Fiji Funny Quotes

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? ~ Steven Wright

I find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy. ~ Eric Drooker

Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut widow's peak and, not least, his ridiculous accent that grew thicker or thinner depending on who he was talking to, did not look like a threat. He looked funny, a joke, a music-hall vampire. It had never previously occurred to Vimes that, just possibly, the joke was on other people. ~ Terry Pratchett

Michael is a funny character, for whom I have a great deal of affection. He sat across his desk and seemed to be a bit of a blunt fellow. We began talking about the characters and he opened up about his vision. ~ Madeleine Stowe

Hello? ... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven ... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out. ~ Katt Williams

It's funny, because I sometimes feel that I'm most creative when I'm pregnant. ~ Georgina Chapman

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school ... who failed math. ~ Dat Phan

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. ~ Robert Frost

The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please. ~ M.J. McGuire

There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey. ~ Dick Van Dyke

I like to quote Homer Simpson: 'I'm like a chocoholic except for alcohol.' I come from a long line of alcoholics. It's funny because when I first started making records, I was at the tail end of a period of sobriety, so I somehow got this reputation as Captain Sober. ~ Moby

Sometimes you have to take the focus off of you and put it on someone else and it's funny what you can accomplish and how much strength you really have. ~ Hoda Kotb

Daemon pressed his forehead against mine. Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I'm insane. You're crazy. Maybe that's why. We just make crazy together. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge. ~ Bill Engvall

Kyo Sohma: One of these days I'll make you say you're sorry
Yuki Sohma: looking bored I'm sorry.
Kyo Sohma: Dammit That's not what I meant Don't you have any shame
Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed Yes I'm ashamed to be seen with you shouting in public.
Kyo Sohma: Oh that's it We're taking this outside
Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed We ARE outside you stupid cat. ~ Natsuki Takaya

You think you're a pretty funny guy, don't you?"
"Well, I don't want to brag…"
"You know what's really funny?" Geryon asks, taking another step toward the cell.
"Your face? ~ Cheryl McIntyre

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building ... I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done." ~ Steven Wright

Liberalism, on the other hand, regards life as an adventure in which we must take risks in new situations, in which there is no guarantee that the new will always be the good or the true, in which progress is a precarious achievement rather than inevitability. ~ Morris Raphael Cohen

He opened the door wider. "He's waiting." He gave me what was probably meant to be a significant wink, but a corner of his mouth moved more than his eye did and the result was a fairly startling face. ~ Dashiell Hammett

Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out. ~ Rich Vos

I remember listening to the radio as a kid and finding that the songs always made me feel more peaceful. Funny, but the more hurtin' the music was, the better it made me feel. I think of that now when I write my songs. I may not be feelin' the blues myself, but I'm writing them for other people who have a hard life. ~ Chris Isaak

Dear lord, the flash of his gleaming white teeth was like a hot button to my nether regions. Down vagina! Down, girl.
Bad Rep by A. Meredith Walters ~ A Meredith Walters

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab. ~ Scott Adams

Best Recipes from Eastern Europe" is not only a guide about how to cook, but also about how to decorate dishes in beautiful and unique ways. Let's make our breakfasts or dinners look classy, lovely, unusual or funny; it will add bright feelings of joy and amazement to our being.

Big happiness consists of small pleasant things - like these! ~ Sahara Sanders

I can write about all of these bizarre and funny characters in my book, "Diggin' Elroy," because I know them better than anyone else. I have a little bit of all of them in me. ~ Walt Griffin

I became at peace with the darkness or the personality that I have. I am usually pretty funny and happy. ~ Matt Berninger

Because, of course, of how intelligent you are. And funny. Not that you aren't attractive. Because you are. Attractive. Oh, bugger ... "
I wait.
"Are you still there, or did you hang up because I'm such a bleeding idiot?"
"I'm here."
"God, you made me work for that. ~ Stephanie Perkins

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net. ~ Russell Howard

Sometimes we don't want to be tethered to yesterday. It's nicer to forget. Maybe the gaps in our memory are there for a reason, evolutionary perhaps, to give us the space to grow, to get away from childishness or childish things. Or maybe it's so we have the chance to invent, or at least include, some magic in our yesterdays, surely the consolation of getting older, of moving away from youth, is that we can shape our past to our fantasies. So, even if the present isn't going the way we want it, we can stand and remember our earlier selves as exciting and funny and daring ~ Sue Perkins

Scott Foley was always fun because he's a very funny guy. So I liked working with him a bunch. ~ Ian Gomez

The best part of being married is ... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed together is funny, idiotic, or really sweet. Being connected is pretty miraculous. ~ Paul Reiser

I was fine till the finger, I say to myself, as I shift to reverse. You don't flip off Gilbert Grape. Let that be known. ~ Peter Hedges

There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot successfully be put into equations, because it is nonsense. ~ Clifford Truesdell

When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' ~ Steven Wright

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny. ~ Buster Keaton

No, it's that fun we have. It's real. I'm so thankful they cast good, funny, interesting, warm, kind people in "Castle", because we blend very well together. At this point it's like a family. We help each other. I constantly ask them: "What's funnier: if I do this or I do that?" And I don't think we care anymore about looking weak or unprofessional. We all just want the best for each other and for the show. ~ Seamus Dever

Funny. Slave masters thought they were making a difference in black people's lives too. Saving them from their "wild African ways." Same shit, different century. I wish people like them would stop thinking that people like me need saving. One-Fifteen ~ Angie Thomas

Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up. ~ Bob Lemon

Tom Jones is funny to me, man. I mean, he really tries to ape Ray Charles and Sammy Davis, you know. He's nice-looking; he looks good doing it. I mean, if I was him, I'd do the same thing. If I was only thinking about making money. ~ Miles Davis

I thanked the lucky stars for my great metabolism, because Karsen had showed me pictures of her mom once and it was scary the transformation she underwent after popping three kids out. She went from a small, dainty beauty to a giant pineapple blob of a body. ~ Holly Hood

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don't know what to tell them. ~ Mackenzie Rosman

Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be. ~ Bill Vaughan

Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp. ~ Charles Dickens

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat. ~ Stephen Wright