Irs Llc Quotes

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Let's abolish the IRS, let's eliminate income tax, let's eliminate corporate tax, let's balance the federal budget, and if we need a tax, it can be one federal consumption tax. ~ Gary Johnson

The biggest threat to the American people today lies with the United States government ... [T]he long-term solution is to dismantle, not reform, the iron fist of the welfare state and the controlled economy. This includes the end (not the reform) of the IRS, the DEA, the BATF, the SEC, the FDA, HUD, the departments of HHS, Labor, Agriculture, and energy, and every other agency that takes money from some and gives it to others or interferes with peaceful behavior. ~ Jacob G. Hornberger

I have not done anything wrong. I have not broken any laws. I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations and I have not provided false information to this or any other committee. ~ Lois Lerner

Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS. ~ Gene Perret

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference. ~ Emo Philips

I'd once overheard my daddy tell my momma that the six Winston boys had inherited their father's ability to charm snakes, the IRS, and women. ~ Penny Reid

The theory of the IRS is rather repugnant to me because the assumption is made that I, the government, owns 100% of your income and I permit you to keep 5%, 10% or 20%. You're vulnerable, you've sold out. The government can take 80% if they want, which they did at one time. ~ Ron Paul

Previous presidents, including great ones like Roosevelt, have used the IRS against their enemies. But I don't think Barack Obama ever wanted to be on the same page as Richard Nixon. ~ Joe Klein

You must buy health insurance or pay the new Gestapo - the IRS. ~ Paul LePage

The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form. ~ Dave Barry

Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding. ~ Jay Leno

I've never really had a hobby, unless you count art, which the IRS once told me I had to declare as a hobby since I hadn't made money with it. ~ Laurie Anderson

The American public overwhelmingly regrets ObamaCare, our veterans are dying waiting to see doctors, the IRS intimidates conservative groups, the southern border is compared to a sieve and the president assures us not to worry - smiling, golfing and at this very moment partying ... Because the fundraising never stops - not when four Americans die in Benghazi, and not when Baghdad is at the brink. ~ Megyn Kelly

She liked to steal - so what. She could kill without blinking - again, so what. It wasn't like she worked for the IRS or anything - Bianka ~ Gena Showalter

Children entering or in kindergarten will take the Level A exam, which has Pattern Completion and Reasoning by Analogy questions. ~ Testing Mom LLC

A competitive threat is not the same thing as an antitrust violation ... It is difficult to make out FairSearch's precise antitrust arguments. There are alternatives to ITA's software: both the GDSs but also upstarts such as the U.K.'s Everbread Ltd., which has relationships with 60 low-cost carriers, and Vayant Travel Technologies LLC of New York. It isn't clear, therefore, that competition would be reduced even if Googled didn't honor ITA's contracts with other travel companies. ~ Peter Gallagher

My family was always very supportive. Whether you're an actor or not, everybody hears the horror stories of people going to L.A. and trying to be an actor, and their dreams are crushed, and they end up working for the IRS. So they were always protective to the point that they wanted me to have a backup plan, which is understandable, but there was always something inside of me that knew: backup plan, schmackup plan. ~ Zachary Levi

When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet, are (1) "failure to include a current address," and (2) "failure to be a large industry that gives humongous contributions to key tax-law-writing congresspersons." ~ Dave Barry

So let me get this straight – this is a long sentence. We are going to be gifted with a health care plan that we are forced to purchase, and fined if we don't, which reportedly covers 10 million more people without adding a single new doctor, but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents, written by a committee whose chairman doesn't understand it, passed by Congress, that didn't read it, but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a president who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, for which we will be taxed for four years before any benefits take effect, by a government which has bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese and financed by a country that is broke. So what the blank could possibly go wrong? ~ Barbara Bellar

I read about a John Shelby of Thackham, England, who in 1672 was thrown from his horse into a thicket where he found an iron pot containing more than five hundred gold coins. According to the treasure trove laws of England, all hidden or lost property belonged to the Crown. However, Shelby refused to give the gold to the king's officers, and he was arrested, tried for treason, and beheaded. This was probably a favorite story of the IRS. ~ Nelson DeMille

Finally, the House is working to require a comprehensive federal review of IRS regulations with a follow-up report to Congress on possible actions to reduce the tax paperwork burden imposed on small businesses. ~ Michael K. Simpson

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform. ~ Russell B. Long

Top IRS officials specifically targeted tea party groups and misled the public about its secret political targeting program led by ex-official Lois Lerner, according to a bombshell new congressional report. ~ Patrick Howley

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS. ~ Robert T. Bakker

I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling. ~ Ron Barrier

The money was going to come and go, between a wife and the IRS. The thrill of beating the best field in golf is what will always stay with me. ~ Calvin Peete

Many people remember to include miles to their clients or vendors. However, what about those trips to the office supply store, bank, post office? These miles add up. Do not forget the miles! ~ Jeffrey A. Schneider

'Tax Collector' was optioned for a series with F/X, but it never happened. I guess they ran into a problem trying to figure out why someone would tune in to watch a show about a guy who works for the IRS. ~ Rick Yancey

Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten ~ George Bramwell, 1st Baron Bramwell

Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents. ~ Conan O'Brien

The idea of receiving a letter from the IRS is not a pleasant one for anyone. What makes it worse is the confusion, the fear, the assumptions and the thoughts of all the worst-case scenarios that can make you feel like you have a tidal wave of stress. ~ Jeffrey Schneider EA CTRS NTPIF

I heard about this man who fell into a pit, and while he was down there several people came by and offered their opinions. The Pharisee said, "You deserve to be in the pit." The Catholic said, "You need to suffer while you're in the pit." The Baptist said, "If you'd been saved, you wouldn't have fallen into the pit." The charismatic said, "Just confess I'm not in the pit." The mathematician said, "Let me calculate how you fell into the pit." The IRS agent said, "Have you paid taxes on that pit?" The optimist said, "Things could be worse." The pessimist said, "Things will get worse. ~ Joel Osteen

Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my favorite IRS commissioners, I think his name was Roscoe somebody, wrote that one of the most often-asked questions by taxpayers was, "How can I contribute more?" Well, I tell ya, ol' Roscoe's really been doing situps under parked cars again. I've heard a lot of people ask a lot of questions about taxes, but I never heard anybody say, "How can I, the ordinary person, send more money for no reason?" ~ Dave Barry

You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being taxed; you're taking a plunge on a fly-by-night stock issue. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list ~ Milton Berle

We don't want the efficiency of the federal government and the compassion of the IRS to run our health care. ~ Todd Akin

The IRS has become morally corrupted by the enormous power which we in Congress have unwisely entrusted to it. Too often it acts like a Gestapo preying upon defenseless citizens. ~ Edward V. Long

The IRS takes your money. Congress uses our money to arm our enemies. The IRS takes more of your money. Congress uses that money to fight the enemies Congress just armed. ~ Justin Amash

From the IRS standpoint, 15,000 new employees have to be added just to, you know, administer ObamaCare and look at the tax implications. ~ Jeff Fitzgerald

Churches are tax exempt because they are supposed to provide a public good. To prove that good to the IRS, churches arent supposed to hoard their money. They are supposed to spend it on goods and services for the faithful. Under this pretense, the church has made massive investments in tax free real estate all over the world. And when it comes to labor costs, they are almost free. ~ Lawrence Wright

Its contempt for citizens ... is so routine, and so unlimited, that the agency has become a kind of Frankenstein, running wild and terrorizing Americans at will. The IRS hypocritically requires mistake-free returns when its own books are in shambles. It demands exorbitant sums of money without regard to the accuracy of its claims. It doesn't hesitate to use every possible maneuver to get what it wants, sometimes destroying businesses
and lives
in the process. ~ James Bovard

I should hex the IRS. ~ Laura Oliva

I'd learned how to handle a gun before I was fully potty trained. ~ Diane Kelly

No matter what federal program one selects - Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the drug war, the income tax and the IRS, education, foreign interventions and wars - they are all a giant mess. ~ Jacob G. Hornberger

Rather than passing a thousand pages of tax reform legislation and restarting the tax code manipulation process, we should change the paradigm. It is time to eliminate the IRS and repeal the 16th Amendment. ~ Jim Bridenstine

Low-income taxpayers deserve the same rights as everyone else. It was wrong of the IRS to target low-income taxpayers, and I am please by the decision to correct this unfair practice. ~ Christopher Dodd

The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference. ~ Emo Philips

All we have to do now is to inform the public that the payment of social security taxes is voluntary and watch the mass exodus. ~ Walter E. Williams