Funny Sister Quotes

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Quotes About Funny Sister

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Elder sisters never can do younger ones justice! ~ Charlotte Mary Yonge
Funny Sister quotes by Charlotte Mary Yonge
I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. It's really funny the way that some people don't give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly. ~ Hilary Duff
Funny Sister quotes by Hilary Duff
I never looked at myself as the fat sister. Sometimes I would beat people to the punch and say, 'Oh I'm the fat, funny one,' because that's what people would say about me. But I never really thought that. ~ Khloe Kardashian
Funny Sister quotes by Khloe Kardashian
There's no better friend than a sister ... ~ Mary Engelbreit
Funny Sister quotes by Mary Engelbreit
On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed. ~ Russell Brand
Funny Sister quotes by Russell Brand
Count the steps
and keep the number.
Pick the white pebbles
and the funny strange leaves.
Mark the curves
and cliffs around
for you may need
to come home again. ~ Tenzin Tsundue
Funny Sister quotes by Tenzin Tsundue
It is funny what a year can do. ~ Victor Cruz
Funny Sister quotes by Victor Cruz
I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way. ~ Ron Atkinson
Funny Sister quotes by Ron Atkinson
The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading. ~ Natasha Leggero
Funny Sister quotes by Natasha Leggero
I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water. ~ Jim Gaffigan
Funny Sister quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Most of the time romance isn't even about love, anyway. It's about escape. Fantasy. Salvation from the mundane. Save me from boredom, from exhaustion, from my undersexed body, from microwave dinners and reality TV, from going to bed alone with a vibrator or a cat. Save me from my desperately ordinary life. ~ Leah Raeder
Funny Sister quotes by Leah Raeder
You're all Helen talks about. She's been reading Welsh history books and plaguing the family with accounts of Owain Glynd and something called the Eistedfodd." His eyes sparkled with friendly mockery. "Helen was hacking and spitting so much the other day that we thought she was coming down with a cold, until we realized she was practicing the Welsh alphabet."
Ordinarily Rhys would have made some sarcastic retort, but he'd barely noticed the gibe. His chest had gone tight with pleasure.
"She doesn't have to do that," he muttered.
"Helen wants to please you," Devon said. "It's her nature. Which leads to something I want to make clear: Helen is like a younger sister to me. And although I'm obviously the last man alive who should lecture anyone about propriety, I expect you to behave like an altar boy with her for the next few days."
Rhys gave him a surly glance. "I *was* an altar boy, and I can tell you that reports of their virtue are highly exaggerated. ~ Lisa Kleypas
Funny Sister quotes by Lisa Kleypas
When I started my program ... there was a big clock in the corner and I looked and it said nine o'clock exactly. And it was funny, because when I was standing on the podium, it said exactly 10 p.m., and this whole hour had changed my life. ~ Sarah Hughes
Funny Sister quotes by Sarah Hughes
I have heard stories that it was love at first sight for both of us, that we disappeared to a guest room at Merle's house, had our meals sent up, and didn't emerge for several days. This is absolutely untrue. I would never behave like that as a guest in someone's home. Carlos and I went to my beach house. ~ Martha Graham
Funny Sister quotes by Martha Graham
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush. ~ Rita Rudner
Funny Sister quotes by Rita Rudner
Jazz came to America three hundred years ago in chains. ~ Paul Whiteman
Funny Sister quotes by Paul Whiteman
Now the country is in a terrible state and you've blamed it on a number of things - unemployment rate, the value of the pound, and all that. It's actually because the national anthem is boring. ~ Billy Connolly
Funny Sister quotes by Billy Connolly
Here for business or pleasure, Mr. Wheeler?"
"Redemption," Shane says. ~ Jess Walter
Funny Sister quotes by Jess Walter
I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge. ~ Paula Poundstone
Funny Sister quotes by Paula Poundstone
I want the honest truth about something. Could you really fight with someone who did as much damage to you as my father has done to me? (Urian)
I subjected myself to the goddess who drugged me to the point I couldn't protect my sister and nephew the night they were brutally slaughtered, and they were the only two people in the universe who'd ever given two shits about me. Later that same day, she stood back and let her twin brother butcher me on the floor like an animal, yet within hours after that I sold myself to her to protect mankind. For the sake of the Dark-Hunters, I subjected myself to her cruel whims for eleven thousand years. So, yeah, Urian, I think I could manage to suck it up for an hour to protect the rest of the world. (Acheron) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Sister quotes by Sherrilyn Kenyon
I tried to picture a bunch of guys in blue suits running around a beachside neighborhood, knocking on doors and flashing Fed creds. That should cause a stampede of illegal aliens heading south. ~ Nelson DeMille
Funny Sister quotes by Nelson DeMille
Ooh!" Willy pipes up. "Maybe he'll write a story about Santa and Mrs. Claus getting caught with their pants down with other people. If we get lucky, maybe he'll kill-"

"Don't finish that sentence, elf."

"Randy, you're such a spoilsport. You can't say you haven't conjured up that scenario in your big head a time or a dozen. Continue. Maybe I'll write that story."

"No, you won't. Your idea of a good story is nothing but sex, sex, and more sex. You'd never make it through writing a chapter because you'd have to stop and jerk off a half dozen times."

"Ew! Not about Santa and Mrs. Claus. Yuck," Willy comes back at him with a sour look on his face. "That's not even funny, Randy. ~ Candi Kay
Funny Sister quotes by Candi Kay
Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living. ~ Pauly Shore
Funny Sister quotes by Pauly Shore
I don't think I was anything short of ecstatic when I found out 'It's Kind of a Funny Story' would be premiering in Toronto. ~ Keir Gilchrist
Funny Sister quotes by Keir Gilchrist
Hence, why Tudeski is only my pen name (stage name – made up name) and I don't use my real surname when I write anything any longer. Clever of me, right? No, not really, my real surname got fucked over by critics long before I actually found out an author could use a pretend name – I just believe it's Tudeski's turn to take some of this shit now! ~ Jimmy Tudeski
Funny Sister quotes by Jimmy Tudeski
The black volhv pivoted to me. "I have questions."
"Can it wait?"
"No. Your wedding is in two weeks. Have you prepared your guest list?"
"Why do I need a list? I kind of figured that whoever wanted to show up would show up."
"You need a list so you know how many people you are feeding. Do you have a caterer?"
"No."
"But you did order the cake?"
"Umm…"
"Florist?"
"Florist?"
"The person who delivers expensive flowers and sets them up in pretty arrangements everyone ignores?"
"No."
Roman blinked. "I'm almost afraid to ask. Do you at least have the dress?"
"Yes."
"Is it white?"
"Yes."
He squinted at me. "Is it a wedding dress?"
"It's a white dress."
"Have you worn it before?"
"Maybe."
Ascanio snickered."
"The ring, Kate?"
Oh crap.
Roman heaved a sigh. "What do you think this is, a party where you get to show up, say 'I do,' and go home?"
"Yes?" That's kind of how it went in my head. ~ Ilona Andrews
Funny Sister quotes by Ilona Andrews
Indulgence, twin sister of guilt. ~ Suzanne Curchod
Funny Sister quotes by Suzanne Curchod
The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny. ~ Joan Jett
Funny Sister quotes by Joan Jett
Hey, get off my sister," Kieran barked from the other side.
"Get lost, Black," I called out. "And she's not your sister."
"May as well be."
"Well, you stop kissing Solange and I'll stop kissing Hunter."
Silence."
"Chapter 24 ~ Alyxandra Harvey
Funny Sister quotes by Alyxandra Harvey
Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they? ~ J.K. Rowling
Funny Sister quotes by J.K. Rowling
But why me?
Because, idiot, you ... are funny and smart and you have a giant heart that you can't even pretend to hide. And you love your friends and your mum, and you held my hand and made me sing when I was so scared I thought I was going to die. I knew you understood, right from the beginning, this thing inside, the stuff in your head that you need to make real. You get that ... And you wear stupid Superman pyjamas without any irony, and your face lights up when you talk about the movies you love ... And ... you protect my dwarf. You always have her back. And you have a dimple when you smile that's so cute I almost died the first time I saw it. ~ Melissa Keil
Funny Sister quotes by Melissa Keil
He's a delinquent!" I yelled out to my parents. "He was arrested for shoplifting last year!"
No response.
"I just want you to know that I'm going to be hanging out with someone who has a criminal
record!" I cried.
"Let's not forget that our family can never reenter Luxembourg without being arrested!" my dad
yelled back.
Touché. ~ Robin Benway
Funny Sister quotes by Robin Benway
Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to do with. Charmingly domesticated troops of monkeys swing freely throughout our orchid-laden property. You're probably thinking that a lot of all-inclusive resorts have monkeys. True, but only one resort packs a monkey for each of their guests to take home. You'll be showing off more than a tan to your friends, you'll be showing off a gibbon. ~ Colin Nissan
Funny Sister quotes by Colin Nissan
Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog. ~ Damon Hill
Funny Sister quotes by Damon Hill
I stopped noticing the nit-picky things years ago, My late husband was brilliant, but never figured out dirty cups went in the sink. Used to drive me crazy, but one day I compared it to his good qualities. Supportive husband, hands-on dad. Smart, funny, awesome popcorn-maker. All that versus doesn't put cups in the sink. The latter just wasn't worth mentioning. ~ Donna Gentry Morton
Funny Sister quotes by Donna Gentry Morton
It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it. ~ Barack Obama
Funny Sister quotes by Barack Obama
I don't just try to be funny. ~ Bil Keane
Funny Sister quotes by Bil Keane
According to Mark 11:12-13, God's messengers were not the only ones who were incompetent: 'He [Jesus] was hungry. And on seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to see if he could find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.'
Imagine Jesus, the divine, holy, wisest of the wise not knowing that figs were out of season. Now allegedly Jesus could have performed a miracle and made figs magically appear, but he preferred sour grapes instead: Then he said to the tree, 'May no one ever eat fruit from you again.' (Mark 11:14) ~ G.M. Jackson
Funny Sister quotes by G.M. Jackson
The more monetized society is, the more anxious and hurried its citizens. In parts of the world that are still somewhat outside the money economy, where subsistence farming still exists and where neighbors help each other, the pace of life is slower, less hurried. In rural Mexico, everything is done mañana. A Ladakhi peasant woman interviewed in Helena Norberg-Hodge's film Ancient Futures sums it all up in describing her city-dwelling sister: "She has a rice cooker, a car, a telephone - all kinds of time-saving devices. Yet when I visit her, she is always so busy we rarely have time to talk."

For the animal, child, or hunter-gatherer, time is essentially infinite. Today its monetization has subjected it, like the rest, to scarcity. Time is life. When we experience time as scarce, we experience life as short and poor. If you were born before adult schedules invaded childhood and children were rushed around from activity to activity, then perhaps you still remember the subjective eternity of childhood, the afternoons that stretched on forever, the timeless freedom of life before the tyranny of calendar and clocks.

"Clocks," writes John Zerzan, "make time scarce and life short." Once quantified, time too could be bought and sold, and the scarcity of all money-linked commodities afflicted time as well. "Time is money," the saying goes, an identity confirmed by the metaphor "I can't afford the time. ~ Charles Eisenstein
Funny Sister quotes by Charles Eisenstein
Whenever he looks at me with those big brown eyes, I feel like giving him a nut, she said. She even started calling the squirrels running around in the park Mr. Whitmans. ~ Kerstin Gier
Funny Sister quotes by Kerstin Gier
A very ladylike bosom," she said, approvingly.
"There's nothing there," I complained.
The clerk grinned. "I have been fitting bras for twenty-five years and no
one ever thinks her breasts are good enough," she said. "You'll save yourself a
lot of unhappiness if you accept and enjoy what you have. Neat little breasts are
very chic. ~ Marta Acosta
Funny Sister quotes by Marta Acosta
Nonetheless, love is a funny thing. More specifically, second loves are a funny thing. For no matter how special that second or third or even fourth love is, no matter how much you can't live without him, the first one always creeps in. ~ Lindsay Detwiler
Funny Sister quotes by Lindsay Detwiler
Nicole's door opened, and she stomped down the hall. "I have something to say," she said, giving him the Slitty Eyes of Death. "You're totally unfair, and if I run away, you shouldn't be surprised." "Don't make me put a computer chip in your ear," Liam answered. "It's not funny! I hate you." "Well, I love you, even if you did ruin my life by turning into a teenager," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Did you study for your test?" "Yes." "Good." He looked at his daughter - so much like Emma, way too pretty. Why weren't there convent schools anymore? Or chastity belts? "Want some supper? I saved your plate." She rolled her eyes with all the melodrama a teenager could muster. "Fine. I may as well become a fat pig since I can't ever go on a date." "That's my girl," he said and, grinning, got up to heat up her dinner. ~ Kristan Higgins
Funny Sister quotes by Kristan Higgins
The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce. ~ Miguel De Cervantes
Funny Sister quotes by Miguel De Cervantes
Reply when questioned on the safety of the polio vaccine he developed:
It is safe, and you can't get safer than safe. ~ Jonas Salk
Funny Sister quotes by Jonas Salk
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