Funny Computer Quotes

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Quotes About Funny Computer

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#1. The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim. - Author: Edsger Dijkstra
Funny Computer quotes by Edsger Dijkstra
#2. There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them! - Author: Richard P. Feynman
Funny Computer quotes by Richard P. Feynman
#3. All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. - Author: Isaac Asimov
Funny Computer quotes by Isaac Asimov
#4. Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - Author: John F. Kennedy
Funny Computer quotes by John F. Kennedy
#5. Any fool can use a computer. Many do. - Author: Ted Nelson
Funny Computer quotes by Ted Nelson
#6. It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. - Author: Craig Bruce
Funny Computer quotes by Craig Bruce
#7. We've created life in our own image. - Author: Stephen Hawking
Funny Computer quotes by Stephen Hawking
#8. When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop. - Author: Alan Perlis
Funny Computer quotes by Alan Perlis
#9. Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result. - Author: Alan Turing
Funny Computer quotes by Alan Turing
#10. wrote: What should we make of Frans Balder's artificial intelligence?

The words blinked onto the computer screen: Mission accomplished! - Plague - Author: David Lagercrantz
Funny Computer quotes by David Lagercrantz
#11. Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.. - Author: Ray Romano
Funny Computer quotes by Ray Romano
#12. On the seemingly one-sided relationship between Michael Jordan and his shoe sponsors Nike- The company should change its name to Mike. - Author: Alvin Robertson
Funny Computer quotes by Alvin Robertson
#13. I would like you all to stop for a moment and really think about not having a voice or any means to communicate," my computer voice says. "You could never say, 'Pass the salt' or tell someone the really important things like 'I love you.' You can't tell someone that you're uncomfortable, cold, or in pain. - Author: Martin Pistorius
Funny Computer quotes by Martin Pistorius
#14. Bob, would you be willing to take on Evil Bob?"
Bob's eyes darted nervously. "I'd ... prefer not to. I'd really, really prefer not to. You have no idea. That me was crazy. And buff. He worked out. - Author: Jim Butcher
Funny Computer quotes by Jim Butcher
#15. You're impossible," she told him.
"Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. - Author: David Eddings
Funny Computer quotes by David Eddings
#16. I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood. - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny Computer quotes by Henny Youngman
#17. Carma,
Here are the Pants and a little sketch I made of Leo. From memory, not from life. (And no, I'm not thinging of him day and night. God.)
Funny hair, huh?
He did not realize I was in his class. I think I'm making a big impression around here.
Love you,
Len - Author: Ann Brashares
Funny Computer quotes by Ann Brashares
#18. Or maybe, he thought now, he just didn't recognize all those other girls. The way a computer drive will spit out a disk if it doesn't recognize the formatting.
When he touched Eleanor's hand, he recognized her. He knew. - Author: Rainbow Rowell
Funny Computer quotes by Rainbow Rowell
#19. Generally it appears the case that, when faced with all life's problems, the baby, he wants to cry about everything, the child wants to question everything, the teenager wants to rebel against everything, the young adult wants to solve everything, the middle-aged adult wants to protect everything, and the elder wants to accept everything. - Author: Criss Jami
Funny Computer quotes by Criss Jami
#20. They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean? - Author: Adam Rex
Funny Computer quotes by Adam Rex
#21. On every full moon, rituals ... take place on hilltops, beaches, in open fields and in ordinary houses. Writers, teachers, nurses, computer programmers, artists, lawyers, poets, plumbers, and auto mechanics
women and men from many backgrounds come together to celebrate the mysteries of the Triple Goddess of the Dance of Life. The religion they practice is called Witchcraft. - Author: Starhawk
Funny Computer quotes by Starhawk
#22. You'll find boredom where there is the absence of a good idea. - Author: Earl Nightingale
Funny Computer quotes by Earl Nightingale
#23. Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard. - Author: Tom Robbins
Funny Computer quotes by Tom Robbins
#24. ...He was succeeded by a gentleman who gazed at the Brussels sprouts and asked if the funny little knobs on the stalks were a form of disease. I told him yes. Eczema. - Author: Beverley Nichols
Funny Computer quotes by Beverley Nichols
#25. He would have scored a touchdown if he hadn't been tackled right there. - Author: John Madden
Funny Computer quotes by John Madden
#26. I was a strange child. I was the kid with funny hair listening to dodgy music [ ... ] I'd come in with my hoodie and skate-shoes, with purple hair under the hood. I got away with it because I spent all my time in the art room, so they figured I was 'artistic'. I was that kind of kid, listening to Green Day and the Deftones and all that kind of thing. - Author: Katie McGrath
Funny Computer quotes by Katie McGrath
#27. 'Saturday Night Live' was like a university for funny. - Author: Tracy Morgan
Funny Computer quotes by Tracy Morgan
#28. Raffin appeared again, a floor above her, on the balconied passageway that ran past his workrooms. He leaned over the railing and called down to her. "Kat!"
"What is it?"
"You look lost . Have you forgotten the way to your rooms?"
"I'm stalling."
"How long will you be? I'd like to show you a couple of my new discoveries."
"I've been told to make myself pretty for dinner."
He grinned. "Well in that case, you'll be ages."
His face dissolved into laughter, and she tore a button from one of her bags an hurled it at him. He squealed and dropped to the floor, and the button hit the wall right where he'd been standing. When he peeked back over the railing, she stood in the courtyard with her hands on her hips, grinning. "I missed on purpose," she said.
"Show off! Come if you have time." He waved, and turned into his rooms. - Author: Kristin Cashore
Funny Computer quotes by Kristin Cashore
#29. The best computer programmers are much better than novices at remembering the overall structure of programs because they understand better what they're intended to do and how. - Author: Geoff Colvin
Funny Computer quotes by Geoff Colvin
#30. It's funny - when I first started as an actor, obviously there were long periods of being idle and all you want to do is work. So if I ever get the compulsion to feel like I should complain or feel like I want to take a break, I just remember how I was before and be very grateful for it. - Author: Neil Jackson
Funny Computer quotes by Neil Jackson
#31. As a matter of fact, Ona spent more credits on the window shades alone than you will make in your entire lifetime and that's if you live to be 185."
"And that's meant to make me feel better?" I said.
"No, that is meant to inform you. I am your computer not your nanny. - Author: John Zakour
Funny Computer quotes by John Zakour
#32. Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax. - Author: Bauvard
Funny Computer quotes by Bauvard
#33. You know how some people get sun-kissed, well i got sun bitch slapped - Author: Ryan Oliveira
Funny Computer quotes by Ryan Oliveira
#34. There is something sexy about a computer nerd. - Author: Sandra Bullock
Funny Computer quotes by Sandra Bullock
#35. With comedy, you have to do it right. In a drama, there's a lot of different ways to succeed in a moment. But comedy comes from reality. You can't try to be funny. - Author: Jack Nicholson
Funny Computer quotes by Jack Nicholson
#36. The three of you have one solution to every problem. Murder. No key fits every lock." Cardan gives us all a stern look, holding up a long-fingered hand with my stolen ruby ring still on one finger. "Someone tries to betray the High King, murder. Someone gives you a harsh look, murder. Someone disrespects you, murder. Someone ruins your laundry, murder. - Author: Holly Black
Funny Computer quotes by Holly Black
#37. I love black dresses. I think everyone should own a lot, but black dresses don't sell online because on the computer they don't read like anything. - Author: Tom Ford
Funny Computer quotes by Tom Ford
#38. Companies spend millions of dollars on firewalls, encryption, and secure access devices and it's money wasted because none of these measures address the weakest link in the security chain: the people who use, administer, operate and account for computer systems that contain protected information. - Author: Kevin Mitnick
Funny Computer quotes by Kevin Mitnick
#39. We passed a bill in 1997, signed by Democratic Gov. Lawton Chiles, which created a pilot program for a novel experiment called Florida Virtual School. The notion of children using a computer for a classroom and reporting to virtual teachers wasn't exactly mainstream thinking in those days. - Author: Dan Webster
Funny Computer quotes by Dan Webster
#40. Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. - Author: Lenny Bruce
Funny Computer quotes by Lenny Bruce
#41. I wrote a pilot for myself. It's about a Latina actress trying to make it in Hollywood. It's pretty funny. - Author: Melonie Diaz
Funny Computer quotes by Melonie Diaz
#42. As a child, one of my defense mechanisms was to try to be funny. My mom tried to nurture that by putting me in acting class. But I got bored when we stopped pretending to be trees and actually had to work. - Author: Ian Gomez
Funny Computer quotes by Ian Gomez
#43. There are so many ships in the animation sea that are computer driven, that I think we can have at least one that's just a log raft that we can row by hand. - Author: Hayao Miyazaki
Funny Computer quotes by Hayao Miyazaki
#44. C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success. - Author: Dennis M. Ritchie
Funny Computer quotes by Dennis M. Ritchie
#45. There should be more sincerity and heart in human relations, more silence and simplicity in our interactions. Be rude when you're angry, laugh when something is funny, and answer when you're asked. - Author: Anton Chekhov
Funny Computer quotes by Anton Chekhov
#46. I was really worried that sitting at home by myself in front of a computer was going to make me crazy. - Author: Gene Luen Yang
Funny Computer quotes by Gene Luen Yang
#47. You're never going to go. Why would you go? It's a disgusting place. It's always wet even when it's dry. There's nothing there. Farmers aren't really people, you know this. They're just necessary, we need somebody to kill cows. - Author: Dylan Moran
Funny Computer quotes by Dylan Moran
#48. My monetary studies have led me to the conclusion that central banks could profitably be replaced by computers. Fortunately, for me personally, that conclusion has had no practical impact, else there would have been no Central Bank of Sweden to have established the award [Nobel Prize] I am honored to receive. - Author: Milton Friedman
Funny Computer quotes by Milton Friedman
#49. The brilliance of Adam Scott is that he is so damn funny in a straight man role. - Author: Rob Thomas
Funny Computer quotes by Rob Thomas
#50. I've got a bunch of books ... I rely on funny books and movies to cheer me up. Oh, but I must say, I do have the world's most perfect husband, so a cuddle from him always cheers me up. He's a good guy. - Author: Wendi McLendon-Covey
Funny Computer quotes by Wendi McLendon-Covey
#51. We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read- - Author: Mark Twain
Funny Computer quotes by Mark Twain
#52. There's Pam watching anxiously. She doesn't look anxious though. - Author: Stephen Hadley
Funny Computer quotes by Stephen Hadley

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