Humor Fashion Quotes

One has to be proactive in warding off ugly, and that costs money. ~ Kristin Billerbeck

Sometimes being a MOM is like a good
ol' country song! You lose your sleep, you lose your hair, you lose your patience, you lose your energy, you lose your memory AND you lose your SANITY! But you DO IT all for LOVE! ~ Tanya Masse

She's a sort of human vampire-bat ~ P.G. Wodehouse

Rei glanced over at me and nodded. "Exactly, Dieter. Just avoid having the cattle and keep walking." I cleared my throat. "A cow. It's 'don't have a cow.'" Rei frowned. "I fail to see why it must be a female. ~ B. Justin Shier

I like pancakes. ~ Brandon Mull

The making of a journalist: no ideas and the ability to express them. ~ Karl Kraus

Why do you talk all the time?" I asked. It was a rhetorical question, but she cocked her head on one side and considered it carefully.
"I think it's 'cause I don't know any big words, like you and Mummy," she said, just in time to pull me out of my magazine again, "so I have to use lots and lots of little ones. ~ Theodore Sturgeon

My heart is a Latin American food stall and your love is a health inspector from Zurich. ~ Tom Robbins

I shouldn't have to do the foot-soldier work, Tahiri. Be my eyes and ears. I'd hate to have to use ch'hala trees. You're smarter than a tree
aren't you?
Darth Caedus to Tahiri Veila ~ Karen Traviss

I'm drawn to the unconventional because I've been drawn unconventionally. I believe that I'm supposed to topple over these false images of what's idealistically beautiful. Because, of course, these intangible qualities are very attractive to women. Sincerity. Sense of humor. Success. ~ CeeLo Green

I think in America there's this free flow between fashion, art, architecture, music and design. In Europe, it's more segregated between those different disciplines, I think. ~ Marco Brambilla

He held up his index finger. "Rule one: in any dispute between mates, the
male is always to blame, even when he is clearly blameless. Rule two" - his middle finger joined the
first - "whenever in doubt, refer to rule one. ~ C.L. Wilson

The mark of a good book is not needing a bookmark. ~ Friend

How could you be so naive as to tell a human being the truth? Men live by embedding themselves in ongoing systems of illusion. Religion. Patriotism. Economics. Fashion. That sort of thing. If you wish to gain the favor of the two-legged ilk, you must learn to fabricate as wholeheartedly as they do. ~ Tom Robbins

All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments. ~ David Sedaris

Oh, fine.' Rochelle sprinkled some water over one of the glowstones and laid the object down in the center of their tiny camp. 'I didn't know you were afraid of the dark.'
'It isn't the dark I'm afraid of. It's the things hiding in the dark that I can't see.' Laura closed her eyes. 'Like ninjas. ~ J.S. Bailey

Until-as often happened during those first months travel, whenever I would feel such happiness-my guilt alarm went off. I heard my ex-husband's voice speaking disdainfully in my ear: So this is what you gave up everything for? This is why you gutted our entire life together? For a few stalks of asparagus and an Italian newspaper?
I replied aloud to him: "First of all," I said, "I'm very sorry, but this isn't your business anymore. And secondly, to answer you question ... yes. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

The snores alone were quite a study, varying from the mild sniff to the stentorian snort, which startled the echoes and hoisted the performer erect to accuse his neighbor of the deed, magnanimously forgive him, and wrapping the drapery of his couch about him, lie down to vocal slumber. After listening for a week to this band of wind instruments, I indulged in the belief that I could recognize each by the snore alone, and was tempted to join the chorus by breaking out with John Brown's favorite hymn: Blow ye the trumpet, blow! ~ Louisa May Alcott

Fashion condemns us to many follies, the greatest is to make oneself its slave. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

Impressive vocabulary," Korbyn said. "I feel as though I should take notes."
"I think she's making them up," Liyana said. "Half of them are not anatomically possible. ~ Sarah Beth Durst

He had probably been thrown out of a wine shop, and it hadn't quite dawned on him yet. ~ Kafka, Franz

Michael: Barzini will set me up through somebody close ... that, supposedly, I won't suspect.
Hagen: Somebody like me.
Michael: You're Irish, they won't trust you.
Hagen: I'm German-American.
Michael: To them that's Irish. ~ Mario Puzo

I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans. ~ George W. Bush

...I love to drive fast. It's a rush. ~ Stephen Few

A determination never to do what is wrong, prudence, and good-humor, will go far toward securing to you the estimation of the world. ~ Thomas Jefferson

People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben." ~ Jim Gaffigan

So you do know!" I shouted. My phone lay there like a genie's bottle, inanimate and yet containing the ability to grant me wishes and knowledge. "Girl, spill before I come over and dye your hair a natural color. ~ Atom Yang

He had smoked dope exactly twice, but stopped when he realized it was called dope for a reason. ~ Christopher Pike

Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?"
It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army."
I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant."
My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out.
My mother froze, her fork poised in midair.
That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life."
I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile. ~ Janet Evanovich

Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Why did he have to stand so close, and why did I still love him so much? ~ Jeaniene Frost

Shifting from one hip to the other in his lumbering, elephantine fashion, Ignatius sent waves of flesh rippling beneath the tweed and flannel, waves that broke upon buttons and seams. Thus ~ John Kennedy Toole

I hear you're single now." Aaron gave a white-toothed smile and tossed his hair.
"Where did you hear that?" Scarlet cocked her head, hoping to find the leak.
He pulled his stool over and sat down. "A little bird told me."
Why did people use that saying? Little birds didn't talk. They chirped. And, unless Aaron spoke bird, he certainly wasn't deciphering any bird chirpings. ~ Chelsea Fine

Every jacket I make has interior pockets big enough to store a book and a sandwich and a passport. ~ Rick Owens

So please try to keep in mind that, when I plague you, I do so because you're the only person I can plague. ~ Kellyn Roth

Scott still stares at Sid, then turns to Alice and hands her the Scotch. "We're going to go see Joanie today," he says.

Alice grins. "And Chachi?" she asks.

Sid bursts out laughing and Scott turns back to him, then places a hand on his shoulder, which makes me fear for his life. "You be quiet, son," Scott says. "I could kill you with this hand. This hand has been places."

I shake my head and look at both Sid and Alex.

Scott lifts his hand off Sid's shoulder and turns again to his wife. "No, Alice. Our Joanie. Our daughter. We're going to give her anything she wants." He glares at me. "Think about what she would want, Alice. We're going to get it for her and bring it to her. Bring it right to her bed."

"Joanie and Chachi," Alice chants. "Joanie and Chachi!"

"Shut up, Alice!" Scott yells.

Alice looks at Scott as though he just said "Cheese." She clasps her hands together and smiles, staying in the pose for a few seconds. He looks at her face and squints. "Sorry, old gal," he says. "You go ahead and say whatever you want."

"It was funny," Sid says. "All I was doing was laughing. She has a good sense of humor. That's all. Maybe she knows she's being funny. I think she does."

"I'm going to hit you," Scott says. His arms hang alongside him, the muscles flexed, veins big like milk-shake straws. I know he's going to hit Sid because that's what he does. I've seen him hit Barry. I, too, h ~ Kaui Hart Hemmings

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox. ~ Mitch Hedberg

When the government designates as punishable all play of mind against the state, the moderate liberals come and opine that fun, satire, wit, humor, etc., must have free play anyhow, and genius must enjoy freedom. So not the individual man indeed, but still genius, is to be free. Here the state, or in its name the government, says with perfect right: He who is not for me is against me. ~ Max Stirner

The northern star changes its position every ten thousand years, but friendships can last for all eternity.
- RJPeters ~ R.J. Peters

We can't understand when we're pregnant, or when our siblings are expecting, how profound it is to have a shared history with a younger generation: blood, genes, humor. It means we were actually here, on Earth, for a time - like the Egyptians with their pyramids, only with children. ~ Anne Lamott

Charles was most comfortable by himself or, if that wasn't possible, with his pack in the wild. Talking for hours in a crowded auditorium was not on any list of things he enjoyed - or things he was good at. At least no one had died. Yet. ~ Patricia Briggs

Never thought I'd see the day when Death was denied. That leaves taxes as the only certainty. ~ Piers Anthony