Quotes About Humor Education
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Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers!
Calvin: I just don't test well. ~ Bill Watterson
Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness. ~ George W. Bush
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. ~ George Carlin
If by fawning, you mean he's a deer, I have a gun, and it's hunting season, then I guess you're right. ~ Sage Kafsky
By any rights, he should be dead. He was involved in an explosion with a bomb, which he happened to be carrying at the time. Conrad is something of a scientific miracle. There are more than thirty metal pins in his body. He has a metal plate in his skull. There are metal wires in his jaw and in most of his major joints."
"He must set off a lot of airport alarms," Alex muttered. ~ Anthony Horowitz
Education must assume full responsibility to enter the moral and spiritual lives of pupils. ~ Sai Baba
My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood. ~ Will Rogers
She wants a truce.
With me?
Aye. She's quite. adamant about it. I can try to put her off until Ghleanna is at full strength but - No, no. See what her terms are.
My Lady?
I am not my mother, peacemaker. I can be reasonable. It's a new time for us all. A new time of hope and of change and of - You want access to the coast so you can attack the Lightnings, don't you?
And it is time for those barbarian Lightnings to bow down before me. ~ G.A. Aiken
Going to school is rarely a choice at all, but rather just the thing you do because everyone else does it. ~ Brian Huskie
Sweet Shia, only bloody dragons would fly as fast as they could towards their greatest enemy! Anyone with sense would run the other way. ~ Elizabeth Kerner
Because sometimes in life, Ken didn't always choose Barbie. (Jane Alcott) ~ Rachel Gibson
It has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking. ~ P.G. Wodehouse
Dumb is just not knowing. 'Ditzy' is having the courage to ask! ~ Jessica Simpson
The truce is broken?" Clearly this was worrying news, but all I could think about was that wine, and how I wanted to taste it again. ~ Giles Kristian
The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo. ~ Mark Twain
It is said by some that the gods show us their bitter humor by molding us into what we hate most in others. ~ Raymond E. Feist
Laughter is the hand of God on the shoulder of a troubled world. ~ Grady Nutt
We believed that there's no such thing as good art or bad art. Art is art. If it's bad, it's something else. It was a much, much harder line in the '50s and '60s than it is now, because the idea of art education didn't exist - they didn't have a fine arts program when I was a kid. ~ Billy Al Bengston
Justin Biebuồi, the biggest, heaviest fly ever ~ St. Xyzz XCancer
He comes.
And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up. ~ Casey Renee Kiser
I called my friend Pari on the way home. "I need you to do my apt."
"I'm not that attracted to your apt."
"I think I'm being bugged."
"Like I am? Right now? ~ Darynda Jones
As the fertilest ground, must be manured, so must the highest flying wit have a Daedalus to guide him. ~ Philip Sidney
And then there's its hair," Justin said, pushing the vegetables across to me. "Don't forget the hair. It's horrible."
"It's wearing a dead person's hair," Rafe informed me. "If you stick a pin in the doll, you can hear screaming coming from the graveyard. Try it."
"See what I mean?" Abby said, to me. "Wusses. It's got real hair. Why he thinks it's from a dead person - "
"Because your poppet was made in about 1890 and I can do subtraction. ~ Tana French
Women are angels, and when someone breaks your wings...We simply continue to fly...On a broomstick. We are flexible like that ~ Grace
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop
Something but not nothing because nothing is an infinite possibility. ~ Kyle Kipple
Quoting an experienced school counselor: "You can't change a bully into a flower child, but you can change him into a knight. ~ Leonard Sax
Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself clearly and forcibly without the slightest effect. One knows that delay means inconvenience. Perhaps it may spoil one's whole day. And one also knows that a single resolute heave will do the trick. But logic is of no use. One simply lies there. ~ P.G. Wodehouse
Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble! ~ Douglas Coupland
I never get drunk. Never. Iss the beer's fault. I'm strong, but the beer must be sssssstrooooooong.-Niklass ~ Stacey Jay
Looking back on it, could there possible have been a more confusing acronym for trying to keep kids from experimenting with drugs than DARE?
"Kids, we're here today to DARE you not to do drugs! We DARE you to accept our DARE!"
"Office, does that mean you want us not to do drugs, or to do drugs?"
"We DARE you not to do drugs!"
"But I thought we weren't supposed to do things We're dared to do. If you dared me to jump out of a tree, I should do that, right?"
"It's just an acronym, son."
"What is an acronym? ~ Mike Birbiglia
You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other's rear ends, you'd think they were feeling for diamonds or something. ~ Catherine Gilbert Murdock
People's hearts are always fragile, so we have to make sure that other people's hearts don't break. If they break, it will be hard for us to recover their broken hearts. ~ Saaif Alam
Prohibition kills, education saves lives ~ Dominic Milton Trott
I haven't slept with him, Mom." I whispered, lying through my teeth. I just didn't want to discuss my sex life with her. She would probably critique my oral skills or something.
"I should have known. You don't sleep with anybody. That's why you can't keep a man. ~ L.D. Davis