Humor Again Quotes

Life lesson 2, Never tell a woman that those pants make her butt look big. ~ John Hankins

Life lesson 3, If someone of the same gender says something like, "Silly Willy", or "ohhohyou stop that big boy/little lady", all you need to do is BOOK IT MAN, RUN AS FAST AS YO FACE'LL TAKE YA! ~ John Hankins

Why, oh why, had Jace picked a fight with a pack of wolves? What had possessed him? Then again, it was Jace. He'd pick a fight with a Mack truck if the urge took him.
-Clary, pg.40- ~ Cassandra Clare

I think the humor of double puns is incredible. ~ Richard Lederer

There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard.
'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people. Funny, really. I mean, you'd expect it to be the other way round. ~ Terry Pratchett

I think of the beauty in the obvious,
the way it forces us to admit how it exists,
the way it insists on being pointed out like a bloody nose,
or how every time it snows there is always someone around to say, "It's snowing."
But the obvious isn't showing off, it's only reminding us that time passes,
and that somewhere along the way we grow up.
Not perfect, but up and out.
It teaches us something about time,
that we are all ticking and tocking,
walking the fine line between days and weeks,
as if each second speaks of years,
and each month has years listening to forever but never hearing anything beyond centuries swallowed up by millenniums,
as if time was calculating the sums needed to fill the empty belly of eternity.
We so seldom understand each other.
But if understanding is neither here nor there, and the universe is infinite,
then understand that no matter where we go,
we will always be smack dab in the middle of nowhere.
All we can do is share some piece of ourselves and hope that it's remembered.
Hope that we meant something to someone.


My chest is a cannon that I have used to take aim and shoot my heart upon this world.
I love the way an uncurled fist becomes a hand again, because when I take notes,
I need it to underline the important parts of you:
happy, sad, lovely.
Battle cry ballistic like a disaster or a lipstick earthquaking a ~ Shane L. Koyczan

Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded ~ Yogi Berra

She was tortured with desire to see him again, a nostalgia, a necessity to see him again, to make sure it was not all a mistake, that she was not deluding herself, that she really felt this strange and overwhelming sensation on his account, this knowledge of him in her essence, this powerful apprehension of him. 'Am I really singled out for him in some way, is there really some pale gold, arctic light that envelopes only us two?' she asked herself. And she could not believe it, she remained in a muse, scarcely conscious of what was going on around. ~ D.H. Lawrence

She wanted to run her hands over him as he whispered the impassioned corollaries of non-Euclidean geometry. ~ Sherry Thomas

At other times, He may answer the prayer differently than you wanted Him to or expected Him to. He doesn't stop the storm or take away the problem or heal the illness, but He walks with you through it. Those are times when we must trust Him. Again, if He has said to you, "Let's go to the other side of the lake," He will get you to the other side of the lake! It may not be through placid waters, but you will arrive: God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling. (Psalm 46:1-3) Really, David? You won't even be afraid if the earth is removed? You won't be traumatized if great mountains start crashing into the sea? David had learned to trust his God no matter what. In Isaiah 43, the Lord said, When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through ~ Greg Laurie

Good characters make you feel like you have new friends, don't they? You have to re-read the books just to visit with them again. Grace Awakening. Book one: Awakening Dreams ~ Shawn L. Bird

Is Julian really Irish?" Cameron asked Blake as he looked down at his drink.
"I have no fucking idea," Blake answered in frustration. "I've never heard him use that one. I've heard British, Boston, Spanish, Kurdish, French, Texan, and surfer dude, but never Irish. Might mean it's the real one, if he never used it," he said in a distant, rambling tone.
Cameron blinked at him. "Surfer... dude?"
Blake waved his hand around. "You know, 'Chillax, bra, we just gotta harvest some dead presidents' kind of shit. ~ Abigail Roux

Great marketing only makes a bad product fail faster. ~ David Ogilvy

I used to think in my Russian-novel days, that I would cherish a lover who managed through thick and thin, snow and sleet, to have a bunch of Parma violets on my breakfast tray each morning
also rain or shine, Christmas or August, and onward into complete Neverland. Later, I shifted my dream plan
a split of cold champagne one half hour before the tray! Violets, sparkling wine, and trays themselves were as nonexistent as the lover(s), of course, but once again, Why not? ~ Mary Francis Kennedy Fisher

I have been asked to explain what I meant by saying that "Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity." I have no notion when I said it or where I said it, or even whether I said it; in the sense that I do not now remember ever saying it at all. But I do know why I said it; if I ever said it at all. ~ G.K. Chesterton

There are no maps. You can't map a sense of humor. ~ Terry Pratchett

I hate to say it, but it can't be much of a dark conspiracy if a trio of first-year shlubs like us have worked it all out. ~ G. Norman Lippert

In America there's a tendency to write the same book over and over because that's what sells. So in a way, my success in America has come at the expense of what I do. I haven't sold out, and I haven't taken the popular road to writing a best-selling book. I've really bucked the system. So it was necessary for me not to go and find the easy fans, the ones who want something digestible and fast with a happy ending that they can read over and over again no matter how many different books it is. I had to find fans who really wanted to think. Worldwide they all have that in common. ~ Steven Tyler

I put Liam at the top of the list, the male actor list, because I had just seen Schindler's List again and Michael Collins, and I was just like, 'God, what an incredible actor.' ~ Maggie Grace

Elephant altruism on the Kenyan plains. With her tusks, Grace (right) lifted the fallen three-ton Eleanor to her feet, then tried to get her to walk by pushing her. But Eleanor fell again and eventually died, leaving Grace vocalizing with streaming temporal glands - a sign of deep distress. Being matriarchs of different herds, these two elephants were likely unrelated. ~ Frans De Waal

WHEN he was half-way there, the keen dry wind that had been blowing early that morning rose again, and a fine dry snow began falling thickly. It did not lie on the ground, but was whirled about by the wind, and soon there was a regular snowstorm. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

As the memory of that day echoed through her, she remembered the words Sam kept screaming at Arobynn, as the King of the Assassins beat her, the words that she'd somehow forgotten in the fog of pain: I'll kill you! Sam had said it like he meant it. He'd bellowed it, again and again and again ... ~ Sarah J. Maas

One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again. ~ Abraham H. Maslow

Once you see someone lose it, you can never look at them the same way again. ~ Douglas Coupland

Some people love and some pretend. ~ Rahul Kumar Tilwani

Mary-Lynnette: "You have not read 'Pride and Prejudice'."
Ash: "Why not?"
Mary-Lynnette: "Because Jane Austen was a human."
Ash: "How do you know?"
Mary-Lynnette: "Well Jane Austen was a woman, and you're a chauvinist pig."
Ash: "Yes, well, that I can't argue. ~ L.J.Smith

This figure upon the Cross is not a MVD agent or a Gestapo inquisitor, but a Divine Physician, Who only asks that we bring our wounds to Him in order that He may heal them. If our sins be as scarlet, they shall be washed white as snow, and if they be as red as crimson, they shall be made white as wool. Was it not He Who told us, "I say to you, that even so there shall be more joy in Heaven upon one sinner that doth penance than upon ninety-nine just who need not penance" (Luke 15:7)? In the story of the prodigal, did He not describe the Father as saying, "Let us eat and make merry: because this my son was dead and is come to life again; was lost and is found" (Luke 15:23, 24)? Why is there more joy in Heaven for the repentant sinner than for the righteous? Because God's attitude is not judgment but love. In judgment, one is not as joyful after doing wrong as before; but in love, there is joy because the danger and worry of losing that soul is past. He who is sick is loved more than he who is well, because he needs it more. Some will feign sickness to solicit love and pretend wounds that the beloved may bind them. ~ Fulton J. Sheen

I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky. ~ W.C. Fields

We are all lone souls. It pays to know humility, lest the delusion of control, of mastery, overwhelms. And, indeed, we seem a species prone to that delusion, again and ever again."
~Fiddler, pg. 558 ~ Steven Erikson

I still believe that for good business analysts a concentrated portfolio is a good strategy combined with a long term horizon. Once again, the secret to success in following the formula strategy is patience, a quality in short supply for both professionals and individual investors alike. I think investors should have a large portion of their assets in equities over time. ~ Joel Greenblatt

A few years later, in Inukjuak, I learned that SFU is the Inuit texting acronym for "snowmobile fucked up," and that POOS is the acronym for "passed out on snowmobile. ~ Lawrence Millman

I shook off my numbness. I opened the door and went into the other bedroom. Two little figures stood on the bed. One had a shirt over his head which Mike was trying to pull past his ears.
"Here," I said, "you've got to unbutton another button."
"Then you'd have to take the whole thing off," he protested.
"There are time when it pays to start all over again, and this is one of them. ~ Benedict Freedman

[Christians] must become, must be known as, the people who don't hold grudges, who don't sulk. We must be the people who know how to say "Sorry," and who know how to respond when other people say it to us. It is remarkable, once more, how difficult this still seems, considering how much time the Christian church has had to think about it and how much energy has been spent on expounding the New Testament, where the advice is all so clear. Perhaps it's because we have tried, if at all, to do it as though it were just a matter of obeying an artificial command
and then, finding it difficult, have stopped trying because nobody else seems to be very good at it either. Perhaps it might be different if we reminded ourselves frequently that we are preparing for life in God's new world, and that the death and resurrection of Jesus, which by baptism constitute our own new identity, offer us both the motivation and the energy to try again in a new way. ~ N. T. Wright

In the absence of a natural disaster we are left again to our own uneasy devices. ~ Joan Didion

Ancient Greek had no verb meaning "to read" as such: the verb they used, anagignsk, means "to know again," "to recollect." It refers to a memory procedure. Similarly, the Latin verb used for "to read" is lego, which means literally "to collect" or "to cull, pluck," referring also to a memory procedure (the re-collection or gathering up of material). ~ Mary Carruthers