Funny Sexy Quotes

Collection of famous quotes and sayings about Funny Sexy.

Quotes About Funny Sexy

Enjoy collection of 73 Funny Sexy quotes. Download and share images of famous quotes about Funny Sexy. Righ click to see and save pictures of Funny Sexy quotes that you can use as your wallpaper for free.

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
Funny Sexy quotes by Zsa Zsa Gabor
If your partner is consistently unhappy, it won't matter if they're incredibly sexy, wildly funny, impressively successful, adorably charismatic - your relationship will be weighed down under the heaviness of their moods. ~ Karen Salmansohn
Funny Sexy quotes by Karen Salmansohn
I put the sexy in dyslexia. ~ Mariah Gonzales
Funny Sexy quotes by Mariah Gonzales
Started out, Funny, sexy, zaftig Margaret Cho ... What is zaftig? Isn't that German for big fat pig? I guess I was lucky- zaftig is kind of a nice word. It could have been, Funny, sexy, OBESE Margaret Cho. ~ Margaret Cho
Funny Sexy quotes by Margaret Cho
I don't use my body to seduce, no. I just stand there. ~ Ursula Andress
Funny Sexy quotes by Ursula Andress
This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they also like to eat snails. ~ Dave Barry
Funny Sexy quotes by Dave Barry
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter. ~ George Carlin
Funny Sexy quotes by George Carlin
He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. "I told you to behave. I don't want to have to arrest you ever again."
"Um ... okay."
I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, "Although I wouldn't mind handcuffing you."
Oh. My. God. ~ Robyn Peterman
Funny Sexy quotes by Robyn Peterman
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. ~ Sophia Loren
Funny Sexy quotes by Sophia Loren
I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry. ~ Henny Youngman
Funny Sexy quotes by Henny Youngman
Sex is always funny. I don't find it sexy, I find it really horrifying. But it's an act that we need. And that need, that desire, is what makes it really funny. ~ Elizabeth Banks
Funny Sexy quotes by Elizabeth Banks
Being sexy is kind of funny to me. You know, I can get kind of spunky or I can get tough, you know, that kind of tough, sexy look. But sexy? No, I don't think so. ~ Reba McEntire
Funny Sexy quotes by Reba McEntire
These days, the selfie and its main outlet, Instagram, generally come in for much adult loathing. But consider this: The selfie is a tiny pulse of girl pride - a shout-out to the self. ... The selfie suggests something in picture form - I think I look [beautiful] [happy] [funny] [sexy]. Do you? - that a girl could never get away with saying. It puts the gaze of the camera squarely in a girl's hands, and along with it, the power to influence the photo's interpretation. ~ Rachel Simmons
Funny Sexy quotes by Rachel Simmons
It's hard to believe someone who walks around commanding so much attention with his acute cockiness, hard muscles, and tattoos would ever let someone like me bring him to his knees-and make no mistake, I bring him to his knees. I bring him to his knees, hard. ~ Skyla Madi
Funny Sexy quotes by Skyla Madi
People would be in hysterics if they saw that. It's like, wow, he's a superhuman moron ... So he wears lipstick, has a little bouffant, and does little circus acts as well. Oh, he's so sexy. ~ Robert Pattinson
Funny Sexy quotes by Robert Pattinson
At once, it's clear I cannot gush. We try me playing cocky, but I just don't have the arrogance. Apparently, I'm too "vulnerable" for ferocity. I'm not witty. Funny. Sexy. Or mysterious By the end of the session, I am no one at all. ~ Suzanne Collins
Funny Sexy quotes by Suzanne Collins
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? ~ Dustin Hoffman
Funny Sexy quotes by Dustin Hoffman
The musical stuff I'd go up for was always funny, sexy, tough-as-nails, heart-of-gold characters. ~ Bebe Neuwirth
Funny Sexy quotes by Bebe Neuwirth
The thing I don't get about paedophilia ... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? ~ Frankie Boyle
Funny Sexy quotes by Frankie Boyle
Henry Miller is a famous writer whose work has fallen out of fashion, but I strongly recommend that readers who don't know his work pick up a book and experience this writer's zealous, crazy, inventive, funny, sexy, often delirious prose. ~ Siri Hustvedt
Funny Sexy quotes by Siri Hustvedt
I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left. ~ Naomi Watts
Funny Sexy quotes by Naomi Watts
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. ~ Woody Allen
Funny Sexy quotes by Woody Allen
Absence makes the clitoris grow fonder. ~ Cassie Mae
Funny Sexy quotes by Cassie Mae
I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't. ~ Olivia Munn
Funny Sexy quotes by Olivia Munn
Once they call you a Latin Lover, you're in real trouble. Women expect an Oscar performance in bed. ~ Marcello Mastroianni
Funny Sexy quotes by Marcello Mastroianni
To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! ~ Chad Michael Murray
Funny Sexy quotes by Chad Michael Murray
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. ~ Robert De Niro
Funny Sexy quotes by Robert De Niro
So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel? ~ Billy Connolly
Funny Sexy quotes by Billy Connolly
I failed.



I fucking failed.



For fifteen years, Timothy Lane handed out A's like mints. The year I take the class? Lane's ticker quits ticking, and I get stuck with Pamela Tolbert.



It's official. The woman is my archenemy. Just the sight of her flowery handwriting - which fills up every inch of available space in the margins of my midterm - makes me want to go Incredible Hulk on the booklet and rip it to shreds. ~ Elle Kennedy
Funny Sexy quotes by Elle Kennedy
He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces ~ Ron Atkinson
Funny Sexy quotes by Ron Atkinson
I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else. ~ Mitch Hedberg
Funny Sexy quotes by Mitch Hedberg
You're sexy and suave and you say the right things, but unless you can reach into my soul and tantalize my mind our connection will be null and void. ~ Melody Lee
Funny Sexy quotes by Melody  Lee
We started when I was in the fourth grade, which would have made me ten, I guess. It's different for everyone, but at that age, though I couldn't have said that I was gay, I knew that I was not like the other boys in my class or my Scout troop. While they welcomed male company, I shrank from it, dreaded it, feeling like someone forever trying to pass, someone who would eventually be found out, and expelled from polite society. Is this how a normal boy would swing his arms? I'd ask myself, standing before the full-length mirror in my parents' bedroom. Is this how he'd laugh? Is this what he would find funny? It was like doing an English accent. The more concentrated the attempt, the more self-conscious and unconvincing I became. ~ David Sedaris
Funny Sexy quotes by David Sedaris
Arnie pulls at my T-shirt. I shove his hand away. He pushes down the toilet handle and the bathroom fills with that flush sound. Tucker says, "You taking a dump?"
"No."
"Liar. I heard the flush. You were taking a dump."
"But I ... "
"I just wish you'd admit it. We got to be honest with each other."
"But ... "
"I heard the flush, Gilbert. You can't fool Tucker Van Dyke. ~ Peter Hedges
Funny Sexy quotes by Peter Hedges
I think, in comedy, timing is everything. You and I could tell the same joke, but if one of our timing is off, it won't be as funny. You've gotta know when to deliver your punch-lines. ~ T.I.
Funny Sexy quotes by T.I.
FYI, women think glasses are a sign of brains, and also, they're sexy. ~ Jill Shavis
Funny Sexy quotes by Jill Shavis
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
Funny Sexy quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. ~ Hedy Lamarr
Funny Sexy quotes by Hedy Lamarr
Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping. ~ Lisa Lampanelli
Funny Sexy quotes by Lisa Lampanelli
Did it ever occur to either of you that maybe MAC doesn't need protecting? That maybe MAC finds your he-man acts both insulting and chauvinistic? In case you haven't noticed, MAC is pretty good at taking care of herself. "
Kyle cleared his throat. He looked exhausted and wary.
"Why are you talking about yourself in the Thrid Person? ~ Kathleen Peacock
Funny Sexy quotes by Kathleen Peacock
The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars. ~ Benjamin Franklin
Funny Sexy quotes by Benjamin Franklin
I love to ride horses. I've ridden since I was a kid so I got to do some riding, which was a lot of fun. But most of the stunts were left to the girls. It's the girls rescuing the guys mostly. So it was kind of really kick-ass, girl power. It was wonderful to watch. It was particularly sexy. They would come in and just slay in these choreographed pentagram of death fight scenes. It was pretty impressive. ~ Douglas Booth
Funny Sexy quotes by Douglas Booth
Carmyn drops her glass from her lips first and bites into the slice of lime she's holding in her other hand. Her lips wrap around the flesh of the fruit, and my dick flexes in earnest. I've watched women suck on me and not look nearly that seductive. ~ Angeline Kace
Funny Sexy quotes by Angeline Kace
He had the look of a frustrated tiger whose personal physician had recommended a strict vegetarian diet. ~ P.G. Wodehouse
Funny Sexy quotes by P.G. Wodehouse
If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up. ~ Dr. Seuss
Funny Sexy quotes by Dr. Seuss
Be honest with yourself; set the alarm for the time the Real You will get up, not the Ambitious You, because the Ambitious You doesn't really exist. ~ Laurie Notaro
Funny Sexy quotes by Laurie Notaro
Is this the part where you suggest a highly inadvisable way of putting people in the mood to talk, in hopes that someone can shed light on who the"--Henry glanced at Vivvie--"hedgehog might be?"
"It's funny," I told Henry... "but the moment you said inadvisable, I had a thought."
...
"The hedgehog?" Emilia asked, wrinkling her brow. ~ Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Funny Sexy quotes by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it. ~ W.W. Jacobs
Funny Sexy quotes by W.W. Jacobs
I feel sexy when I get out of the tub - your skin is fresh and you've put up your hair without looking. ~ Shania Twain
Funny Sexy quotes by Shania Twain
The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles. ~ Bob Hope
Funny Sexy quotes by Bob Hope
Nothing wrong with eggs for dinner at ten o'clock at night when you're about to commit a crime. ~ M.K. England
Funny Sexy quotes by M.K. England
The Dimwit's Guide to the Female Mind might assist your efforts in understanding human females. But it must be pointed out that this subject can be a dangerous adventure and should be undertaken with extreme caution. After all, human males have been trying to understand their females for generations, and most of the time they come away from these encounters looking like someone stuck their tails into an electric socket. ~ Anne Bishop
Funny Sexy quotes by Anne Bishop
The silver in his eyes burned. "I want to kill him."

"Me too, but that's not really going to help things."

He flashed me a wild smile. "But it would make us feel better."

"Damn, you've gotten dark. Funny, but dark. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout
Funny Sexy quotes by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Surely we want to get to a point where women can be strong and powerful and not sexy. Or only sexy when they feel like it, not as a requirement to getting media coverage or being valued. ~ Anna Kessel
Funny Sexy quotes by Anna Kessel
I guess it was about loneliness. And it's funny, because I don't really think of myself as lonely. But there was something so familiar about the way Blue described the feeling. It was like he had pulled the ideas from my head.
Like the way you can memorize someone's gestures but never know their thoughts. And the feeling that people are like houses with vast rooms and tiny windows.
The way you can feel so exposed anyway.
The way he feels so hidden and so exposed about the fact that he's gay. ~ Becky Albertalli
Funny Sexy quotes by Becky Albertalli
On hearing this remark, my heart jumped clear up in my throat.. I thought surely it was going to hop right out on the depot platform. I looked up and tried to tell him who I was, but something went wrong. When the words finally came out they sounded like the squeaky old pulley on our well when Mama drew up a bucket of water. ~ Wilson Rawls
Funny Sexy quotes by Wilson Rawls
As a general rule, I don't plan to travel with my Oscars, but we may have to make an exception. ~ Paul Haggis
Funny Sexy quotes by Paul Haggis
You have all these people in the city and everything has become centralized. If you live outside the city and you need a birth certificate or some official paper from the government, you have to travel to the city. ~ Edwidge Danticat
Funny Sexy quotes by Edwidge Danticat
The more lives you have, the harder it is to change, yet the stronger you are. It's a kind of funny dichotomy. ~ Frederick Lenz
Funny Sexy quotes by Frederick Lenz
Funny how "question" contains the word "quest" inside it, as though any small question asked is a journey through briars. ~ Catherynne M Valente
Funny Sexy quotes by Catherynne M Valente
In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.' ~ Robin Williams
Funny Sexy quotes by Robin Williams
Not everyone wants to be sexy everyday, wearing tight dresses and spanx ... ~ Beth Ditto
Funny Sexy quotes by Beth Ditto
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo. ~ Henny Youngman
Funny Sexy quotes by Henny Youngman
Have you had your first baby yet? I might have one myself, once they find a way for the man to carry it around the first nine months. ~ Joe Haldeman
Funny Sexy quotes by Joe Haldeman
The older I get, the faster I was. ~ Charles Barkley
Funny Sexy quotes by Charles Barkley
My mum passing away wasn't funny, but that funeral and what I went through, the things that happened, looking back at it, there were funny moments. You have to be strong enough to look back at it, to sit and assess the situation. ~ Kevin Hart
Funny Sexy quotes by Kevin Hart
The haste of a fool is the slowest thing in the world. ~ Thomas Shadwell
Funny Sexy quotes by Thomas Shadwell
It's funny how one life-changing event could make you forget what happiness felt like. ~ Christie Cote
Funny Sexy quotes by Christie Cote
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. ~ Dave Barry
Funny Sexy quotes by Dave Barry
I think sometimes in comedy the characters are often sacrificed for the joke, and it's more important for it to be funny than for there to be love. ~ Jenny Slate
Funny Sexy quotes by Jenny Slate
Are imperfections is which make we grate. ~ Craig Benzine
Funny Sexy quotes by Craig Benzine
Brilliant. A very funny and concise explanation of why we men are as we are. If you are male, you should read it and then make your partner read it, so they will no longer hate you but pity you instead. ~ Harry Enfield
Funny Sexy quotes by Harry Enfield
Passive Income: It's not just about real estate ~ Chris Guillebeau
Funny Sexy quotes by Chris Guillebeau
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