Iko Funny Quotes

When they reached a maintenance closet, Iko ushered the escort-droid inside.
"I want you to know that I hold nothing against you," she said, by way of introduction. "I understand that it isn't your fault your programmer had so little imagination."
The escort-droid held her gaze with empty eyes.
"In another life, we could have been sisters, and I feel it's important to acknowledge that."
A blank stare. A blink, every six seconds.
"But as it stands, I'm a part of an important mission right now, and I cannot be swayed from my goal by my sympathy for androids who are less advanced than myself."
Nothing.
"All right then." Iko held out her hands. "I need your clothes. ~ Marissa Meyer

A kiss from the Captain would probably melt my central processor."
Thorne winked at her. "Oh trust me. It would. ~ Marissa Meyer

In case you don't recognize me, I happen to be good friends with Princess Selene. I'm willing to guess you've heard of-"
"Apprehend her."
"I guess you have. ~ Marissa Meyer

Sorry, sorry, don't mind me, coming through, oh why hello there - " This to a particularly handsome Kai look-alike droid, which had no more reaction than any of the others. "Or not," she muttered, brushing past him. "Pardon me, a little space, please? ~ Marissa Meyer

I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it. ~ Milton Jones

Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache. ~ Jeff Abbott

What he does not yet understand is that whatever makes a woman strong is the reason that certain men will love her, even if behind her strengths there hide great weaknesses. This he will learn from You. He will learn that You are bubbly, funny, and sweet only because You have all Your weaknesses. But by then it will be too late. ~ Francoise Sagan

I feel like I should be going with her," said Kinney. Snarling, Iko stepped over the fallen guard and jabbed a finger at his chest. "I have known her a lot longer than you have, mister, and if there's one of us who should be going with her, it's me. Now open these doors." One ~ Marissa Meyer

If you want to know what God thinks about money just look at the people He gives it to. ~ Alexander Pope

There is something funny about the human condition, and civilized intelligence makes fun of its own ideas. ~ Saul Bellow

Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance. ~ Antonio Porchia

It's funny how many little things you get used to - attached to, even - and never realize until you travel abroad and those things are not available. ~ Karen Hawkins

This outfit makes me want to get my nose pierced and spend some time at the tattoo parlor," I said, frowning at the clothing.
"Hey, we can make that happen," Nessa, joked.
"That's very funny, Nessa," I said as I pulled out the knee high black combat boots and black fishnet stockings to match.
"It is better than the plaid cowboy shirt and Wranglers they got me," Noah said, as he held up the outfit complete with worn leather cowboy boots.
"Oh, Nessa, we will pay you back dearly for this," I said sarcastically. ~ Andrea Heltsley

Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought that was a waste of time. I'd go out on the street corner and be funny. In a minute. ~ George Carlin

But Shunt, he thirsted for understanding with obsessive perseverance. It was a pathology in this way, and pathologies aren't hobbies to be entertained through the inclination of the willing. With some assertion, you certainly can't direct a pathology: it directs, contorts, warps, wears you. Shunt walked through school, down his bedroom corridor, high-ceiling'd and close-panelled, over asphalt as hot as holiday sex, in his head, always relegated to a realm of internal mystery, a sphere of indecipherable symbols that were filtered in, held fast to, but never understood. He saw things or deduced things, and they were there for eternity. Once Shunt had them inside, it was impossible to divorce or expunge them, and so there they remained, infecting his peace and placidity of mind, thoughts like foreign bodies entering a gaping, unquenched wound, and after that Shunt's life devolved into the gangrene set in by these unpurged foreign bodies. Shunt suffered from epilepsy and a panic disorder. He didn't know who he was. He was not a funny person, a wise person, a valorous person, a soft person. Shunt was epilepsy and a panic disorder, and that's as encompassing as his personality had ever been. When you suffer a pathology it directs, contorts, warps, wears you. ~ Kirk Marshall

When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I cook better than you," Nick corrected absently. "I think monkeys can probably be taught to cook better than you."
"I'd like to have a monkey that cooked for me," said Jamie. " I would pay him in bananas. His name would be Alphonse."
"I agree, that would be awesome." Mae said. "People would come for dinner just to see the monkey chef."
"You're raving," Nick said, defrosting chicken in the microwave. Mae was a bit impressed with how he seemed to look at the appliance and instantly comprehend its mysteries, when she'd been heating up ready-made meals for years by a method of pressing random buttons and hoping. " I know that's the only way Jamie communicates with people, but I expected better of you, Mavis."
"We're cutting out the whole Mavis thing right now, Nick," Mae said warningly.
"How many bananas would be good payment for a monkey?" Jamie wanted to know. " I would want to pay Alphonse a fair wage. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

A woman's magazine quiz:
Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, "Was it good for you?"
You:
a. Say, "God, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my life"
b. Say, "Sure, as good as it gets for me with a man."
c. Put a Certs in your navel and say, "That's for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished ~ Christopher Moore

Miss Sumner, may I inquire as to why you're lounging on the floor?" Mrs. Watson asked.
Miss Sumner uttered something which sounded very much like "it should be obvious" before she lifted her head. "You really must compliment your staff, Mrs. Watson. This floor is remarkably clean. ~ Jen Turano

C: What do you get when a giant sneezes?
Out of the way. - Marigold ~ Jean Ferris

When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. ~ Otto Von Bismarck

You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it. ~ Will Rogers

Best Recipes from Eastern Europe" is not only a guide about how to cook, but also about how to decorate dishes in beautiful and unique ways. Let's make our breakfasts or dinners look classy, lovely, unusual or funny; it will add bright feelings of joy and amazement to our being.

Big happiness consists of small pleasant things - like these! ~ Sahara Sanders

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. ~ George W. Bush

I just can't see the upside in this," I heard myself say by way of explanation.

Later he said that if John had been sitting in the office he would have found this funny, as he himself had found it. "Of course I knew what you meant to say, and John would have known too, you meant to say you couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel."

I agreed, but this was not in fact the case.

I had meant pretty much exactly what I said: I couldn't see the upside in this.

As I thought about the difference between the two sentences I realized that my impression of myself had been of someone who could look for, and find, the upside in any situation. I had believed in the logic of popular songs. I had looked for the silver lining. I had walked on through the storm. It occurs to me now that these were not even the songs of my generation. They were the songs, and the logic, of the generation or two that preceded my own. The score for my generation was Les Paul and Mary Ford, "How High the Moon," a different logic altogether. It also occurs to me, not an original thought but novel to me, that the logic of those earlier songs was based on self-pity. The singer of the song about looking for the silver lining believes that clouds have come her way. The singer of the song about walking on through the storm assumes that the storm could otherwise take her down. ~ Joan Didion

We shall reach greater and greater platitudes of achievment. ~ Richard J. Daley

I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases,
heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If
you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. ~ William Shakespeare

Do you know something? I've got this funny feeling fate arranged for you to enter my life for the express purpose of tormenting me. ~ Lindsay Armstrong

Sexism is so five minutes ago. I think for the most part, people accept that women are as competent as men. ~ Katie Couric

Rapping can be repetition sometimes. Sometimes you gotta highlight your words in a certain kind of way. So I always was a fan of sing-rapping. It was always funny to me a little bit, and I think that being funny and being able to laugh, even at yourself, is a form of flattery. ~ ASAP Ferg

Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me? ~ J.K. Rowling

When I wake up I look like a madman, like something out of a horror movie! That's why I sleep alone. But the funny thing is that I'm very impeccable and clean before I go to bed. It's just like right before I'm going out. ~ Karl Lagerfeld

I had this funny family. At one end, they were breeding dogs in south-east London - for greyhound racing - and at the other, my uncle was living in Downing Street. And I would actually go to Downing Street, which didn't strike me as funny. I'd get on the number 15 bus. ~ Michael Moorcock

There are people who will tell you that the ends justify the means, right up until they're talking about their own ends. Then, suddenly, morals and ethics matter. Funny thing, that. - Dr. Shannon ~ Mira Grant

So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn't funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that. ~ Ethan Hawke

By the ruler's cultivation of his own character there is set up the example of the course which all should pursue. ~ Confucius

I wonder if vampire's eyebrows can grow back. ~ Robert Pattinson

Never trust a guy who plucks his eyebrows. ~ Robert Pattinson

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I look like walking proof evolution has hit a brick wall. ~ Norah Wilson

Okay.First things first. Three things you don't want me to know about you."
"What?" I gaped at him.
"You're the one who says we don't know each other.So let's cut to the chase."
Oh,but this was too easy:
1. I am wearing my oldest, ugliest underwear.
2.I think your girlfriend is evil and should be destroyed.
3.I am a lying, larcenous creature who talks to dead people and thinks she should be your girlfriend once the aforementioned one is out of the picture.
I figured that was just about everything. "I don't think so-"
"Doesn't have to be embarrassing or major," Alex interrupted me, "but it has to be something that costs a little to share." When I opened my mouth to object again, he pointed a long finger at the center of my chest. "You opened the box,Pandora.So sit."
There was a funny-shaped velour chair near my knees. I sat. The chair promptly molded itself to my butt. I assumed that meant it was expensive, and not dangerous. Alex flopped onto the bed,settling on his side with his elbow bent and his head propped on his hand.
"Can't you go first?" I asked.
"You opened the box..."
"Okay,okay. I'm thinking."
He gave me about thirty seconds. Then, "Time."
I took a breath. "I'm on full scholarship to Willing." One thing Truth or Dare has taught me is that you can't be too proud and still expect to get anything valuable out of the process.
"Next."
"I'm terrified of a lot things, including lightning, driv ~ Melissa Jensen

Adventure is not outside man; it is within. ~ George Eliot

Fine, I'll touch you, briefly, but only because you sound like you need the praise that your body's hot, and I'm totally selfless like that. ~ Kyle Adams

Funny is always a good way to start when in doubt ~ Ocean R Stark

No dog is as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome. ~ Eugene O'Neill

Free love is vibrator slogan. ~ Jay Caspian Kang

To go from working with a group of people in a sketch-comedy show on a small network, where it was all about just creating funny stuff, to being on a network show, and the pressures of that, and getting to know the new people who were involved in it. There was a learning curve for me. But it was an education. ~ Ken Marino

You can't have a bad time at Disney World. It's not allowed. They have hidden electronic surveillance cameras everywhere, and if they catch you failing to laugh with childlike wonder, they lock you inside a costume representing a beloved Disney character such as Goofy and make you walk about in the Florida heat getting grabbed and leaped on by violently excited children until you have learned your lesson. ~ Dave Barry

Better laid than never. ~ Joan Rivers