Honest Humor Quotes

Collection of famous quotes and sayings about Honest Humor.

Quotes About Honest Humor

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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
Honest Humor quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Courage?" I gave a very soft laugh. "I find courage is just another of life's illusions. In the end, we all do what we must. ~ Anthony Ryan
Honest Humor quotes by Anthony Ryan
You know what make me laugh? Good, clean, honest humor. Not-trying-to-be-funny humor. Like Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell got that kind of humor. ~ Redman
Honest Humor quotes by Redman
Perhaps I'll start calling myself The Invisible Queen. Sometimes just having a title helps. ~ J.C. Carleson
Honest Humor quotes by J.C. Carleson
They say that writers face the blank page. That's not true. It's more like 200 hundred blank pages! ~ R.S. Mellette
Honest Humor quotes by R.S. Mellette
Don't try to be something for everyone, just be everything for someone. Remain vulnerable. Because you very honest with yourself when you feel vulnerable. and this like self-awareness that comes out of that vulnerability is often very very helpful in your decisionmaking process. So, be vulnerable, remember where your priorities are and keep that in mind. And open your legs)) ~ Leandra Medine
Honest Humor quotes by Leandra Medine
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest. ~ Demetri Martin
Honest Humor quotes by Demetri Martin
We learned the seven traditional ways to make words unclear."
"Seven? That many? Which was the most effective?"
"Poor grammar skills. ~ Lita Burke
Honest Humor quotes by Lita Burke
But in this case," he continues, tracing the line of the plasterwork with one finger, "I feel that there is one cliche that sums up my position so admirably that it would be pure egotism to attempt a more interesting periphrasis. Plain speaking, therefore, there is to be.
"There is undoubtedly a strong possibility, notwithstanding the vagaries of contingency and misfortune, that my son might
have fallen - or might, we could say, have voluntarily jumped, in accordance with the ethical codes with which he has been brought up - for a play you have made with some success, although, as I am persuaded you would concede, very little originality."
Plain speaking if you're Henry James, perhaps. ~ Deborah Meyler
Honest Humor quotes by Deborah Meyler
The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I'm the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying. ~ Suzanne Collins
Honest Humor quotes by Suzanne Collins
In politics as in philosophy, my tenets are few and simple. The leading one of which, and indeed that which embraces most others, is to be honest and just ourselves and to exact it from others, meddling as little as possible in their affairs where our own are not involved. If this maxim was generally adopted, wars would cease and our swords would soon be converted into reap hooks and our harvests be more peaceful, abundant, and happy. ~ George Washington
Honest Humor quotes by George Washington
Thanks liver... you are a champ! ~ Siddhant R. Shinde
Honest Humor quotes by Siddhant R. Shinde
Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. ~ Terry Pratchett
Honest Humor quotes by Terry Pratchett
I don't know whether to toss you through that window or shake your hand and say 'Well done' Henry said in a tired voice. ~ Julia Quinn
Honest Humor quotes by Julia Quinn
If they have to drag some of you fucking fuckers out of here in body bags, I will be so fucking stoked. ~ Michael Ian Black
Honest Humor quotes by Michael Ian Black
Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball. ~ Jerry Coleman
Honest Humor quotes by Jerry Coleman
[Being judge] is about being honest and giving everybody a fair shot and telling them what you think. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it isn't. It's more important to be honest than say things to make people feel better. I don't think you have to be rude, but I think you have to be honest. But I think it's really important to be specific: Here's what you did that was great and why. And here's what you did that wasn't great and why. ~ Harry Connick, Jr.
Honest Humor quotes by Harry Connick, Jr.
On the other hand, the Prince had proved a much more effective teacher than Snape so far. ~ J.K. Rowling
Honest Humor quotes by J.K. Rowling
It was pretty miserable wretches that minded at all whether they were wet or dry. He could not understand why such people had been born. "It's nothing but damned eccentricity to want to be dry" he would say. "I've been wet more than half my life and never been a whit the worse for it. ~ Halldor Laxness
Honest Humor quotes by Halldor Laxness
And i was buck-naked. Which probably would have made for an interesting night, but the last time i'd checked i was neither a porn star or a prostitute. ~ Kristin Walker
Honest Humor quotes by Kristin Walker
Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas. ~ Neil Gaiman
Honest Humor quotes by Neil Gaiman
Dexter the Magnificent, who doth bestride the world like a Colossus, many lovely corpses at his feet, brought to you in live color just in time for the evening news. Oh, Mama, who is that large and handsome man with the bloody saw? Why, that's Dexter Morgan, dear, the horrible man they arrested a little while ago. But Mama, why is he smiling? He likes his work, dear. Let that be a lesson to you
always find a worthy job that keeps you happy. ~ Jeff Lindsay
Honest Humor quotes by Jeff Lindsay
If you're fortunate to get a first album that sells 10 million you have nowhere to go but down. I'm just going to be honest and your measuring stick is so high that haters are licking their chops because you can't do nothing but fail. ~ Nelly
Honest Humor quotes by Nelly
It's a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody's expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone's expense. ~ Richard Kalvar
Honest Humor quotes by Richard Kalvar
Why did he have to have such a...charming grin? It was the kind I knew numerous others had fallen prey to.
I doubted any of them regretted that fall.
I knew I didn't. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout
Honest Humor quotes by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Beautifully indeed! But she does everything well. Have you seen her peel a banana? It is like listening to a symphony. ~ Ben H. Winters
Honest Humor quotes by Ben H. Winters
Shearwater sighed, like a whale in the night. ~ Aldous Huxley
Honest Humor quotes by Aldous Huxley
She 's adorned Amply that in her husband's eye looks lovely,- The truest mirror that an honest wife Can see her beauty in. ~ John M. Tobin, Jr.
Honest Humor quotes by John M. Tobin, Jr.
I had mostly been writing humor books, and my instinct is generally to go for the joke. ~ Jory John
Honest Humor quotes by Jory John
You know ... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time ... husband!!! ~ Bill Maher
Honest Humor quotes by Bill Maher
What does salmon have to do with the Warriors?" I asked.
Sydney shot me a wry look. "Psalms, not salon. And I don't know the connection. ~ Richelle Mead
Honest Humor quotes by Richelle Mead
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. ~ Steven Wright
Honest Humor quotes by Steven Wright
I'd blurted out the question only to keep him from noticing that I was working my hands free, but the Warden behind me, some young brown-haired surfer dude, yelled a warning. "She's getting loose!"
Narc. ~ Rachel Caine
Honest Humor quotes by Rachel Caine
Ewan felt a searing stab of guilt. He'd taken an exquisite, laughing young woman away from the London ballrooms that were her natural milieu and reduced her to a tearful, freezing damsel in distress. What's more, he'd taken her virginity, and given her only potatoes to eat. And for what? Due to a quixotic idea that he would alleviate her fear of poverty?
No. Annabel had accused him of not being honest with himself. The truth of it was that he'd sent his carriages away out of pure, unadulterated lust, no matter how much he would like to dress it up in fancy ideas. ~ Eloisa James
Honest Humor quotes by Eloisa James
Julio was willing to bet that Officer "I've Seen It All" Mac had never seen a horde of black-skinned demons wearing rags and armor and carrying swords and spears, dragging a naked woman and a chubby boy by a rope. No, he was willing to bet his left nut that even officer Mac had never seen such a thing. ~ Brom
Honest Humor quotes by Brom
Fred, you next," the plump woman said.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?"
"Sorry, George, dear."
"Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy and off he went. ~ J.K. Rowling
Honest Humor quotes by J.K. Rowling
You do try to write songs that you feel like people can relate to and you try to be as honest as you can so that people hear your records and they feel like, "Oh, my god. This is exactly how I feel. I went through this." ~ Sevyn Streeter
Honest Humor quotes by Sevyn Streeter
To be honest, to be kind - to earn a little and to spend a little less, to make upon the whole a family happier for his presence, to renounce when that shall be necessary and not be embittered, to keep a few friends but these without capitulation - above all, on the same grim condition, to keep friends with himself - here is a task for all that a man has of fortitude and delicacy. He has an ambitious soul who would ask more; he has a hopeful spirit who should look in such an enterprise to be successful. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
Honest Humor quotes by Robert Louis Stevenson
An honest Man will receive neither Money nor Praise that is not his due. ~ Benjamin Franklin
Honest Humor quotes by Benjamin Franklin
Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win. ~ Jacob M. Appel
Honest Humor quotes by Jacob M. Appel
Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honest Humor quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson
To be honest, we have no control over what's going on with a movie, much less what people are going to think of it. Your whole life is wound up in it but you don't have control and you have to get used to being on that turbulent plane without trying to fly it. The less you think about all that the better. ~ Mike Mills
Honest Humor quotes by Mike Mills
Your life today is the sum total of your choices. So if you're not happy with it, look back at your choices and start making different ones. Even if you are struck by lighting and injured, you made choices that led you to that spot at a particular time - and you get to choose how you feel about it afterward. ~ Kevin Hart
Honest Humor quotes by Kevin Hart
When people keep telling you that you can't do a thing, you kind of like to try it. ~ Margaret Chase Smith
Honest Humor quotes by Margaret Chase Smith
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