Food Joke Quotes

A raisin is a grape that's had to many worries ~ Mary Jane Remole

I like bets... my favourite ones are those in which food plays big role. ~ Deyth Banger

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me. ~ Wallace Shawn

Everyone says Oscar Wilde was a dandy, but he wasn't - he was an aesthete. He took pleasure in food and stuff like that. Dandyism is much more austere - much more Calvinistic, more neurotic - it oscillates between narcissism and neurosis. ~ Sebastian Horsley

I believe it's a cook's moral obligation to add more butter given the chance. ~ Michael Ruhlman

Positive thinkers create large pictures of what they want in their minds and can predict the future from the present. ~ Israelmore Ayivor

Even though universal metanarratives are largely absent, personal "I" narratives are everywhere. The popular imagination is saturated with self-obsessive stories in film, television, advertising, music, MySpace, and YouTube - but this is the equivalent of bingeing on junk food while dying for want of substance. ~ Sarah Arthur

Your treasure is where your heart is. If a person believes that his or her treasure is in the body only - for example, in good food, a comfortable house, nice clothing, or other pleasures - then this person will be consumed by the pursuit of such things. Indeed, the more energy one puts into pleasing the body, the less energy one will have to invest in a spiritual life. The ~ Leo Tolstoy

Life is not enjoyed by being busy over everything in general, but being passionate about one thing in particular. Always focus on that one thing; dream it and live it! ~ Israelmore Ayivor

For an animal to attack you, you must smell or look either dangerous, or delicious, or at least nutritious. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

He turned away and offered his hand in parting. She didn't take it or say anything. But from where I was behind the door I could see her face through the crack. I pitied her to see how deathly pale that sweet little face had gone. Hearing no answer, Pechorin took a few steps towards the door. He was trembling, and I might say I think he was fit to do what he'd threatened as a joke. That's the sort of man he was, there was no knowing him. ~ Mikhail Lermontov

When you believe in yourself more than you believe in food, you will stop using food as if it were your only chance at not falling apart. When the shape of your body no longer matches the shape of your beliefs, the weight disappears. And yes, it really is that simple. ~ Geneen Roth

He smiled at his glass. It seemed to be in on the joke. It fed daring and plausibility to the tiny flame of rebellion growing in his heart. Rahid ~ Karen Lord

The ship started a school of fliers that skipped along the wave tops like shining silver coins.
"These are the ghosts of treasures ost at sea," the cook went on, "the murder things, emeralds and diamonds and gold; the sins of men, committed for them, stick to them and make them haunt the ocean. Ah! It's a poor thing if a sailor will not make a grand tale about it."
Henry pointed to a great tortoise asleep on the surface. "And what is the tale of the turtles?" He asked.
"Nothing; only food ... ~ John Steinbeck

Behind the story I tell is the one I don't.
Behind the story you hear is the one I wish I could make you hear.
Behind my carefully buttoned collar is my nakedness, the struggle to find clean clothes, food, meaning, and money. Behind sex is rage, behind anger is love, behind this moment is silence, years of silence. ~ Dorothy Allison

Actually, there is no biological connection whatsoever between the function of giving birth to and nursing a child and the function of washing its clothes, preparing its food, and trying to bring it up to be a good and harmonious person," Moberg wrote. "Both men and women have one main role: that of being human beings." In ~ Irin Carmon

Not to know one's true identity is to be a mad, disensouled thing - a golem. And, indeed, this image, sick-eningly Orwellian, applies to the mass of human beings now living in the high-tech industrial democracies. Their authenticity lies in their ability to obey and follow mass style changes that are conveyed through the media. Immersed in junk food, trash media, and cryp-tofascist politics, they are condemned to toxic lives of low awareness. Sedated by the prescripted daily television fix, they are a living dead, lost to all but the act of consuming. ~ Terence McKenna

For instance, people who have to walk miles for water - and we just turn on the faucet and let it run. Or people right here in our country [USA] who are food insecure, and yet we as a nation throw out an inconceivable amount of food. ~ Joy Bryant

Humans do not possess a single, focused will. In their hearts, they have countless bugs, buzzing in all directions. There are times when all these bugs pounce on the same food, but when they are focused on different desires, people take actions that can only be described as incoherent. ~ Kouhei Kadono

I wanted him to do it, I wanted it to happen-
And it did.
I controlled him. Just like the Mayor.
I watch him go, still walking to the food store, like it was his own idea.
My hands are shaking.
Bloody hell. ~ Patrick Ness

I went to Brazil in 2010 and pretty much did songs about that trip. I was there just to hang out, chill with the people, and feel the vibe. It was great - tons of great women, great skin, good beaches. Can't complain; the food is great. ~ Theophilus London

I complain to one of my fellow servers that I don't understand how she can go so long without food. "Well, I don't understand how you can go so long without a cigarette," she responds in a tone of reproach. Because work is what you do for others; smoking is what you do for yourself. ~ Barbara Ehrenreich

If we suddenly plant our foot, and say, - I will neither eat nor drink nor wear nor touch any food or fabric which I do not know to be innocent, or deal with any person whose whole manner of life is not clear and rational, we shall stand still. Whose is so? Not mine; not thine; not his. But I think we must clear ourselves each one by the interrogation, whether we have earned our bread to-day by the hearty contribution of our energies to the common benefit? and we must not cease to tend to the correction of these flagrant wrongs, by laying one stone aright every day. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's ridiculous to repeat costly mistakes because you believe there is always a next chance. Mistakes may flow, but you have all it takes to close the canals they used! ~ Israelmore Ayivor

Creatures shall be seen on the earth who will always be fighting one another, with the greatest losses and frequent deaths on either side. There will be no bounds to their malice; by their strong limbs the vast forests of the world shall be laid low; and when they are filled with food they shall gratify their desires by dealing out death, affliction, labour, terror, and banishment to every living thing; and then from their boundless pride they will desire to rise towards heaven, but the excessive weight of their limbs will hold them down. Nothing shall remain on the earth or under the earth or in the waters that shall not be pursued, disturbed, or spoiled, and that which is in one country removed into another. And their bodies shall be made the tomb and the means of transit of all the living bodies they have slain.
O earth, why do you not open and hurl them into the deep fissures of thy vast abysses and caverns, and no longer display in the sight of heaven so cruel and horrible a monster? ~ Leonardo Da Vinci

I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. ~ Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Man seems to be the only animal whose food soils him, making necessary much washing and shield-like bibs and napkins. Moles living in the earth and eating slimy worms are yet as clean as seals or fishes, whose lives are one perpetual wash. ~ John Muir

There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke. ~ Bob Dylan

When you create an economy where you subsidize corporate profits through a welfare program and food stamps in order to keep wages low in some perverse pursuit of 'competiveness,' than you reap the fruits of the anger that you sow. ~ Martin O'Malley

The early 1990s was a time of great advancements in precooked bacon technology. Pork producers, food labs, and agricultural schools such as Iowa State University began investing substantially in precooked R&D. ~ David Sax

away from fast food - for three weeks already. And I was starting to miss the occasional burger and fries. I assumed there'd be a few of the other lads feeling the same way. I talked to Sven, who thought it wouldn't do any harm, and then had a word with the England chefs. On the Wednesday night we all trooped down to dinner. The doors of the dining room were shut and there were two giant golden arches stuck up on them. We all went inside and there was a McDonald's takeaway mountain waiting for us: more burgers, cheeseburgers and chips than you've ever seen piled up in one room in your life. It was a complete surprise to all the players. We just devoured everything: it was like watching kids going mad in a candy store. And it worked. We did it again before we played Denmark. Maybe fast food was what was missing from our preparations for facing Brazil. ~ David Beckham

Chip and I were both exhausted when we finally pulled up in front of that house, but we were still riding the glow of our honeymoon, and I was so excited as he carried me over the threshold--until the smell nearly knocked us over.
"Oh my word," I said, pinching my nose and trying to hold my breath so I wouldn't gag. "What is that?"
Chip flicked the light switch, and the light didn't come on. He flicked it up and down a few times, then felt his way forward in the darkness and tried another switch.
"The electricity's off," he said. "The girls must've had it shut off when they moved out."
"Didn't you transfer it back into your name?" I asked.
"I guess not. I'm sorry, babe," Chip said.
"Chip, what is that smell?"
It was the middle of June in Waco, Texas. The temperature had been up over a hundred degrees for days on end, and the humidity was stifling, amplifying whatever that rotten smell was coming from the kitchen. Chip always carries a knife and a flashlight, and it sure came in handy that night. Chip made his way back there and found that the fridge still had a bunch of food left in it, including a bunch of ground beef that had just sat there rotting since whenever the electricity went out.

The food was literally just smoldering in this hundred-degree house. So we went from living in a swanky hotel room on Park Avenue in New York City to this disgusting, humid stink of a place that felt more like the site of a crime scene than a h ~ Joanna Gaines