Hand Job Quotes

He caught Ben's come in the napkin, the smell making his mouth water harder than any chile sauce could. ~ B.A. Tortuga

Happy enough to smile like a man getting a hand job from a shake weight enthusiast. ~ Edward Lorn

If Shane had avoided her for years because of a kiss, he might leave the country over a blow and hand job. ~ Naima Simone

Your entire personality is like a hand job in a cold shower. ~ Tibby Armstrong

So you can see why the whole hand-job thing felt like a natural career progression. ~ Gillian Flynn

For someone who hasn't done this before, you didn't need much help finding the ropes. If anything, i felt like I was trying to keep up."

"It was a hand job. It ain't like I don't have a dick of my own. I know what feels good."

"You know, I like the world the way you see it, Jacqs. It makes a lot more sense. ~ Lyn Gala

It's an expensive place. The cheapest salad is twenty-five dollars."
"I hope that comes with extra croutons and a hand job. ~ Andrea Speed

Internet porn makes everything more reasonable
once you've realized there is a massive subculture of upwardly mobile people who think it's erotic to see an Asian woman giving a hand job to a javelina, nothing else in the world seems crazy. ~ Chuck Klosterman

Cold case or not, the case was technically still open, never closed. These files should have been totally off limits to him. Gabe was risking his job by giving him this. "Wow, I had no idea you'd give me the keys to the kingdom. Thank you."
"If you can find anything new about this case, I will kiss you in front of the squad room. On the lips. Hell, find something actionable and I just may give you a hand job."
"Not a blow job?"
"Don't push it. ~ Andrea Speed

I DIDN'T STOP giving hand jobs because I wasn't good at it. I stopped giving hand jobs because I was the best at it. For three years, I gave the best hand job in the tristate area. The key is to not overthink it. If you start worrying about technique, if you begin analyzing rhythm and pressure, you lose the essential nature of the act. You have to mentally prepare beforehand, and then you have to stop thinking and trust your body to take over. Basically, it's like a golf swing. ~ Gillian Flynn

A complete subnormal idiot. A good guy. wait until the fog came in some night and they sent him back to his lonely closed for a hand job. ~ Charles Bukowski

The way the early Protestants taught on the other hand is that everybody is a full time minister in their various places of work. They went to the extent of saying, your job, profession, occupation is your calling ~ Sunday Adelaja

Ned looked to DeVere. "You are the master of mayhem. Any brilliant ideas?"
"If we want him to leave the gate, we must provide proper motivation," DeVere answered.
"Such as?" Phoebe prompted.
"Let us keep to the basics, my pet. Men are primarily moved by either their stomachs or their cocks. If we cannot tempt the one, it must be the other."
Ned glared. "What are you suggesting?"
"Our little chambermaid can take the blighter off by offering him a hand job."
"The hell she will!" Ned barked before Phoebe could answer for herself. "Think of something else!"
"Come now, Ned. She'll be well compensated for her trouble. He laughed. "Hell, for a thousand, I might be tempted to do it myself."
A WILD NIGHT'S BRIDE ~ Victoria Vane

He'd have to thank him for that later. Maybe with a nice firm hand job. Because nothing says "I'm grateful" like a palm wrapped around your dick. ~ Cardeno C.

I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that. ~ Augusten Burroughs

Sorry I'm late. I got caught jaywalking and had to give the policeman a hand job or pay a seventy-five dollar fine. ~ Penny Reid

There are also hunger strikes. Hunger strikes are noble and sometimes necessary. If you're a political prisoner in China or North Korea (where the entire country is on a hunger strike, not by choice), I get it. For you, it's life or death. But at Harvard, it's about a press clipping and maybe getting a better grade or a higher class of hand job. So when an undergrad adopts a hunger strike in order to get someone to divest from oil, I say, let the twerp starve. Most of them are overfed, pudgy masses of soft tissue - it wouldn't hurt if these sad sacks lost a few pounds. They might even understand the plight of the average Venezuelan, who operates under conditions American activists see as utopian, when they're really nightmarish. How about the next time one of our coeds feels a hunger strike coming on, we exchange her with someone who's genuinely starving? ~ Greg Gutfeld

He looked down, watching her delicate, soft fingers encircle his rock-hard dick and wondering when a hand job had turned him on so much.

"Tell me what to do."

"Stroke, don't pull," he said, noticing his voice was incoherent, but somehow she understood it. "North and south, not east and west."

"It's huge."

"Don't worry its bark is worse than its bite."

She looked up at home, knitting her brows together and smiling nervously. "It bites?"

He had never laughed so hard and been so hard at the same time. ~ M.K. Schiller

I can barely feel my arms now, and my shoulders are sore, but I take deep breaths and keep going. Every few seconds I alternate hands and lick them. "Hand job" is such a misnomer for this full-body routine. It's like I'm a one-man band. ~ Daria Snadowsky

I come from a school of people, folk singers, and the tradition there is troubadours, and you're carrying a message. Now admittedly, our job is partly just to make you boogie, just make you want to dance. Part of our job is to take you on a little voyage, tell you a story. ~ David Crosby

Recognising that an ostentatious cult of heroism and state service served an important propaganda function for the British elite does not mean, of course, that we should dismiss it as artificial or insincere. All aristocracies have a strong military tradition, and for many British patricians the protracted warfare of the period was a godsend. It gave them a job, and, more important, a purpose, an opportunity to carry out what they had been trained to do since childhood: ride horses, fire guns, exercise their undoubted physical courage and tell other people what to do. ~ Linda Colley

There were days so clear and skies so brilliant blue, with white clouds scudding across them like ships under full sail, and she felt she could lift right off the ground. One moment she was ambling down a path, and the next thing she knew, the wind would take hold of her, like a hand pushing against her back. Her feet would start running without her even willing it, even knowing it. And she would run faster and faster across the prairie, until her heart jumped like a rabbit and her breath came in deep gasps and her feet barely skimmed the ground.
It felt good to spend herself this way. The air tasted fresh and delicious; it smelled like damp earth, grass, and flowers. And her body felt strong, supple, and hungry for more of everything life could serve up.
She ran and felt like one of the animals, as though her feet were growing up out of the earth. And she knew what they knew, that sometimes you ran just because you could, because of the way the rush of air felt on your face and how your legs reached out, eating up longer and longer patches of ground.
She ran until the blood pounded in her ears, so loud that she couldn't hear the voices that said, You're not good enough, You're not old enough, You're not beautiful or smart or loveable, and you will always be alone.
She ran because there were ghosts chasing her, shadows that pursued her, heartaches she was leaving behind. She was running for her life, and those phantoms couldn't catch her, not here, not any ~ Pamela Todd

SCUM will become members of the unwork force, the fuck-up force; they will get jobs of various kinds and unwork... SCUM office and factory workers, in addition to fucking up their work, will secretly destroy equipment. SCUM will unwork at a job until fired, then get a new job to unwork at. ~ Valerie Solanas

Hating people who wronged me only kept me in their power. Forgiving them and thanking them for the lessons they taught me, on the other hand set me free to continue on my way. ~ Le Ly Hayslip

When I was about 17, I had a row with my mother and left home for six months, renting a flat and working as a waitress for a while. I learnt you could double your earnings if you gave good, cheerful service. It taught me that in any job you can improve your lot. ~ Anne Robinson

I get my best writing done when I'm supposed to be doing something else entirely. And that's why I keep my day job. ~ Joyce Rachelle

The coward wretch whose hand and heart Can bear to torture aught below, Is ever first to quail and start From the slightest pain or equal foe. ~ Bertrand Russell

Vormurtos leaned on the frame with his arms crossed, and failed to move aside.

At Miles's polite, "Excuse us, please," Vormurtos pursed his lips in exaggerated irony.

"Why not? Everyone else has. It seems if you are Vorkosigan enough, you can even get away with murder."

Ekaterin stiffened unhappily. Miles hesitated a fractional moment, considering responses: explanation, outrage, protest? Argument in a hallway with a half-potted fool? No. I am Aral Vorkosigan's son, after all. Instead, he stared up unblinkingly, and breathed, "So if you truly believe that, why are you standing in my way?"

Vormurtos's inebriated sneer drained away, to be replaced by a belated wariness. With an effort at insouciance that he did not quite bring off, he unfolded himself, and opened his hand to wave the couple past. When Miles bared his teeth in an edged smile, he backed up an extra and involuntary step. Miles shifted Ekaterin to his other side and strode past without looking back.

Ekaterin glanced over her shoulder once, as they made their way down the corridor. In a tone of dispassionate observation, she murmured, "He's melted. You know, your sense of humor is going to get you into deep trouble someday."

"Belike," Miles sighed. ~ Lois McMaster Bujold

Explore the endless opportunities in life. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

Hey, I liked my idea of bringer her along, but you already vetoed that idea, so now I'm resorting to Plan B, which is to interrogate her. And I am really looking forward to it. I used to play a game called interrogation with one of my old girlfriends where we-"
"That's enough." Cinder raised her hand, silencing him. ~ Marissa Meyer

Mom?" Then again, louder. "Mom?"
She turned around so quickly, she knocked the pan off the stove and nearly dropped the gray paper into the open flame there. I saw her reach back and slap her hand against the knobs, twisting a dial until the smell of gas disappeared.
"I don't feel good. Can I stay home today?"
No response, not even a blink. Her jaw was working, grinding, but it took me walking over to the table and sitting down for her to find her voice. "How - how did you get in here?"
"I have a bad headache and my stomach hurts," I told her, putting my elbows up on the table. I knew she hated when I whined, but I didn't think she hated it enough to come over and grab me by the arm again.
"I asked you how you got in here, young lady. What's your name?" Her voice sounded strange. "Where do you live?"
Her grip on my skin only tightened the longer I waited to answer. It had to have been a joke, right? Was she sick, too? Sometimes cold medicine did funny things to her.
Funny things, though. Not scary things.
"Can you tell me your name?" she repeated.
"Ouch!" I yelped, trying to pull my arm away. "Mom, what's wrong?"
She yanked me up from the table, forcing me onto my feet. "Where are your parents? How did you get in this house?"
Something tightened in my chest to the point of snapping.
"Mom, Mommy, why - "
"Stop it," she hissed, "stop calling me that!"
"What are you - ?" I think I must have tried to say someth ~ Alexandra Bracken

Christ," he said to the tiny reflection of himself that floated along the surface of his coffee,
"You have become quite the maudlin sop, haven't you? Laughing softly, he rubbed a hand over his face.
Step one on the road back to sanity, stop talking to yourself. ~ Kristen Callihan

When it was dark, you always carried the sun in your hand for me. ~ Sean O'Casey

The best friendships do not require that anyone keep the upper hand. ~ Alan Loy McGinnis

I'll start drinking tea over coffee when the big hand is on Never and the little hand is on Ain't Gonna Happen. ~ James Lileks

But things never go according to plan. In fact, I think if you're really attached to controlling your future, you should plan for the opposite of what you want just to confuse the cosmic comedians whose sole job is to figure out what you think your future should hold so they can preclude it from ever happening. ~ Hollis Gillespie

I think that to have known one good, old man-one man, who, through the chances and mischances of a long life, has carried his heart in his hand, like a palm-branch, waving all discords into peace-helps our faith in God, in ourselves, and in each other more than many sermons ~ George William Curtis

Europe is often held up as a cautionary tale, a demonstration that if you try to make the economy less brutal, to take better care of your fellow citizens when they're down on their luck, you end up killing economic progress. But what European experience actually demonstrates is the opposite: social justice and progress can go hand in hand. ~ Paul Krugman

So don't be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don't know what work they are accomplishing within you? ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

We're all meant to lean on something. Or someone.' I smile. He frowns. He surprises me and grabs the pen out of my hand. He starts writing something down in his neat block letters. He slides the journal back to me. 'I build walls around myself. I lean on those.' I don't need to ask him why. Everybody builds walls - it's for protection. I scribble quickly. 'Maybe you should break the walls down once in a while.' 'I'll just build them up again', he writes. 'But maybe you'll add a few windows the next time around. Or a door? ~ Katie Kacvinsky

Mon dieu. I cannot leave without tasting your lips once more."
She read the question in his hooded gaze. She would not let him leave, of course, but allowing him a kiss seemed a reasonable consolation after saving her life. Especially as she wanted it , too. Longed for it.
She put her hand behind his neck, mimicking him, and threaded her fingers through his thick, wavy hair. "Take your kiss, my lord. ~ Sandra Jones

That is why all romantics are anti-Voltairean, even Michelet, whose political fervor ought to have made him stand aligned with Voltaire; and that is why, on the other hand, all the minds which accept the world and recognize its irony and indifference are Voltairean. ~ Voltaire

Sharp!" called a voice from outside the stable.
It might as well have been the voice of God Himself, only he wasn't coming to save anyone.
She jerked her hand from Gabriel's breeches in a panic. "That's Poppy! He can't find us like this."
Gabriel stared at her uncomprehendingly for a second.
She shook him. "If he finds you here with me, there will be no wedding, no duel, no nothing except your handsome body speared on that pitchfork over there."
A lazy grin crossed his face. "You think I'm handsome?"
"Gabriel!"
"Oh, all right." He stood and brushed the straw from his skin and breeches."
-Gabriel and Virginia ~ Sabrina Jeffries

Speaking of chocolate, what kind of cake are we having for the shower?"
"I don't know."
Sincerely shocked, Peabody jerked around in her seat. "You didn't get cake?"
"I don't know. Probably." Because the idea of the shower, what she had to do, hadn't done, should do, made her stomach jitter, Eve squirmed. "Look, I called the caterer, okay? I did it myself. I didn't dump it on Roarke, I didn't ask - God forbid - Summerset to handle it."
"Well, what did you ask for? What's the theme?"
The jitters escalated into a roiling. "What do you mean, theme?"
"You don't have a theme? How can you have a baby shower without a theme?"
"Jesus Christ, I need a theme? I don't even know what that means. I called the caterer. I did my job. I told her it was a baby shower. I told her how many people, more or less. I told her when and where. She started asking me all kinds of questions, which gives me a fucking headache, and I told her not to ask me all kinds of questions or she was fired. Just to do whatever needed doing. Why isn't that enough?"
Peabody's sigh was long and heartfelt. "Give me the caterer's info, and I'll check in with her. Does she do the decorations, too?"
"Oh, my God. I need decorations?"
"I'm going to help you, Dallas. I'm going to run interference with the caterer. I'm going to come over early on the day and help get it set up."
Eve narrowed her eyes and tried to ignore the joy and relief bubbling in her breast. "And what's ~ J.D. Robb

In my job you can't just put your head in the sand and throw partisan bombshells. You have to get results. ~ Amy Klobuchar

I personally feel very undecided whether it is better for a woman to stay and look after the home or go out to a job. ~ Geoffrey Howe

I changed my mind. Maybe I do want a black hole for a vagina. How bad could it be? I wouldn't need to carry a purse anymore. I could just shove things up my twat. 'Oh, you need a pen? Hold on, let me check in my vagina. What's that you say? Do I have a flashlight? Let me stick my hand up my vag and find out.' Let's go home. We could do a home birth in the bathtub. It might be a tight squeeze but I bet we could both fit in there. ~ Tara Sivec

You are the untold story. You are the impassioned truth wanting to scream its existence, to be forever trapped by a strong hand clapped firmly over the mouth of my soul. ~ Henry Rollins

The hand that records is also what makes everything unclear. ~ M.T. Anderson

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up ~ Paddy Chayefsky

Time Management Tips: The perpetual processing of the same temptation is both dangerous and time-wasting. Cycling and recycling the same temptation (instead of rejecting such blandishment out of hand) is not only to risk one's soul, again and again, but is to bring on fatigue, so that the Adversary may be able to do indirectly what we will not let him do directly. A lack of decisiveness in dealing with temptation ties up our thought processes and prevents us from doing good with the time allotted to us. ~ Neal A. Maxwell

I have never taken a job or done a job where I felt I needed to leave my conscience at the door. One of the great things about not being in politics as a career is that I can do this job without thinking about my career. I can think about what we're trying to do, what we're trying to accomplish and what we're trying to leave. ~ Deval Patrick

The easiest job is wealth. ~ Julieanne O'Connor

Whatever man may stand, whatever he may do, to whatever he may apply his hand - in agriculture, in commerce, and in industry, or his mind, in the world of art, and science - he is, in whatsoever it may be, constantly standing before the face of God. He is employed in the service of his God. He has strictly to obey his God. And above all, he has to aim at the glory of his God. ~ Abraham Kuyper

Tell me what you're looking for and i will become that for you. I can sacrifice my inner freedoms for you without looking twice at my old journals and solid promises I made to myself about such things. But you must be prepared to kill me when the smiles are no longer frequent. Do it while I sleep. While I hold your hand. Do it fast, baby. Do it fast. ~ Darnell Lamont Walker

Since we nowadays think that all a man needs for acquisition of truth is to exert his brain more or less vigorously, and since we consider an ascetic approach to knowledge hardly sensible, we have lost the awareness of the close bond that links the knowing of truth to the condition of purity. Thomas says that unchastity's first-born daughter is blindness of the spirit. Only he who wants nothing for himself, who not subjectively 'interested,' can know the truth. On the other hand, an impure, selfishly corrupted will-to-pleasure destroys both resoluteness of spirit and the ability of the psyche to listen in silent attention to the language of reality. ~ Josef Pieper

There was something at the edge of Silas's lips that might have been a smile, and might have been regret, and might just have been a trick of the shadows.
"Good-bye, then, Silas." Bod held out his hand, as he had when he was a small boy, and Silas took it, in a cold hand the color of old ivory, and shook it gravely.
"Good-bye, Nobody Owens. ~ Neil Gaiman