Golf Carts Quotes

Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart. ~ Robert Redford

I have to admit," I said when he finished a lengthy discussion on the types of drivers, "I've been golfing and it's about the most boring thing I've ever done. Old men drive around in golf carts pretending they're sporty and getting grouchy if there's any noise. It's like the nursing-home Olympics."
Nick's mouth dropped open. "It takes great athletic ability to know how to aim and drive the ball that far."
"I get more exercise shopping at the mall," I joked. "I don't come home and tell everyone I won at shopping." Although those red shoes I got on sale the other day felt like a win. ~ Cindi Madsen

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch. ~ Jen Kirkman

I learned a valuable lesson doing 'Mr. Sunshine,' which is that I didn't want to be in charge because it's too much. Being in charge and acting in every scene was just too difficult. It's like eating dinner in a moving golf cart every night. ~ Matthew Perry

I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it. ~ Mac Davis

In my opinion, no young player can develop his or her game to its highest potential if he or she rides around the course in a golf cart. ~ Harvey Penick

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart. ~ Buddy Hackett

Hawaii once had a rat problem. Then, somebody hit upon a brilliant solution. import mongooses from India. Mongooses would kill the rats. It worked. Mongooses did kill the rats. Mongooses also killed chickens, young pigs, birds, cats, dogs, and small children. There have been reports of mongooses attacking motorbikes, power lawn mowers, golf carts, and James Michener. in Hawaii now, there are as many mongooses as there once were rats. Hawaii had traded its rat problem for a mongoose problem. Hawaii was determined nothing like that would ever happen again.
How could Leigh-Cheri draw for Gulietta the appropriate analogy between Hawaii's rodents and society at large? Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem. ~ Tom Robbins

I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait. ~ Cameron Diaz

After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind), I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn't fix in a hurry. ~ Bill Bryson

I used to think that elder love, if it even existed, was confined to rocking chairs or golf carts, that it had to be a dull business because of the physical limitations of age. ~ Nora Johnson

I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart. ~ Brent Musburger

When one thinks of golf and Scotland, the first thing that comes to mind is usually St. Andrews, especially the famed Old Course. ~ Raymond Bonner

Everybody who plays top-level sport, whether it's golf or football, or whatever, needs to get into 'The Zone' ... For me personally, on the morning of a round, preparation is always about getting into the zone. The less I communicate with other people, the better. I'm trying to rehearse in my mind what I am working on in my game: going through my swing keys, going through my putting keys. When I get to the course I get the pin positions for the day and I'll analyze those. I'll make a strategy for the golf course and look how I'm going to play it ~ Paul McGinley

I realize that's why we play golf, to hit the ball into the hole. But it is a strange feeling when you hit the shot and it actually goes in. ~ Hollis Stacy

In golf, a player can step and mar the line of his adversary's putt. A player can also hit his adversary or his caddie intentionally with his ball and claim the hole - but it isn't usually done. ~ Charles Brown MacDonald

Media access to us is more regulated than in golf. ~ Pete Sampras

When golf used to be a rich man's sport, if you were poor you could not step foot on a course. ~ Shia Labeouf

Have you ever actually listened to golfers talking to each other? "Looked good starting out ... " "Better direction than last time ... " "Who's away? ... " It sounds like visitors' day at a home for the criminally insane. ~ Peter Andrews

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch. ~ Lee Trevino

torn out with pincers, and his body burned alive, because he had not kneeled down in the rain to do honour to a dirty procession of monks which passed within his view, at a distance of some fifty or sixty yards. It is likely enough that, rooted in the woods of France and Norway, there were growing trees, when that sufferer was put to death, already marked by the Woodman, Fate, to come down and be sawn into boards, to make a certain movable framework with a sack and a knife in it, terrible in history. It is likely enough that in the rough outhouses of some tillers of the heavy lands adjacent to Paris, there were sheltered from the weather that very day, rude carts, bespattered with rustic mire, snuffed about by pigs, and roosted in by poultry, which the Farmer, Death, had already set apart to be his tumbrils of the Revolution. But that Woodman and that Farmer, though they work unceasingly, work silently, and no one heard them as they went about with muffled tread: the rather, forasmuch as to entertain any suspicion that they were awake, was to be atheistical and traitorous. ~ Charles Dickens

The best stroked putt in a lifetime does not bring the aesthetic satisfaction of a perfectly hit wood or iron shot. There is nothing to match the whoosh and soar, the almost magical flight of a beautifully hit drive or 5-iron. ~ Al Barkow

I hit the ball really well ... had a lot of good looks at birdie all day, it's firm but you could control your golf ball, for sure. Today I controlled my ball very well. The confidence is definitely there. I feel really good about where I'm at and going into tomorrow. ~ Dustin Johnson

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using 'an outside agency' and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf. ~ Henry Longhurst

A golf hole is so small. It's almost like they don't want me to put my penis in it. In just a few more strokes, I'll be finished with this round. ~ Jarod Kintz

If you ever feel sorry for somebody on a golf course, you better go home. If you don't kill them, they'll kill you. ~ Seve Ballesteros

If you're going to be a player people will remember, you have to win the Open at St. Andrews. ~ Jack Nicklaus

In 2009, School Administrator magazine asked Hall to relate her "biggest blooper." It was, she said, "when a staff member planned a team-building exercise at our senior team retreat to play miniature golf at day's end, only to find out it was actually 18 holes of regular night golf. Most of us were not golfers and were not happy with the surprise." Her blunder, in other words, was leaving the details in the hands of an underling. ~ Anonymous

It was the oldest friends who mattered most. With each passing year, Paulette realized this more deeply. She thought of her borther Roy, retired to Arizona, to golf with other men who were also - she loathed the expression - senior citizens. Roy had arrived in Phoenix with an entire life behind him, a career, a marriage; to his new friends he'd always be old. ~ Jennifer Haigh

When I am working it is up early and coffee and 15 hours of being on the set. When I am not working, it is up late and coffee, golf or softball and hopefully a ball game on the television. ~ Mackenzie Astin

Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart. ~ John Updike

When the British Open is in Scotland, there's something special about it. And when it's at St. Andrews, it's even greater. ~ Jack Nicklaus

I am very pleased with my synthetic golf green from Southwest Greens. It reacts like a championship golf green, so I can practice my short game whenever I'm at home. I couldn't believe that a synthetic green could be this perfect. ~ Matteo Manassero

I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good. ~ Michelle Wie

Scott goes to the computer and loads a chart that says something about global warming. Scott says, "See?" Judy says, "I don't think global warming is important, people shouldn't need to use global warming as an excuse to stop being wasteful." Scott says, "How can you not believe this?" Judy says, "There has been golf ball-sized hail storms and hurricanes for a long time, it didn't just start all of the sudden. In the movie Al Gore drives in an SUV." Scott leaves to have a cigarette. Cory says, "Al Gore owns his own farm." Judy stares at the TV. Judy thinks, "No one in this room cares about global warming, this is ridiculous, we are all smoking cigarettes and eating cheese, how can any one of us care about voting? No one in this room cares about anything. ~ Ellen Kennedy

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners. ~ Henry Beard

I've never played golf with Tiger Woods. To tell the truth, I'm not sure that watching him pound it 100 yards past me all day is something I'd like to do. ~ Tim Finchem

Golf is a mental disorder. ~ Edgar Rice Burroughs

Americans are less mystical about what produced their inland or meadow courses; they are the product of the bulldozerm rotary ploughs, mowers, sprinkler systems and alarmingly generous wads of folding money. ~ Alistair Cooke

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort. ~ Stephen Leacock

For instance, he says I let him play golf, and he says, he lets me be miserable in my job. Now - that doesn't quite sound right, does it? But nonetheless, I think for the first time in my life, I'm not going to be miserable in my life when I come and work at CNN. ~ Connie Chung

His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays. ~ Ian Baker-Finch

A surrogate activity is an activity that is directed toward an artificial goal that the individual pursues for the sake of the "fulfillment" that he gets from pursuing the goal, not because he needs to attain the goal itself. For instance, there is no practical motive for building enormous muscles, hitting a little ball into a hole or acquiring a complete series of postage stamps. Yet many people in our society devote themselves with passion to bodybuilding, golf or stamp-collecting. Some people are more "other-directed" than others, and therefore will more readily attach importance to a surrogate activity simply because the people around them treat it as important or because society tells them it is important. That is why some people get very serious about essentially trivial activities such as sports, or bridge, or chess, or arcane scholarly pursuits, whereas others who are more clear-sighted never see these things as anything but the surrogate activities that they are, and consequently never attach enough importance to them to satisfy their need for the power process in that way. ~ Theodore J. Kaczynski

Golf is the one game I know
which becomes more and more
difficult the longer one plays it. ~ Bobby Jones

Plans can be like a winged horse, but their execution plods along pulling carts. ~ Laurel Lea

A story told me by Michael Barrie: Jesus and the Blessed Virgin go out to play golf. The Blessed Virgin is at the top of her form, drives and lands on the green. Jesus slices and lands in the bushes. A squirrel picks up the ball and runs off with it. A dog grab the squirrel, which still holds the ball in its mouth. An eagle swoops down, picks up the dog, squirrel and ball, and soars into the air. Out of a clear sky, lightning strikes the eagle, which drops the dog which drops the squirrel which drops the ball, right into the hole. The Blessed Virgin throws down her driver and exclaims indignantly, 'Look, are you going to play golf or just fuck around? ~ Christopher Isherwood

I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional. Then it was too late. ~ Steve Melnyk

I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course. ~ Tiger Woods