Funny Sausage Roll Quotes

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories ... if you lick it. ~ Jack Whitehall

These days, rock 'n' roll is much more about rock than about roll. I don't do rock. But I'm interested in that roll part, because that's the funny little bit that makes it hip. ~ Nick Lowe

Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage. ~ Terry Pratchett

The x-ray of your skull shows a large, flobby mass floating inside. I have to consult my colleagues to be certain, but it looks like a long sausage snarled into a lump. ~ Benson Bruno

[If you hear a] story about how eating sausage leads to anal cancer, you will be skeptical, because it has never happened to anyone you know, and sausage, after all, is delicious. ~ David McRaney

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. ~ Ambrose Bierce

He let out a breath that seemed resigned. "Cora better have sausage gravy this mornin'," he said.

"Sausage gravy will make it all okay?"

"Well, sausage gravy never made anything worse. ~ Erin Nicholas

I am always jumping into the sausage grinder and deciding, even before I'm half ground, that I don't want to be a sausage after all. ~ Jessamyn West

Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage? ~ Paul Claudel

He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease. ~ Henry James

Bologna is celebrated for producing popes, painters, and sausage. ~ Lord Byron

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made. ~ Mark Twain

Spanish chorizo is a spicy cured sausage that's especially tasty with clams. ~ Tom Douglas

No sausage? he asked.
Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record. ~ Maureen Johnson

There are two things you don't want to see being made - sausage and legislation. ~ Otto Von Bismarck

I know I look like a piece of sausage to those lions. A sausage with braids. ~ Cody Lundin

You're not the butcher, selling sausages. You're the cow, pre-sausage. ~ Oliver Markus Malloy

Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

Sausage making and policy-making shouldn't be seen close-up. ~ Donald Rumsfeld

The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative. ~ Boris Johnson

Life was a series of complicated tactical exercises, as complicated as the alignments at Waterloo, thought out on a brass bedstead among the crumbs of sausage roll. [p107] ~ Graham Greene

I draw from life - but I always pulp my acquaintance before serving them up. You would never recognize a pig in a sausage. ~ Frances Trollope

It's theology. Were you expecting sex, drugs, and rock and roll?"
"One out of the three would be nice. ~ Katie Henry

The French got enough from the Germans to save them from starvation; but many a woman sold herself for a loaf or a chunk of sausage. ~ Ernst Toller

Please follow these instructions:
1. Stack the pages of this letter neatly.
2. Roll the pages up into a cylinder.
3. Smack yourself over the head with it.
4. Repeat. You complete ass. ~ Leah Thomas

I know how to make sausage, and now that I've seen how laws are made, I'll stick with sausage. ~ Tom Colicchio

[Final diary entry:] Occupation is essential. And now with some pleasure I find that it's seven; and must cook dinner. Haddock and sausage meat. I think it is true that one gains a certain hold on sausage and haddock by writing them down. ~ Virginia Woolf

Like the shock of fondling a raw sausage, blindfold, at a gay party ... ~ Vivian Stanshall

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made. ~ Mark Twain

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'. ~ Sebastian Horsley

Most Russians don't care whether they are ruled by fascists or communists or even Martians as long as they can buy six kinds of sausage in the store and lots of cheap vodka. ~ Alexander Lebed

I didn't plan on rock-n-roll. I wanted to learn jazz; I got to know some people doing rock-n-roll with jazz, and I thought I could make some money playing music. ~ Robby Krieger

The Latin word for sausage was botulus, from which English gets two words. One of them is the lovely botuliform, which means sausage-shaped and is a more useful word than you might think. The other word is botulism.
Sausages may taste lovely, but it's usually best not to ask what's actually in them. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it was a sausage-maker who disposed of the body. ~ Mark Forsyth

Otto von Bismarck quipped, Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made. ~ Cory Doctorow

Rock and roll is here to stay. ~ Neil Young

Then it's topped with cheese, which is made from cow's milk. But the best part is pepperoni sausage."

"And how is sausage made?" Aelyx asked.

Dad laughed dryly from across the table. "Ignorance is bliss in this case. ~ Melissa Landers

Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all. ~ Joan Jett

It's funny, I'd rather be known as a writer who crafted a really nice piece about women's friendships over time. But that doesn't roll off the tongue like 'YouTube sensation.' ~ Kelly Corrigan

When I started out, everyone seemed to be adopting these names ... Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious. I wasn't really Rotten or Vicious or Nasty, so I wanted something a bit more funny - yet something that seemed real rock 'n' roll ... something that acknowledged my ambition. ~ Billy Idol

Harris said: If you never try a new thing, how can you tell what it's like? It's men such as you that hamper the world's progress. Think of the man who first tried German sausage! ~ Jerome K. Jerome

I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it. Is all I wanna do, for you baby. Girl, it's something kind of sexy. Goin' on about you babe. ~ R. Kelly

I'm into rock'n'roll because rock'n'roll, to me, means freedom. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

I do adore food. If I have any vice it's eating. If I was told I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, I could put up with sausage and mash forever. ~ Colin Baker

Of course I know how to roll a joint. ~ Martha Stewart

Pauline: "All under-fives are mad Adrian, you used to talk to the moon. You invited it to your birthday party and cried when it didn't turn up."
George: "When it went dark and the moon came up, you ran outside and threw a sausage roll at it! ~ Sue Townsend

I don't normally cook, but if I did it probably would be beans, sausage, bacon and eggs. I never really get to eat that to be honest. ~ Wayne Rooney

I was 12 in '55 when rock and roll hit. It just completely transformed me. ~ Robert Quine

They don't go in for the fancy or exotic, but stick to conventional food like flightless bird embryos, minced organs in intestine skins, slices of hog flesh and burnt ground grass seeds dipped in animal fats; or, as it is known in their patois, egg, sausage, bacon and a fried slice of toast. ~ Terry Pratchett

Rock and roll is music," said Vanya.
"Prokofiev is music, Stravinski is music, Tchaikovski and Borodin and Rimski-Korsakov and even Rachmaninov, THEY are music. Rock and roll is smart boys with no respect, YOU are rock and roll. ~ Orson Scott Card

Stretch of I-95 has already had one brush with disaster. In 2008 two contractors from the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation stopped to get a sausage sandwich, and parked their cars under this bridge. And fortunately they wanted that sausage sandwich because they saw one of these piers with an eight foot gash in it about five inches wide. And oh, they knew automatically that this bridge was in deep trouble. ~ Steve Kroft

Behind all sorrows in the world Klepp saw a ravenous hunger; all human suffering, he believed, could be cured with a portion of blood sausage. What quantities of fresh blood sausage with rings of onion, washed down with beer, Oskar consumed in order to make his friend think his sorrow's name was hunger and not Sister Dorothy. ~ Gunter Grass

I love horror movies and I love being scared, but I don't like them, if they're not based on a true story. It's like knowing how the sausage is made. ~ Olivia Munn

It's looks like someone slapped you in the face with a fruit roll-up or something! ~ Daniel Bryan

It will be funny in about 10 years. ~ Lemmy Kilmister

I don't think rock 'n' roll is necessarily a young man's game. ~ Adam Clayton

Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with. ~ Dave Barry

I always wrote like rock 'n' roll. And I always listen to rock 'n' roll as poetry. ~ Patti Smith

There's rock n' roll in hip-hop, there's rock n' roll in pop music, there's rock n' roll in soul, there's rock n' roll in country. When you see people dress, and their style has an edge to it, that rebellious edge that bubbles up in every genre, that's rock n' roll. Everybody still wants to be a rock star, you know? ~ John Varvatos

I don't really inject the rock 'n' roll thing, what I take from rock 'n' roll is probably the melodies and the musical behind it. ~ Cedric Gervais

This one sounds rather gay. A Fresno, California house burglar rubbed spices over the body of a sleeping man before using an 8 inch long sausage to slap the face of another snoozing resident. Antonio Vasquez fled but was caught in a nearby field after police found his wallet and ID in the victims' home. The sausage was eaten by a dog after Vasquez tossed it away. ~ Leonard Birdsong

On how to make an egg roll: "Roll it nice and tight like a blunt." ~ Coolio

Waves of consciousness roll in, roll out, leave some writing, and just as quickly new waves roll in and erase it. I try to quickly read what's written there, but it's hard. ~ Haruki Murakami

I have been robbed of three million dollars all told. Everyone today is playing my stuff and I don't even get credit. Kansas City style, Chicago style, New Orleans style hell, they're all Jelly Roll style. ~ Jelly Roll Morton

I'm the greatest rock and roll drummer on the planet and you suck. ~ Tre Cool

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick. ~ F. Sionil Jose

To use the old jailhouse term and not the modern rock and roll one, a punk's question. ~ Adrian Barnes

Yeah, well, it's not like the old days." I bit into my lobster roll. Maybe the best lobster roll in Boston, which made it, arguably, the best lobster roll in the world. "It's ~ Dennis Lehane

I suggest some of this broth that Cook made for Mademoiselle,' came Patrice's muffled voice. 'A little Toulouse sausage, some cheese perhaps...'
Gui wolfed down whatever was put in front of him, hunger a gnawing pit in his stomach. Fresh bread and butter, a savory broth made from chicken, then sausage and a slab of cheese, cake made with pears, milk to drink. ~ Laura Madeleine

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity. ~ John Lennon

I'm not dissatisfied with my place in it rock 'n' roll. ~ Paul Westerberg

If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'. ~ John Lennon

Rock & roll was the only thing I wanted to get into. ~ Roger Daltrey

Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks? ~ Julie Kagawa

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. ~ Bob Newhart

No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to. ~ Frank Zappa

I've never sailed the Amazon,
I've never reached Brazil;
But the Don and Magdalena,
They can go there when they will!
Yes, weekly from Southampton,
Great steamers, white and gold,
Go rolling down to Rio
(Roll down - roll down to Rio!)
And I'd like to roll to Rio
Some day before I'm old!
I've never seen a Jaguar,
Nor yet an Armadill
O dilloing in his armour,
And I s'pose I never will,
Unless I go to Rio
These wonders to behold
Roll down - roll down to Rio
Roll really down to Rio!
Oh, I'd love to roll to Rio
Some day before I'm old! ~ Rudyard Kipling

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll is all my brain and body need. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll is very good indeed. ~ Ian Dury

As I define it, rock and roll is dead. The attitude isn't dead, but the music is no longer vital. It doesn't have the same meaning. The attitude, though, is still very much alive - and it still informs other kinds of music. ~ David Byrne

Just rolled out of bed."
"I can see that." His eyes swept over me. "You should roll around in your bed more often. ~ Veronica Blade

My contributions were many: First clown director, with witty sayings and flashily dressed, now called master of ceremonies. ~ Jelly Roll Morton

Jokes about German sausage are the Wurst ~ Anonymous

There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger's origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. ~ Kenneth Grahame

Most people are living lives of sort of survival. And constantly posing an existential crisis, either through fantasy or oblivion, really has been pretty much explored in rock and roll. At least in the western version of rock n' roll. ~ Billy Corgan

Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world. ~ Peter York

I had never done TV. I think it's a foolish medium for, most rock 'n roll music. Nobody ever comes off well on TV. ~ Dan Fogelberg

When you sit down and think about what rock 'n' roll music really is, then you have to change that question. Played up-tempo, you call it rock 'n' roll; at a regular tempo, you call it rhythm and blues. ~ Little Richard

My personal definition of rock'n'roll is people attempting to do something that's beyond their ability to do it well. And whatever the outward contradictions, I do call us a rock'n'roll band. ~ David First

Lord please save his soul, he was the king of rock and roll. ~ Robbie Robertson

Let's face it. Rock and Roll is bigger than all of us ~ Alan Freed

It's gotta be rock and roll music, if you wanna dance with me. ~ Chuck Berry

That's how we roll," Kami said. "We live a mock-and-roll lifestyle. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation. ~ Yara Shahidi

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ~ Steven Wright

It's a rock 'n' roll thing to have one-night stands. ~ Rick Springfield

I think rock & roll has prepared me for a lot of flexibility. ~ Billy Corgan

Why are things always happy in Japanese restaurants? Just once, maybe I'd like to try the Sashimi of Discontent, or the Heartbroken Hand Roll ~ Amy Vansant

I've been playing rock and roll since I was 16 years old, and now I have a 16-year-old. ~ Billie Joe Armstrong

I changed my diet completely. You know, I'm from Cleveland, so I've always loved sausage and red meat and all of that stuff, so now I find myself not eating any of that, no red meat, no sausage. It's basically a vegetarian diet with a little bit of fish. I drink quarts of carrot juice, quarts of cranberry juice, endless amounts of water and nothing else. ~ Joe Eszterhas

Punk [rock] seemed like rock 'n' roll music utterly without the music. ~ Steve Winwood

Rock and roll is a nuclear blast of reality in a mundane world where no-one is allowed to be magnificent. ~ Kim Fowley