Funny Adventure Quotes

Art flourishes where there is a sense of adventure. ~ Alfred North Whitehead

People of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon and seldom drive business home to it's conclusion, but content themselves with a mediocrity of success. ~ Francis Bacon

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member ~ Groucho Marx

I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

The Captain was wearing his best blousey shirt, his beard was gleaming in the early morning light and he'd polished all his gold teeth. As he strode manfully towards the shore, the only thing that could have make him look even more heroic that he already did would have been the theme to Flash Gordon playing in the background, but it was a hundred and seventy years too early for that. ~ Gideon Defoe

That day will never come. I'll be the last bachelor standing." Dylan made a show of looking at his watch. "And if I hustle, I can still meet, mingle and be the answer to some woman's sexual prayers. Let's hit it before she settles on second best. ~ Jory Strong

A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other ... until death do them join. ~ Elbert Hubbard

It's spider season. Every year, right about now, thousands of the godless eight-legged bastards emerge from the bowels of hell (or the garden, whichever's nearest) with the sole intention of tormenting humankind. ~ Charlie Brooker

Oh come on,'Pheobe continued. 'You're asking for it. Pale skin, black clothes, no lunch and that whole brooding thing? It's hilarious. You should get body glitter and go after an unsuspecting freshman.'
'You should!' Cassidy agreed. 'Tell her you're a dangerous monster. And mention how good her blood smells.'
'Wrong time of the month on that one, and I'm getting slapped,' I muttered, and everyone laughed. ~ Robyn Schneider

Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it. ~ Woody Allen

The British are so funny. ~ Rose Byrne

I went swimming the other day and my wife was watching and she said, 'You know, it's funny, it's when you've got no clothes on, no one recognizes you.' I said, 'What are you saying? That I should do more love scenes?' ~ Eddie Marsan

I live in Los Angeles, I know it exists. I know you're not supposed to taste air. ~ Marc Maron

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails. ~ Jonathan Swift

My smile wavers as I revert to my natural state of being: nervous and weird. ~ Stephanie Perkins

So is that why you're hanging out here? To seduce bookish chicks?"
"I don't know. Maybe. Is it working? ~ Elizabeth Brown

Agreed," I say. "It's going to be a long hour."
"Maybe not that long," says Peeta." what was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me ... no competition ... best thing that ever happened to you ... "
" I don't remember that last part," I say, hoping it's too dim in here for the cameras to pick up my blush.
" Oh, that's right. That's what I was thinking," he says " Scoot over, I'm freezing. ~ Suzanne Collins

Jail's are a spooky place," remarked Bill, trying to match the pace of detective Adam.

"Oh that is nothing in front of the ultimate fear" replied detective Adam.

"Ultimate fear?"

"Funny thing that, the ultimate fear is also the ultimate relief."

"Which is?"

"Death ~ Rao Umar Javed

No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy. ~ Rachel Hawkins

It is risky to order a boy not to do something; it immediately opens to him the adventure of doing it. ~ Robert Baden-Powell

If you think I'm one of those people who try to be funny at breakfast you're wrong. I'm invariably ill-tempered in the early morning. ~ Daphne Du Maurier

Without setbacks there'd be no comebacks, and everyone loves a come. ~ Kyle Johnson

I must warn you, my story isn't a pretty one: abductions, time-traveling dragons, the Order of the Black Fez, highly verbal cats, a secret invisible city, condescending robots (condescending means they talk to you like you're an Idiot; wait, is it condescending of me to explain what condescending means?), and that's just for starters. - Willa Snap ~ Richard Due

When in doubt, know your way out, I always say."
"I thought you always said, 'When in doubt, blame the dark elves.'"
"Well, yeah, that too."
Oberon said. ~ Kevin Hearne

When you find your soulmate, the word relationship is redefined as Divine adventure. ~ Maximus Freeman

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name
and you've never been to that bar before. ~ Zach Galifianakis

All he wanted was a long, hot shower and a long, deep sleep.
Meaning that whoever this pissed-off brunette was, whatever deal she'd arranged with his flaky mother, they could talk about it after he'd scrubbed the jungle from his skin and rinsed the shampoo from his hair.
"What do you mean it belongs to you? It can't belong to you. I just rented it," said the girl aiming that pink blow-dryer right at his heart.
If he wasn't so damn exhausted, he might find that funny. She was holding the thing as if it would protect her. It was a blow-dryer! He nodded at it. "What do you plan to do with that thing, honey? Style me to death? ~ Tracy Brogan

Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs. ~ George Chapman

I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom. ~ Thomas Carlyle

I got nasty habits; I take tea at three. ~ Mick Jagger

Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Travel articles appear in publications that sell large, expensive advertisements to tourism-related industries, and these industries do not wish to see articles with headlines like: URUGUAY: DON'T BOTHER. ~ Dave Barry

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us – whether from a driven culture or a driven church – is try harder. ~ Stasi Eldredge

Love, a promise delivered already broken. ~ Lisa Unger