Funny Father Quotes

Collection of famous quotes and sayings about Funny Father.

Quotes About Funny Father

Enjoy collection of 54 Funny Father quotes. Download and share images of famous quotes about Funny Father. Righ click to see and save pictures of Funny Father quotes that you can use as your wallpaper for free.

Unfortunately, once I did learn to smoke, I couldn't stop. I escalated to two packs a day very quickly, and stayed that way for about ten years. When I decided to stop, I adopted the method that my father had used when he quit. He would carry a cigarette in his shirt pocket, and every time he felt like smoking, he would pull out the cigarette and confront it: "Who stronger? You? Me?" Always the answer was the same: "I stronger." Back the cigarette would go, until the next craving. It worked for him, and it worked for me. ~ Kirk Douglas
Funny Father quotes by Kirk Douglas
My father taught me a good lesson: Don't get to low when things go wrong. And don't get too high when things are good. ~ Robert Parish
Funny Father quotes by Robert Parish
My knees on the ground, dear father, don't let me break, please make me stronger. ~ Rihanna
Funny Father quotes by Rihanna
My father was a small claims court jester. ~ Steven Wright
Funny Father quotes by Steven Wright
I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. ~ Craig Ferguson
Funny Father quotes by Craig Ferguson
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
Funny Father quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best. ~ Craig Ferguson
Funny Father quotes by Craig Ferguson
It's unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they're like a baby - it's not so funny. ~ Michael Haneke
Funny Father quotes by Michael Haneke
I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in the news business, by the way. He was a radio news guy. So the news was always in my house, and funny was always in my house. It was sort of just baked into the DNA that I would do this for a living, but I can remember being less than 10 years old and dreaming about being a comedian. ~ Bill Maher
Funny Father quotes by Bill Maher
I was a little bit ashamed of American TV because I thought, 'None of the shows my father works on are as funny as my father.' ~ Joss Whedon
Funny Father quotes by Joss Whedon
Toph, I want to tell you something. I want to tell you about my nipples. I want to tell you about my nipples, and generally about the nipples of the men in our family. Because someday, son [I do this thing, and he does this thing, where I call him son and he calls me dad, when we are having funny father-son-type chats, mocking them in a way while also being secretly, deeply queasy about using these terms], someday my nipples will be your nipples. Someday you too will have nipples that protrude unnaturally far from your chest, and which will harden at the slightest provocation, preventing you from wearing anything but the heaviest cotton T-shirts. ~ Dave Eggers
Funny Father quotes by Dave Eggers
My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident. ~ Jimmy Carr
Funny Father quotes by Jimmy Carr
I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm. ~ Woody Allen
Funny Father quotes by Woody Allen
When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy! ~ Rodney Dangerfield
Funny Father quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My father was a very funny man, and one of my strongest recollections is hearing him laugh. He didn't like people who had no sense of humour. ~ Mike Myers
Funny Father quotes by Mike Myers
When my father died, my mother came back from being Mrs. Birkin to being Judy Campbell. She was a stunning actress. She came out of her shell. She was herself again: this very independent, funny, intellectual lady - and was able to perform again, which was her life before meeting my father squashed it out. ~ Jane Birkin
Funny Father quotes by Jane Birkin
Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life. ~ Samuel Butler
Funny Father quotes by Samuel Butler
Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell. ~ Alan Partridge
Funny Father quotes by Alan Partridge
There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you. ~ Peter De Vries
Funny Father quotes by Peter De Vries
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. ~ Oscar Wilde
Funny Father quotes by Oscar Wilde
My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course. ~ Chic Murray
Funny Father quotes by Chic Murray
My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. ~ Mike Myers
Funny Father quotes by Mike Myers
You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic. ~ Richard E. Besser
Funny Father quotes by Richard E. Besser
Billy Gilbert hit a kamikaze back pass which Justin Fashinu pounced on like a black Frank Bruno ~ Ian Darke
Funny Father quotes by Ian Darke
The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope. ~ Pierre Teilhard De Chardin
Funny Father quotes by Pierre Teilhard De Chardin
She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock's locker room bitch. ~ Nenia Campbell
Funny Father quotes by Nenia Campbell
How sad to see a father with money and no joy. The man studied economics, but never studied happiness. ~ Jim Rohn
Funny Father quotes by Jim Rohn
You want us to bargain with a lizard?"
"They're not lizards, Father. They're extraordinary creatures who were
here long before any human was crawling on this earth. They are warriors
and scholars and - "
"He has long hair like a woman," one of Sigmar's sons blathered ~ G.A. Aiken
Funny Father quotes by G.A. Aiken
You're not mending anything, remember, Sand? The hedge." He paused and shook his head at himself. "And Perrotte's away for a few minutes, and you're talking to yourself again. ~ Merrie Haskell
Funny Father quotes by Merrie Haskell
It's funny; people get so doctrinaire about music. It should be the last thing you don't have an open mind about. ~ Randy Newman
Funny Father quotes by Randy Newman
The path I am trying so hard to follow is in fact the one that God my Father and His Son Jesus Christ want me to pursue. It has brought me deep happiness. ~ Clayton Christensen
Funny Father quotes by Clayton Christensen
My parents were early converts to Christianity in my part of Nigeria. They were not just converts; my father was an evangelist, a religious teacher. He and my mother traveled for thirty-five years to different parts of Igboland, spreading the gospel. ~ Chinua Achebe
Funny Father quotes by Chinua Achebe
God is an early bird; satan is a night owl. Everyone knows that. ~ Jon Acuff
Funny Father quotes by Jon Acuff
I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard. ~ Jenna McCarthy
Funny Father quotes by Jenna McCarthy
Maybe the Sea of Flames never existed at all, maybe curses aren't real, maybe her father is right: Earth is all magma and continental crust and ocean. Gravity and time. Stones are just stones and rain is just rain and misfortune is just bad ~ Anthony Doerr
Funny Father quotes by Anthony Doerr
Sexy." "I'm not interested in funny and sexy with Malcolm Kavanaugh." "Parker, if you weren't interested, on some level, you'd have flicked him off like lint on a lapel. He ... " Laurel searched for the right word. "He intrigues you." "No, he ... Maybe." "As your friend, let me say it's nice to see you intrigued by a man, especially since I like the ~ Nora Roberts
Funny Father quotes by Nora Roberts
When I was a boy, my own dad told me in a smiling and wistful way that it's a wise man that knows his own father. ~ Michael Leunig
Funny Father quotes by Michael Leunig
If not for the rats you could crawl beneath a bush. A bush. A bench. The alliterative universe. Rats too can pass through that needle's eye to enter heaven ... This box held a refrigerator, the refrigerator is an apartment, a man is in the box ... Wake up on the grass, soaking wet. Dew is the piss of God. 'Another bullshit night in suck city, my father mutters. ~ Nick Flynn
Funny Father quotes by Nick Flynn
I'm not a good father and they're not children any more; the eldest is in his fifties. My relationship with their mothers broke down and, because of what the law was, they went with their mothers and were imbued with their mothers' morality in life and they were not my people any more. ~ Wilbur Smith
Funny Father quotes by Wilbur Smith
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use. ~ Mark Twain
Funny Father quotes by Mark Twain
[My father] had spent his own short time like a priest in charge of a relic, forever expecting the blessed blood to liquefy. ~ Mavis Gallant
Funny Father quotes by Mavis Gallant
-Question: "On a scale from one to ten how fierce are you?"- David: "You are just asking me this because I am gay ... What the fuck does that mean?" -David Levithan, at Teen Lit Con- ~ David Levithan
Funny Father quotes by David Levithan
My Selection wasn't a farce, but it wasn't that far off. My father chose all the
contestants by hand, picking young women with political alliances, influential families, or enough
charm to make the entire country worship the ground they walked on. He knew he had to make it
varied enough to seem legit, so there were three Fives thrown into the mix but nothing below that.
The Fives were meant to be little more than throwaways to keep anyone from being suspicious."
I realized my mouth was gaping open and shut it immediately. "Mom?"
"Was meant to be gone almost immediately. Truth be told, she barely made it past my father 's
attempts to sway my opinion or remove her himself. And look at her now." His whole face changed.
"Though it was hard for me to imagine, she is even more beloved as queen than my mother. She has
made four beautiful, intelligent, strong children. And she has been the source of every happiness in
my life. ~ Kiera Cass
Funny Father quotes by Kiera Cass
People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. ~ Erma Bombeck
Funny Father quotes by Erma Bombeck
But this show reminds me that there are other aspects to me besides the fact that I'm a funny chick. ~ Kristen Johnston
Funny Father quotes by Kristen Johnston
Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt. ~ Louis C.K.
Funny Father quotes by Louis C.K.
Funny how imperfections on the outside mean something splendid beneath. ~ Louise Penny
Funny Father quotes by Louise Penny
I went through in the edits and cut tons of stuff that was "funny" because if it wasn't funny at the time, so it shouldn't be funny now. It's about having that unity of experience. You have to try and take away your hindsight knowledge of a situation. ~ Damian Barr
Funny Father quotes by Damian Barr
the man i went on a date with did more than try to "cure me" of my asexuality
it's funny because i never thought someone's penis would be considered an antidote of any kind
and i don't think that's what my doctor meant when he told me i needed more Vitamin D in my diet
but apparently my sexuality was enough of a diagnosis for him to decide to play doctor with me
maybe he should've put his stethoscope up to my mouth instead of between my breasts
maybe then he would've heard me when i told him to stop it ~ Courtney Carola
Funny Father quotes by Courtney Carola
When she called to mind all this utter and crushing misery that had come upon my aunts' old music-master, she was moved to very real grief, and shuddered to think of that other grief, so different in its bitterness, which Mlle. Vinteuil must now be feeling, tinged with remorse at having virtually killed her father. ~ Marcel Proust
Funny Father quotes by Marcel Proust
My first Hip Hop concert was at the Apollo at the age of 12. Southpaw's father was interviewing Queen Latifah and Treach as well as many others. The place was so packed no one could move but I got to be backstage with the video equipment and so I saw the show from a great place. ~ Immortal Technique
Funny Father quotes by Immortal Technique
Hey! When he dug into it, rifling through her things, she snapped, Go Yoda someone else's supplies, asshole. ~ Kresley Cole
Funny Father quotes by Kresley Cole
I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that. ~ Jim Benton
Funny Father quotes by Jim Benton
When I went to stay with I'm, he asked me for something of my fathers to make the tracking easier. I gave him the Morgenstern ring. He said he'd let me know if he senses Valentine anywhere in the city, but so far he hasn't."
"Maybe he just wanted your ring," Clary said. "He sure wears lot of jewelry. ~ Cassandra Clare
Funny Father quotes by Cassandra Clare
Strange Life Quotes «
» Solar Systems Quotes