Funny Famous Last Words Quotes

I did not know that we had ever quarreled. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. ~ William, Saroyan

I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is correct. ~ Dominique Bouhours

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. ~ Pancho Villa

I know not what tomorrow will bring. ~ Fernando Pessoa

All right, then, I'll say it: Dante makes me sick. ~ Lope De Vega

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known. ~ Charles Dickens

The taste of death is upon my lips. I feel something that is not of this earth. ~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven. ~ Pietro Perugino

Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck. ~ George Sanders

I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper. ~ Gary Cooper

Bhagat Singh revered Lajpat Rai as a leader. But he would not spare even Lajpat Rai, when, during the last years of his life, Lajpat Rai turned to communal politics. He then launched a political-ideological campaign against him. Because Lajpat Rai was a respected leader, he would not publicly use harsh words of criticism against him. And so he printed as a pamphlet Robert Browning's famous poem, 'The Lost Leader,' in which Browning criticizes Wordsworth for turning against liberty. The poem begins with the line 'Just for a handful of silver he left us.' A few more of the poem's lines were:
'We shall march prospering, not thro' his presence;
Songs may inspirit us, not from his lyre,' and
'Blot out his name, then, record one lost soul more.'

There was not one word of criticism of Lajpat Rai. Only, on the front cover, he printed Lajpat Rai's photograph! ~ Bipan Chandra

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy. ~ Edmund Gwenn

If you give me the name of the contraceptive shot you had, I will source for more of them. I am keen that nothing interrupts our enjoyment of each other." His tone indicated the understatement of the millennium.
"It's called Depo-Provera. It's supposed to last three months or so, and Paul has a few more doses." When he'd injected me, I'd said, "The idea of living another three months feels far-fetched right now." He'd replied, "Better safe than sorry, huh?"

Aric nodded. "I will be on the lookout for it."


Aric raised a brow at that. Then, seeming to make a decision, he eased me aside to get out of the bed. "I have something for you." As he strode to our closet, I gawked at the sight of his flawless body.

The return view was even more rewarding.

He sat beside me and handed me a small jewelry box. "I want you to have this."

I opened the box, finding a gorgeous gold ring, engraved with runes that called to mind his tattoos. An oval of amber adorned the band. Beautiful. The warm color reminded me of his eyes whenever he was pleased.

"My homeland was famous for amber - from pine." He slipped the ring on my finger, and it fit perfectly. Holding my gaze, he said, "We are wed now."

First priest I find, I'm goan to marry you. Jack's words. I recalled the love blazing from his gray gaze before I stifled the memory. "Aric, th-this is so beautiful. Thank you."

The symbol of his parents' marr ~ Kresley Cole

Don't be scared," said a voice behind me.
Those must certainly fall into the category of Famous Last Words, the sort that are the last thing you hear before your death. (Along with "it isn't loaded" and "he only wants to play.") Of course I was terrible scared. ~ Kerstin Gier

He raised his brows. "You're drunk." "Am not!" He gave me a bland look. "A drunk's famous last words before they fall flat on their face. ~ J. Lynn

If you get into trouble, give a shout."
"We'll be fine," Gladys said.

Famous last words, Zane thought. ~ Susan Mallery

Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy. ~ Charlotte Bronte

It won't work. You see, he is a liar and a thief. And he's been one for too long. He can't retire now. In addition to which. He has become, I'm afraid, a hack.'
'He may be all those things but she knows he's not.'
'What gives her that curious idea?'
'She's been with him constantly for the last few days. She's seen him shaking with terror, exhausted, ready to quit. She's watched him pull himself together again and she's also seen him be warm and tender. And funny. Not famous-international-wit funny but really funny.'
'Do you think she's an idiot? Do you think she doesn't know what kind of man he is? Or what he needs?'
'And what he needs is L-O-V-E? Uh-uh it's too late. He is 43 years old. Or will be this October. He's been married twice, both times disastrously and there have been too many years of... too much dough, too much bad writing and too much whiskey. He's got nothing left inside to give. Even if he could, which he can't.'
'But that's not true. You can, you have. I just know it.'
'No, you don't. It's lousy. In any case, the problem is you're not in love with the script. You're in love with me. And why shouldn't you be? When suddenly, waltzing into your life comes this charming and relatively handsome stranger. Me. Smooth as silk, with a highly practised line of chatter, specifically designed to knock relatively unsophisticated chicks like you Miss Simpson, right on their ears. Which I'm terribly afraid I've done. Well if it's the last ~ Julien Duvivier

I want my famous last words to be more famous rather than last. ~ Carroll Absolom Bryant

When it comes to being famous, you're usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth! ~ Carroll Bryant

It can't happen here is number one on the list of famous last words. ~ David Crosby

Better is the sinner who hath thoughts about God, than the saint who hath only the show of sanctity. ~ Saadi

What say you, Empress of Praes?
Here you lie upon the blood-soaked ruins of your dominion, surrounded by the corpses of the legions that once swarmed over the world. Hundreds of thousands dead for the sake of your wretched ambition, your mad design to bring to heel the kingdoms of man. In all the history of Creation no one woman has been so wicked as you, and I will have my answer.
Why, o Empress of Ruins?"
She shrugged.
"Why not?"
– Last lines of the "The Fall of Empress Triumphant, First and Only of Her Name ~ ErraticErrata

Can you still have any famous last words if you're somebody nobody knows? ~ Ryan Adams

I shall look forward to a pleasant time. ~ John Hancock

When Winston Churchill wanted to rally the nation in 1940, it was to Anglo-Saxon that he turned: "We shall fight on the beaches; we shall fight on the landing grounds; we shall fight in the fields and the streets; we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender." All these stirring words came from Old English as spoken in the year 1000, with the exception of the last one, surrender, a French import that came with the Normans in 1066
and when man set foot on the moon in 1969, the first human words spoken had similar echoes: "One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Each of Armstrong's famous words was part of Old English by the year 1000. ~ Robert Lacey

Now I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark ~ Thomas Hobbes

Let all brave Prussians follow me! ~ Kurt Christoph Graf Von Schwerin

What could possibly go wrong? ~ Darlene Gardner

Don't Shoot! I'm Che. I'm worth more to you alive than dead! ~ Ernesto Che Guevara

No further issues with Corinne Bishop or her kin in Detroit?" "Hunter didn't seem to be concerned," Gideon replied. "Said he had the situation under control." Lucan grunted, wry despite the weight of the discussion previously under way. "Where've I heard that line before? Famous last words from more than one of us over the course of the past year and a half. ~ Tina St. John

Girls, I was dead and down
in the Underworld, a shade,
a shadow of my former self, nowhen.
It was a place where language stopped,
a black full stop, a black hole
Where the words had to come to an end.
And end they did there,
last words,
famous or not.
It suited me down to the ground.

So imagine me there,
unavailable,
out of this world,
then picture my face in that place
of Eternal Repose,
in the one place you'd think a girl would be safe
from the kind of a man
who follows her round
writing poems,
hovers about
while she reads them,
calls her His Muse,
and once sulked for a night and a day
because she remarked on his weakness for abstract nouns.
Just picture my face
when I heard -
Ye Gods -
a familiar knock-knock at Death's door.

Him.
Big O.
Larger than life.
With his lyre
and a poem to pitch, with me as the prize.

Things were different back then.
For the men, verse-wise,
Big O was the boy. Legendary.
The blurb on the back of his books claimed
that animals,
aardvark to zebra,
flocked to his side when he sang,
fish leapt in their shoals
at the sound of his voice,
even the mute, sullen stones at his feet
wept wee, silver tears.

Bollocks. (I'd done all the typing myself,
I should know.)
And given my time all over again,
rest a ~ Carol Ann Duffy

You can not drop astronomy. To get through this semester, I must live vicariously through you and hear about Cam at least three days a week."
"I'm not going to drop the class-" Even though I sort of wanted to. "-But I doubt I'm going to have anything to tell you. It's not like we're even going to talk again."
Jacob let go of my arm and sat back, eyeing me. "Famous last words, Avery. ~ J. Lynn

And now we get to the hard part. the endings, the farewells, and the famous last words. if you don't hear from me often, remember that you're in my thoughts. ~ Paul Auster

I don't know how it got to this, but I'm in a war. There's no chance for diplomacy. They want me dead and I don't think I can run from this. Not after what they've done to me. So if this is a war, then I'm going to take the fight to them. I'll raid their lair and I'll kill as many as I can. There seem to be endless numbers of them, but they've got to have a limit. Tonight we'll find out if there are more of them than there is fight in me. ~ Dennis Liggio

What are the funniest famous last words you've ever heard?" Lost, Ryan just stared at her. Why did her brain constantly spit out nonsensical questions? "Fine be boring." She turned to Jaime, who was sprawled on the neighboring blanked, and repeated the question.

"Lightning never hits the same spot twice," said Jaime. Everyone laughted. "You know any"" she asked her mate.

"Pull the pin out and count to what?" said Dante.

Dominic plopped himself on the ground next to Zac. "I got one: Hold my beer while I do this."

Taryn raised her hand. "Hey, what does this button do?"
"This doesn't taste right," said Marcus.
Bracken, a Mercury Pack enforcer spoke. "It's just a flesh wound."
Ally offered, "No dummy, that's a dolphin fin."
"What's that red dot on your forehead?" said McKenna.
Amused in spite of himself - it was after all, a completely pointless conversation - Ryan kissed her temple. ~ Suzanne Wright

He told me that in 1886 he had invented an original system of numbering and that in a very few days he had gone beyond the twenty-four-thousand mark. He had not written it down, since anything he thought of once would never be lost to him. His first stimulus was, I think, his discomfort at the fact that the famous thirty-three gauchos of Uruguayan history should require two signs and two words, in place of a single word and a single sign. He then applied this absurd principle to the other numbers. In place of seven thousand thirteen he would say (for example) Maximo Pérez; in place of seven thousand fourteen, The Railroad; other numbers were Luis Melián Lafinur, Olimar, sulphur, the reins, the whale, the gas, the caldron, Napoleon, Agustin de Vedia. In place of five hundred, he would say nine. Each word had a particular sign, a kind of mark; the last in the series were very complicated... ~ Jorge Luis Borges

Someone's got to be the hero," he replied, and walked off across the hull.
"Famous last words," I muttered. ~ Ransom Riggs

I'd rather be eaten by a dragon. ~ Patricia C. Wrede

I am a champion, and my damsel is in distress. Failure is not an option." "But death is," she mumbled under her breath. "Fear not, mate. I will prevail." Famous last words. ~ Eve Langlais

Those were my last words. To be listed in some book of quotations, alphabetically after Wilde:
Wilde, Oscar (of the wallpaper in his bedroom): "Either it goes, or I do."
Wilding, Adelyn (of the gum splooches on the sidewalk): "Ditto." ~ Roberta Pearce

There is a new trend among authors to thank every famous people for inspiration, non-existent assistance, and/or some casual reference to the author's work. Authors do this to pump themselves up. So, on the off chance that this is helpful, I wish to thank the following people: the Prime Minister of India for promoting literacy; Dr APJ Abdul Kalam, who called me up one day and said, "Hey, you're a good writer"; Kabir Das, who inspired me to write about love; Shahrukh Khan, who is an awesome actor; and last but not least, President of India, who once waved to me in New Delhi as the convoy moved from the streets to the Rashtrapati Bhavan Building, screwing up traffic for half an hour, thereby forcing me to kill time by thinking of a great plot to write this book. ~ Nitya Prakash

Why not? After all, it belongs to him. ~ Charlie Chaplin

This is no time to make new enemies. ~ Voltaire

Dammit ... Don't you dare ask God to help me. ~ Joan Crawford

All is lost. Monks, monks, monks! ~ Henry VIII Of England