Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 Quotes

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Quotes About Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2

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Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine. ~ David Letterman
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by David Letterman
An evangelical minister has had to resign after pictures surfaced showing him in a hot tub with two women. He claimed it was just a baptism gone terribly wrong. ~ Jay Leno
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jay Leno
We are going to do 'Hot Tub' until we die. Every Monday. Then we'll come back and do it as zombies. 'Hot Tub' is very important. What we do is based on our live skills. It's stand-up and sketch and improv; everything we do in 'Hot Tub' is important to our jobs. And every Monday I'm excited to do it. ~ Kurt Braunohler
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Kurt Braunohler
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. ~ Minnie Pearl
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Minnie Pearl
Golf in Indonesia has something else to offer: ways to make you forget the last four hours and take away the aches. Nearly every course has a spa - hot tub, cold tub, sauna and massage. ~ Raymond Bonner
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Raymond Bonner
The moral person contemplates evil, the evil person commits it. And a person without a sense of humor can't distinguish between the two ... I know a lot of people who live in Marin County and contemplate spirituality and never get out of the hot tub. ~ Larry Harvey
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Larry Harvey
If you're in a company, you're dancing from 9 a.m. till 7 in the evening, and then you go home and get in a hot tub and get some Epsom salts and try to get your body goin' again. There's no social life, no anything. ~ Neve Campbell
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Neve Campbell
As the summer moves on, there are Saturday nights when I come home and find friends I haven't even been out with sitting up in the hot tub. ~ Brian O'Driscoll
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Brian O'Driscoll
I want you to take a red-hot bath as hot as you can bear it, and just relax your nerves. You can read in the tub if you wish. ~ F Scott Fitzgerald
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by F Scott Fitzgerald
machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time ~ Alan Moore
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Alan Moore
Liberals don't have to emerge from the hot tub and start attending NASCAR races or - God forbid - church, but it would be nice if they'd stop lying all the time. ~ Ann Coulter
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Ann Coulter
There is this image of a guy in a hot tub, drinking champagne with two buxom blondes. But that is not the real me. I am a father, and I am a grandfather, too. ~ Robin Leach
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Robin Leach
It's funny when someone says to you 'you're hot' and all that, because I don't think of it in that way. ~ Kate Winslet
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Kate Winslet
Will you sleep with me?" he asked softly, before grinning suddenly. "In the tub? ~ Shelly Crane
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Shelly Crane
Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot tub back there, I may as well have Richard Simmons come over and live with me. ~ Blake Shelton
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Blake Shelton
You know, for an actor to come into the midst of that, it's - It can either be difficult and somewhat unnerving, or it can be very embracing and like, kind of stepping into a nice hot tub. ~ Keith Carradine
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Keith Carradine
hot-tub guy?" I had to wipe my eyes ~ Maureen K. Howard
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Maureen K. Howard
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie. ~ Demetri Martin
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Demetri Martin
Our bodies are the time machine. ~ Rudy Rucker
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Rudy Rucker
Oh, hell, he'd look hot in a chicken suit. ~ Cyn Balog
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Cyn Balog
Smell is the closest thing human beings have to a time machine. ~ Caryl Rivers
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Caryl Rivers
The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it. ~ Josh Billings
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Josh Billings
The bile makes it better. I am an information wasting machine - 100s of words a day. ~ Marc Maron
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Marc Maron
Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk! ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jerry Coleman
Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot. ~ Stephanie Perkins
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Stephanie Perkins
What they do in America in all those sitcoms is hire glamorous girls and they're never that funny ... that's because they've never had to develop a personality because they're hot. ~ Rebel Wilson
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Rebel Wilson
Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it. ~ Laurence J. Peter
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Laurence J. Peter
For a long time, I felt instinctively irritated - sometimes repelled - by scientific friends' automatic use of the word 'mechanism' for automatic bodily processes. A machine was man-made; it was not a sentient being; a man was not a machine. ~ A.S. Byatt
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by A.S. Byatt
Dualities and polarities are the clouds of your mind. Come out of the negative thought patterns. Come out of the survival machine. Time to time you need stop the thinking machine, and get in touch with the eternity - the state of the 'no-mind'  - the state of the pure being ~ Amit Ray
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Amit Ray
Her twitching muscles felt near enough like wracking sobs. Struggling on that table felt near enough like times she'd clutched her knees and sobbed quietly in the tub. Life and love. When the bad parts crept in, sometimes she wished it would end. Wished there was some quick way out for cowards. She loved her husband, wasn't sure how not to, but sometimes she sat in the tub with the water running dangerously hot and wanted out. Like now, just wanting to die. ~ Hugh Howey
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Hugh Howey
When I was finishing grad school, the hot new PC was the IBM 286. Bulky. Immobile. Expensive. I touched-typed easily and quickly, but nevertheless, I realized that the machine was a chain. ~ Jane Lindskold
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jane Lindskold
You don't need a time machine if you know how to remember. ~ Rodman Philbrick
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Rodman Philbrick
Disney happy is the most happy you can be. It's at the top of the happy scale right above eating cheesecake in a hot tub. ~ Tom Fletcher
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Tom Fletcher
The guy I've got my eye on happens to be hot. Off-the-charts hot. Hotter-than-Patch hot." She paused. "Well maybe not that hot. Nobody's that hot. ~ Becca Fitzpatrick
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Becca Fitzpatrick
Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time. ~ Denis Leary
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Denis Leary
That was about as good as it was going to get this side of a hot tub, a good-looking man, and a chocolate milkshake. ~ David Weber
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by David Weber
It's hot as hell as can be. ~ Eugene Ormandy
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Eugene Ormandy
Holy mama llama. That's Nathanial Stone. Nathanial Stone is sitting in my booth. Nathanial Stone is in the Finewhile Diner sitting in my booth. I'm supposed to wait on Nathanial Stone. I'm going to make a fool out of myself. I just know it. I can feel it coming. Crap. ~ D.L. Hess
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by D.L. Hess
I'm into carpooling, because sometimes my car gets hot and needs to refresh itself. ~ Mitch Hedberg
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Mitch Hedberg
I'm way hot," he muttered. "But I don't feel sick. Just - way hot."
Fang ~ James Patterson
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by James Patterson
It was as if the room beyond the blast furnace was a tub and someone had turned the faucets on the cold and hot running snakes. ~ Joe Hill
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Joe Hill
You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie. ~ Jim Gaffigan
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jim Gaffigan
The '70s were a hot time. You know? I was, like, the most calm of all my friends. ~ Gloria Estefan
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Gloria Estefan
Everyone has a time machine. Everyone *is* a time machine. It's just that most people's time machines are broken. The strangest and hardest kind of time travel is the unaided kind. People get stuck, people get looped. People get trapped. But we are all time machines. ~ Charles Yu
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Charles Yu
When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time. ~ Cloris Leachman
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Cloris Leachman
I know the activists I deal with, we sort of try and check each other to make sure that we haven't gone native, that you come to Washington thinking it's a cesspool, you don't want to end up thinking it's really a hot tub and getting used to it. So that's something one has to keep an eye on all the time. ~ Grover Norquist
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Grover Norquist
It can't possibly work. Because the reason the person built the time machine was so that he could go back and destroy Hitler. Now, with Hitler dead, his future self wouldn't have a reason to create a time machine. So his future self would never build that time machine, and he would never go back in time. It's called a paradox. ~ C. David Milles
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by C. David Milles
Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles. ~ George Mikes
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by George Mikes
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. ~ Natalie Wood
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Natalie Wood
You're looking good today Bret. Very hot ... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome. ~ Kristen Schaal
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Kristen Schaal
I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. ~ G.K. Chesterton
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by G.K. Chesterton
I think the best way to keep a relationship hot is to simply try to make time for each other. That's it. ~ Ashley Madekwe
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Ashley Madekwe
Neither Man, nor machine can replace its creator. ~ Tapan Ghosh
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Tapan Ghosh
The flower inside the fruit that is both its parent and its child. Decadent as ancestors. The portal and that which passes. Nuclear devices activated, and the machine keeps pushing time through the cogs, like paste into strings into paste again, and only the machine keeps using time to make time to make time. And when the machine stops, time was an illusion that we created free will. ~ Ronald D. Moore
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Ronald D. Moore
It's funny - more people talk about my 'babe-dom' now than they did before I had a child. Whatever. I guess I'm a role model in hot pants now. That's cool! ~ Lauryn Hill
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Lauryn Hill
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. ~ Ambrose Bierce
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Ambrose Bierce
No one is calling me. I can't check the answering machine because I have been here all this time. If I go out, someone may call while I'm out. Then I can check the answering machine when I come back in. ~ Lydia Davis
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Lydia Davis
Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me."
My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. "Um ... " Focus,focus. "What? ~ Jenny B. Jones
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jenny B. Jones
It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny. ~ David Cross
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by David Cross
I wasn't a 'hot chick' in high school. I was 'funny' and a tomboy and probably a little uncomfortable with my amazing boobs. ~ Iliza Shlesinger
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Iliza Shlesinger
There is definitely a pressure for funny people to be funny. People want them to perform all the time. ~ Marsha Thomason
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Marsha Thomason
Never bring a gun to a fight where the other guy has a time-machine and tomorrow's newspapers. ~ James Nicoll
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by James Nicoll
I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit . ~ Steven Wright
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Steven Wright
Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that. ~ Tracy Morgan
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Tracy Morgan
Just throw me in a time machine, hit random, and wherever I land would be great. Just being thrown into a different time really fascinates me. ~ Beau Mirchoff
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Beau Mirchoff
It was July. Crazy hot and dry. It hadn't rained in, like, sixty days. Drought hot. Scorpion hot. Vultures flying circles in the sky hot. ~ Sherman Alexie
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Sherman Alexie
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause ? you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. ~ John Wayne
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by John Wayne
The Big Red Machine was exactly that - a freaking machine. ~ Tucker Elliot
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Tucker Elliot
I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe. ~ Jerry Lewis
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jerry Lewis
My parents were funny. My brothers were funny. We just laughed and had a good time. Growing up, it breeds that. It breeds your funny. It breeds your creativity. ~ Kym Whitley
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Kym Whitley
Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot. ~ Justin Bieber
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Justin Bieber
Kewell should have been yanked off the pitch at half time and put in a hot bath, a boiling hot bath. ~ Eamon
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Eamon
A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot. ~ Tommy Cooper
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Tommy Cooper
...I had deliberately let the relationship with Schulz wane until there was little left. We had been like the hot chocolate they sell at ski resorts. For your buck fifty, a machine first spews dark, thick syrup into a cup. This liquid gradually turns to a mixture of chocolate and hot water. Soon there is just a stream of hot water, and in a moment, drops. You wish the chocolate part would go on gushing forever, but it doesn't. ~ Diane Mott Davidson
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Diane Mott Davidson
The chrysanthemums' astringent fragrance comes
Each year to disguise the clanking mechanism
Of machine within machine within machine. ~ Wallace Stevens
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Wallace Stevens
I like the idea of the object, the relic. And I see it as a time machine too or a device you plug into a socket that activates a sound and light show. ~ Anne Waldman
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Anne Waldman
It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny. ~ Seth Green
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Seth Green
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. ~ W.C. Fields
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by W.C. Fields
You asked the impossible of a machine and the machine complied. ~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
I like the hot-cold, the sugar-salt, being able to play over-the-top and dramatic things - in the same film. Just as in my life, I can be very funny and at other times almost extinguished. ~ Jean Dujardin
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jean Dujardin
I get out of all of these things that many of these candidates would rather take legislation to build a time machine and go back in time to where we had, you know, no women voting, slavery was cool. I mean, it's just kind of ridiculous. ~ Thomas Roberts
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Thomas Roberts
Every time I'm recognized in public, I'm super grateful and appreciative, but I also get hot and nervous. ~ Issa Rae
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Issa Rae
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Dark Jar Tin Zoo
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute. ~ William Feather
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by William Feather
My mind has a time machine; it can travel back to the past when I close my eyes and in my dreams it travels to the future. ~ Munia Khan
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Munia Khan
We think that the time machine was not invented, but the candle is actually a time machine! Light a candle and get out of the moment you are in, travel to other times! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Mehmet Murat Ildan
American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957. ~ Tom Holt
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Tom Holt
I've known one thing for a long time: there's a role in the big machine even for someone who makes fun of it. ~ Christa Wolf
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Christa Wolf
Who doesn't love a funny girl who can look sexy at the same time? ~ Malin Akerman
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Malin Akerman
I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something. ~ Jon Stewart
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Jon Stewart
The woman in the tub had been dead for a long time. She was bloated and purple, her gas-filled belly rising out of the cold, ice-rimmed water like some fleshy island. Her eyes were fixed on Danny's, glassy and huge, like marbles. She was grinning, her purple lips pulled back in a grimace. Her breasts lolled. Her pubic hair floated. Her hands were frozen on the knurled porcelain sides of the tub like crab claws. ~ Stephen King
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Stephen King
Several sellers of hot meat pies and sausages in a bun had appeared from nowhere and were doing a brisk trade. [Footnote: They always do, everywhere. No-one sees them arrive. The logical explaination is that the franchise includes the stall, the paper hat and a small gas-powered time machine.] ~ Terry Pratchett
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Terry Pratchett
You know it gets me hot when you're mad. What are you wearing right now under your stethoscope?'
'You're not funny.'
'Oh, come on. I'm a little funny. ~ Meg Cabot
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Meg Cabot
I don't really find things funny unless they're deeply tragic at the same time. I think if you're funny just for the sake of being funny, it's just frivolous nonsense. To me, all the best comic plays have been written about really serious and rather bleak things. ~ Lee Hall
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Lee Hall
In a very short period of time, actors can become kind of relevant and hot. ~ David Cassidy
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by David Cassidy
When you get to Hell look for me; I'll be sitting in the hot-tub waiting."
Cate Harlow
FOR I HAVE SINNED
by Kristen Houghton
A Cate Harlow Private Investigation
due out in August, 2014 ~ Kristen Houghton
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Kristen Houghton
Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural. ~ Shaquille O'Neal
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Shaquille O'Neal
If you ever find yourself coming out of a time machine, run. Run away as fast you can. Don't stop. Don't try to talk. Nothing good can come out of it. narrator Charles Yu, not author Charles Yu p19 ~ Charles Yu
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Charles Yu
I'm just saying that if you understand how the economic machine works, it just works like a machine. There are cause-effect relationships. ~ Ray Dalio
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Ray Dalio
This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink ... mug of water. ~ Russell Brand
Funny Hot Tub Time Machine 2 quotes by Russell Brand
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