Funny Fishing Quotes

What a tourist terms a plague of insects, the fly fisher calls a great hatch. ~ Patrick F. McManus

Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. ~ Mark Twain

Fishing: a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes. ~ Don Marquis

The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad. ~ A. Best

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. ~ Ernest Hemingway,

I love fishing. You put that line in the water and you don't know what's on the other end. Your imagination is under there. ~ Robert Altman

There are only two occasions when Americans respect privacy, especially in Presidents. Those are prayer and fishing. ~ Herbert Hoover

The best time to go fishing is when you can ~ Ed Zern

There is no such thing as too much snow. ~ Doug Coombs

Fly-fishing is the most fun you can have standing up. ~ Arnold Gingrich

There is no greater fan of fly fishing than the worm. ~ Patrick F. McManus

I just know from experience that reading a funny poem aloud, especially at the beginning of a public reading, can have a certain effect. Somehow narrowing the spectrum of possible emotional reactions. So while I like it when people laugh at my poems, and I definitely enjoy being funny in them, I don't really think that's the most important thing that's going on, at least not to me. ~ Matthew Zapruder

I'm a Best-Selling author and humorist; my brother points out that a humorist is a writer who's not funny enough to call themselves a comedian. Gotta love family. ~ Dan Alatorre

There's this funny thing about empathy. It's not actually in limited supply. Just because other people have it worse doesn't mean you don't deserve to be understood. To feel comfort. ~ Cora Carmack

Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny. ~ Julie Walters

Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. ~ Rebecca Brooks

In case you don't recognize me, I happen to be good friends with Princess Selene. I'm willing to guess you've heard of-"
"Apprehend her."
"I guess you have. ~ Marissa Meyer

I've never felt so bereft and panicky. What do I do without my phone? How do I function? My hand keeps automatically reaching for my phone in its usual place in my pocket. Every instinct in me wants to text someone, 'OMG, I've lost my phone! ' but how can do that without a bloody phone? ~ Sophie Kinsella

This dress won't fit without a twenty-two-inch waist, although just once I'd like to see you down to twenty. ~ Marissa Meyer

That heightened dynamic can produce interesting, funny ideas that are phrased in ways that surprise even you, as the performer. ~ Ted Alexandro

There's so much that we just accept, but the reasons behind how certain rules came to be are so fascinating and funny, it just increases your affection for language. ~ Ursula Dubosarsky

My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more. ~ Tom Arnold

The Hammer was a hard man, a smart man too, and he took pride in always having a plan 'b'. For those troubling occasions when plan 'b' didn't work, he would strive to also have a plan 'c' in place. In short, he was the kind of man who always had something up his sleeve besides his funny bone. The pilot, his trusted second man gave him a worried look.
"What do we do now? ~ Christina Engela

Nobody cared about swimming. You could draw a crowd for basketball. ~ Merlin Olsen

I hope his breath wasn't too bad for 'Bron.' ~ Paul George

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked. ~ Andy Borowitz

I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?' ~ Mike Birbiglia

Did you know, the Alpha bond is a lot like the mate bond. The first twenty-four hours are apparently intense. I took oath from ten wolves today, and I can feel every fucking one of them in my head. And I use the adjective on purpose. You know what the most common response to facing death is?"
Simon let out a little snort.
Aaron's grin was wry. "Yeah, that. And when you consider that one of my wolves is Lucas, I haven't been this horny in about thirty years. ~ Kaje Harper

She'd read ton of books with female heroines who swooned at the sight of their true love and had thought them to be incredibly wimpy. Now here she stood, barely able to keep herself upright. Not that she was in love...far from it. But a girl could appreciate a bona fide hottie when she saw one, right? ~ Abigail Owen

LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt ~ Darynda Jones

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas. ~ Bob Hope

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. ~ Casey Stengel

How could I not fall in love with him," she asked. And on the tail end of her words, her bedroom door flew open and closed just as fast.

Jen bent over, panting heavily as she looked up at Sally.

"Hey Sally girl. Who we falling in love with?" Jen asked breathlessly.

"Jen, what's wrong?" Sally paused and then decided on a better question. "What have you done now?"

Jen stood up and took two deep breaths. Seeming to have regained her wind, she spoke quickly.

"First off, I've changed my mind. I don't want you to name your first born after me."

Sally interrupted. "Thank goodness for that," she muttered.

"I want you to name your entire freaking litter after me," Jen growled. "Do you know what I've been through?" Jen's arms were flinging around as she glared at Sally. "I did that little strip tease to try and keep things from escalating with the rest of the pack and Decebel was beyond pissed. I had to sneak out of the gathering room and make a run for it. I've been running through the freaking forest trying to throw him off by changing back and forth so that I could place my clothes that I carried in my freaking muzzle. CARRIED IN MY MUZZLE SALLY! I put them in different places to throw off him off my scent." Jen went over to Sally's window and was trying to judge the danger of using it as an exit. ~ Quinn Loftis

Your body is nothing but an envelope, Karou. Your soul is another matter, and is not, as far as I know, in any immediate danger."
"An envelope?" She didn't like to think of her body as an envelope
something others might be able to open up and rifle through, remove things from like so many clipped coupons.
"I assumed you felt the same way," he'd said. "The way you scribble on it."
Brimstone didn't approve of her tattoos, which was funny, since he was responsible for her first, the eyes on her palms. ~ Laini Taylor

He found himself grinning at her. His nervousness had disappeared, and suddenly he had a sense of his own size, his physical strength, his own brains and being. Four years, he had earned his own bread and keep, fended for himself, had not only remained alive and well but had put together a small fishing fleet of his own, and kept it alive and functioning and fought the wind and the weather and met a payroll of eleven men in his crews-and be damned with the lot of them if he'd go into a funk over which spoon or knife to use. ~ Howard Fast

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't. ~ Eoin Colfer

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. ~ H.L. Mencken

Cam's grin was wicked as his hand coasted up my waist to cup my breast. He squeezed it, setting off a weird mixture of painful tenderness and a bolt of lust to my sex.
"My eyes!" Cole yelled.
Cam and I jerked apart, and I twisted my head to see my brother standing in the doorway in his pyjamas, his hair falling in wet locks across his forehead. His forearm covered his eyes. "I'm fucking blind," he growled and turned around, bumping into the wall before remembering to drop his arm. After that he stomped out of the flat, the door slamming in his wake.
Horrified, I looked up into Cam's face, my eyes wide. "I think I should let him get away with using the 'f' word on this occasion."
Cam snorted, laughter sputtering as he dropped his head to my chest, his whole body shaking with amusement.
I felt an irrepressible giggle escape me despite my mortification for myself and Cole. "It's not funny. We've scarred him. I better check on him."
Cam shook his head, his eyes bright with mirth. "You're the last person he wants to see right now … I'm sure he's barricaded himself in his room and is doing anything he can to burn the image of me dry-humping his sister out of his mind. ~ Samantha Young

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. ~ Josh Billings

Shadow was stretched out full length on the seat in the back. He felt like two people, or more than two. There was part of him that felt gently exhilarated: he had done something. He had moved. It wouldn't have mattered if he hadn't want to live, but he did want to live, and that make all the difference. He hoped he would live through this, but he was willing to die, if that was what it took to be alive. And, for a moment he thought that the whole thing was funny, just the funniest thing in the world; and he wondered if Laura would appreciate the joke. ~ Neil Gaiman

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. ~ Tom Sims

Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages. ~ Bauvard

Once a reporter stood in front of a fire as it consumed a house and then he turned to see the homeowners and their little son watching it burn. The reporter, fishing for a human interest angle, said to the boy, "Son, it looks like you don't have a home anymore." The little boy promptly answered, "Oh, yes, we have a home. We just don't have a house to put it in." ~ Barbara Johnson

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. ~ Dylan Moran

A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand ... well, God put a lot of thought in making you. ~ Khaled Hosseini

Knocking the shrieking goblins aside like skittles ~ J.K. Rowling

He runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery. ~ Holly Black

It's not wrong, pal," he said to her back. "You've been brought up to think so. Most of us have. But who are they hurting? Nobody. They're just making each other happy. And you want their heads to roll because it makes you feel funny. ~ Ann Bannon

She knew all about the cops and their trigger fingers and their predilection for dealing with those who would attack their brethren. Her father had drummed such stories into her from a young age; more so into Whiz, who bore the burden of being a black boy about to grow into a black teen. "If the police even look at you funny," Dad had said, "you hit the ground and put your hands over your head. Don't talk back. Don't try to run. Don't try to explain. They're just looking for an excuse to shoot you. Don't give it to them. ~ Barry Lyga

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny. ~ Martin Short

I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment. ~ Bauvard

It's a funny thing about love: you don't need to have it returned to love somebody. Loving's enough.
A Prologue to Love ~ Taylor Caldwell

Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive. ~ Frankie Boyle

I'm a pretty sad example of what one should do with eternal life. I've never reached any higher level of consciousness, I don't have access to any great truths, and I've never borne witness to the divine or transcendent. Some of this is just bad luck. Like working in the fishing industry in Galilee and never once running into Jesus. ~ Gene Doucette

The wife's gotta know. You can't hook up like that for what looks like about six or seven years without the wife figuring it out. Unless she's another idiot.
"I'm not an idiot."

Smiling, Roarke continued to stroke. "I'll keep that in mind when I decide to have a long-term affair."
"Yeah, you do that. They'll never find your body," she murmured, then dropped into sleep.

His smiled warmed, and feeling well loved, he dropped off with her. ~ J.D. Robb