Jacqlyn Lancaster Quotes

No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract. ~ Jen Lancaster

I learned to glitter the pumpkins for Halloween not because I went into it thinking, 'I'm going to glitter some pumpkins!' No. I bought all of these big, cold, slimy, disgusting pumpkins and tried to carve them, and it was gross, so I had to find something else to do with them. Glitter was life-changing. ~ Jen Lancaster

I can clean my own house. Now, maybe a couple of times a year we have a cleaning crew come in before we have a party, but otherwise, I'm able to maintain it myself. ~ Jen Lancaster

The first 'Wii Fit' games I tried were the slalom and ski jumping. I believe my spectacular failures here had more to do with the board resting on thick carpet than my shoddy balance. ~ Jen Lancaster

The thought of you being removed from the rotation is not funny to me. ~ John Green

Those subjects have the greatest educational value, which are richest in incentives to the noblest self-activity. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

I am pretty unextraordinary, ~ Hazel Grace Lancaster. ~ John Green

I really do believe that being naturally beautiful is what is inside and what shines through. ~ Penny Lancaster

What we enjoy, not what we possess, is ours, and in labouring for the possession of many things, we lose the power to enjoy the best. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

The first requisite of a gentleman is to be true, brave and noble, and to be therefore a rebuke and scandal to venal and vulgar souls. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

You know how it's almost impossible for kids to not say what they think? That's me. I have to make the conscious effort to be situationally appropriate. ~ Jen Lancaster

Those who believe in our ability do more than stimulate us. They create for us an atmosphere in which it becomes easier to succeed. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

In a personal way, to do with family and the father-son relationship, in a kind of artistic way with regard to him being an art student. I also studied the visual arts at Lancaster University. I then decided to become an actor as he was becoming a musician. And then as an actor/performer, we have similar sort of interests - music hall and that whole world. So, there's a lot that I felt connected with. ~ Andy Serkis

Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and
mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome. ~ Jen Lancaster

Like it. And, hey, why do I have so much sand in my crotch? Okay, ~ Jen Lancaster

If every piece is perfect the room becomes a museum and lifeless. ~ Nancy Lancaster

A system of education, which would not gratify this disposition in any party, is requisite, in order to obviate the difficulty, and the reader will find a something said to that purpose in perusing this tract. ~ Joseph Lancaster

The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Do I miss the package I came in at 25? I do. Gravity is no one's friend. Yet the perspective I've gained is so worth the wear and tear. What would have mortified me at 25 is now simply fodder for a funny, relatable story. Also? I was a waitress at 25, and now I'm an author. Forty-five is definitely better. ~ Jen Lancaster

They were fun days, and we set the town on fire with every movie we did. ~ Burt Lancaster

The goal of the training journey is transformation and not information. ~ Daniel Lancaster

Viewed in abstractions, love is the same thing for everybody. It thrills the same way, and devastates with bloodless efficiency. ~ Craig Lancaster

If I were a lesbian and had a thing for narcissistic ex-sorority girls? I'd totally do me.
Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office: A Memoir ~ Jen Lancaster

If I am not pleased with myself, but should wish to be other than I am, why should I think highly of the influences which have made me what I am? ~ John Lancaster Spalding

Reality television gave me an amazing feeling of moral and intellectual superiority without actually requiring any effort past moving the dogs to find the remote. ~ Jen Lancaster

We were each other's rock. But did it make us each other's destiny? ~ Rachel Hawthorne

It is the expensiveness of our pleasures that makes the world poor and keeps us poor in ourselves. If we could but learn to find enjoyment in the things of the mind, the economic problems would solve themselves. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

Education would be a divine thing, if it did nothing more than help us to think and love great thoughts instead of little thoughts. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

To recount these histories is like unravelling a thread: one means only to tell one little part, but then another comes in, and another, for they are all part of the same garment - Tudor, Lancaster, York, Plantagenet. ~ Margaret George

He is a cat, Miss Lancaster. Asking him such questions is an exercise in futility. ~ Jim Butcher

If I had a partner who asked when I was going to the gym or commented that I was eating too much or asked if I really needed an extra potato, that would make me feel awful. It would be terrible. ~ Penny Lancaster

As long as you try your best, that is all that matters. You don't have to be the fastest runner or top of the class. ~ Penny Lancaster

The teacher does best, not when he explains, but when he impels his pupils to seek themselves the explanation. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

States of soul rightly expressed, as the poet expresses them in moments of pure inspiration, retain forever the power of creating like states. It is this that makes genuine literature a vital force. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

If science were nothing more than the best means of teaching the love of the simple fact, the indispensable need of verification, of careful and accurate observation and statement, its value would be of the highest order. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

I was born and raised in Lancaster, Pennsylvania - in Amish Country! ~ Jonathan Groff

Forgive the cliche, but friends are truly the family you choose. ~ Jen Lancaster

I liked Augustus Waters. I really, really, really liked him. I liked the way his story ended with someone else. I liked his voice. I liked that he took existentially fraught free throws. I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointment in the Department of Having a Voice That Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin. And I liked that he had two names. I've always liked people with two names, because you get to make up your mind what you call them: Gus or Augustus? ~ John Green

You think you're so cool just because you can walk! ~ Jen Lancaster

I mean, six years ago my electricity's being cut off and my car's getting repossessed and I'm being evicted from my apartment, and now I'm all Yeah, havin' dinner with Rudy in the Hamptons, what of it? ~ Jen Lancaster

Funerals, I decided, are for the living. - Hazel Grace Lancaster ~ John Green

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place ~ Hal Lancaster

Female schools might be comprised in the list of those worthy the public patronage, with great propriety. ~ Joseph Lancaster

Work, mental or manual, is the means whereby attention is compelled, it is the instrument of all knowledge and virtue, the root whence all excellence springs. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

Now with social media, people essentially come into my living room, my virtual living room, and tell me everything that is wrong with me. ~ Jen Lancaster

The rose," he announced. "Loveliest and most formidable of flowers. Arms of York and Lancaster. In medieval times, a symbol of Jesus. Always, it has meant, beauty, love, peace ..."
He presented the bud to Martha Macnamara. It lay resting on his long fingers until she scooped it up. She sniffed it and held it up to the light.
"Symbol? What's a symbol? This is a rose." She smiled and walked on,. ~ R.A. MacAvoy

eBay is a fine place to unload your Prada bag when you're in a desperate situation and it's exactly what the doctor ordered when searching for a specific item, say an authentic 1965 edition of the game Mystery Date. eBay is a very, very bad place to go if you're a hypercompetitive asshole with a penchant for spite bidding. ~ Jen Lancaster

I have not seen a man over there, and so I wonder whether my neighbor has a husband or her boy has a father. I would be sad to think that he doesn't, but having a father isn't necessarily a good thing. I have one, and while he did buy this house for me to live in, he also has his lawyer send me a lot of letters and may not have given any thought to radiant floor heating. ~ Craig Lancaster

The doctrine of the utter vanity of life is a doctrine of despair, and life is hope. ~ John Lancaster Spalding