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#1. The best proof of extraterrestrial intelligence is that they haven't contacted us. - Author: Bill Watterson
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Bill Watterson
#2. I've come to believe that genius is an exceedingly common human quality, probably natural to most of us. I didn't want to accept that notion - far from it: my own training in two elite universities taught me that intelligence and talent distributed themselves economically over a bell curve and that human destiny, because of those mathematical, seemingly irrefutable scientific facts, was as rigorously determined as John Calvin contended. - Author: John Taylor Gatto
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Taylor Gatto
#3. FRYING-PAN, n. One part of the penal apparatus employed in that punitive institution, a woman's kitchen. The frying-pan was invented by Calvin, and by him used in cooking span-long infants that had died without baptism; and observing one day the horrible torment of a tramp who had incautiously pulled a fried babe from the waste-dump and devoured it, it occurred to the great divine to rob death of its terrors by introducing the frying-pan into every household in Geneva. Thence it spread to all corners of the world, and has been of invaluable assistance in the propagation of his sombre faith. - Author: Ambrose Bierce
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Ambrose Bierce
#4. Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from Sears?
Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper! - Author: Bill Watterson
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Bill Watterson
#5. True knowledge of God and of the secret of his wisdom comes from faith, because the obedience of faith opens to us the gate of the Kingdom of Heaven. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#6. God has not rendered you due punishment, but bestows upon you unmerited grace. If you wish to be an alien from grace, boast your merits," (in Psa 70) Again, "You are nothing in yourself, sin is yours, merit God's. Punishment is your due; and when the reward shall come, God shall crown his own gifts, not your merits, - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#7. I want everyone to get plenty of rest tonight, because tomorrow, we make plans to bury the new council chair. And don't worry about the shovel shortage," I said, glancing from face to determined face. "Because Calvin Malone has dug his own grave. - Author: Rachel Vincent
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Rachel Vincent
#8. To be Christians under the law of grace does not mean to wander unbridled outside the law, but to be engrafted in Christ, by whose grace we are free from the curse of the law, and by whose Spirit we have the law engraved upon our hearts. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#9. Undoubtedly the dress of a virtuous and godly woman must differ from that of a strumpet. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#10. I had a dream that Mark Wahlberg and his wife were our neighbors and we had dance parties in our living room and drank wine from Solo cups. I remember being confused as to why they lived in a regular neighborhood, or why it didn't seem to make anyone awkward that I had Marky's Calvin ads up in the living room. - Author: Crystal Woods
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Crystal Woods
#11. Thus our arrogance grows as we seek to exalt ourselves above others, as if we were different from them. Truly, there's no one who does not flippantly and boldly disregard and despise others as inferiors. Yes, - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#12. One afternoon a big wolf waited in a dark forest for a little girl to come along, carrying a basket of food to her grandmother. Finally a little girl did come a long and she was carrying a basket of food. "Are you carrying that basket to your grandmother? asked the wolf. The little girl said yes, she was. So the wolf asked her where her grandmother lived and the little girl told him and he disappeared into the wood.
When the little girl opened the door of her grandmother's house she saw that there was somebody in bed with a nightcap and nightgown on. She had approached no nearer than twenty-five feet from the bed when she saw that it was not her grandmother but the wolf, for even in a nightcap a wolf does not look any more like your grandmother than the Metro-Goldwyn lion looks like Calvin Coolidge. So the little girl took an automatic out of her basket and shot the wolf dead.
Moral: It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be. - Author: James Thurber
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by James Thurber
#13. Now, in order that true religion may shine upon us, we ought to hold that it must take its beginning from heavenly doctrine and that no one can get even the slightest taste of right and sound doctrine unless he be a pupil of Scripture. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#14. Let it stand, therefore, as an indubitable truth, which no engines can shake, that the mind of man is so entirely alienated from the righteousness of God that he cannot conceive, desire, or design any thing but what is wicked, distorted, foul, impure, and iniquitous; that his heart is so thoroughly envenomed by sin that it can breathe out nothing but corruption and rottenness; that if some men occasionally make a show of goodness, their mind is ever interwoven with hypocrisy and deceit, their soul inwardly bound with the fetters of wickedness. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#15. Therefore, we are today far from wrong in applying this prophecy to the papists, who urge celibacy and abstinence from foods more forcefully than any precept of God. They - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#16. Therefore, God's foreknowledge cannot be the reason of our election, because when God [looks into the future and] surveys all mankind, he will find them all, from the first to the last, under the same curse. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#17. A man will be justified by faith when, excluded from righteousness of works, he by faith lays hold of the righteousness of Christ, and clothed in it, appears in the sight of God not as a sinner, but as righteous ... - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#18. After 50 years, is it not clear that God has raised up new illnesses connected with fornication? From where do these things come if not from the hand of God? [In response to these diseases] The world was astounded, and people were terrified for a time, but they have not, to this day, observed the hand of God. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#19. And we're not alone, you know, children," came Mrs. Whatsit, the comforter. "All through the universe, it's being fought, all through the cosmos, and my, but it's a grand and exciting battle. I know it's hard for you to understand about size, how there's very little difference in the size of the tiniest microbe and the greatest galaxy. You think about that, and maybe it won't seem strange to you that some of our very best fighters have come right from your own planet, and it's a little planet, dears, out on the edge of a little galaxy. You can be proud that it's done so well."

"Who have our fighters been? Calvin asked.

"Oh, you must know them, dear," Mrs. Whatsit said.

Mrs. Who's spectacles shone out at them triumphantly. "And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not."

"Jesus!" Charles Wallace said. "Why of course, Jesus!"

"Of course!" Mrs. Whatsit said. "Go on, Charles, love. There were others. All your great artists. They've been lights for us to see by. - Author: Madeleine L'Engle
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Madeleine L'Engle
#20. No method of procedure has ever been devised by which liberty could be divorced from local self-government. No plan of centralization has ever been adopted which did not result in bureaucracy, tyranny, inflexibility, reaction, and decline. - Author: Calvin Coolidge
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Calvin Coolidge
#21. Wherefore all theology, when separated from Christ, is not only vain and confused, but is also mad, deceitful, and spurious; for, though the philosophers sometimes utter excellent sayings, yet they have nothing but what is short-lived, and even mixed up with wicked and erroneous sentiments. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#22. And we must so discuss them as to bear in mind that this is the main hinge on which religion turns,3 so that we devote the greater attention and care to it. For unless you first of all grasp what your relationship to God is, and the nature of his judgment concerning you, you have neither a foundation on which to establish your salvation nor one on which to build piety toward God. But the need to know this will better appear from the knowledge itself. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#23. The illumination of our minds by the Holy Spirit belongs to our renewal, and thus faith flows from regeneration as from its source; but since it is by the same faith that we receive Christ, who sanctifies us by his Spirit, on that account it is said to be the beginning of our adoption. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#24. All the arts come from God and are to be respected as divine inventions - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#25. Meg took a batch of forks from the drawer and turned them over and over, looking at them. "I'm all confused again." "Oh, so 'm I," Calvin said gaily. "But now at least I know we're going somewhere. - Author: Madeleine L'Engle
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Madeleine L'Engle
#26. Tim turned around, and took a few steps away from her. It was as though a lever had been pulled that activated several mixtures of emotions that left him in a bizarre land searching through a wide forest for a particular tree that had an emergency shade of peace. He turned back around, and stood with his hands in his pockets. An empty bucket of happiness had been dumped out on the road of his burst bubble, and left him longing for the substance of a smile. - Author: Calvin W. Allison
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Calvin W. Allison
#27. At this day ... the earth sustains on her bosom many monster minds, minds which are not afraid to employ the seed of Deity deposited in human nature as a means of suppressing the name of God. Can anything be more detestable than this madness in man, who, finding God a hundred times both in his body and his soul, makes his excellence in this respect a pretext for denying that there is a God? He will not say that chance has made him different from the brutes; ... but, substituting Nature as the architect of the universe, he suppresses the name of God. - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#28. There are always those who are willing to surrender local self-government and turn over their affairs to some national authority in exchange for a payment of money out of the Federal Treasury. Whenever they find some abuse needs correction in their neighborhood, instead of applying the remedy themselves they seek to have a tribunal sent on from Washington to discharge their duties for them, regardless of the fact that in accepting such supervision they are bartering away their freedom. - Author: Calvin Coolidge
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Calvin Coolidge
#29. Read Demosthenes or Cicero, read Plato, Aristotle, or any other of that class: you will, I admit, feel wonderfully allured, pleased, moved, enchanted; but turn from them to the reading of the Sacred Volume, and whether you will or not, it will so affect you, so pierce your heart, so work its way into your very marrow, that, in comparison of the impression so produced, that of orators and philosophers will almost disappear; making it manifest that in the Sacred Volume there is a truth divine, a something which makes it immeasurably superior to all the gifts and graces attainable by man. Section - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin
#30. These were no ordinary celebrations. The world, devoid of color, embraced a somber gray tone, and no sunlight dared to pierce the clouds overhead. A chill in the air caressed Brad's skin as he searched within for some hope that this was just a nightmare he would awaken from. Nothing but a void of despair presented itself, and still the people rejoiced. No, these weren't ordinary celebrations. They were dark celebrations. - Author: Calvin Demmer
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Calvin  Demmer
#31. Monastic spirituality concentrated on private disciplines, as if detaching oneself from "the world" (i.e. society) might make one holier. Anabaptist piety was similar in that regard. However, Calvin thought of sanctification as a family affair. How could one learn loving humility, patience, wisdom, and forgiveness in isolation from others? - Author: Michael S. Horton
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by Michael S. Horton
#32. The intention of Scripture is to exercise our faith, that we may know we are protected by God's hand, and that we may not be subject to harm from Satan and wicked men. . . - Author: John Calvin
From Calvin And Hobbes quotes by John Calvin

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