Gay Bar Quotes

Olsons P.I. 'Kenny Jones' as he approaches a barman in a notorious Bangkok Gay bar as part of an investigation -
'I was tempted to ask him if he had heard the one about the two condoms walking down Soi Rome when they see The Balcony Pub. One condom turns to the other and says 'Let's go in there and get shit-faced' - ~ Warren Olson

God, you mean I lost my virginity to the apocalypse?"
Morgan sighed again. "The whole thing was really embarrassing; my parents sent me to Brooklyn when they found out." She shrugged. "I thought I'd be safe in a gay bar, okay? What were you doing in there anyway?"
Lace looked at me sidelong. "You were where?"
I took a sip of beer, swallowed it. "I, uh, hadn't been in the city ... very long. I didn't know. ~ Scott Westerfeld

To hang out in a gay bar or put on a sequined halter top makes me feel like a total person. ~ Dennis Rodman

Not a lot of gay guys end up coming to alt-comedy-ish shows. They like all these '80s shimmer shows, or they like going to drag shows. It is always weird and interesting when I meet somebody at a gay bar who is familiar with my stuff. ~ Guy Branum

You're not hiding, but you're sitting in a gay bar at dinnertime. You're not hiding, but you're wearing that suit like it's armor. ~ Jodi Picoult

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Anyone who thinks women have a monopoly on gossip has never been to a gay bar. Those queens will rip you to shreds. ~ Andrew Grey

After graduation I probably won't see any of these people again."
I throw him a hurt look. "Hey! What about me?"
"Not you. You're coming to visit me in New York."
"Ooh! Yes, please."
"Sarah Lawrence is so close to the city. I'll be able to go to Broadway shows whenever I want. There's an app for same-day student tickets." He gets a faraway look in his eyes.
"You're so lucky," I say.
"I'll take you. We'll go to a gay bar, too. It'll be amazing."
"Thank you!"
"But everybody else I can take or leave."
"We still have Beach Week," I remind him, and he nods.
"For the rest of our lives, we'll always have Beach Week," he says mockingly, and I throw a hair tie at him. ~ Jenny Han

On the other hand, we are not given a Book of Mormon for some time, just when Christopher had begun to feel insulted. It was analogous, he said, to going to a gay bar and not being checked out. He wasn't gay, but wasn't it nice to be asked? ~ Liz Stephens

John Paulk, the poster boy for 'ex-gays' was found in a gay bar in Washington. He said he was there to use the bathroom. But nobody thought to ask him for what. ~ Kate Clinton

Ten years later, while I was innocently pole-dancing at a seedy gay bar in Michigan, I bumped into Andrea. I screamed over the loud music that I wanted to introduce her to my boyfriend, and she yelled back that she wanted to introduce me to her girlfriend. Funny how all things work out, if you just give them a decade. ~ Tyler Oakley

WHEN you hit a gay bar in the middle of a weekday afternoon you wonder why they don't call it something else. ~ Lawrence Block

Did I just create Ben/Jason slash fiction? Do people care enough about me to even write Ben/Jason slash fiction? Do I get royalty checks for slash fiction? Probably not. ~ Larry Gent

Phin spared a moment of sympathy for Frank until he looked back and saw him at the bar, leaning into Clea's cleavage. Get a grip, Frank, he thought, and then he looked down Sophie's dress and thought, Never mind, Frank. ~ Jennifer Crusie

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over. ~ Jon Stewart

Thank you, Sabina. Oh. One more thing. Tonight, a white werewolf stuck in wolf form, one who met the angel Hayyel, ran up and bit the foot of Joses Bar-Judas. Should I be worried? ~ Faith Hunter

Envy's a sharper spur than pay: No author ever spar'd a brother; Wits are gamecocks to one another. ~ John Gay

Gay, straight, whore, prude, whatever. If it made someone happy and didn't hurt someone else, do it. Life was too short. ~ Charlotte Reagan

Doc turned in the seat and looked back. The disappearing sun shone on his laughing face, his gay and eager face. With his left hand he held the bucking steering wheel.
Cannery Row looked after the ancient car. It made the first turn and was gone from sight behind a warehouse just as the sun was gone.
Fauna said, 'I wonder if I'd be safe to put up her gold star tonight. What the hell's the matter with you, Mack?'
Mack said, 'Vice is a monster so frightful of mien, I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings.' He put his arm around Hazel's shoulders. 'I think you'd of made a hell of a president,' he said. ~ John Steinbeck

Today, the ideal male is the gay man and the ideal female is the worker female, the woman who can work in a coal mine just like all the other men. ~ Camille Paglia

He leaned back in his seat throwing his hands behind his head; sort of an open offer for the entire bar to get a good look at what he was working with and it was quite impressive. God why did he have to have tattoos? Or the killer smile he was so blatantly using as foreplay. And since when did smiling at a girl count as foreplay? I wasn't sure but I guess Carter was the one living man capable of this. ~ Maven West

I don't have a chance [on being elected Mayor of New Orleans]. I'm running on the gay marriage, no religion, legalization and taxation of marijuana platform. ~ Brad Pitt

She was going to be pissed when I showed up in the bar tonight, but Bo and Blake were never going to touch her again. Ever. ~ Lisa Kessler

I was inadvertently raised in the 'gay community.' I had straight parents, but I spent massive amounts of time at a very early age with gay, theater-hopeful thirty-somethings. ~ Darren Criss

Why do you think people don't think that homosexual parents are good? You don't know what a homosexual family looks like. I will be the role model for the good gay family. Don't let these children suffer without families because of your bias. ~ Rosie O'Donnell

Conservatives don't need to change core convictions to embrace the growing support for equal rights for gay Americans. ~ Ken Mehlman

When I was a kid, I used to walk around all day with crab apples in my cheeks. One in each cheek."

I threw the book down. It was impossible to read anything with a guy like Orr around you.

"Why?" I finally asked.

"Because they're better than horse chestnuts," he answered with a twinge of triumph in his voice.

"Why'd you walk around with crab apples in your cheeks? That's what I asked," I said, glaring at him.

He didn't notice, of course. He was still pacing around the room.

"When I couldn't get crab apples, I used horse chestnuts. They're about the same size and actually have a better shape, though the shape don't matter much. Who belongsa this?" He was holding the hunting knife from the mosquito-net bar by the dead man in our tent. That guy Orr'd pick up anything. I told him it was the dead man's. So he chucked it backwards, and it landed three inches away from the dead man's head. If Old Orr had better aim, it probably woulda killed the guy, if he weren't already dead.

"Why did you walk around with anything in your cheeks?" I was losing my patience now. You always lose your patience when you're talking with a guy like Orr.

"I didn't walk around with anything in my cheeks. I walked around with crab apples in my cheeks, and when I couldn't get crab apples I used horse chestnuts. In my cheeks. One in each cheek."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted… ~ Joseph Heller

Masks are the order of the day - and the least I can do is cultivate the illusion that I am gay, serene, not hollow and afraid. ~ Sylvia Plath

The revolution I was starting where I thought I could yell at 200 people in a bar every night and change the world didn't quite happen. ~ Doug Stanhope

He burst out laughing. "You look like a warm shade of Frosty the Snowman! It's all over your cheeks and nose."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah?" I swiped my finger along the inside of the icing bowl and tapped his nose. "Well you look like Rudolph. ~ Shaye Evans

There's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation. What's done in private between adults doesn't concern the Criminal Code. ~ Pierre Trudeau

I believe in gay marriage. ~ David H. Koch

I love being around cool, fun guys, so I've always enjoyed talking to gay men. Maybe it's because I'm an inherent flirt, but it just feels very natural. ~ David Walton

In more than 500 instances, from the Gulf of Alaska to Bar Harbor, Maine, FEMA has remapped waterfront properties from the highest-risk flood zone, saving the owners as much as 97 percent on the premiums they pay into the financially strained National Flood Insurance Program. ~ Bill Dedman

I believe a Christian muffler shop owner should have the same right to refuse service to a gay couple, as a gay lifeguard has to refuse service to a drowning Christian. ~ Quentin R. Bufogle

It would be so helpful for the straight community to see men in powerful positions coming out and saying "I'm gay" so they don't have these preconceived notions that all gay men are smarmy idiots living on the street or whatever it is people think of gay men. I think it would be really helpful and productive. ~ Madonna Ciccone

Last week she wanted to be gay. Before that she talked monasteries. I think this is a constructive step toward her forgiving every penis-possessing human and moving on with her life. ~ Kylie Scott

[Speaking about same-sex marriage] It's about familiarity, and I think the only reason they're uncomfortable with the notion of same-sex marriages is because they haven't come into contact with gay and lesbian couples enough to understand that it's about love and that it is a civil right. ~ Jennifer Beals

I have some good friends of my own who happen to be gay, and when it comes to gay, straight, or whatever, I'm for anything life-affirmative. I'm for gay power, straight power, male power, female power; everybody should feel empowered without oppressing anyone who's different. ~ Matthew McConaughey

I have a nihilistic attitude so it's like, the new gay ... it's popular. ~ Gerard Way

I think very few people are gay. I'm a two-percenter myself. ~ Andrew Sullivan

The reality is that most gay couples don't want to adopt a child. Those who do, though, are often prepared to devote themselves entirely to their adoptive child. ~ Jens Spahn

A werewolf bite turned me gay? ~ Tielle St. Clare

A handful of dead astronauts and Reagan weeps with the nation. Thirteen thousand dead gay men and Reagan's too busy. ~ Rebecca Makkai

In any film, there are 10 male roles for 1 female role, especially in the action films. They're heavy with the guys. ~ Marcia Gay Harden

Straight Americans need an education of the heart and soul. They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul. ~ Bruce Bawer

I didn't set out to do a gay comic, but given the current political and religious climate in this country, I feel it is important as a gay person, and a Christian, to create stories with humor and honesty. ~ Paige Braddock

People get dumped all the time, and it sucks, but you know what you do? You cry; you smash a few plates; you go to a karaoke bar and make a fool of yourself. However you choose to deal with it, it's your shit to handle. It's your burden to carry. You don't drag other people down with you. You don't turn up on the doorstep in the middle of the night acting like a raving lunatic. ~ Lang Leav

God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system. ~ Daniel Tosh

It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher. ~ Chelsea Handler

I am certainly a devoted homosexual. Nobody could doubt my credentials. But I think, politically, we allowed this word gay to...It buggers up a nice word. It doesn't cover what we are. A lot of us are not very joyous. We have a hard life to live, against the current. Gay doesn't cover that - and worst of all, it labels us. They can dismiss you and put you off in a corner: "Oh, he's gay," and that's it. That's the end. You can no longer be central to what's going on. That's tragic....The world loses central contact with some of the most beautiful, sentient, sensitive and agitated, creative and emotional people in our society. The result is that a lot of people who operate centrally in our society can't let on that they're gay. It's tragic. It's very dangerous. ~ Scott Symons

You want to help gay kids, you have to reach them in middle school and high school, when they're being bullied. ~ Dan Savage

Renée and I met at a bar called the Eastern Standard in Charlottesville, Virginia. I had just moved there to study English in grad school. Renée was a fiction writer in the MFA program. I was sitting with my poet friend Chris in a table in the back, when I fell under the spell of Renée's bourbon-baked voice. The bartender put on Big Star's Radio City. Renée was the only other person in the room who perked up. We started talking about how much we loved Big Star. It turned out we had the same favorite Big Star song – the acoustic ballad Thirteen. She'd never heard their third album, Sister Lovers. So naturally, I told her the same thing I'd told every other woman I'd ever fallen for: "I'll make you a tape! ~ Rob Sheffield

I opened my mouth to do some calm explaining. "I'm gay." is what came out. ~ Jane B. Mason