Funny April Fools Quotes

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Quotes About Funny April Fools

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The haste of a fool is the slowest thing in the world. ~ Thomas Shadwell
Funny April Fools quotes by Thomas Shadwell
When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. ~ Otto Von Bismarck
Funny April Fools quotes by Otto Von Bismarck
The aim of the joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. ~ George Orwell
Funny April Fools quotes by George Orwell
Even the Gods love jokes. ~ Plato
Funny April Fools quotes by Plato
Art is the proper task of life. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Funny April Fools quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche
Who's stupid now, Jimbo?! ~ April Henry
Funny April Fools quotes by April Henry
Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS. ~ Jay Leno
Funny April Fools quotes by Jay Leno
I call them April babies cuz they fools ~ Lil' Wayne
Funny April Fools quotes by Lil' Wayne
Actually, we did a fun April Fools' thing with Google a couple of years ago, which we called Virgle. And we looked for volunteers to go on a one-way trip to Mars. ~ Richard Branson
Funny April Fools quotes by Richard Branson
I am severely distracted these days. It's hard to sit in front of the computer, uploading bad music for hours, when you have a wonderful boyfriend who treats you like a Goddess. ~ April Winchell
Funny April Fools quotes by April Winchell
I hear sweets help these kind of things, too…" -Jared
"What kind of things is that?" -April
"I don't know." He shrugs before adding, "Woman troubles, heartbreak, Twilight ending? Whatever bugs your mind."-Jared ~ Sheena Hutchinson
Funny April Fools quotes by Sheena Hutchinson
I'm sorry Mr Lichtenstein, but your January birthday means only one thing and that's you're probably conceived
on April Fools Day. ~ Olivia Lichtenstein
Funny April Fools quotes by Olivia Lichtenstein
If you're going to be a superhero, can I be your sidekick?" -April
"What?" -Grace
"The Dynamic Duo!" -April
"Um, I'm pretty sure sidekicks have to have super powers, too. -Grace
"Oh Yeah ... Okay, but you can always use an Alfred." April
"My Alfred?" -Grace
"Oh come on Please I can help you design gadgets and stuff. Oh! I can design you outfits for crime fighting!" -April
" *sigh* Okay. Sure. But no spandex" -Grace ~ Bree Despain
Funny April Fools quotes by Bree Despain
Funny how things work themselves out. Things happen that split up family and friends, then things happen that bring them back together. Everyone is in your life for a reason. My hope is for all the reasons to be good. Those who love you never lose touch, are always consistent, and unquestionable. ~ April Mae Monterrosa
Funny April Fools quotes by April Mae Monterrosa
Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath. ~ John Oliver
Funny April Fools quotes by John Oliver
All the girls joined in.
'I was thirteen last April and it rained on my birthday and I didn't even get to wear anything special -'
'We turned ten - just two months ago -'
'I usually get a book for my birthday - but - this year -'
'You forgot my birthday, too.'
'And mine.'
The girls looked miserable. The King opened his mouth, then shut it.
'Sir!' whined Lord Teddie. 'You forgot my birthday, too!'
Bramble gave a surprised laugh, then slapped her hand over her mouth, as though shocked at letting it out. The tension broke. The girls laughed sheepishly, and Lord Teddie beamed. He probably did not have many ladies think him funny. ~ Heather Dixon
Funny April Fools quotes by Heather Dixon
have taken the opportunity to update the book and include new theoretical and observational results obtained since the book was first published (on April Fools' Day, 1988). I have ~ Stephen Hawking
Funny April Fools quotes by Stephen Hawking
The weather wouldn't settle down. It would rain cats and dogs, then stop, then drip awhile, then stop while it made up its mind what to do next. ~ Glendon Swarthout
Funny April Fools quotes by Glendon Swarthout
Life is funny...we never know what's in store for us and time brings on what is meant to be. ~ April Mae Monterrosa
Funny April Fools quotes by April Mae Monterrosa
One of the things I loved about Chris was his sense of humor, which seemed perfectly matched with mine, even at its most offbeat. April Fools' Day was always a major highlight. A month before our daughter was due, I woke him up in the middle of the night.
"Don't panic," I told him, "but I think I'm going into labor."
"Do we have a bag?" he asked, jumping up immediately.
"No, no, don't worry." I slipped out of bed and went to take a shower.
Chris immediately got dressed and, calmly but very quickly, gathered my clothes and packed a suitcase.
"I'm ready!" he announced, barging into the bathroom.
"Babe, do you know what day it is?" I asked sweetly. It was two A.M., April 1.
"Are you kidding me?" he said, disbelieving.
I laughed and plunged back into the shower.
He quickly got revenge by flushing the toilet, sending a burst of cold water across my body.
In retrospect, maybe I'd been a little cruel, but we did love teasing each other. At our wedding, we'd smooshed cake into each other's faces. That began a tradition that continued at each birthday--whether it was ours or not. The routine never seemed to get old. We'd giggle and laugh, chasing each other as if we were crazy people. Our friends and neighbors got used to it--and learned to stay out of the line of fire. ~ Taya Kyle
Funny April Fools quotes by Taya Kyle
As a wise man once said, "April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads." ~ Al Yankovic
Funny April Fools quotes by Al Yankovic
Our wisdom comes from our experience,
and our experience comes from our foolishness. ~ Sacha Guitry
Funny April Fools quotes by Sacha Guitry
When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. ~ Ernest Hemingway,
Funny April Fools quotes by Ernest Hemingway,
Indiana's governor is coming under fire for a new law that some people feel is anti-gay. The governor now says he is not anti-gay. Then immediately afterwards he said, 'April Fools.' It wasn't his best joke. ~ Conan O'Brien
Funny April Fools quotes by Conan O'Brien
All I know is that my life feels like a giant April Fool's Joke most of the time. Either that or a mysterious box that has something different in it every time you open it. ~ David Estes
Funny April Fools quotes by David Estes
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. ~ Ambrose Bierce
Funny April Fools quotes by Ambrose Bierce
I have taken the opportunity to update the book and include new theoretical and observational results obtained since the book was first published (on April Fools' Day, 1988). ~ Stephen Hawking
Funny April Fools quotes by Stephen Hawking
Of course 'we humans' have a funny relationship with the beings with whom we share our planet. We eat them, we care for them, we admire them, we use them. ~ April Gornik
Funny April Fools quotes by April Gornik
On April 1, the Holy Spirit descended into the body of President Jerry Falwell I, who, it turned out, was in the last year of his life on this world, and God spoke. He wanted them to form God's Church of the Evangels and he wanted all Americans to have a chance to convert to that true church. Those who did not would be an abomination to the Lord. All the leaders present recognized the voice of the Holy Spirit and fell to their knees and all instantly joined the newly -formed church. The Great Conversion had begun. Interestingly enough, April 1 used to be known as April Fool's Day and people played practical jokes on each other , but of course it is now Jerry Falwell Day and the holiday is celebrated with praises to the Holy Spirit. ~ Randy Attwood
Funny April Fools quotes by Randy Attwood
Some people can't be fooled on April Fool's Day because they were fooled too many times during their entire lifetime. ~ Akash B Chandran
Funny April Fools quotes by Akash B Chandran
By now the streets of Kalaupapa were filled with people racing for high ground - sick people crying
"Tsunami!" as nature played yet another mean trick on them, God's last best joke at their expense. It was,
after all, April Fool's Day. ~ Alan Brennert
Funny April Fools quotes by Alan Brennert
1429 was a whole year long, and Paris is a big city. When in 1429, and where in Paris are two very big questions on a long list of big questions that we don't know the answers to." Funny, for a second there, I actually sounded rational and careful. As if leaping head-first into bad plans wasn't my specialty. Ringo ~ April White
Funny April Fools quotes by April White
Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15. ~ Ronald Reagan
Funny April Fools quotes by Ronald Reagan
When I was about ten years old, I gave my teacher an April Fool's sandwich, which had a dead goldfish in it. ~ Alan Alda
Funny April Fools quotes by Alan Alda
For April Fools Day, someone played a really cruel joke on me. They stole ALL my mirrors and I had to go hours without seeing myself. I mean, I couldn't even do my daily affirmations. What kind of world is this? I tell you, it's artists like myself that really suffer. ~ James Franco
Funny April Fools quotes by James Franco
Fools "Sell Out" Where Angels Fear to Tread ~ Dean Cavanagh
Funny April Fools quotes by Dean Cavanagh
That's all we had when I was a kid: Robitussin. No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. "Daddy, I got asthma." "Robitussin." "I got cancer." "Robitussin." "I broke my leg." Daddy poured Robitussin on it. "Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get in there. Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get on down to the bone. The 'tussin ought to straighten out the bone." ~ Chris Rock
Funny April Fools quotes by Chris Rock
The good lawyer is not the man who has an eye to every side and angle of contingency, and qualifies all his qualifications, but who throws himself on your part so heartily, that he can get you out of a scrape. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Funny April Fools quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The older I get, the less I suffer fools gladly. ~ Kathleen Turner
Funny April Fools quotes by Kathleen Turner
Personally I think there is no doubt that sub-atomic energy is available all around us, and that one day man will release and control its almost infinite power. We cannot prevent him from doing so and can only hope that he will not use it exclusively in blowing up his next door neighbour. (1936) ~ Francis William Aston
Funny April Fools quotes by Francis William Aston
it is funny how things are always perfect as long as you keep quiet. And then, what's the point in having an awesome lover when you do not let yourself admit it, even to your closest friends? And, if you do not kiss and tell, are your affairs real, or nothing more than bedroom distractions; check-in before midnight, check-out before 9 AM? ~ Gina Wings
Funny April Fools quotes by Gina Wings
I launched into my speech, it took me a few seconds to realize that the only one listening was max (the dog) but at least he had the good manners to stop chewing the toilet brush and pay attention. ~ Sammi Carter
Funny April Fools quotes by Sammi Carter
Her voice is soft and kind. "Danny, do you feel safe at home?"

No.

There it is. I don't feel safe at home. I open my mouth to say something, and as I do I realize that like my other, I can't give it a name. Not out loud. Not even to Valkyrja. Because if I admit it, if I call it what it is, then I can't hide from it anymore either. It becomes real in a way I am not ready for. Might never be ready for. Ther will be no illusions of safety, no peaceful times alone in my room.

There will only be times when he's not hurting me. ~ April Daniels
Funny April Fools quotes by April Daniels
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