Having Children Quotes

She wondered if this was true of every parent: if, prior to having children, they all used to be someone else. ~ Jodi Picoult

I find that women want to tell me about their birthing experiences. In the most excruciating detail. It's not put me off having children, but I do feel like I know too much. ~ Jessica Raine

I had nixed the idea of having children when I was myself a child, having learned in the 1960s that human overpopulation was literally crowding other species off the planet. Why create another mouth to gnaw at the overburdened earth? ~ Sy Montgomery

The classic scenario unfolds like this. An ambitious and successful woman heads down a challenging career path with the thought of having children in the back of her mind. At some point, this thought moves to the front of her mind, typically once she finds a partner. The woman considers how hard she is working and reasons that to make room for a child she will have to scale back. A law associate might decide not to shoot for partner because someday she hopes to have a family. A teacher might pass on leading curriculum development for her school. A sales representative might take a smaller territory or not apply for a management role. ~ Sheryl Sandberg

Having children is not an act of God. It's not like you're walking down the street and pregnancy strikes you; children are a result of a conscious decision. For the most part, female-headed households are the result of short-sighted, self-destructive behavior of one or two people. ~ Walter E. Williams

I think my sister Daphne's obsession with having children has a lot to do with wanting to erase the pain my mother caused. On one level, Daphne's approach makes more sense. Yet the thought of a redo is not only unappealing, but terrifying. I don't want that kind of power over anyone. I don't want to be something that someone has to overcome. After all, I think everyone would agree that it's far worse to be a fucked-up mother than it is to have one. ~ Emily Giffin

I'll tell you what is convenient," he said after a moment. "To sleep until noon and have someone bring you your breakfast on a tray. To cancel an appointment at the very last minute. To keep a carriage waiting at the door of one party, so that on a moment's notice it can whisk you away to another. To sidestep marriage in your youth and put off having children altogether. These are the greatest of conveniences, Anushka - and at one time, I had them all. But in the end, it has been the inconveniences that have mattered to me most." Anna ~ Amor Towles

I think I became more productive through not having children. I never really had the desire to have them. My husband didn't want them either, so it worked out well. ~ Dolly Parton

Their world is governed by children, little despots whose needs - school and camp and activities and tutors - dictate every decision, and will for the next ten, fifteen, eighteen years[...] Having children has provided their adulthood with an instant and nonnegotiable sense of purpose and direction. ~ Hanya Yanagihara

My friends started having children after college, while I was pursuing this crazy acting career and living hand to mouth. Plus, all my boyfriends were artists struggling to make a living. Having kids didn't make any sense - why would I take on more of a financial burden when I couldn't even afford a dog? ~ Edie Falco

Nevertheless, if you ask me, most people have children just as their own enthusiasm about life begins to wane. A child allows us to revisit the excitement we once felt about, well ... everything. A generation later, our grandkids bump up our enthusiasm yet again. Reproducing is a kind of booster shot to keep us loving life. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Never having children is a huge regret of mine. ~ Frazer Hines

The one thing I missed was never having children. It just wasn't in the cards, I guess. ~ Jeanette MacDonald

To suppose such a thing possible as a society, in which men, who are able and willing to work, cannot support their families, and ought, with a great part of the women, to be compelled to lead a life of celibacy, for fear of having children to be starved; to suppose such a thing possible is monstrous. ~ William Cobbett

The child's naive dream of life is the only one worth having. ~ Marty Rubin

Bringing people into existence as well as failing to bring people into existence can be regretted. However, only bringing people into existence can be regretted for the sake of the person whose existence was contingent on our decision. This is not because those who are not brought into existence are indeterminate. Instead it is because they never exist. We can regret, for the sake of an indeterminate but existent person that a benefit was not bestowed on him or her, but we cannot regret, for the sake of somebody who never exists and thus cannot thereby be deprived, a good that this never existent person never experiences. One might grieve about not having had children, but not because the children that one could have had have been deprived of existence. Remorse about not having children is remorse for ourselves - sorrow about having missed childbearing and child-rearing experiences. However, we do regret having brought into existence a child with an unhappy life, and we regret it for the child's sake, even if also for our own sakes. The reason why we do not lament our failure to bring somebody into existence is because absent pleasures are not bad. ~ David Benatar

You lose what individualism you have, if you have enough of course, you retain some of it, but most don't have enough, so they become watchers of game shows, y'know, things like that. Then you work the 8 hour job with almost a feeling of goodness, like you're doing something, and you get married, like marriage is a victory and you have children like having children is a victory, but most things people do are a total grind, marriage, birth, children, it's something they HAVE to do because they have nothing else to do. There is no glory in it, no esteem, no fire, their lives are flat and the earth is full of them. Sorry, but thats the way I see it. I could not accept the snail's pace 8-5, Johnnie Carson, merry christmas, happy new year, to me it's the sickest of all sick things. ~ Charles Bukowski

Having children can smooth the relationship, too. Mother and daughter are now equals. That is hard to imagine, even harder to accept, for among other things, it means realizing that your own mother felt this way, too
unsure of herself, weak in the knees, terrified about what in the world to do with you. It means accepting that she was tired, inept, sometimes stupid; that she, too, sat in the dark at 2:00 A.M. with a child shrieking across the hall and no clue to the child's trouble. ~ Anna Quindlen

I feel that heterosexual marriage is the more excellent way, and it surely is approved holy by the Holy Bible, and it holds so many more possibilities: the possibilities of having children of both the mother and father, the male and the female. ~ Robert H. Schuller

I would ask every man and every woman who's had the blessing of having children, 'Would you deny your son or your daughter the ecstasy of finding someone to love?' To love someone takes a lot of courage. So how much more is one challenged when the love is of the same sex and the laws say, 'I forbid you from loving this person'? ~ Maya Angelou

[On gender-rating by insurance companies:] They say the reason they get to charge more is we have children. I would say having children is a socially useful act. Being female is not a preexisting condition. ~ Gloria Steinem

On the Russian revolutionaries:
To leave your parents, faithful and loyal subjects of the Emperor, to leave your profession, to desist from having children, to lose your fortune, and to give up your civil honor, all for revolutionary conviction, makes for a league of more practical proof than any religious order. ~ Eugen Rosenstock-Huessy

Dear Francesca, tell me, is this a succesful party, in your view? Is this the best we can do? I know that you have always wanted to meet Kong; now that you have met him and he has said whatever he has said to you (I saw you smiling), can we go home? I mean you to your home, me to my home, all these others to their own homes, cells, cages? I am feeling a little ragged. What made us think that we could escape things like bankruptcy, alcoholism, being dissapointed, having children? Say 'No,' refuse me once and for all, let me try something else. Of course we did everything right, insofar as we were able to imagine what 'right' was. Is it really important to know that this movie is fine, and that one terrible, and to talk intelligently about the difference? Wonderful elegance! No good at all! ~ Donald Barthelme

Having children is a huge responsibility, and I just don't want to hand them off to a nanny or my mom to take care of them. ~ Thalia

One of the unseen benefits of having children is that they deliver you from your own selfishness. There's no going back. ~ Martin Amis

And as for the risk, there's risks in pretty near everything a body does in this world. There's risks in people's having children of their own if it comes to that--they don't always turn out well. ~ L.M. Montgomery

For many people who were never religious or who leave the religion of their childhood behind, it's the experience of having children of your own that brings an urgency to the question of what you believe. ~ Krista Tippett

Having children is my greatest achievement. It was my saviour. It switched my focus from the outside to the inside. My children are gifts, they remind me of what's important. ~ Elle Macpherson

I haven't done the milestoney things - getting married, buying a house, having children. ~ Eve Best

With children like this having children of their own, it was no wonder the world was full of children. ~ Yōko Tawada

It's just that . . . when you have kids, it just changes things." "Do me a favor, Yates. Please don't give me that having-children-alters-you spiel. I listen to that crap enough from my painfully few friends. ~ Harlan Coben

Getting married and then having children just centered me and grounded my values. It was like a whole new world. It started happening in New York with a little play called Cruise Control, where I relaxed, and then I kept getting work in Hollywood till this series happened. ~ Patricia Richardson

And I think in your 40s, you land a little bit, physically and mentally, you arrive at a place where you feel you've learned some stuff. Having children at that point meant I had something very useful to do for the next 20 years. ~ Mark Strong

Book your life choices in advance the same way you would book flights, car rentals, hotels, and excursions. Figure out early on in your career whether you intend to be financially independent or marry a rich man, join the ranks of the professional elite or be the stay-at- home type, postpone having children or find part-time employment. Then fasten your seat belt and sit tight as you watch your trajectory veer off course. ~ Veronique Vienne

Oh, Mama," I said. "What if I don't live that long?" My mother didn't hesitate one second. "By hook or by crook, you will. Having children only increases your grip on the world. It's like reading a thriller. You can't put it down because you have to know how the story turns out. ~ Jo-Ann Mapson

To declare enthusiasm for feminist ideals is almost a new mode of macho, a way to flaunt an invulnerable virility. Many will dismiss feminism as merely a matter of domestic logistics ... Mention procreation, and they talk about the population explosion. They believe it is just as well that many women indicate disinterest in having children. ~ George Gilder

There's really no point in having children if you're not going to be home enough to father them. ~ Anthony Edwards

A century that began with children having virtually no rights is ending with children having the most powerful legal instrument that not only recognizes but protects their human rights. ~ Carol Bellamy

We bring these delightful creatures into the world - eagerly, happily - and then before long they are spying upon and judging us, rarely favourably. Having children is our fondest wish but, in doing so, we breed our acutest critics. It is a preposterous situation - but entirely of our own making. ~ Whit Stillman

In her book Those Who Work, Those Who Don't: Poverty, Morality, and Family in Rural America, Jennifer Sherman posits that in places lacking resources, morality is social capital. Appearing "good" unlocks jobs and community resources. But morality is determined in a fluid way; it's just as much about fitting in and looking the part as it is about good behavior. Being white, wearing the right clothes (not too fancy, not too dirty), being male, being married, and having children were all part of the appearance of morality. But it wasn't just about "good" behavior. John Sadler had stretched the law in an extra-legal way to get around the tax code. But this was looked on as an example of good behavior - he was conning the government after all. This made him smart and quick-witted, a cunning businessman and someone you would respect. Hell, he was a leader in his community. ~ Lyz Lenz

We all are conditioned to be settled down at 30 and have a job. Women are thinking "Well, when am I having children?" There is a biological clock. There are things that you're thinking about as a woman. ~ Daryl Wein

I have to admit that Emily is a cute kid, and I instantly understand why Ronnie has written me so many letters about his daughter-why he loves her so much. I start to think about having children with Nikki someday and I become so happy that I give little Emily a kiss on the forehead, as if she were Nikki's baby and I was her father. And then I kiss Emily's forehead again and again, until she giggles. ~ Matthew Quick

Having children with someone is the real bond. ~ Francesca Annis

The biggest thing this has in common with almost all of our records is the dualities are still there. We kind of stripped down the other things we were writing about, and that's what was left. A lot of good things have happened to us in the last couple of years both as a band and in our personal lives. But something as wonderful as having children also brings along these new fears and terrors and responsibilities. ~ Patterson Hood

I have never understood the importance of having children memorize battle dates. It seems like such a waste of mental energy. Instead, we could teach them important subjects such as How the Mind Works, How to Handle Finances, How to Invest Money for Financial Security, How to be a Parent, How to Create Good Relationships, and How to Create and Maintain Self-Esteem and Self-Worth. Can you imagine what a whole generation of adults would be like if they had been taught these subjects in school along with their regular curriculum? ~ Louise L. Hay

Indeed, many adults don't consider having children at all until they've deemed themselves good and ready: in 2008, 72 percent of college-educated women between the ages of twenty-five and twenty-nine had not yet had children. ~ Jennifer Senior

Half [of] us approve of other people's daughters having children out of wedlock, but hardly any of us approve of that for our daughters. [We] don't wish to be 'judgmental,' unless [we are judging] something we care about, [like] the well-being of the people we cherish ~ James Q. Wilson

The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes them a mother - which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician. ~ Sydney J. Harris

Wise man. Kids from the moment they're born, they fill your heart with love…and terror. Especially little girls. You want to protect them from everything. And they you can't, you feel like you've failed as a father. You've saved yourself a lot of pain by not having children. ~ C.J. Tudor

Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults say this to children I look into their faces. They look like someone on the top seat of the Ferris wheel who has had too much cotton candy and barbecue. They'd like to get off and be sick but everyone keeps telling them what a good time they're having. ~ Erma Bombeck

Having children made us look differently at all these things that we take for granted, like taking your child to get a vaccine against measles or polio. ~ Melinda Gates

Having children changes you forever, as a writer and as a human being. I hope it's for the better on both counts, but I guess we'll see. ~ Brian K. Vaughan

I do not think that having children - I have three teenagers - keeps you young. The reverse. It thrusts you into a full-frontal confrontation with your own all-too-obvious maturity. ~ Rachel Johnson

Once a person has a child, the first question everyone asks is: "Are you going to have more children?" But it basically means: "Are you going to have more sex with your wife in the hopes of having children? ~ Will Ferrell

The very idea of having children brings out this deep revulsion in me. ~ Valeria Lukyanova

No one tells you this, how having children multiplies your capacity for suffering. ~ Marcel Theroux

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. ~ Jane Goodall

It was important to me that people know that you can make plays and raise children at the same time - for other mothers, for other parents, for other women considering having children and who want to be working and thinking and contemplating and making things while they're raising children. ~ Sarah Ruhl

Appallingly, I hadn't thought about it one jot. I never daydreamed as a little girl of getting married and having children. I was as surprised to discover I was getting married as I was to discover I was up the duff. ~ Helen McCrory

One of our daughters is now a physician; another is a vice president of a major entertainment company; and the third is a clinical therapist. They place no limits on their ambitions, but for them, those ambitions also have had to fit within the context of having children. ~ Tom Brokaw

It took a year for us to conceive our second child. This is a common ordeal for the average middle-class American couple that puts off having children until their thirties. We knew so many other couples that had experienced fertility problems and miscarriages that it was more surprising when someone we knew had a child without being consigned to thirty-eight consecutive weeks of bed rest. Turns out God WANTS you to conceive when you're eighteen years old, apparently so that you can spend your twenties miserable and penniless and living in a camper. ~ Drew Magary

Marriage is a school itself. Also, having children. Becoming a father changed my whole life. It taught me as if by revelation. ~ Abraham Maslow

I was just thinking about me having children. Or being a grandma!" She giggled. "Think I'll be fat and have gray hair?"

"I sure hope so," her father said, laughing himself. ~ Sharon M. Draper

Half the bloody world is going through a divorce; more than that are having children. All of us have parents who are dying or have died. It's just the life cycle. ~ Sarah McLachlan

Just having children is a risk, Kate. We are gambling on the future, investing in the unknown with nothing but hope and blind faith. How can we keep our own safe when anyone else is in danger? ~ Florence Engel Randall

I remember there was this one lady shaman who said that having children puts a hole in your soul. And the only way to get it back is for your children to die. And, you know, monks don't have families. ~ Larkin Grimm

Having disciples is in the end like having children, only not with love but with self-love preeminent. ~ Louis Kronenberger

You're not really mad that I'm not having children.

In fact, I would probably love to one day.

You're mad that I'm expressing autonomy of choice.

You're mad that I'm considering other options.

You're mad that I don't view that as my ultimate potential.

You're mad that I dare be selfish enough to make choices based on my best interest, something women are not supposed to do.

You're mad that I consider it a choice, and that I, a woman, am exercising choice.

You're not mad that I'm not having babies.

You're mad because I'm acting like a man. ~ Alice Minium

I have no regrets about not having children. I still wait for the pang of guilt, but I have none. I tune into the television show 'Nanny 911' occasionally which reminds me how much patience and love it take to be a good parent. ~ Amanda Donohoe

I really like Wisconsin. I enjoy it. I enjoy the people. I enjoy the fact that it's not L.A. or New York. And there's some sense of normalcy here - people having children in homes they can somewhat afford to live in. ~ Michael Feldman

I think I have become a better writer since having children. It improves creativity, particularly because once you have children it makes you realise the story isn't about you. ~ Louise Doughty

I know what we have to do!" he said, extremely excited.
He pulled me into the living room, sat me down, and took my hands in his. Looking intensely into my eyes, he said, "Babe, we've got to have children."
Wow, I thought, that must have been some fire.
"Ok-aaay," I said.
"You don't understand, you don't understand!" he said, trying to catch me up to his thoughts. "Everything we've been working for, the zoo that we've been building up, all of our efforts to protect wildlife, it will all stop with us!"
As with every good idea that came into his head, Steve wanted to act on it immediately. Just take it in stride, I said to myself. But he was so sincere. We'd talked about having children before, but for some reason it hit him that the time was now.
"We have got to have children," he said. "I know that if we have kids, they will carry on when we're gone."
"Great," I said. "Let's get right on that. ~ Terri Irwin

The traditional rules for having children are long gone. Some days I feel like the harder choice is to not have a kid. ~ Henriette Mantel

Berlin seems like a place of healing to me though: you have both the Holocaust Memorial and Hiroshima Strasse side-by-side there. You have the whole last century libraried and you can see exactly what we did. Now there's lots of artists and musicians moving there because they can't afford the rent in London and New York, and they're having children and making it a gentle place. It seems to be a place of hope now. ~ Robert Montgomery

Azazel is also listed as one of the Watchers, angelic creatures from the Book of Enoch, a text no longer canonical under any large Christian faith. These Watchers were not expelled from Paradise, but were punished by god for having children with humans, and teaching them science, technology, and other crafts. Azazel in particular taught humans how to make weapons, as well as ornaments and cosmetics. Other Watchers taught them how to write and make paper, how to read signs and predict the weather, and how to study the heavens with astrology. ~ Anonymous

Getting married, having children, and staying together long after all love has died, saying that it's for the good of the children (who are, apparently, deaf to the constant rows). ~ Paulo Coelho

Mum had decided that there was nothing sacrosanct about families formed only by birth parents. Though brought up Catholic, she and Dad thought the world had enough children born into it already, with many millions of them in dire need. They agreed that there were other ways to create a family beyond having children themselves. ~ Saroo Brierley

Did I ever tell you about Asin? She is the wild woman of the woods. It's an old story of the People. My mom used to tell me about Asin. Asin couldn't bear being married or having children or having friends. She always wanted to run wild. She ran wild through the woods. If you saw her running you had to run to water as fast as you could and drink or her restlessness would come into you like a thirst that could never be quenched. She was happy and unhappy. She had wild long hair and she was very tall and she ran like the wind. When you saw dunegrass rippling in a line she was running through it. When the wind changed direction suddenly that was Asin. She was never satisfied or content and so she ran and ran and ran. She would grab men who were fishing alone and make love to them and then throw them down on the ground and run away weeping. She would grab children who wandered too far alone in the woods but she would return them to the same spot after three days and run away again. She would listen to women talking by the fire or working in the village or gathering berries but if they invited her to join them she ran away. You could hear her crying sometimes when the sun went down. She wanted something but she never knew what it was so she had nothing. She was as free as anyone ever could be and she was trapped. When I was young I wanted to be Asin. Many times I wanted to be Asin. So do you, Nora. I know. It's okay. It's alright. My sweet love. Poor Asin. Sometimes I think to be ~ Brian Doyle

Not having children makes less work-but it makes a quiet house. ~ Susan Glaspell

You're going to figure it out, as you go. I think that's how people feel about having children, as well. You're not going to learn how to do it until you do it. ~ Jess Weixler

It is unlikely that many people will take to heart the conclusion that coming into existence is always a harm. It is even less likely that many people will stop having children. By contrast, it is quite likely that my views either will be ignored or will be dismissed. As this response will account for a great deal of suffering between now and the demise of humanity, it cannot plausibly be thought of as philanthropic. That is not to say that it is motivated by any malice towards humans, but it does result from a self-deceptive indifference to the harm of coming into existence. ~ David Benatar

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life's the other way round. ~ David Lodge

Parents with dependents are somehow thought to count for more. If, for example, there is some scarce resource - a donor kidney perhaps - and of the two potential recipients one is a parent of young children and one is not, the parent, all things being equal, will likely be favoured. To let a parent die is not only to thwart that person's preference to be saved, but also the preferences of his or her children that their parent be saved. It is quite true, of course, that the death of the parent will harm more people, but there is nonetheless something to be said against favouring parents. Increasing one's value by having children might be like increasing one's value by taking hostages. ~ David Benatar

If I had had a daughter, I always knew what I would tell her. First of all, I would try to counter all outdated stereotypical claptrap that girls are commonly told about their sex--that women are valued far more for their sexual characteristics than their character and brains--and encourage her to be a truly independent person. Only knowing who she is herself will she be able to find find her own life's work and make good decisions in choosing a partner and having children. ~ Doris Anderson

Identifying the purpose of your living is more important than creating a family and having children ~ Sunday Adelaja

About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them. ~ Judy Carter

Having children is what a woman is born for, really. ~ Nastassja Kinski

If you have fewer teenagers having children, they could focus more on their vocational development. ~ Tom Golisano

If you want to be a good parent please heal your own wounds, heal all of them and be confident that you've done so before you seriously consider having children. The unresolved child within you is the real child you need to embrace and heal and raise. ~ Daniel Mackler

Having children, they're not your property. They need to figure out their own views. I think my daughters have a pretty healthy self-awareness, but I can't speak on their behalf. ~ Annie Lennox

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. ~ Michael Levine

Having children is exciting. Life puts the past into perspective. ~ Sam Taylor-Wood

Why did I not stop to have children? I suppose because the opportunity didn't present itself. Yes, many women feel they are not complete without having children, but I have different creative outlets. ~ Miranda Richardson

After the oil spill, I had this strong feeling that if I ever were to be blessed in having children, I never wanted my kids to see me pumping gas at a gas station. I think it's our responsibility to make the changes that we need to take regardless of convenience. ~ Alyssa Milano

I grew up feeling that to be gay was a tragedy. I didn't grow up thinking that it was morally wrong, but I grew up thinking that it would make me marginal, prevent me from having children, and quite possibly prevent me from having a meaningful long relationship. It seemed that this condition would leave me with a vastly reduced life. ~ Andrew Solomon

When looking at her I imagine my childhood and I live it all over again. Having children is getting to live two lives. ~ Christie Watson

I highly recommend getting your career established first and then having children. ~ Arizona Muse

Women are interchangeable as sex objects; women are slightly less disposable as mothers. The only dignity and value women get is as mothers: it is a compromised dignity and a low value, but it is all that is offered to women as women. Having children is the best thing women can do to get respect and be assured a place. The fact that having children does not get women respect or a place is almost beside the point: poor women don't get respect and live in dung heaps; black women don't get respect and are jailed in decimated ghettos; just plain pregnant women don't get respect and the place they have is a dangerous one - pregnancy is now considered a cause of battery (stress on the male, don't you know): in perhaps 25 percent of families in which battery occurs, it is a pregnant woman who has been battered. In fact, having children may mean both increased violence and increased dependence; it may significantly worsen the economic circumstances of a woman or a family; it may hurt a woman's health or jeopardize her in a host of other ways; but having children is the one social contribution credited to women - it is the bedrock of women's social worth. Despite all the happy smiling public mommies, the private mommies have grim private recognitions. One perception is particularly chilling: without the children, I am not worth much. The recognition is actually more dramatic than that, much more chilling: without the children, I am not. ~ Andrea Dworkin

Not having children is seen as supremely selfish, as though the people having children were selflessly sacrificing themselves in a valiant attempt to ensure the survival of our endangered species and fill up this vast and underpopulated island of ours. ~ Geoff Dyer

Having children really changes your priorities. ~ Cindy Crawford