Gallagher Comedian Quotes

#1. At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents. - Author: Joan Rivers

#2. It started off for me as just wanting to be an actor and sort of resenting in a weird way being expected to write as well as be a comedian and an improviser. And then you think about it for a minute, and I smartened up and realized that the only way to sustain a career is to generate your own material. Or to be in control of your career as best you can. And in allowing yourself to do that it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. And then you're like "Oh, producing is a thing." - Author: Rob Corddry

#3. When you see a comedian on stage, the best comedians make it feel like a conversation. But it's not. We have very little interest in what an audience has to say during a performance. Being a stand-up comedian, you're an egomaniac to some degree. Everyone wants to hear what you have to say, apparently. That's not how real relationships work. - Author: Hari Kondabolu

#4. I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that. - Author: Ellen DeGeneres

#5. I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy. - Author: Dennis Miller

#6. You know, I've never thought of myself as a comedian. - Author: Terry Jones

#7. As a comedian, especially one that works as much as I do, there is a lot of sacrifice. People don't see that I'm away from my family 46 weeks out of the year. I miss all the birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. - Author: Gabriel Iglesias

#8. I was a stand-up comedian for 10 years, if you can believe it. And I gave it up at age 22. - Author: Samm Levine

#9. I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me. - Author: Carrot Top

#10. I think politicians and comedians have a lot in common. One is a group of approval-seeking narcissists who will say and do anything to be liked ... and comedians are always talking about politics. - Author: Aasif Mandvi

#11. I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that. - Author: Bruce Bruce

#12. Want to extinguish an adolescent's curiosity? Cover as much material as possible. - Author: Kelly Gallagher

#13. It really helps a comedian to be an outsider. - Author: John Oliver

#14. I'm more of a comedian. I wouldn't mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool. - Author: Cheyenne Kimball

#15. Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her. - Author: Tim Conway

#16. Now, I want to explain something to you guys. I don't have an ending joke, because I don't tell jokes. I tell real-life stories and make them funny. So, I'm not like the average comedian. They have an ending joke; they always holler Peace! I'm out of here, and walk off stage. So, basically, when I get through performing on stage, I just walk off. - Author: Bruce Bruce

#17. I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book. - Author: Greg Behrendt

#18. I also talk a lot in Deeper Reading about the importance that confusion plays. When my students come to me, they think confusion is bad. They are wrong. Confusion is the place where learning occurs. - Author: Kelly Gallagher

#19. I did a lot of community theatre and met a manager that worked out of Philadelphia, and she started sending me up to New York for auditions, and I got the part in a play at Manhattan Theatre Club when I was 15. - Author: John Gallagher, Jr.

#20. As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian. - Author: Shelley Berman

#21. The writer's business is to find the shape in unruly life and to serve her story. - Author: Dorothy Gallagher

#22. I think there is a weird loneliness that comes with being a comedian. There is something definitely inside the personality of a person who wants to be a comedian, and (he or she) is looking to connect (to the audience) at all times. - Author: Chris Gethard

#23. [Adoption] could turn you into an exquisite comedian. Ask Richard Pryor's ghost. - Author: Keegan-Michael Key

#24. The problem is you make the tricks look good. You are a brilliant acrobat, and a witty comedian. You are skillful. People want a fool to be foolish
trip on banana peels and grin and spout nonsense. These men want fools to make them feel better about themselves, not to remind them what they lack. - Author: Kelli Swofford Nielsen

#25. Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through. - Author: Gilda Radner

#26. It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo ... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey. - Author: Jon Stewart

#27. I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. - Author: Dennis Miller

#28. I was willing to do anything that Chris Carter wrote. - Author: Megan Gallagher

#29. To stay on the map you've got to keep showing up. - Author: Peter Gallagher

#30. I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man. - Author: Pat Paulsen

#31. Being a comedian, you're under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform - to deal with pressure without stress. - Author: Al Franken

#32. The truth is, for however much my stories come out of things that have happened to me, they're not darkly or as deeply personal as someone like Marc Maron or a lot of comedians, but they are essentially my life and my interpretation of it. - Author: Eugene Mirman

#33. One can always lament, you know - but to laugh in the face of life, that's very hard. And for me the great tragedian should also be a great comedian. - Author: Martha Graham

#34. If you're creating anything at all, it's really dangerous to care about what people think. - Author: Kristen Wiig

#35. I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the wide range of references. - Author: John Cleese

#36. Being a lad is what I'm about. - Author: Liam Gallagher

#37. I think comedians should focus on what makes them happy, what art form fulfills them the most. Don't be calculated about it and say, 'Okay, I'm gonna tweet, and I'm gonna podcast, and I'm gonna do standup, and one of those things is going to lead me to my own TV show.' I don't think that should be the goal. - Author: Scott Aukerman

#38. Drugs is like getting up and having a cup of tea in the morning. - Author: Noel Gallagher

#39. When his phone rang, he had to dig through his pocket to find it, and his fingers brushed against a pair of tiny earbuds he and Kat had last used in Monte Carlo. Hale smiled a little, realizing he hadn't worn the tux in ages. It was just one of many ways his life had change in the years since a girl named Katarina Bishop crawled into his window and into his life.
- Double Crossed by Ally Carter - Author: Ally Carter

#40. Everyone thinks I'm a comedian - which I am and are. I was born into a comedic family but I'm trained as an actor. - Author: Marlon Wayans

#41. The comedian can put the punchline out there, but it's the audience that receives it - and has to get it. - Author: Rachel Sklar

#42. Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you - Author: Ellen DeGeneres