Fools Day Quotes

By now the streets of Kalaupapa were filled with people racing for high ground - sick people crying
"Tsunami!" as nature played yet another mean trick on them, God's last best joke at their expense. It was,
after all, April Fool's Day. ~ Alan Brennert

The mistakes of the fool are known to the world, but not to himself. The mistakes of the wise man are known to himself, but not to the world. ~ Charles Caleb Colton

For April Fools Day, someone played a really cruel joke on me. They stole ALL my mirrors and I had to go hours without seeing myself. I mean, I couldn't even do my daily affirmations. What kind of world is this? I tell you, it's artists like myself that really suffer. ~ James Franco

When a husband's story is believed, he begins to suspect his wife. ~ H.L. Mencken

The haste of a fool is the slowest thing in the world. ~ Thomas Shadwell

Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS. ~ Jay Leno

One of the things I loved about Chris was his sense of humor, which seemed perfectly matched with mine, even at its most offbeat. April Fools' Day was always a major highlight. A month before our daughter was due, I woke him up in the middle of the night.
"Don't panic," I told him, "but I think I'm going into labor."
"Do we have a bag?" he asked, jumping up immediately.
"No, no, don't worry." I slipped out of bed and went to take a shower.
Chris immediately got dressed and, calmly but very quickly, gathered my clothes and packed a suitcase.
"I'm ready!" he announced, barging into the bathroom.
"Babe, do you know what day it is?" I asked sweetly. It was two A.M., April 1.
"Are you kidding me?" he said, disbelieving.
I laughed and plunged back into the shower.
He quickly got revenge by flushing the toilet, sending a burst of cold water across my body.
In retrospect, maybe I'd been a little cruel, but we did love teasing each other. At our wedding, we'd smooshed cake into each other's faces. That began a tradition that continued at each birthday--whether it was ours or not. The routine never seemed to get old. We'd giggle and laugh, chasing each other as if we were crazy people. Our friends and neighbors got used to it--and learned to stay out of the line of fire. ~ Taya Kyle

When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. ~ Otto Von Bismarck

The aim of the joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. ~ George Orwell

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath. ~ John Oliver

Gail Sheehy tells us that "the delights of self-discovery are always available." All Fools' Day is the perfect day to engrave this wisdom in our hearts. ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

have taken the opportunity to update the book and include new theoretical and observational results obtained since the book was first published (on April Fools' Day, 1988). I have ~ Stephen Hawking

As a wise man once said, "April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads." ~ Al Yankovic

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I have taken the opportunity to update the book and include new theoretical and observational results obtained since the book was first published (on April Fools' Day, 1988). ~ Stephen Hawking

On April 1, the Holy Spirit descended into the body of President Jerry Falwell I, who, it turned out, was in the last year of his life on this world, and God spoke. He wanted them to form God's Church of the Evangels and he wanted all Americans to have a chance to convert to that true church. Those who did not would be an abomination to the Lord. All the leaders present recognized the voice of the Holy Spirit and fell to their knees and all instantly joined the newly -formed church. The Great Conversion had begun. Interestingly enough, April 1 used to be known as April Fool's Day and people played practical jokes on each other , but of course it is now Jerry Falwell Day and the holiday is celebrated with praises to the Holy Spirit. ~ Randy Attwood

Even the Gods love jokes. ~ Plato

Our wisdom comes from our experience,
and our experience comes from our foolishness. ~ Sacha Guitry

Some people can't be fooled on April Fool's Day because they were fooled too many times during their entire lifetime. ~ Akash B Chandran

I'm sorry Mr Lichtenstein, but your January birthday means only one thing and that's you're probably conceived
on April Fools Day. ~ Olivia Lichtenstein

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? ~ Maurice Freehill

Art is the proper task of life. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

When I was going on one day in the car about not having any close friends - using my favourite metaphor: the cage of glass between me and the rest of the world - she just laughed. 'You like it,' she said. 'You say you're isolated, boyo, but you really think you're different. ~ John Fowles

I love idleness. I love to busy myself about trifles, to begin a hundred things and not finish one of them, to come and go as my fancy bids me, to change my plan every moment, to follow a fly in all its circlings, to try and uproot a rock to see what is underneath, eagerly to begin a ten-years' task to give it up after ten minutes: in short, to fritter away the whole day inconsequentially and incoherently, and to follow nothing but the whim of the moment. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

It is the author's opinion that all the scriptures, including the Book of Mormon, will remain in the realm of faith. Science will not be able to prove or disprove holy writ. However, enough plausible evidence will come forth to prevent scoffers from having a field day, but not enough to remove the requirement of faith. Believers must be patient during such unfolding.4 ~ Robert L. Millet

Yet how could I not have believed Hitler a genius and unique when every day I saw and heard how the major personalities of the Reich fawned over him and worshipped him with total devotion. ~ Heinz Linge

As Joe raised a hand to acknowledge the wave of applause rising to greet him, he found himself struggling desperately to keep back tears. He had never let himself dream of standing in a place like this, surrounded by people like these. It startled him but at the same time it also filled him with gratitude, and as he stood at the front of the room that day acknowledging the applause, he felt a sudden surge of something unfamiliar - a sense of pride that was deeper and more heartfelt than any he had ever felt before. Now it was on to Poughkeepsie again, and then maybe even Berlin. Everything finally seemed to be starting to turn golden. ~ Daniel James Brown

I cannot live the rest of my life without my husband. But I can live without him for one day. ~ Linda Feinberg

We are all hostages of time. We each have the same number of minutes and hours to live within a day, yet to me it didn't feel equally doled out. My illness brought me such an abundance of time that time was nearly all I had. My friends had so little time that I often wished I could give them what time I could not use. It was perplexing how in losing health I had gained something so coveted but to so little purpose. ~ Elisabeth Tova Bailey

In one day the Eucharist will make you produce more for the glory of God than a whole lifetime without it. ~ Peter Julian Eymard

He recalled how a voice in his head had warned that he would pay for his pleasure one day. Now that the day had come, ~ Amitav Ghosh

She was afraid to suggest to him that to most people, nothing "happens." That most people merely live from day to day until they die. That, after he had been dead a year, doubtless fewer than five people would think of him oftener than once a year. That there might even come a year when no one on earth would think of him at all. ~ Gwendolyn Brooks

The friend of God must not spend a day without God, and he must undertake no work apart from his God. ~ Charles Spurgeon

you go out to lunch with him again the other day? ~ Praveen Asthana

You're not done. Nor are you broken. You, baby girl, are an unfinished story. You can't quit and stop fighting because you don't know what the world has in store for you tomorrow. You can't say you're finished because you don't know the point of the book until it's all written. This book- the book that you write every day- is your life. You're still here, still fighting. So no, baby girl, you are not done. You're a working manuscript. You're the author. ~ Livia Jamerlan

Don't know when my life came to visualising intense pain and tragedy to putting it down on paper, to putting across a message of love in times of abject hate. Thank you everybody and the conspiracy of the stars for showing me this day. To many, many more books, inshallah, and to many more launches. ~ Simran Keshwani

The excitement I get from writing is finding out each day what happens next. ~ Charles De Lint

That's what art is, he said, the story of a life in all its particularity. It's the only thing that really is particular and personal. It's the expression and, at the same time, the fabric of the particular. And what do you mean by the fabric of the particular? I asked, supposing he would answer: Art. I was also thinking, indulgently, that we were pretty drunk already and that it was time to go home. But my friend said: What I mean is the secret story ... The secret story is the one we'll never know, although we're living it from day to day, thinking we're alive, thinking we've got it all under control and the stuff we overlook doesn't matter. But every damn thing matters! It's just that we don't realize. We tell ourselves that art runs on one track and life, our lives, on another, we don't even realize that's a lie. ~ Roberto Bolano

Hey, I drank milk that was a DAY past its expiration date. Now THAT is extreme! ~ Kurt Angle

Stand up, on this Thanksgiving Day, stand upon your feet. Believe in man. Soberly and with clear eyes, believe in your own time and place. There is not, and there never has been a better time, or a better place to live in. ~ Phillips Brooks

You have competition every day because you set such high standards for yourself that you have to go out every day and live up to that. ~ Michael Jordan

Where did love begin? What human being looked at another and saw in their face the forests and the sea? Was there a day, exhausted and weary, dragging home food, arms cut and scarred, that you saw yellow flowers and, not knowing what you did, picked them because I love you? In the fossil record of our existence, there is no trace of love. You cannot find it held in the earth's crust, waiting to be discovered. The long bones of our ancestors show nothing of their hearts. ~ Jeanette Winterson

Anxiety is a sly parasite. It creeps slowly into your mind, until one day, it takes over completely. Then you find yourself alone and scared to go anywhere because you may have another panic attack. You fear you may not be able to control it. You fear the unknown. ~ T. A. Massa

It was Sunday morning. I woke very early to a bright and cheery day, anxious to join my fellow Christians in this lovely garden of a land. The clerk in the hotel eyed me a little dubiously when I asked for a church. 'We don't have many of those, you know,' he said. 'Besides, you couldn't understand the language.'
'Didn't you know?' I said, 'Christians speak a kind of universal language.'
'Oh. What's that?'
'It's called "agape".'
'Agape? I never heard of it.'
'Too bad. It's the most beautiful language in the world. ~ Brother Andrew

Extol not riches, then, the toil of fools,
The wise man's cumbrance, if not snare; more apt
To slacken virtue and abate her edge
Than prompt her to do aught may merit praise. ~ John Milton

The efficient orgasm is the most productive moment of the day, because, apocalyptically, it has wiped the slate clean, and no one will ever know about it. What are you going to do now? Most of the time you could go back to reading. Some of the time you fantasize about a ragtag group of strangers thrown together by circumstance who go on a quest for some orgasm big enough to leave them wanting something different than they wanted before.

Like what? Gross food? Ugly stuff? Feeling like crap? Not understanding anything?

All you do is lie in bed with no underwear, trying to think of something bigger and better. ~ Lucy Corin

No matter how people mess with you or let you down, or how you let yourself down, a good book means that when you get in bed that night, you have a good hour. I feel like you pay all day for that hour. That's what books mean to me. I can open this two-dimensional, flat white page with squiggly little black marks on them, and someone has created this world that you're going to enter into ... ~ Anne Lamott

I read papers, try to watch news programs on television, but, as a rule, recorded. During the day I have no time for that, so I watch something taped. As for the newspapers, I try to get through them every day. Additionally, of course, I look through news bulletins. ~ Vladimir Putin

There's nowhere in New York to go and have your emotions to yourself. People just look the other way because every day people see someone crying on the subway! ~ Lennon Parham

Riches do not come by crossing your fingers and walking through the day hoping. Riches and wealth comes from well-laid plans. ~ Jim Rohn

It's really not about me. At the end of the day, God willing, I'll have another 40 or 50 years on this planet, and what I'm saying to myself is, 'What do I want to leave here?' ~ Macklemore

In life and in sports we know that nothing lasts forever. The same year the greatest physical gift (football) the Lord gave me was taken away from me, I was blessed with the greatest gift any of us could have in two beautiful children. I'd take that trade every day of the week. ~ Peyton Manning

Every day matters. I think so. I do. But I really have to work to force myself to see its value sometimes. ~ Danny Gregory

Nobody really knows her
Except the chosen few
Her secrets are kept hidden
Behind that sun-kissed hue.
If I reach out to touch her
She'll just run away
My Forever and Always
Will have to wait another day. ~ Simone Elkeles

The day had begun, cool and clear and absolutely impossible to avoid ~ Alice Hoffman

Not a day on your calendar should ever be empty. It's bad luck. Twenty-four hours of wasted opportunity. ~ John Corey Whaley

I used to dream of medals and championships, but now I dream solely of a blue-eyed fighter who one day changed my life, when he put his lips on mine. . . ~ Katy Evans

Most fools think he is the wisest person but the most wise person thinks he is a fool. ~ Debasish Mridha

A good wife is heaven's last, best gift to man, - his gem of many virtues, his casket of jewels; her voice is sweet music, her smiles his brightest day, her kiss the guardian of his innocence, her arms the pale of his safety ... ~ Jeremy Taylor

You see, for me [art]'s not one of life's ornaments, rococo relaxation to be greeted affably after a day of hard work; I'm inverted on this : for me it's my very breath, the one thing necessary, and all else is excretion and a latrine. ~ Arno Hintjens

There has not been a day since his sudden and mysterious vanishing that I have not been searching for him, looking in the most unlikely places. Everything and everyone, existence itself, has become an evocation, a possibility for resemblance. Perhaps this is what is meant by that brief and now almost archaic word: elegy ~ Hisham Matar

My goal in creating Geek & Sundry was to create a community based around web video, and we've accomplished that, especially on our budget. ~ Felicia Day

The day I realized that maybe my life was thrown off course because fate had something even better in store for me. ~ Colleen Hoover

A man protected his woman, after all. And Lord willing, one day Eden would be his. ~ Karen Witemeyer

We make assumptions every day about other people's genders without ever seeing their birth certificates, their chromosomes, their genitals, their reproductive systems, their childhood socialization, or their legal sex. There is no such thing as a "real" gender - there is only the gender we experience ourselves as and the gender we perceive other to be. ~ Julia Serano

You get used to it, you act friendly, and you become a
shell of your former self.
At some point, you would package this situation, labeling
it as "every day", and send it to the depths of your
memories. There was no doubt you would try to justify it
as something like a memory as well.
"Time was the medicine to everything."
But that was wrong. Time was nothing but a slow
inducing poison. It gradually eroded things of the past,
with the only purpose of ending things and forcing you
into resignation. ~ Wataru Watari

Something touched me deep inside The day the music died. ~ Don McLean

Stop waiting for the perfect day or the perfect moment ... Take THIS day, THIS moment and lead it to perfection. ~ Steve Maraboli

Some of the indicators of a properly functioning GI tract include having two bowel movements a day, feeling good after eating, sleeping soundly, having energy throughout the day, and experiencing no extreme mood swings or food cravings. ~ Teri Arranga

Janie had spent most of the day under a blossoming pear tree in the back-yard. She had been spending every minute that she could steal from her chores under that tree for the last three days. That was to say, ever since the first tiny bloom had opened. It had called her to come and gaze on a mystery. From barren brown stems to glistening leaf-buds; from the leaf-buds to snowy virginity of bloom. It stirred her tremendously. How? Why? It was like a flute song forgotten in another existence and remembered again. What? How? Why? This singing she heard that had nothing to do with her ears. ~ Zora Neale Hurston