Jacking Off Quotes

Collection of famous quotes and sayings about Jacking Off.

Quotes About Jacking Off

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I was walking home alone late one night, when out of nowhere, this rabid homosexual jumped me and bit me right on the ass. I tried to fight him off, but you know those homos have superhuman strength. Anyway, he bit me on my left cheek, then took off. The whole thing shook me up, but I thought I was gonna be okay. It took me a few weeks to notice the changes. At first the signs were subtle: the sudden urge to redecorate my room, the uncontrollable desire to do Megan's hair. Then, as the phases of the moon progressed, I noticed other things: the need to wear lace panties, the insane hope of one day owning my own flower shop. Before I knew it, I was jacking off six times a day to pictures of Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe. Of course, I won't be a full fledged gay boy until I bite someone else and pass on the 'dark gift. Hey, Rooster, you wanna be my first convert? If I turn just four people, I win like a toaster oven or something.. ~ Sara Bell
Jacking Off quotes by Sara Bell
They want to hold onto something they never had in the first place. Anybody who claims to have some interest in me as an individual artist or even as part of the Beatles has absolutely misunderstood everything I ever said if they can't see why I'm with Yoko. And if they can't see that, they don't see anything. They're just jacking off to - it could be anybody. Mick Jagger or somebody else. Let them go jack off to Mick Jagger, okay? I don't need it. ~ John Lennon
Jacking Off quotes by John Lennon
I know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so! ~ Sarah Silverman
Jacking Off quotes by Sarah Silverman
We're looking at eight straight months of chaqueta."
"Chaqueta? Jacket?" Reid translated with a frown.
"No, man." Garcia grinned, fisting his hand and mimicking jacking off. ~ Victoria Vane
Jacking Off quotes by Victoria Vane
If Mrs. Morton would stop verbally jacking off her husband and son, this would all be done so much more quickly, but then Chess figured it was just about the only sex the woman got. ~ Stacia Kane
Jacking Off quotes by Stacia Kane
Here is joy and neglect. A little mescal. A little jacking off, but mostly just work. - This is how I live, I am thinking. ~ Patti Smith
Jacking Off quotes by Patti Smith
The very fact of being human panics us into the most grotesque play-acting imaginable; and we deal in absurdities to keep life from being a total waste, like one constant jacking-off party. ~ Hal Bennett
Jacking Off quotes by Hal Bennett
What were you doing in there?" she asked, unwilling to let it go.
... "Jacking off, naturally." She narrowed her eyes but seemed to be happy with that answer. Good to know. She was going to make a fabulous wife. ~ Karina Halle
Jacking Off quotes by Karina Halle
KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command-including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you. Good luck.
-The Chief ~ Hunter S. Thompson
Jacking Off quotes by Hunter S. Thompson
You never sleep," Mick said. "Beside the point. I might've been busy doing other things." "Like jacking off?" "I have people who do that for me," Prophet sniffed. ~ S.E. Jakes
Jacking Off quotes by S.E. Jakes
Because after you've crossed some lines, you just keep crossing them. And there's no escaping from constant escape. Distracting ourselves. Avoiding confrontation. Getting past the moment. Jacking off. Television. Denial. ~ Chuck Palahniuk
Jacking Off quotes by Chuck Palahniuk
Their handshake looked, for the first split-second he looked, like C.T. was jacking off and the little girl was going Sieg Heil. ~ David Foster Wallace
Jacking Off quotes by David Foster Wallace
Dr. Nicole Martin." Riker felt Myne's eyes boring into him. "She's alive?"
"Apparently." A shiver of hatred slithered up Riker's spine.

Until last week, when he'd seen a newspaper article glorifying the return of the Martin heir, he'd believed only one member of the godforsaken immediate family, Charles, was alive. "After the rest of the Martins were slaughtered in the rebellion, she was sent to Paris to live with her mother's relatives until she was old enough to work in Daedalus's French division as a vampire physiologist."

The mere mention of the infamous Seattle Slave Rebellion made Myne's voice degenerate into gravel. "And she's here now?" Riker nodded at the female in the window. "Right there and all grown up. And if you're done jacking off your dagger, we'll go have a chat with her."

"You think she'll cooperate?" Hell no. She was a Martin, after all, current CEO of the company that had revolutionized vampire slavery and used vampires like lab rodents to advance human medicine. Daedalus went through vampires like a slaughterhouse went through cattle, and Riker doubted the company held to any kind of "humane" standards. "For her sake," Riker said slowly, "I hope so. ~ Larissa Ione
Jacking Off quotes by Larissa Ione
Callan took a deep breath. "I never expected you." He shook his head with an edge of amusement. "You are a dangerous woman, Merinus Tyler."
"Naw, just a determined woman." She grinned against his shoulder. "I know a good thing when I see it jacking off. ~ Lora Leigh
Jacking Off quotes by Lora Leigh
He'd probably spent as much time practicing scales as he had jacking off. ~ Tara Kelly
Jacking Off quotes by Tara Kelly
Proximity to the device tempted him, a muted siren's call to undress, open the coffin-like lid and climb into the lukewarm saline solution, to plug his interface jack in, sheathe his genitals in the waste catch and sink down into the glorious rush of jacking in. He missed the freefall adrenaline of consciousness translated into pure data, of his body rendered in liquid mercury, shifting and changing with his every thought. He missed the thrill of cracking databank security, of running from anti-intrusion software and other hackers. ~ Gary A. Ballard
Jacking Off quotes by Gary A. Ballard
Zach glanced out the window to what had to be the quietest town he'd ever been in. "Big gang problem around here? Lots of cow jacking?"
"We have all sorts pass through our little town, thank you very much. Bikers. Cowboys. The always dangerous rodeo clowns."
"Rodeo clowns?"
"Don't ask."
Zach shrugged. "I don't want to know."
"Any other condescending questions about my town?"
"Oh, I'm not being condescending. I'm very interested in your tiny little town, with its tiny little people. I bet you guys even have a movie theater."
Sara barked out a laugh. "You certainly are a charmer. ~ Shelly Laurenston
Jacking Off quotes by Shelly Laurenston
From inside his room Reacher heard the lawn chair scrape across the blacktop, but he paid no attention. Just a random nighttime sound, nothing dangerous, not a shotgun jacking a round, not the hiss of a blade on a sheath, nothing for his lizard brain to worry about. And the only non-lizard possibilities were a lace-up footstep on the sidewalk outside, and a knock on the door, because the woman from the railroad seemed like a person with a lot of questions, and also some kind of expectation they should be answered. Who are you and why have you come here? ~ Lee Child
Jacking Off quotes by Lee Child
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