. A gift. ~ Craig Silvey

Yet the stones remain less real to those who cannot name them, or read the mute syllables graven in silica. To see a red stone is less than seeing it as jasper metamorphic quartz, cousin to the flint the Kiowa carved as arrowheads. To name is to know and remember. ~ Dana Gioia

I am by turns a petulant adolescent and a mature man, a melancholy loner and a wit telling actors their trade. I cannot decide whether I'm a philosopher or a moping teenager, a poet or a murderer, a procrastinator or a man of action. I might be truly mad or sane pretending to be mad or even mad pretending to be sane. ~ Jasper Fforde

Like I said - I wasn't stupid. Rough around the edges maybe, definitely a little perverted at times, but never stupid. I was a survivor. I'd damn well survive this. ~ Elle Jasper

Miltons were, on the whole, the most enthusiastic poet followers. A flick through the London telephone directory would yield about four thousand John Miltons, two thousand William Blakes, a thousand or so Samuel Colleridges, five hundred Percy Shelleys, the same of Wordsworth and Keats, and a handful of Drydens. Such mass name-changing could have problems in law enforcement. Following an incident in a pub where the assailant, victim, witness, landlord, arresting officer and judge had all been called Alfred Tennyson, a law had been passed compelling each namesake to carry a registration number tattooed behind the ear. It hadn't been well received
few really practical law-enforcement measures ever are. ~ Jasper Fforde

My body is extremely long "My body is extremely long, but very, very thin, and many eyes watch in surprise as I wriggle in. "Only once I zigger-zag to find my place of rest, and then again some extra strain - I'm pulled and tugged and stretched! "Two times a day at least, we meet, or maybe three or more. and many a way throughout the day I'm in and out the door. "I am important in my place, lose me and you're forlorn. but cats are pleased when I am freed, and across the floor I'm drawn!" When ~ Jasper Cooper

A vinal shine turns over shades of cerulean and jasper from her expressive lips, revealing a jewel-like surface beneath a light that remains colorfast in a kiss composed of infinite grace. Being in a state of rest, Nadia still makes me the center of attention, dovetailing in an erotic entwinement that impels me to knead her coiling flex. Her resplendent fullness macerated into my bosom now grants me a restful anodyne, enabling the allay of my inner soul. ~ Luccini Shurod

She was the sort of parent you would want to have living close by, but only on the grounds that she would then never come to stay. I loved her dearly, but in small doses. ~ Jasper Fforde

He moved closer, crowding her back into the darkness. He didn't touch her, but strangely, it didn't matter. He was close enough to feel, tall and lean and ever so warm. "But you're going to wager now, Pippa, aren't you?"
He was muddling her brain and making it very difficult to think clearly. She took a deep breath, the scent of sandalwood wrapping around her, distracting her.
She shouldn't say yes.
But somehow, oddly, she found she couldn't say no.
She reached for the dice, where they lay small and white in his broad palm. Touched them, touched him- the brush of skin against fingertips sending sensation coursing through her. She paused at the feeling, trying to dissect it. To identify it. To savor it. But then he was gone, his hand falling away, leaving her with nothing but the ivory cubes, still warm from his touch.
Just as she was.
Of course, the thought was ridiculous. One did not warm from a fleeting contact. It was the stuff of novels. Something her sisters would sigh over.
He moved, stepping back and extending one arm toward the hazard field. "Are you ready?" His voice was low and soft, somehow private despite the cavernous room. ~ Sarah MacLean

To do a drawing for a painting most often means doing something very sketchy and schematic and then later making it polished. ~ Jasper Johns

You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposite. 'Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe. ~ Jasper Fforde

It's somewhat bizarre to learn that many of you think that other humans are somehow different enough to be hated and killed when in reality you're all tiresomely similar in outlook, needs and motivation, and differ only by peculiar habits, generally shaped by geographical circumstances. ~ Jasper Fforde

What tempts you, Pippa?"
"I-" She hesitated. "I care a great deal for meringue."
He laughed, the sound bigger and bolder than she expected.
"It's true."
"No doubt you do. But you may have meringue anytime you like." He stood back and indicated that she should enter the carriage.
She ignored the silent command, eager to make her point. "Not so. If the cook has not made it, I cannot eat it."
A smile played on his lips. "Ever-practical Pippa. If you want it, you can find it. That's my point. Surely, somewhere in London, someone will take pity upon you and satisfy your craving for meringue."
Her brow furrowed. "Therefore, I am not tempted by it?"
"No. You desire it. But that's not the same thing. Desire is easy. It's as simple as you wish to have meringue, and meringue is procured." He waved a hand toward the interior of the carriage but did not offer to help her up. "In."
She ascended another step before turning back. The additional height brought them eye to eye. "I don't understand. What is temptation, then?"
"Temptation..." He hesitated, and she found herself leaning forward, eager for this curious, unsettling lesson. "Temptation turns you. It makes you into something you never dreamed, it presses you to give up everything you ever loved, it calls you to sell your soul for one, fleeting moment."
The words were low and dark and full of truth, and they hovered in the silence for a long moment, an undeniable invitation. He w ~ Sarah MacLean

I had learned from my own father's death many years ago that the end of one's life and dying are two very different things indeed, and took solace in that. ~ Jasper Fforde

Class clowns become actors. ~ Jasper Fforde

What is without dispute ... is that the readers need [the BookWorld] just as much as we need them - to bring order to their apparent chaos, if nothing else. ~ Jasper Fforde

Just walk through him," I said, still deep in thought. "and if you ever wanted to know how a moose works, just stop halfway and take a good look around. ~ Jasper Fforde

The crystal trees among them were hung with glass-like trellises of moss. The air was markedly cooler, as if everything was sheathed in ice, but a ceaseless play of light poured through the canopy overhead. The process of crystallization was more advanced. The fences along the road were so encrusted that they formed a continuous palisade, a white frost at least six inches thick on either side of the palings. The few houses between the trees glistened like wedding cakes, white roofs and chimneys transformed into exotic miniarets and baroque domes. On a law of green glass spurs, a child's tricycle gleamed like a Faberge gem, the wheels starred into brilliant jasper crowns. ~ J.G. Ballard

Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them. ~ Jasper Fforde

The verses of Byron, Keats or Poe are real whether they are in bootleg form or not. You can still read them for the same effect. ~ Jasper Fforde

My experience of life is that it's very fragmented; certain kinds of things happen, and in another place, a different kind of thing occurs. I would like my work to have some vivid indication of those differences. ~ Jasper Johns

Writing is not something you can do or you can't. It's not even something that 'other people do' or 'for smart people only' or even 'for people who finished school and went to University'. Nonsense. Anyone can do it. But no-one can do it straight off the bat. Like plastering, brain surgery or assembling truck engines, you have to do a bit of training - get your hands dirty - and make some mistakes. ~ Jasper Fforde

Well, few men love the truth or even regard facts so dearly as to let either one upset their picture of the world. Poor Galileo, poor John Jasper; they persecuted one and laughed at the other, but both were witnesses for the truth they professed. ~ Ralph Ellison

This must have been how it all began with Chymes," sighed Jack. "A small
omission on one case, an 'embellishment' on the next. The question is not about
what's best but what's right. Chymes had confused the two and compromised not
only his own integrity but that of the police - and the due process of law. ~ Jasper Fforde

Personally I have a great deal of fun doing it, which is an inspiration in itself really. It really allows me to daydream, as in "schooldream" which is daydreaming with ink and get paid for it which is something I don't say to schools when I go in and talk to them. ~ Jasper Fforde

Marcel Duchamp, one of this century's pioneers, moved his work through the retinal boundaries which had been established with Impressionism into a field where language, thought and vision act upon one another. There it changed form through a complex interplay of new mental and physical materials, heralding many of the technical, mental and visual details to be found in more recent art ... He declared that he wanted to kill art ("for myself") but his persistent attempts to destroy frames of reference altered our thinking, established new units of thought, a "new thought for that object". ~ Jasper Johns

My experience with life is that it's very fragmented. In one place certain kinds of thing occur, and in another place a different kind of thing occurs. I would like my work to have some vivid indication of those differences. I guess, in painting, it would amount to different kinds of space being represented in it. ~ Jasper Johns

How anybody can compose a story by word of mouth face to face with a bored-looking secretary with a notebook is more than I can imagine. Yet many authors think nothing of saying, 'Ready, Miss Spelvin? Take dictation. Quote no comma Sir Jasper Murgatroyd comma close quotes comma said no better make it hissed Evangeline comma quote I would not marry you if you were the last person on earth period close quotes Quote well comma I'm not so the point does not arise comma close quotes replied Sir Jasper twirling his moustache cynically period And so the long day wore on period End of chapter.'
If I had to do that sort of thing I should be feeling all the time that the girl was saying to herself as she took it down, 'Well comma this beats me period How comma with homes for the feebleminded touting for custom on every side comma has a man like this succeeded in remaining at large mark of interrogation. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

Besides" - Jasper smiled, teeth pearly white and predatory - "it'll be a cold day in hell when I complain about having a hot piece like you in my bed. ~ Melissa Grey

Though his death would not fill me with any sense of sadness, I would probably feel the loss. Even enemies are part of one. ~ Jasper Fforde

Then there were the general moral duties: not to commit adultery or fornication, not to stay out late at night after 8 p.m. frequenting inns and brothels, and not to play cards except during the Twelve Days of Christmas. ~ Jasper Ridley

You are an astronomer as well as a mathematician?"
He turned to face her, finally, half his face cast into shadowy light from the manor beyond. "You are a horticulturalist as well as an anatomist?"
She smiled. "We are surprising, aren't we?"
His lips twitched. "We are. ~ Sarah MacLean

Governments might come and go, wars will reshape the Ununited Kingdoms many times. But companies will stay, and flourish. Show me any major even on this planet and I will show you the economic reason behind it. Commerce is all powerful, Miss Strange. Commerce rules our lives. ~ Jasper Fforde

People who read my books have an open mind when it comes to new, bizarre, interesting and exciting ideas. ~ Jasper Fforde

I can get a table at the Inn Uendo. The maîtred' is missing a space, and I promised to give her one. ~ Jasper Fforde

During the depression, people fought each other for boxes of groceries and if you were lucky you might get a few shillings for fighting six rounds. When Jack Johnson was World Heavyweight Champ, back in the early 1900s, Hartlepool had a brilliant boxer called Jasper Carter. People today will never have heard of him, but almost 100 years ago he put Hartlepool on the fistic map. ~ Stephen Richards

Well, each interpretation of an event, setting or character is unique to each of those who read it because they clothe the author's description with the memory of their own experiences. Every character they read is actually a complex amalgam of people they've met, read or seen before - far more real than it can ever be just from the text on the page. Because every reader's experiences are different, each book is unique for each reader. ~ Jasper Fforde

Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index. ~ Jasper Fforde

Don't you think it's the people that make a place feel like home? ~ Kristin Cashore

Before I tell you my story," Jasper said. "you must understand that there are places in our world, Bella, where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries. ~ Stephenie Meyer

Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world. ~ Jasper Fforde

In the creative industries, there are few things more exciting than a zinger - a thought, idea, line, plot device - anything really, that just totally works in a fundamentally new and fresh way. It's like a uniquely lovely melody or a new taste idea in cooking. Something special, something new, something wonderful. They're also very rare. ~ Jasper Fforde

According to naturalists, the dragon belonged to the animal kingdom for sure, almost definitely to the vertebrates, and was as likely as not a reptile. Other ~ Jasper Fforde

Vanity's contribution to Fiction in general was an abundance of cheap labour and the occasional blockbuster, which was accepted into Fiction with an apologetic 'gosh, don't know how that happened'. ~ Jasper Fforde