Quotes About Funny Redneck
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You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. ~ Patrick Swayze
He's one fry short of a Happy Meal. ~ Rush Limbaugh
You could start an argument in an empty house. ~ Jill Shalvis
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park. ~ Larry The Cable Guy
There's so much that we just accept, but the reasons behind how certain rules came to be are so fascinating and funny, it just increases your affection for language. ~ Ursula Dubosarsky
Gemma had blond hair and blue eyes. I did not.
Gemma was always an A student. I was more of a B-all-you-can-be kind of gal.
When Gemma was into science, I was into skipping.
When Gemma was into foreign languages, I was into the hot Italian guy down the street. ~ Darynda Jones
Class?" I asked in surprise. "Today?"
"This isn't a spa vacation, Tiger Lily. Just be glad it's History of Wormwood and not conditioning."
"Conditioning?"
"Hope you've got a bottle of Icy Hot in there. ~ Christine Manzari
Cannes is a circus, so you have to have fun with it. Everything suddenly becomes funny. And the promotion of a movie - that's where you really need to be a good actor. You need to make journalists believe that what you're saying is just for them and you've never said it before, even when you're talking about the same film over and over again. ~ Mathieu Amalric
I'm sick and tired of everyone making fun of the size of Trump's hands. We should all be bigger than that.
So should Donald Trump's hands ~ Ed Krassenstein
Mmmm ... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.' ~ Jack Dee
The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny. ~ Joan Jett
Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered. ~ Victor J. Stenger
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' on what? On fire? ~ Rita Rudner
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. ~ Mario Puzo
You'll find boredom where there is the absence of a good idea. ~ Earl Nightingale
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect. ~ Alanis Morissette
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. ~ Cullen Hightower
I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it
if I was hungry, I would talk about food. ~ Adam Ferrara
At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings. ~ Woody Allen
Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. ~ George W. Bush
Lipstick?" He arched a brow.
"I'm on the hunt for my perfect shade," I respond, deadpan.
"Ditch the magenta. Your olive skin screams for rose." His deadpan is better than mine. ~ Gena Showalter
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wakeup letter. ~ Steven Wright
Has anybody ever told you you're a remarkably cynical person?"
"I like to think of it as learning from experience. ~ Benedict Jacka
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one. ~ LIZ
That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking, what's your vice and what brand of trouble does it lead to? ~ Neal Stephenson
Naked dudes are inherently funny. ~ Adam DeVine
I'm homeless, in a funny way. My culture I think is completely rooted in German 19th century music I suppose. ~ Hans Zimmer
It's funny how people can change your life without meaning to. Even the fucked-up, crazy people leave everything different when they go away. ~ Seanan McGuire
A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants." ~ Tommy Cooper
I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.'
'You smell terrible.'
'That's the smell of evil.'
'It's like rancid meat and bad eggs.'
'Evil, Scapegrace insisted. ~ Derek Landy
I don't know why, but I always feel a kind of necessity to write things that are beyond acceptance, that are too offensive or something. For people to read them and say, Ha-ha-ha, very funny. No, we can't print that. ~ Terry Southern
The Rusty Ruins were the remains of an old city, a hulking reminder of back when there'd been way too many people, and everyone was incredibly stupid. And ugly. ~ Scott Westerfeld
Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney. ~ Jack Paar
Excessive animal protein is at the core of many chronic diseases. ~ T. Colin Campbell