Guacamole Quotes

Dope guac," says some asshole, and I pick up a Dorito and shove it into the guac. There is nothing remarkable about this guac, about any guac, and California needs to calm the fuck down. They're just avocados. Guac is guac and while sometimes it's slimy and disgusting, it's never delicious. ~ Caroline Kepnes

When I write I am an avocado, and in a team sport setting, I am guacamole. And not to sour cream on your dreams, but with my love life, I am a nacho. ~ Jarod Kintz

I've been touted for my guacamole. I'll stand by my method. People have asked me to come to their home and prepare it. Restaurants have asked me about it. ~ Billy Gibbons

I thought about throwing my grocery bags at him and making a run for it, but those avocados were expensive. Damn my love of guacamole. ~ Darynda Jones

I've never had much luck with New Year's resolutions. Last year I only lasted three days before realizing I couldn't survive without junk food. And the year before that, when my sister and I promised not to argue anymore, we didn't even make it to the end of my dad's New Year's Eve party. I'll spare you the gory details, but fruit punch and guacamole were involved. So was dry cleaning. ~ James Ponti

Oh. I get it." Abby laughed. "This is where you bid on someone to wash your car."

"Naked," Charli said.

"Or check the shower tiles."

"Also naked."

Abby laughed. "I'm guessing that as long as there's wet and naked, we're all good."

Fiona let out a long sigh.

"What was that?" Charli asked with a lift to her perfect brows. "Have you got a victim---I mean a participant in mind?"

Fiona glanced across the hall. "Have you seen Jackson's fireman buddy?"

"No." Charli looked across the room. "Should we?"

"Too late," Fiona said. "I've got first dibs."

At that moment, Abby noticed the Wilder boys walk across the front of the room near the stage. Individually, they were stunning. As a group, they looked as appetizing as a decadent box of chocolates. Abby couldn't tear her eyes away from Jackson. Put him in a fireman suit, a tux jacket and jeans, or a simple T-shirt and cargo shorts, and he took her breath away.

Truthfully, she liked him best in noting at all.

"Holy guacamole." Charli gestured to a tall, dark, and devastating man walking with the group. "Is that who you are talking about?"

Fiona nodded. "I want to lick him up one side and down the other like a cherry Popsicle."

"Honey, you bid as high as you can go," Charli said. "And if you run out of money, you just let me know. I'd be happy to chip in. ~ Candis Terry

Under the twinkling trees was a table covered with Guatemalan fabric, roses in juice jars, wax rose candles from Tijuana and plates of food - Weetzie's Vegetable Love-Rice, My Secret Agent Lover Man's guacamole, Dirk's homemade pizza, Duck's fig and berry salad and Surfer Surprise Protein Punch, Brandy-Lynn's pink macaroni, Coyote's cornmeal cakes, Ping's mushu plum crepes and Valentine's Jamaican plantain pie. Witch Baby's stomach growled but she didn't leave her hiding place. Instead, she listened to the reggae, surf, soul and salsa, tugged at the snarl balls in her hair and snapped pictures of all the couples. ~ Francesca Lia Block

Happy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with guacamole. ~ David Letterman

Then Grover had a brilliant, totally Grover-like idea.
"Burrito fight!" he yelled, and flung his Guacamole Grande at the nearest skeleton.

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs." (The Titan's Curse - chapter 14, page 216) ~ Rick Riordan

Oh, gross! Zombie goo. (Caleb)
Ooo, I wonder if it tastes like chicken? What do you think? (Simi)
I think I'm never eating guacamole again as long as I live. (Caleb) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

A molcajete is a stone mortar and pestle from Mexico. They're great for grinding spices and making salsa and guacamole because they give everything a nice coarse and rustic feel. I've never collected anything, but I think I might start collecting these because each one is decorated differently. ~ Bobby Flay

The real secret to guacamole is that you use exactly the elements that you need, which is cilantro, onion, tomato, and jalapenos. And, of course, avocado. ~ Demian Bichir

Three things that always bring a smile to my face: making guacamole for my friends, getting pedicures with my mom, exploring an airport I've never been in. ~ Tyler Oakley

My husband is American but Italian. Then I have the Mexicano side. I see both in my kids. My daughter is more Italian - she leans towards pizza - and my son leans more towards guacamole and puts lime in everything. ~ Thalia

Our two taco specials get shoved up on the serving counter, crispy, cheesy goodness in brown plastic baskets lined with parchment paper, sour cream and guacamole exactly where they should be.

On the side.

There is a perfect ratio of sour cream, guac, and salsa on a shredded chicken tostada. No one can make it happen for you. Many restaurants have tried. All have failed. Only the mouth knows its own pleasure, and calibration like Taco Heaven cannot be mass produced.

It simply cannot.

Taco Heaven is a sensory explosion of flavor that defies logic. First, you have to eye the amount of spiced meat, shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, and tomatillos. You must consider the size and crispiness of the shells. Some people–I call them blasphemers–like soft tacos. I am sitting across from Exhibit A.

We won't talk about soft tacos. They don't make it to Taco Heaven. People who eat soft tacos live in Taco Purgatory, never fully understanding their moral failings, repeating the same mistakes again and again for all eternity.

Like Perky and dating.

Once you inventory your meat, lettuce, tomato, and shell quality, the real construction begins. Making your way to Taco Heaven is like a mechanical engineer building a bridge in your mouth. Measurements must be exact. Payloads are all about formulas and precision. One miscalculation and it all fails.

Taco Death is worse than Taco Purgatory, because the only re ~ Julia Kent

I always love a side of guacamole with everything. ~ Erin Heatherton

I suppose there are people who can pass up free guacamole, but they're either allergic to avocado or too joyless to live. ~ Frank Bruni

Rose and Carlos twisted together like chicken fight partners in knee-deep guacamole, ~ Richard Long

Holy guacamole. Was that a double entendre? I swear that was a double entendre. Someone hold my panties on for me because Mason Lowe was freaking flirting with me, using double entendres. ~ Linda Kage

I think my wife married me for my guacamole. ~ Kyle MacLachlan

I'll be back with the sandwiches," she said. "But I had some leftover seven-layer dip."
"Yum." Percy dug in with a tortilla chip. "She's kinda famous for this, guys."
Sally ruffled his hair. "There's guacamole, sour cream, refried beans, salsa - "
"Seven layers?" I looked up in wonder. "You knew seven is my sacred number? You invented this for me?"
Sally wiped her hands on her apron. "Well, actually, I can't take credit - "
"You are too modest!" I tried some of the dip. It tasted almost as good as ambrosia nachos. "You will have immortal fame for this, Sally Jackson! ~ Rick Riordan

I think a lot of education has to be involved. If they would have alternative items, so that, say, for a dollar more, you can get breakfast tacos stuffed with egg whites, and olive oil, and avocado; not guacamole, because they put the salt in it. Just ask for fresh avocado slices, and you could have that. ~ Sandra Cisneros

I love chips and salsa. Guacamole. ~ Julianne Hough