Grotesque Bible Quotes

To invoke a Kierkegaardesque figure of speech, the beauty of the language of the Bible can be like a set of dentist's instruments nearly laid out on a table and hanging on a wall, intriguing in their technological complexity and with their stainless steel highly polished
until they set to work on the job for which they were originally designed. Then all of a sudden my reaction changes from "How shiny and beautiful they all are!" to "Get that damned thing out of my mouth! ~ Jaroslav Pelikan

Mankind looks on the outward appearance, the Lord looks at the heart." 2Samuel 6:7 Holy Bible. ~ Anne B. Caluwaert

This is the Book. I have read the Bible through many times, and now make it a practice to read it through once every year. It is a book of all others for lawyers, as well as divines; and I pity the man who cannot find in it a rich supply of thought and of rules for conduct. It fits man for life
it prepares him for death. ~ Daniel Webster

Greenberg tells me, "Never blame a text from the Bible for your behavior. It's irresponsible. Anybody who says X, Y, and Z is in the Bible - it's as if one says, 'I have no role in evaluating this.'" The ~ A. J. Jacobs

Let him become a fool, that he may become wise. ~ Anonymous

How many people actually read the Bible and follow it? The truth is right there. How many people know what a marriage or family is all about? Everything starts with an idea, but getting people to act is different. You can't do something well if you don't know what it is or tried it for awhile. ~ Phil Mitchell

Blood is mentioned 460 times in the Bible. Fourteen times in the New Testament Jesus spoke of His own blood. Why? Because by the shedding of His blood, He accomplished the possibility of our salvation. ~ Billy Graham

The serpent's objective is clear. He seeks to drive a wedge of doubt into Adam and Eve's confidence in what God has told them. Satan knows the power of undermining a human being's confidence in what God has revealed. Sadly, the serpent's temptation was successful. Adam and Eve second-guessed God's trustworthiness and then rejected his command. They sinned and ate the forbidden fruit. This was the beginning of the fallen world we all experience. All generations following would have a natural bent for rebelling against God and being skeptical or indifferent to what he has said. To this day, Satan's objective has not changed. Though his questions look a little different at times, they all contain the same idea ~ Jon Morrison

God speaks to us individually, each and every one of us, that we need neither pope nor priest, nor bleeding statue, to find our way to faith. God is calling and we only have to listen. There are no clever tricks to forgiveness. There is only one way and there is only one Bible, and a woman can study it as well as a man. ~ Philippa Gregory

The psalmist [of Psalm 119] was interested in truth and orthodoxy, in biblical teaching and theology, not as ends in themselves, but as means to the further ends of life and godliness. His ultimate concern was with the knowledge and service of the great God whose truth he sought to understand (pp. 22-23). ~ J.I. Packer

Men cannot expect to do ill and fare well, but to find that done to them which they did to others. ~ Matthew Henry

I'm not moving in with anyone until I marry them," he said.
I hadn't heard anyone say this since I was fifteen and my parents forced me to go to Bible camp. "Swell," I said. "And I'm not sleeping with anyone until I marry them."
Caleb turned his best 'I can have you whenever I want you' look on me, and I got so flustered I didn't know whether to kiss him or blush. ~ Tarryn Fisher

A Cultist is one who has a strong belief in the Bible and the Second Coming of Christ; who frequently attends Bible studies; who has a high level of financial giving to a Christian cause; who home schools his children; who has accumulated survival foods and has a strong belief in the 2nd Amendment, and who distrusts Big Government. ~ Janet Reno

Who I've determined I am is limited by the fact that I'm the one who's done the determining. With that being the case, I'd be wiser to consider who God says I am. ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough

She was going to be okay. I knew she was. She had forever changed my life and I had changed hers. I had heard a soldier once speak of the camaraderie men who fight in battle have with each other. I felt that way with Bathsheba now. She was more than just a name in my Bible, and we'd become more than just friends. ~ Anna Aquino

What we call creation science makes no reference to the Bible. It says there are two possible explanations for the origin of the universe and living things: theistic, supernatural creation by an intelligent being, or nontheistic, mechanistic evolutionary theory that posits no goal and no purpose in the evolutionary process. We just happen to be here. ~ Duane Gish

He is the Creator and the sustainer of all things. He is the unchanging, self-existent God, and that means that He depends on nobody. He is neither helped by our faith nor hindered by our unbelief. ~ Colin S. Smith

The biblical method of change begins in the heart of man with the Gospel. It transforms the mind of man and gradually works its way out. And it builds a nation from the bottom up. ~ Kirk Cameron

All my life I'd been a believing Christian ... But that instant in the ER
the instant Annette [his wife] died
I seemed to feel my religious faith die, too.
As I thought more about it in the bleak days and weeks that followed, I decided the Bible had gotten it exactly backward. Maybe God hadn't created us in His image; maybe we'd created god in our image. ~ William M. Bass

Many Christians say that they get their morality from the Bible, but this cannot be true because as holy books go the Bible is possibly the most unhelpful guide ever written for determining right from wrong. It's chock-full of bizarre stories about dysfunctional families, advice about how to beat your slaves, how to kill your headstrong kids, how to sell your virgin daughters, and other clearly outdated practices that most cultures gave up centuries ago. ~ Michael Shermer

Most of the leading figures of the Old Testament were polygamists. Abraham had several wives and concubines. If they wanted, they could say this was approved in the Bible. ~ Desmond Tutu

It's ironic that the Bible belt is the killing belt - Texas, Florida, Alabama, Virginia, and so forth, Georgia. Chief executioners. ~ Joseph Lowery

I hate clowns," I say. "Why'd you have to bring up clowns? Zs aren't enough? Gotta talk about the smiley creepy guys too? ~ Jake Bible

What distinguishes the arid ages from the period of the Reformation, when nations were moved as they had not been since Paul preached in Ephesus, Corinth, and Rome, is the latter's fullness of knowledge of God's Word. To echo an early Reformation thought, when the ploughman and the garage attendant know the Bible as well as the theologian does, and know it better than some contemporary theologians, then the desired awakening shall have already occurred. ~ Gordon H. Clark

We've got enough going on in our lives today without stressing about things that might or might not happen tomorrow ~ Karen Gibbs

The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity. ~ Mark Twain

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord praised. ~ Bible, Job 1:21, NASV

Next to praying there is nothing so important in practical religion as Bible reading. By reading that book we may learn what to believe, what to be, and what to do; how to live with comfort, and how to die in peace.
Happy is that man who possesses a Bible! Happier still is he who reads it! Happiest of all is he who not only reads it, but obeys it, and makes it the rule of his faith and practice! ~ J.C. Ryle

God's Word tells us that God has spoken of old in many portions and in many ways through His servants concerning His heart's desire and that He loves us. But man did not understand. Therefore, God had to personally come to this world and become a man. This man is Jesus, the Christ, whom we know. ~ Watchman Nee

I keep the bible in a pool of blood so that none of its lies can affect me. ~ Slayer

The Bible account of man's creation is that God created him perfect and upright, an earthly image of himself; that man sought out various inventions and defiled himself (Gen. 1:27; Rom. 5:12; Eccl. 7:29); that, all being sinners, the race was unable to help itself, and none could by any means redeem his brother or give to God a ransom for him (Psa. 49: 7, 15); that God in compassion and love had made provision for this; that, accordingly, the Son of God became a man, and gave man's ransom-price; that, as a reward for this sacrifice, and in order to the completion of the great work of atonement, he was highly exalted, even to the divine nature; and that in due time he will bring to pass a restitution of the race to the original perfection and to every blessing then possessed. These things are clearly taught in the Scriptures, from beginning to end, and are in direct opposition to the Evolution theory; or, rather, such 'babblings of science, falsely so called,' are in violent and irreconcilable conflict with the Word of God. ~ Charles Taze Russell