Intelligent Joke Quotes

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Quotes About Intelligent Joke

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Government disinformation is an intelligent joke for smart generation. ~ Toba Beta
Intelligent Joke quotes by Toba Beta
One evening, Mike Myers and Steven Spielberg were discussing 'Goldmember,' and I just happened to joke, 'If you need a Japanese character, let me know!' The next day, they called me for audition! I find it's always helpful to maintain a sense of humour. ~ Nobu Matsuhisa
Intelligent Joke quotes by Nobu Matsuhisa
A big group of daily friends or a white painted house with bills and mirrors, are not a necessity to me - but an intelligent conversation while sharing another coffee, is. ~ Charlotte Eriksson
Intelligent Joke quotes by Charlotte Eriksson
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. ~ Socrates
Intelligent Joke quotes by Socrates
Was it last month or last year
that the ambulance ran like a hearse
with its siren blowing on suicide -
Dinn, dinn, dinn! -
a noon whistle that kept insisting on life
all the way through the traffic lights?

I have come back
but disorder is not what it was.
I have lost the trick of it!
The innocence of it!
That fellow-patient in his stovepipe hat
with his fiery joke, his manic smile -
even he seems blurred, small and pale.
I have come back,
recommitted,
fastened to the wall like a bathroom plunger,
held like a prisoner
who was so poor
he fell in love with jail. ~ Anne Sexton
Intelligent Joke quotes by Anne Sexton
Most arguments people have begin with joke. ~ Shen Fu
Intelligent Joke quotes by Shen Fu
I know that. I just don't feel it sometimes. Over there I felt like I
hadn't a care in the world. Things felt so good and it was almost as
if every muscle in my body relaxed the moment I landed there. I
haven't laughed so much in years. I felt like a 23-year-old, Steph. I
haven't felt like that much lately. I know this probably sounds weird
but I felt like the me that I could have been.
I liked that I didn't have to look out for somebody else while I
walked down the street. I didn't have the fifty near heart attacks per
day that I usually get when Katie goes missing or puts something in
her mouth that she shouldn't. I didn't have to dive onto the road
and hold her back just in time from being hit by a car. I liked that I
didn't have to give out, correct people on their pronunciation or
make threats. I liked laughing at a joke without my sleeve being
tugged at and being asked to explain. I liked having adult conversations
without being interrupted to cheer and applaud a silly dance
or the learning of a new word. I liked that I was just me, Rosie, not
mummy, thinking just about me, talking about things I liked, going
places I liked to go without having to worry about nappy changes,
bottle feeding or sleepy-head tantrums. Isn't that awful? ~ Cecelia Ahern
Intelligent Joke quotes by Cecelia Ahern
Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You're going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don't care who. You can't make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America. ~ Johnny Carson
Intelligent Joke quotes by Johnny Carson
My Selection wasn't a farce, but it wasn't that far off. My father chose all the
contestants by hand, picking young women with political alliances, influential families, or enough
charm to make the entire country worship the ground they walked on. He knew he had to make it
varied enough to seem legit, so there were three Fives thrown into the mix but nothing below that.
The Fives were meant to be little more than throwaways to keep anyone from being suspicious."
I realized my mouth was gaping open and shut it immediately. "Mom?"
"Was meant to be gone almost immediately. Truth be told, she barely made it past my father 's
attempts to sway my opinion or remove her himself. And look at her now." His whole face changed.
"Though it was hard for me to imagine, she is even more beloved as queen than my mother. She has
made four beautiful, intelligent, strong children. And she has been the source of every happiness in
my life. ~ Kiera Cass
Intelligent Joke quotes by Kiera Cass
Culturally intelligent innovation begins with changing our impulse from Why can't you see it like I do? to Help me see what I might be missing! ~ David Livermore
Intelligent Joke quotes by David Livermore
The Nazis, he had written in his latest, are wedded to a sort of aesthetico-moral fallacy, which is that if a man has blond hair, blue eyes and strong features, then he will also be brave, loyal, intelligent and so on. They truly believe that goodness has some causal relationship with beauty. Which is idiotic, yes, but no more idiotic than you are, Egon. When you see a girl like Adele Hitler with an innocent, pretty face, can you honestly tell me you don't assume she must be an angelic person? Even though it makes about as much sense as astrology. ~ Ned Beauman
Intelligent Joke quotes by Ned Beauman
I have never understood why they tried to start the revolution by taking over the universities. It should have been self-evident that the net result of success would be to close the universities but leave the nation unaffected
at least, for quite a long time. Nor do I find it easy to believe that the rebels, as intelligent as most of them were, seriously expected that they could keep the universities alive as corporate bodies, once they had control of them, if they made the fundamental alterations in organization and role that they proposed to. ~ Muriel Beadle
Intelligent Joke quotes by Muriel Beadle
For the moment, machines able to 'think' in anything approaching a human sense remain science-fiction. How we should prepare for their potential emergence, however, is a deeply unsettling question - not least because intelligent machines seem considerably more achievable than any consensus around their programming or consequences. ~ Tom Chatfield
Intelligent Joke quotes by Tom Chatfield
Behind my office, to the south-east, was Police Headquarters, and I imagined all the good hard work that was being done there to crack down on Berlin's crime. Villainies like speaking disrespectfully of the Führer, displaying a 'Sold Out' sign in your butcher's shop window, not giving the Hitler Salute, and homosexuality. That was Berlin under the National Socialist Government: a big, haunted house with dark corners, gloomy staircases, sinister cellars, locked rooms and a whole attic full of poltergeists on the loose, throwing books, banging doors, breaking glass, shouting in the night and generally scaring the owners so badly that there were times when they were ready to sell up and get out. But most of the time they just stopped up their ears, covered their blackened eyes and tried to pretend that there was nothing wrong. Cowed with fear, they spoke very little, ignoring the carpet moving underneath their feet, and their laughter was the thin, nervous kind that always accompanies the boss's little joke. ~ Philip Kerr
Intelligent Joke quotes by Philip Kerr
To work for libertarianism - to oppose the growth of government and aid the liberation of the individual - used to be an idealistic choice taken for purely idealistic reasons. Now it is an act of intelligent and almost desperate self-defense. ~ Robert Anton Wilson
Intelligent Joke quotes by Robert Anton Wilson
They are dark angels . . . Intelligent and cunning and manipulative. They bear the knowledge of thousands of years of life. Like angels, they have the face of the divine, but they turned away from it. Thy have chosen darkness, and that choice reverberated through eternity. ~ Cassandra Clare
Intelligent Joke quotes by Cassandra Clare
Life is not a discrete phenomenon it is a part of an intelligent cosmic field. It is a cosmic dance. ~ Amit Ray
Intelligent Joke quotes by Amit Ray
He's just intelligent-sort of a nerd, actually. He's the only brother I know who made a 1420 on the SAT. I don't think Chris Dudley did that, and Mr. Smarty Pants went to Yale. Kobe doesn't hang out. He doesn't go to the clubs. He doesn't ride around. He doesn't put rims on his car. He's just him. He's a sophisticated kid. Damn mature for his age. ~ Shaquille O'Neal
Intelligent Joke quotes by Shaquille O'Neal
When we find someone who is brave, fun, intelligent, and loving, we have to thank the universe. ~ Maya Angelou
Intelligent Joke quotes by Maya Angelou
The world has held great Heroes,
As history-books have showed;
But never a name to go down to fame
Compared with that of Toad!

The clever men at Oxford
Know all that there is to be knowed.
But they none of them know one half as much
As intelligent Mr. Toad!

The animals sat in the Ark and cried,
Their tears in torrents flowed.
Who was it said, 'There's land ahead?'
Encouraging Mr. Toad!

The army all saluted
As they marched along the road.
Was it the King? Or Kitchener?
No. It was Mr. Toad.

The Queen and her Ladies-in-waiting
Sat at the window and sewed.
She cried, 'Look! who's that handsome man?'
They answered, 'Mr. Toad.'

There was a great deal more of the same sort, but too dreadfully conceited to be written down. These are some of the milder verses. ~ Kenneth Grahame
Intelligent Joke quotes by Kenneth Grahame
I needed time to stand back and go through a lot more experience in life. Then I have something to write about, joke or to animate. ~ Howie Mandel
Intelligent Joke quotes by Howie Mandel
Norman Cousins, endeavoring in his essay Modern Man Is Obsolete to express the deepest feelings of intelligent people at that staggering historical moment, wrote not about how to protect one's self from atomic radiation, or how to meet political problems, or the tragedy of man's self-destruction. Instead his editorial was a meditation on loneliness. "All man's history," he proclaimed, "is an endeavor to shatter his loneliness. ~ Rollo May
Intelligent Joke quotes by Rollo May
She was - of course - perfectly normal -
quiet and polite and
reasonably
intelligent and...normal and
self destructive and lonely
and terrified of every
thing
And she loved
Disaster - ~ Tah The Trickster
Intelligent Joke quotes by Tah The Trickster
I've met so many parents of the kids who are on the low end of the autism spectrum, kids who are diametrically opposed to Jacob, with his Asperger's. They tell me I'm lucky to have a son who's verbal, who is blisteringly intelligent, who can take apart the broken microwave and have it working again an hour later. They think there is no greater hell than having a son who is locked in his own world, unaware that there's a wider one to explore. But try having a son who is locked in his own world and still wants to make a connection. A son who tries to be like everyone else but truly doesn't know how. ~ Jodi Picoult
Intelligent Joke quotes by Jodi Picoult
God's great, holy joke about the messiah complex is this: Every human being who has ever lived has suffered from it--except one. And he was the Messiah. ~ John Ortberg
Intelligent Joke quotes by John Ortberg
As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thirds of your life, you know the value of a good joke. ~ Karen DeCrow
Intelligent Joke quotes by Karen DeCrow
The puruṣa is an intelligent principle, of which consciousness (caitanya) is not an attribute, but the very essence. It is the self which is quite distinct from the body, the senses and the mind (manas). ~ Satischandra Chatterjee
Intelligent Joke quotes by Satischandra Chatterjee
Homunculi are bogeymen only if they duplicate entire the talents they are rung in to explain. If one can get a team or committee of relatively ignorant, narrow-minded, blind homunculi to produce the intelligent behaviour of the whole, this is progress. ~ Daniel Dennett
Intelligent Joke quotes by Daniel Dennett
Many intelligent people, when about to write ... , force on their minds a certain notion about style, just as they screw up their faces when they sit for their portraits. ~ Georg C. Lichtenberg
Intelligent Joke quotes by Georg C. Lichtenberg
Mimbrates are the bravest people in the world
probably because they don't have brains enough to be afraid of anything. Garion's friend Mandorallen is totally convinced that he's invincible."
"He is," Ce'Nedra said in automatic defense of her knight. "I saw him kill a lion once with his bare hands."
" ... I heard him suggest to Barak and Hettar once that the three of them attack an entire Tolnedran legion."
"Perhaps he was joking."
"Mimbrate knights don't know how to joke," Silk told him.
"I will not sit here and listen to you people insult my knight," Ce'Nedra said hotly.
"We'renot insulting hi, Ce'Nedra," Silk told her. "We're describing him. He's so noble he makes my hair hurt."
"Nobility is an alien concept to a Drasnian, I suppose," she noted.
"Not alien, Ce'Nedra. Incomprehensible. ~ David Eddings
Intelligent Joke quotes by David Eddings
...and then she smacketh me across mine visage. ~ Zechariah Barrett
Intelligent Joke quotes by Zechariah Barrett
I was very shy as a kid but when I found out I could perform and have people's attention everything changed for me. My mom likes to joke that until I was eight or nine I only knew what my sneakers looked like because I constantly walked around with my head down. But all of a sudden the stage made sense and that's what brought me out of my shell and a monster was created. ~ Justin Timberlake
Intelligent Joke quotes by Justin Timberlake
What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke? ~ Gore Vidal
Intelligent Joke quotes by Gore Vidal
Sometimes, the universe just does what the universe wants to do, and screw you if you can't take a joke. I ~ Elliott James
Intelligent Joke quotes by Elliott James
Practical jokes are a demonstration that the distinction between seriousness and play is not a law of nature but a social convention which can be broken, and that a man does not always require a serious motive for deceiving another.

Two men, dressed as city employees, block off a busy street and start digging it up. The traffic cop, motorists and pedestrians assume that this familiar scene has a practical explanation – a water main or an electric cable is being repaired – and make no attempt to use the street. In fact, however, the two diggers are private citizens in disguise who have no business there.

All practical jokes are anti-social acts, but this does not necessarily mean that all practical jokes are immoral. A moral practical joke exposes some flaw of society which is hindrance to a real community or brotherhood. That it should be possible for two private individuals to dig up a street without being stopped is a just criticism of the impersonal life of a large city where most people are strangers to each other, not brothers; in a village where all inhabitants know each other personally, the deception would be impossible. ~ W.H. Auden
Intelligent Joke quotes by W.H. Auden
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