Funny Face Quotes

Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers ... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. ~ Amy Poehler

I like the Kardashians. I watch 'em. When Kim got the botox in her face, and it made her face go weepy, that was funny. I also watch 'America's Next Top Model.' I've always been a big fan. ~ Sam Worthington

Honey, were you trying to be a 1950s beatnik from Funny Face or something?" He guesses, correctly. "It is one thing to channel your inner Audrey Hepburn, but it is quite another to wear a mock turtleneck and capris to a Hollywood event. This is the big time, sweetheart; you best check your costume at the door. ~ Katie Delahanty

I thought you had to go to The Hall?" she said.
"To learn?" Dar looked genuinely surprised. "No, Kale, Wulder is everywhere, therefore His lessons are everywhere."
"I know Wulder made all things, and Pretender tried to copy His work. But I didn't know Wulder is everywhere. How could that be?"
"You're thinking of Wulder as having a body and moving from place to place." Dar stood and pivoted in a circle with his arms outstretched. "Wulder is everywhere. You can see His power by recognizing His work. When a flower opens, that's His work. When the stars twinkle at night, that's His work."
He paused, facing her. He let his arms fall to his sides. "Look at me, Kale. Right now, I am standing with Wulder all around me. I'm under His protection, within His will, standing on His pledge. And Wulder is, at the very same moment, in me."
"Me, too?" asked Kale.
"Yes." Dar knelt in front of her, his earnest face only inches away.
She looked into his dark brown eyes and saw strength and peace. She wondered at his patience with her. Often her marione masters gruffly explained things they thought she should already understand.
Dar winked before he continued, his funny face serious and yet cheerful at imparting what must be old knowledge to him. "So many people don't know who Wulder is or what He's capable of doing. Their ignorance doesn't make Wulder less of a being; it makes them less. Until they know, they can't be whole."
He leaned back and sighe ~ Donita K. Paul

& I'm all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face ~ Nicki Minaj

Nanahara: Where are you going, Boss?
Yashiro: To the convenience store. Whenever I buy all the condoms they have in stock and bring it to the cashier, the part-timer there makes a funny face.
Nanahara: ... That's an interesting hobby. ~ Kou Yoneda

Suit yourself.' Sadie shouldered her pack, then helped Annabeth up. 'You say Carter drew a hieroglyph on your boyfriend's hand. All well and good, but I'd rather stay in touch with you directly.'

Annabeth smirked. 'You're right. Can't trust boys to communicate.'

They exchanged cell-phone numbers.

'Just don't call unless it's urgent,' Annabeth warned. 'Cell-phone activity attracts monsters.'

Sadie looked surprised. 'Really? Never noticed. I suppose I shouldn't send you any funny-face selfies on Instagram, then.'

'Probably not.'

'Well, until next time.' Sadie threw her arms round Annabeth. ~ Rick Riordan

Does it bother you when you see Daddy kissing Josh?" he asked.
Ty shook his head and made a funny face. "No, not really. I guess you really like him a lot."
"I do," Rex agreed. "I love Josh."
"I love Josh too, and so I don't care if you kiss him. But I thought boys only kissed girls."
Rex nodded. "Yeah, well, that's how it is most of the time, but you know some boys kiss other boys and some girls kiss other girls."
"Well, I don't wanna kiss no girls!" Ty said emphatically.
Rex and Josh both laughed. "Maybe someday you will, though. If you do, that's fine, and if you don't, that's fine too. For right now, you can just kiss Daddy." He leaned in and kissed Ty on the forehead. ~ Jeff Erno

What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron. ~ Dianna Agron

People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive. ~ Matt Lucas

I have gotten a couple of letters meant for Mr. Bean aka Rowan Atkinson. These letters would say things like, 'You're so funny, you make me laugh, with your big rubbery face,' and I would say, 'You can't mean me!' ~ Sean Bean

I don't get offered many dramatic roles. As soon as my face pops up in a movie, everyone knows I'm the funny guy. ~ Chris Elliott

And there it was. That slight lisp. That awful accent. That funny face that made him ache. Charlie wasn't just a cheat. He was a liar as well. Because Violette Zidane wasn't just the girl he was shagging, like he told the cop. She sort of owned his heart a little. Kind of a lot. ~ Melina Marchetta

If you're driving your car and someone winds the window down and gives you the finger and calls you an asshole, instead of giving him the finger back and calling him an asshole back, you just pull a funny face, and he doesn't know how to react to that, because you're using different rules. ~ Steve Coogan

Almost every cartoonist, when he's sitting down to draw a funny face, if you watch him closely, his mouth is gonna curl to the expression that he's drawing. But when I would write a story - I know it's going to sound almost ridiculous and infantile - I would, in a way, start living it. ~ Al Jaffee

Parker, what are you doing?" "Making a funny face in an effort to make you stop staring at me like I murdered your beloved goldfish. ~ Penny Reid

So this is the "smug idiot thinks he's funny" face, Kami observed. Not to be confused with other "smug idiot" variants. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. ~ Julie Brown

My background is all comedy. I've been doing improv since I was 17. It's funny, because when I meet people, I'm known as this guy who will punch you in the face or throw you out a window, when I also have a background in comedy. ~ Derek Mears

Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel ... used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too. ~ Jennifer Crusie

The lesson we are indebted to Egypt for, our future generations learned that in the face of oppression silence is never golden. ~ Aysha Taryam

A-Actually, the flower that sprang up would have been the iris or larkspur, not the modern hyacinth, but that is how it earned its name."
"Fascinating." His unfathomable eyes locked onto hers.
Elizabeth knew he was referring to her and not the history of the hyacinth, and though she commanded herself to move out of his reach, her legs refused to budge.
"Absolutely fascinating," he murmured again, and in slow motion she watched his hands reach out and gently grasp her shoulders, rubbing lightly. "Last night you were ready to do battle with a roomful of men because they dared believe I'd cheated, yet now you're afraid. Is it me you fear, sweetheart? Or something else?"
The endearment spoken in his rich baritone voice had the same stirring effect on her as the touch of his lips. "I'm afraid of the things you make me feel," she admitted desperately, trying to get control of herself and the situation. "I realize that this is merely a-a little weekend dalliance-"
"Liar," he teased, and he took her lips in a sweet, swift kiss. Her mind reeled from the brief touch, but the moment he lifted his mouth from hers she rushed into frightened speech. "Thank you," she blurted inanely. "H-Hyacinths are not the only flower with an interesting history. There are lilies, too, which are also part of the genus-"
A lazy, seductive grin swept across his handsome face, and, to Elizabeth's helpless horror, her gaze fastened on his mouth. She couldn't still the shiver of a ~ Judith McNaught

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me." ~ Tim Vine

Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation. ~ Ricky Van Veen

When businesses face tough times, one of the first items they cut is overhead expenses. The government should do the same. ~ Byron Dorgan

The teacher took two long strides and stood beside Parker's desk. Before the boy could speak, Mr. Earl threw the desktop open. For a second, he stared into it. A white glow reflected off his face.
"What is this?" he said, as he reached toward the brightness.
"Careful, Mr. Earl," Parker started to say, but it was too late.
The teacher screeched before lurching against the desk. He went down quickly, his feet vanishing into the desk last. ~ James Van Pelt

School is a place were you go to eat your lunch ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Nance is funny that way. She likes women her own size--like your sister. She knows where she is with a woman like Martha. Whereas Molly--she's so--well, so full of life, she makes Nance feel even sicker. ~ Tracy Chevalier

People do not often stop to dwell on the reality that the most difficult daily challenges we face are a result of dealing with human energies. That vibe they sent you, that vibration you picked up... that's just as real as the chair you are sitting on. Our souls are struggling, playing, fighting, winning, losing... all on the playing fields and the battle grounds of human energy. ~ C. JoyBell C.

Who told you you couldn't come back when you're grown? Was it the same person who told you grown-ups don't cry or blush or clap their hands when they're happy? Don't try to say otherwise, I've seen you fighting like a boxer to change your face so that it never shows anything. Whoever told you that's what growing up means is a villain, as true as a mustache. I am growing up, too, and look at me! I cry and I blush and I live in Fairyland always! ~ Catherynne M Valente

Irish Alzheimer's: you forget everything except the grudges ~ Judy Collins

I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids. ~ Mitch Hedberg

Infants never learn to soothe themselves to sleep. They learn, abandoned in seclusion, that no matter the volume of their despondence, no matter the force of their tears, when they are alone and frightened, no-one will ever come to their rescue. Infants do not soothe themselves. They merely surrender. And it is caged in their cribs where the infants learn, in the face of their demons, to remain silent and submitting. ~ C. Sean McGee

The whole idea of losing one's virginity is kind of ridiculous. To lose something implies carelessness. A mistake that you can fix simply by recovering the lost object, like your cell phone or your glasses. Virginity is more like shedding something than losing it. As in, Don't worry, Mom. You can call off the helicopters and police dogs. Turns out - get this - I didn't actually lose my virginity. I just cast it off somewhere between here and Monterey. Can you believe it? It could be anywhere by now, what with all that wind. ~ Sarah Ockler

Tracy McGrady is doing things we've never seen from anybody - from any planet! ~ Bill Walton

Why do women always look so funny alone at night? she thought. I guess you're so used to seeing them with someone. ~ Shirley Jackson

Lonely people have enthusiasms which cannot always be explained. When something strikes them as funny, the intensity and length of their laughter mirrors the depth of their loneliness, and they are capable of laughing like hyenas. When something touches their emotions, it runs through them like Paul Revere, awakening feelings that gather into great armies. ~ Mark Helprin

It wasn't gloom at all, really. There were lights and colors. If it hadn't been for the feel of the water gliding by against his skin he might have imagined himself up in the sky, with meteors and comets blazing past. But these were sea-things, shining in the dark, the luminous life that blazes beneath the southern sea.

First he'd see a tiny twinkling speck, like a star, and it might have been next to his face or a mile away, in that immense, featureless void, with its faint hint of green. It would grow larger. It would turn into a radiant sun of purple or crimson or orange and come rushing at him, and swerve aside at the last moment. There were sinuous ribbons of fire that coiled into bright patterns, and there were schools of tiny fish that flashed by like sparks. Down below, in the deeper abyss, the colors were paler, and once an enormous shape blundered past down there, like the sea-bottom itself moving heavily. Pete watched awhile and then swam up.

("Before I Wake...") ~ Henry Kuttner

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano. ~ Rita Rudner

Anyway, what do women grab when they're nervous and sitting at their desks? Do they slip their hands inside their panties? What a distracting thought. Just the word panty is distracting. I love that word; it implies so much. I love how women look in panties, how they're flat in the front. I'm thirty-five, but sometimes it's still this beautiful amazing shock to me that women don't have penises. They just have this lovely little mound of hair and then this tucked away glorious hole. Hole. Wait. Hole sounds vulgar. Is passageway better? Pretty envelope? Georgia O'Keeffe flower? Pussy? Pussy is good. I like the word pussy. Tucked away beautiful pussy. I wish I could put my face in one right now and sing out, I love you! ~ Jonathan Ames

I'm tempted to point out that our dealings, however unusual and close, were the dealings of businessmen. My ease with this state of affairs no doubt reveals a shortcoming on my part, but it's the same quality that enables me to thrive at work, where so many of the brisk, tough, successful men I meet are secretly sick to their stomachs and their quarterlies, are being eaten alive by bosses and clients and all-seeing wives and judgmental offspring, and are, in sum, desperate to be taken at face value and very happy to reciprocate the courtesy. This chronic and, I think, peculiarly male strain of humiliation explains the slight affection that bonds so many of us, but such affection depends on a certain reserve. Chuck observed the code, and so did I; neither pressed the other on delicate subjects. ~ Joseph O'Neill

Let's face it: Serious self-scrutiny has not been one of our notable characteristics. We are far more aware of what we want to change in others than we are of how we need to change. Salvation for our educational ills is only secondarily "out there." Primarily it will have to come from within an educational community willing to say that we have met the enemy and it is us. ~ Seymour Sarason

He's just ... " I tried, wanting to say "sweet" or "caring" or "funny" - because they're all totally true. But instead, I said, "He's just a normal boy."
"Hmph," Macey scoffed. "I know lots of normal boys."
I looked at her. "I don't. ~ Ally Carter

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

The world, he said, must face the sad fact that in an age when international cooperation should be the keyword, nations are farther apart than ever. ~ Erik Larson

How does one conquer fear, Don B.?" "One takes a frog and sews it to one's shoe," he said. "The left or the right?" Don B. gave me a pitying look. "Well, you'd look mighty funny going down the street with only one frog sewed to your shoes, wouldn't you?" he said. "One frog on each shoe. ~ Donald Barthelme

For as long as I remember, you've been my lifeline. Every possible future I've imagined, you've always been in it. Funny how I always imagined happily-ever-afters as if we were living in a fairy tale. ~ Mina Rehman

And how did you know about that?" Seven looked at his watch. Chase held up a hand. "Let me guess, in two minutes and thirty seconds, I was going to tell you Martin called."
"No."
"No?"
"Six minutes and fifteen seconds. You had a couple of false starts. Then you were going to apologize because he wouldn't help you by putting you in touch with his contacts in Washington."
"Something tells me you're going to be no fun come Christmas. ~ Adrienne Wilder

This is the Presley and Zachary of old times. Two hot-headed and emotional people. Yes, he's sweet and loving, but he has an angry side. When you poke the bear, he roars loud. Funny thing is that I'm the same. He's pissed me off by coming here yelling at me. ~ Corinne Michaels

Wolf ... " "How long? How long ago ... ?" She scrunched her shoulders against her neck. "Five days." He grimaced and turned away, his face contorting with pain that had nothing to do with his wounds. Cinder ~ Marissa Meyer

It dawned on him that he had never loved a woman wholeheartedly and that he had always been the loved one. This must have been the reason why he knew so little about love and women. In other words, emotionally he hadn't grown up. His instinct and ability to love passionately had withered away before they had had an opportunity to blossom. If only he had fallen in love soulfully just once in his life, even though it might have broken his heart, paralyzed his mind, made him live in a daze, bathed his face in tears, and frowned him in despair! ~ Ha Jin

I didn't do anything," Scott protested. "Breaking and entering is nothing?" Detective Basso echoed. "Funny, the law disagrees. ~ Becca Fitzpatrick

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. ~ Steven Wright

It was a great Olympics - Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow - especially when they had to make all of our "We're #1" T-shirts. ~ Jimmy Fallon

And so many things get lost. Not just a set of keys or a photograph of your father with his first truck, but the door those keys once opened, the childhood house you long ago walked into, the father who used to carry you on his shoulders high above the crowds at the summer fair, his body now ashes and shards of bone. You hold these things in place on a page, you walk through that door, touch his face and smell the cigarette smoke on his breath and in his shirt, you make things breathe again in words. You feel the lightness of a ghostly touch across your skin. In that small house on the corner, the porch light suddenly comes on. ~ Lorna Crozier

(From the story The Last Days of a Famous Mime)
He said nothing. He was mildly annoyed at her presumption: that he had not thought this many, many times before.
With perfect misunderstanding she interpreted his passivity as disdain.
Wishing to hurt him, she slapped his face.
Wishing to hurt her, he smiled brilliantly. ~ Peter Carey