Ex Girlfriend Quotes

President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation. ~ David Letterman

I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.' ~ Mike Birbiglia

After they broke up, Renaldo's ex girlfriend said to never again date an older woman. And he wisely listened to her, because his mother only had his best interest in mind. ~ Jarod Kintz

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When I was growing up, I said to my ex-girlfriend, 'I will not be successful until everyone in Holland knows my name.' And it worked. ~ Afrojack

He stretches his legs out underneath the table and checks Facebook on his phone. It tells him things he doesn't need to know about people he hasn't seen in years. He absorbs their aggressively worded opinions and quasi-political hate-speak. He sees a photograph of his ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend smiling at a picnic and he realises, with a strange cascade of emptiness, that she is pregnant and wearing an engagement ring. The comments are jubilant. He reads every word before he forces himself to put his phone down. A loneliness descends. He feels its familiar talons grabbing him violently out of his chair and hanging him, swinging, up by the ceiling. Pete ~ Kate Tempest

If you don't think a mental patient has the right to bring a sawed-off shotgun to the church where his ex-girlfriend is getting married, you're part of the problem. ~ David Sedaris

An ex-girlfriend once got upset when I told her that music is the most important thing in my life. It's more important than anyone else could ever be. I don't want to be overly dramatic and say it's the only thing that gets me up and keeps me going. But people in your life come and go. As you go through your life, you make friendships, you break friendships, you have relationships. Music is the one thing I've always been able to rely on. ~ Ben Gibbard

What are you gonna say?" Emma asked. " 'I'm not sure I want you back, but I'm sure I don't want your ex-con ex-girlfriend to have you, either'? Yeah. That'll start this little triangle off on the right foot. ~ Rachel Vincent

I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude ... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal. ~ David Rees

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him. ~ Emo Philips

I unlocked the deadbolt and flung the door open, stepping back for Gabby to see exactly who it was. "Hello, Sara," I greeted.
A bubble of laughter escaped Gabby before she could contain it. "Yes, hello ex-girlfriend Sara. And might I add: law-breaker? Who let you out of your cage? Don't you know Joseph has a restraining order against you? ~ Laura Kreitzer

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes. ~ Dana Gould

There will come a time in every girl's life when she realizes that your ex-girlfriend wasn't crazy. Actually, she was right (about you). ~ Nakia R. Laushaul

My ex girlfriend and I go long periods of time without speaking to each other. And in between those extended stretches, we fill the time with silence. ~ Jarod Kintz

I crashed my bicycle on the way to my first date with my ex-girlfriend and was cautioned by the police. ~ James Norton

So that's it. It has one ex-girlfriend of mine. And it's not satisfied. It wants the only person left on this earth that I... that I'd do anything for. Just throw her into the pot, who cares. I lost her once, I cannot lose her again ~ Karina Halle

The less concerned with aesthetics and usability these friends and family members are, the more easily they navigate sites and applications I can't make head nor hair of. Like the ex-girlfriend who mastered Ebay. ~ Jeffrey Zeldman

It's the Roman numeral for 10. 5/5/89 is my birthday: 5 plus 5 is 10, and this is my tenth year since I got into music. 'X' is the 24th letter in the alphabet, and I will turn 24 when this album comes out. 'X' is also a metaphor, as in 'ex-girlfriend': it implies you're progressing and moving on in life, not holding on to the past and your old ways. ~ Chris Brown

I don't think I believe in ghosts, per se. But, my nearest experience was when I went on a weekend away and was in a bar in England, years ago, with an ex-girlfriend. I heard this scratching. I was about to go to bed and I was thinking, 'It's an old ghost.' I could hear this noise, but I couldn't work out where it was coming from. ~ Theo James

Now how about you man the fuck up, put your big girl panties on and go get your fucking ex- girlfriend back. ~ Karina Halle

My ex-girlfriend said to me, 'I'm surprised at how normal you are since you were homeschooled.' But I was only homeschooled because I wanted to be an actor. My parents are both teachers. ~ Reece Thompson

Dash is for sure straight!" Boomer announced. "He has a super-pretty ex-girlfriend named Sofia, who I think he still has a thing for, and also, in seventh grade, there was a game of spin the bottle and it was my turn and I spun and it landed at Dash, but he wouldn't let me kiss him. ~ David Levithan

But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend's brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn't know what it was. ~ Rachel Vincent

I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend. ~ Demetri Martin

I think sometimes the bits of your life happen in the wrong order, or all at the same time and you waste time feeling angry about it, but that's the way it is, it's real life. You meet the person who you think could make you happy the rest of your life, but at the same time your ex-girlfriend who's told you umpteen times she never wants to see you again tells you you're going to be a dad.'
Elle took up the story.
'And then you move to another country and then the next time you see that person, even though its like no time has passed, you sleep together and then - your mum dies'
She gave a short, sad laugh.
'Yep that's rubbish timing ~ Harriet Evans

My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I'm wearing. If I'm wearing an acorn brown shirt, my eyes look like squirrel fur. And if I'm wearing no shirt at all, my eyes look more nude and flesh-colored. I guess my ex girlfriend, Zelda, said it best when her friend asked her what I look like and she said: "He looks like you'd imagine him to look like, if you had no imagination. ~ Jarod Kintz

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. ~ Dane Cook

The three of us, working together to save the world. Me, my ex-girlfriend, and the guy she dumped me for." His mouth twisted into a half smile. "This has to be the most screwed up situation three teenagers have ever found themselves in."
"I think I saw an episode of Gossip Girl like that once," I offered. ~ Rachel Hawkins

It's only second period, and the whole school knows Emma broke up with him. So far, he's collected eight phone numbers, one kiss on the cheek, and one pinch to the back of his jeans. His attempts to talk to Emma between classes are thwarted by a hurricane of teenage females whose main goal seems to be keeping him and his ex-girlfriend separated.
When the third period bell rings, Emma has already chosen a seat where she'll be barricaded from him by other students. Throughout class, she pays attention as if the teacher were giving instructions on how to survive a life-threatening catastrophe in the next twenty-four hours. About midway through class, he receives a text from a number he doesn't recognize.
If you let me, I can do things to u to make u forget her.
As soon as he clears it, another one pops up from a different number.
Hit me back if u want to chat. I'll treat u better than E.
How did they get my number? Tucking his phone back into his pocket, he hovers over his notebook protectively, as if it's the only thing left that hasn't been invaded. Then he notices the foreign handwriting scribbled on it by a girl named Shena who encircled her name and phone number with a heart. Not throwing it across the room takes almost as much effort as not kissing Emma.
At lunch, Emma once again blocks his access to her by sitting between people at a full picnic table outside. He chooses the table directly across from her, but she seems oblivious, absently so ~ Anna Banks

I think sensitive is the wrong description of me. I'm British, actually, so quite bad at expressing myself in conversation, as any ex-girlfriend will tell you. I'm probably emotionally stunted. ~ James Blunt

My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite. ~ Jarod Kintz

Amongst all the beautiful women in this world..
There's always an idiot ex-boyfriend, who still expects her love again ~ 69rascal

Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed. ~ Aristotle.

My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid ... and her nose was shot off by French soldiers. ~ Emo Philips

I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It's amazing that something as simple as a first and last name, identical to hers, could remind me of her. I wonder how Zelda McFelda is doing thee days. ~ Jarod Kintz

If he were ever to break up with me, I would so be that stalker ex-girlfriend who stole his underwear and hid in the hedges outside his bedroom window. ~ Darynda Jones

I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that's to be expected, since she is a roofer. ~ Jarod Kintz

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet ... oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

Rebound sex is fine when you want to rebound and bounce back in life, but when you only want to bounce back into a bed with your ex-girlfriend, rebound sex would only ever turn out to be a regrettable thing ~ Jimmy Tudeski

I don't like vampire movies or zombie movies. I went to see 'I Am Legend' with an ex-girlfriend the other day, and I immediately realised it was a zombie movie! You know what I mean? There are certain rules, and those rules are things that you've seen many times. ~ Michel Gondry

Should've thought of that before you told my ex-girlfriend I eat live kittens for breakfast."
A tiny twinge of guilt. Then the cat wondered what Riley would think of her last successful "shoo-away." "Who knew she'd believe me?" [Mercy responded.]
"Oh no? When you 'accidentally' opened the cupboard to expose my 'kitten cage' full of the poor, sad kitties I was going to snack on?" A raised eyebrow. "Wasn't the cage next to my special 'kitten defurring' tools?"
"They were obviously fake."
Bas just stared at her. ~ Nalini Singh

Hiya, Alex. I missed you tonight."
My gaze rests on Sam. "Yeah, I see how much you missed me."
"Sam? Oh, I don't really like him," she coos, coming close. I can smell the mota radiating off her. "I'm waiting for you to come back to me."
"Not gonna happen."
"Is it because of your stupid chemistry partner?" She grabs ray chin, trying to force me to look at her, her long nails digging into my skin.
I grab both her wrists and pull them aside, all the time wondering how my tough-as-nails ex-girlfriend turned into a tough-as-nails bitch. "Brittany has nothin' to do with you and me. I hear you've been talkin' shit to her."
"Did Isa tell you that?" she asks, her eyes narrowed into slits.
"Just back off," I say, ignoring her question, "or you'll have a lot more to deal with than a bitter ex-boyfriend."
"Are you bitter, Alex? Because you don't act bitter. You act like you don't give a shit."
She's right. After I found her sleeping around, it took me a while to get over it, get over her. I wondered what other guys were giving her that I couldn't.
"I used to give a shit," I tell her. "I don't now. ~ Simone Elkeles

Delivered to the Byte Shop within thirty days, when the payment for the parts would come due. All available hands were enlisted: Jobs and Wozniak, plus Daniel Kottke, his ex-girlfriend Elizabeth Holmes (who had broken away from the cult she'd joined), and Jobs's pregnant sister, Patty. Her vacated bedroom as well as the kitchen table and garage were commandeered as work space. Holmes, ~ Walter Isaacson

I quit my job. I bought myself a real cheap, like, around-the-world flight ticket, and I went to 16 countries for six months just backpacking, living in cheap hostels, looking for stories with a camera and my ex-girlfriend. ~ Malik Bendjelloul

Does it really matter? Don't we have more important things to contend with than the staid details of my previous relationships?" "Normally? Yes. But when the supreme commander of North America is your ex-girlfriend, and she's already feeling really stressed about the fact that you've been lying to her? And then all of a sudden you other ex-girlfriend shows up and Juliette doesn't even know about her? And she realizes there are, like, a thousand other things you've lied to her about and then our very powerful supreme commander gets, like, super, super pissed? I don't know man, I don't see that ending well. ~ Tahereh Mafi

There is always at least one person wondering if someone who has never loved them still loves them. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

... sitting on the sidewalk outside of his workplace like some creepy stalker ex-girlfriend, waiting for him to come out so I can ambush him with love. ~ Cynthia Hand

My favourite part of my new book so far:

Chapter 48: Creatures of The Night

A figure stood in the stairwell beneath the Smoke's Poutinerie close to Simcoe Street and Adelaide Street West. He munched his pulled pork poutine and watched the strange object glide through the fog that engulfed the tall blue R.B.C. building.
"Nice night for a stroll," smiled The Rooster.

Upon heading North, Fred had decided to take a detour and glide the exact opposite way: South. It was why he was now flying through the fog that suspended over the R.B.C. building. Through the billowing cloud he sailed and higher up into the air as he was heading towards the business district of Toronto where all the skyscrapers were. As Fred got closer, he understood why they were labeled as skyscrapers: they basically scraped the sky. But the view from up here was fantastic. It was a rainy and cold night, but Fred felt very warm in his upgraded suit. Soon, he was zooming past the green windowed T.D. building and back towards the North side of Yonge Street.
However, as he sailed home, he began to worry about Allen. The Rooster had already cut up his ex-girlfriend so what would he do to Allen? Allen had been a friend to Fred when no one else had been there. Of course, he used to have many friends in preschool, elementary school, and high school but no one he clicked with. Allen McDougal was really the only family he had left and he didn't want The Rooster to kill his old f ~ Andy Ruffett

Every time I thought to, I wrote about you. ~ Crystal Woods

With one Like I can say hi to a friend, support them during a crisis, share in a joke, make someone happy, or reinforce a person's self esteem. I make myself part of their world. It's like I stopped by for coffee. But, by Liking, I can also avoid talking to all the people I don't want to waste time on. Or I can check to see what my ex-girlfriend is doing seven or eight times an hour. It's a double-edged mouse click. ~ Bart Hopkins

And I had just kissed my ex-girlfriend, who had cried, while my current girlfriend was in jail. So far, it had not been my best day. ~ Mark Zero

Most of my ex-girlfriends are still close friends. I guess when you are with someone that long, unless they did something really terrible to you, you remain friends. My real estate business is run by my best friend, who is an ex-girlfriend. ~ Ryan Kavanaugh

Usually, a breakup is caused by, or causes, the revelation of one of the parties' true colours. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A demonic reaper asked to be my valentine and then killed his crazy ex-girlfriend to save my life. Tomorrow I was starting up antipsychotic meds. ~ Courtney Allison Moulton

Hey, guys," I say as we stop in front of them. "Have a good summer?"
"I had an awesome summer," Jack says with his trademark smirk. "I got together with the ex-girlfriend I dumped more than a year ago because I'm a miserable fuck who never stopped pining for her. Oh, wait, that was you, Holt, wasn't it? ~ Leisa Rayven

Currently I'm not a crazy ex-girlfriend, but I can't promise I won't be one again. ~ Miranda Lambert

I don't want you to resent me because I have to make out with my ex-girlfriend on camera while she publicly humiliates you. ~ Katie Delahanty

My ex girlfriend, she gave great log cabin. But she couldn't write a speech like Lincoln. So I grew a beard and broke up with her. ~ Jarod Kintz

You actually fucked her? What, did her forked tongue feel exceptionally good on your dick or something? - Keely to Jack after meeting his ex-girlfriend. ~ Lorelei James

The title 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend' is meant to be a deconstruction of a stereotype, and the whole show is about deconstructing the boxes that we're supposed to be put into. We like taking apart the tropes and the stereotypes and explore the nuances, so 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend' is a label that we go deep underneath to explore. ~ Rachel Bloom

I was seventeen all over again, falling into intrigue with the boy who was an exquisite contradiction. ~ Blakney Francis

My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had biology. ~ Jarod Kintz

She said she'd been in relationships with way bigger problems than one of us being a transitory manifestation of impending doom. Like this one girl who liked her computer more than she liked her girlfriend, and another one who smoked. ~ Seanan McGuire

I thought that I was going to be Mrs. Michael Jackson, but I was ready at 20 and 21 to get married, and he was not even close to getting married or having a girlfriend at that time, but yes, we dated. We dated for a while. ~ Stephanie Mills

Good game," someone said, patting my shoulder.
"Thanks," I said, laughing.
Then I felt arms come around me and pull me close.
"Hey," Jason said, kissing my neck before parking his chin on my shoulder.
Smiling brightly, I turned around in his arms. "Great game."
"Thanks."
"You hit a home run," I said, like maybe he hadn't realized it.
"I know it seems odd, considering how long I've played baseball, but I've never hit one before," he said. "But I knew, I knew as soon as I felt the bat make contact with the ball, that it was going to go out of the park. I don't know if it sounded different or felt different, but I just knew."
"You did look stunned out there."
"I was. Like I said, I'd never done that before. I mean, hitting has never been my strength."
"It was tonight." I reached up and kissed his chin.
"I need to figure out what it was I did that made me hit the home run."
"You connected the bat to the ball."
"No, it was more than that. Something I did before the game, maybe--"
"No, no, no," I said, lifting myself up onto my toes so I could look directly into his eyes. "There was no thing you did other than keeping your eye on the ball and hitting at the precise moment when the impact would send the ball over the fence."
"I'm not so sure."
"Okay, you want to know what it was? It was having me for a girlfriend--"
He put his hand behind my head and kissed me to shut me up. Obviously, he didn't thi ~ Rachel Hawthorne

This is Glesca ... Any time you're confused, take a wee minute to remind yourself of that inescapable fact: this is Glesca. We don't do subtle, we don't do nuanced, we don't do conspiracy. We do pish-heid bampot bludgeoning his girlfriend to death in a fit of paranoid rage induced by forty-eight hours straight on the batter. We do coked-up neds jumping on a guy's heid outside a nightclub because he looked at them funny. We do drug-dealing gangster rockets shooting other drug-dealing gangster rockets as comeback for something almost identical a fortnight ago. We do bam-on-bam. We do tit-for-tat, score-settling, feuds, jealousy, petty revenge. We do straightforward. We do obvious. We do cannaemisswhodunit. When you hear hoofbeats on Sauchiehall Street, it's gaunny be a horse, no' a zebra ... '. ~ Christopher Brookmyre

'Chasing Amy' was an amazing role, but then after that, I went and did 'Big Daddy' and you're the girlfriend or you're the best friend. I wasn't getting the Nicole Kidman roles. ~ Joey Lauren Adams

Then I drove over to get my snaked-haired, sharp-tongued, unpredictable, and very perplexing girlfriend, like the besotted sap that I very much was. ~ Raine Miller

I think whenever we think of our hometowns, we tend to think of very specific people: with whom you rode on the school bus, who was your next door neighbor you were playing with, who your girlfriend was. It's always something very specific. ~ Joyce Carol Oates

Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she could make a good cup of coffee ... Yeah, she stormed right out of that Starbucks. ~ Carol Leifer

Noc knew that his girlfriend was better as he got to the door of Kay's living room. This he could tell by the sound of her screaming at Turney for some infraction on the Son of Time's part. He opened it to see her soaking wet, cornering Turney by the stereo and holding a ball of Hellfire. Noc burst out laughing at the normalcy of the whole thing. ~ Brian Fatah Steele

Marilyn Monroe is pissing me off, Charlie Chaplin owes me twenty bucks, that fucker Shrek tried to fuck my girlfriend at Baskin Robbins. ~ David Louden

Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. ~ Bob Hope

My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday's coming up, so I'm half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it. ~ Jarod Kintz

She leaves an empty hole behind her. There was this feeling of optimism and joy in the house when she was around that's now turned into void. Like Vincent, I feel hollow. Sad. And as the days pass, I begin to realize I've grown to care for Kate. Not as my best friend's girlfriend, but as someone in and of herself. And I realize I miss her. ~ Amy Plum

I was raised by a single mother and I've been in a 10-year relationship with my girlfriend. My whole life I've been surrounded by women. ~ Jon Hamm

I had one or two steady girlfriends in high school, but then in college, it was three, four ... I went crazy. At one point I had three separate girlfriends, running around mad. ~ Robin Williams

When cellphones came out, my girlfriend refused to get one for five years, because she thought it would turn her into somebody who couldn't connect with other people - and, of course, she got a cellphone. ~ Jesse Eisenberg

I've become really good at turning down the boring, pretty girl roles, the trophy wife, supermodel, beautiful girlfriend roles. I mean, playing somebody who's perfect holds no allure for me, whatsoever. It's just boring. ~ Rebecca Romijn

We were getting closer and closer to that invisible line in the sand. The line that, when crossed, meant I'd no longer be Jamie Maysen's wife. I'd be some other man's girlfriend.
A part of me wanted to run away from that line. Another wanted to take a flying leap to the other side. As it was, I was just standing with my toes on its edge. Frozen.
Because I knew the man who'd pull me across was Cole.
… He was the man of the future, patiently waiting on the other side of the line. I could imagine him standing there, holding out his hand.
I wanted to take Cole's hand. ~ Devney Perry

Your chimp?" Bennett asked with a half laugh.

"Despite what you might think, that is not a term of endearment for your girlfriend!" Harry explained, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "Even though she has monkey toes. ~ Lee Nichols

My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She's tied up in the trunk this very moment. ~ Jarod Kintz

My girlfriend: sophomore honors student, demigod, and - oh, yeah - head architect for redesigning the palace of the gods on Mount Olympus in her spare time. ~ Rick Riordan

Lexie glanced back at Alik's (her stepbrother's) closed door. "First things first, find him a girlfriend so he doesn't think of me in the shower. ~ Bonnie Erina Wheeler

You are my girlfriend," whispered Matthew. " You're my girl and I'm your guy, and you're my girl and I'm your guy. Let's not fight." -pg 126 ~ E. Lockhart

So far Tris was immune to the new version of the serum we created--it had no effect whatsoever. It's very strange that a person's genes would make them so resistant to mind manipulation of any kind."
"Maybe it's not her genes," I say, shrugging. I switch feet. "Maybe it's some kind of superhuman stubbornness."
"Oh, are we at the insult part of the breakup?" she says. "Because I got in a lot of practice after what happened with Will. I have several choice things to say about her nose."
"We didn't break up." I grin. "But it's nice to know you have such warm feelings for my girlfriend."
"I apologize, I don't know why I jumped to that conclusion." Cara's cheeks flush. "My feelings toward your girlfriend are mixed, yes, but for the most part I have a lot of respect for her."
"I know. I was just kidding. It's nice to see you get flustered every once in a while."
Cara glares at me.
"Besides," I say, "what's wrong with her nose? ~ Veronica Roth

We tilt our heads back and open wide. The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better.
Then it melts.
The bus drivers rev their engines and the ice cloud shatters. Everyone shuffles forward. They don't know what just happened. They can't remember. ~ Laurie Halse Anderson

My girlfriends are my life, but I'm also one of those girls who can hang out with the guys. ~ Sophia Bush

Suki is the nation's ideal girlfriend, a woman for whom bubbliness is a way of life, verging on a disorder. ~ David Nicholls

Dios, she'd never come so hard in her life. How many people died this way? How would he ever explain to the ambulance crews that he'd chained his girlfriend out on the deck and killed her with too many orgasms? ~ Cherise Sinclair

I'm the man that'll make your nights shine bright like day light. ~ Jonathan Anthony Burkett

I do love playing games, but once I have a girlfriend, she will be my princess. ~ Cho Kyuhyun

Where's Lucy?" I asked the others.
"At the farmhouse," Nicholas said with grim satisfaction.
"How'd you manage that?"
"She's in a closet." Solange rolled her eyes.
I stared at Nicholas. "You locked your girlfriend in a closet? Smooth."
"She's going to eviscerate him," Quinn said cheerfully. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?"
I don't hate you."
Could've fooled me."
She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look ... we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."
Why?"
She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."
They must really like olives."
Oh, forget it."
Now, if she'd invented pizza-that I could understand. ~ Rick Riordan

Today a soldier can go out on patrol and kill someone or have one of his friends killed and call his girlfriend on his cell phone that night and probably talk about anything except what just happened. And if society itself tries to blur it as much as possible, by conscious well-intended efforts to provide "all the comforts of home" and modern transportation and communication, what chance does your average eighteen-year-old have of not becoming confused?2 ~ Karl Marlantes

There is an English expression: 'high-maintenance girlfriend,'" Csongor remarked. "Now, of course, Zula is not my girlfriend. Probably never would be, even if all this shit were not happening. And I think that if she were my girlfriend? She would not be high maintenance at all! She is just not that type of girl. However. Because of circumstances, today she is the most high-maintenance girlfriend since Cleopatra. ~ Neal Stephenson

Realization of his philandering arrived via an empty condom wrapper tucked in the back pocket of his jeans as I, the dutifully dumb girlfriend, decided to do him a favor by throwing some of his laundry in with mine. ~ Penny Reid

You throw the kitchen sink at your early books. You put everything in there. It's like when you meet a new girlfriend or boyfriend, you tell them all your best stories. By the time you have been married for 10 years, they are crying, 'Shut up!' ~ Mark Billingham

I have definitely been in experiences where my girlfriends have outgrown me and that's ok and I think that I should be inspired by that to know that it's time to move on - it's time to evolve as well and I think that should be inspirational to other people. They shouldn't feel stifled and feel like oh we can't grow up, we can't move on - change is a good thing. ~ Adrienne Bailon